tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post7888891986487625425..comments2023-10-11T08:37:02.904-05:00Comments on My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journey: Facing the truthMy Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-45045515597155318172014-07-16T05:57:24.020-05:002014-07-16T05:57:24.020-05:00Thanks for your lovely message Theresa. Your post...Thanks for your lovely message Theresa. Your post could have been written by me, I feel exactly the same, in all respects bar hope. I'm not sure how you manage to keep that one going, but I sure feel the same about everything else:) Thanks for your very kind support, hugs from across the ocean to you!Samanthahttp://chronicallystimulated.blogspot.com.au/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-31851703392656984812014-07-11T00:09:12.250-05:002014-07-11T00:09:12.250-05:00I'm so sorry you've been going through so ...I'm so sorry you've been going through so much lately! However, I am glad you finally posted again. I was getting worried about you! I know exactly what you mean about smiling on the outside and feeling like crap on the inside. I do that everyday. And then of course because you don't look like shit on the outside, everyone assumes you're fine. It's very frustrating. My most frustrating thing is that every time I get a new procedure done, my friends all expect me to be "cured". I've explained a million times, this is something I'm going to have the rest of my life. The procedures are things I'm trying to help ease the pain, but it's never going to go away completely. I hate dealing with anyone that doesn't have chronic pain these days. I swear if my husband wasn't also suffering from his own chronic pain, we would not be together. It's a big reason why I divorced my last husband. It was a 2nd marriage for both of us and we always said that unlike our ex-spouses from our first marriages, WE meant our vows when we took them. I never thought I'd end up with 2 divorces! He had some trouble with the being faithful part, mostly an emotional affair with an ex of his and he really just could not handle the "in sickness and in health" vow. He just wanted me to get better and when I couldn't, he told me to "Suck It Up!" That was the end for me. I couldn't be with someone who didn't believe I was in pain and didn't try to understand it at all. I was convinced I'd be alone forever when I finally decided to file for divorce. We had already been living apart for a year before I got to that point. I wanted to know that I had literally tried everything to make my marriage work, and I feel like I gave it everything I had and finally had to go my separate way, because I would rather be single and alone than married and still alone. I did not plan on meeting anyone ever and was definitely not looking, but 5 days after I filed for divorce I met a man who is now my fiancée, even though I refer to him as my husband. We've been together over 2 years already and we both have so many health issues, we've been through so much with each other. He's my best friend and biggest advocate and I have done the same for him. When one of us is in the "Why did this happen to me!" phase the other helps us get through it. I know they always say God never gives you more than you can handle, but I have to think that God might be overestimating how much we can handle. On top of everything else, I had a mammogram and ultrasound 2 weeks ago and they found a lump in my left breast. They "think" it's benign and just want to keep an eye on it, which means a repeat of testing in 6 months and yesterday my hubby found out he has type 2 diabetes. Two weeks ago he was in acute kidney failure and now this. I'm 38 and he's 47. We feel like we're 90! And we also look at people who basically beat the hell out of their bodies and they're perfectly healthy and wonder why we hit the jackpot on diseases and injuries. It's not fair! I learned a long time ago that life's not fair, but come on. Enough is enough! I don't really know what the point of my comment was, besides I just wanted to tell you I know how you feel. I had my spinal cord stimulator trial on May 12 and they don't have me scheduled for the permanent implant until Oct. 9th! So, so frustrated. I'm going to call and harass the scheduler again tomorrow and see if I can light a fire under her ass ! I'm falling asleep so I guess it's time to say goodnight. Thank you for posting again. I always look forward to reading your blog. God Bless you and your family. I'll be sending jo some prayers for you all. Feel free to email me if you want and have time. Kyanne06mom@gmail.comDananoreply@blogger.com