tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76137914770271895762024-03-14T04:32:24.949-05:00My Spinal Cord Stimulator JourneyMy Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.comBlogger202125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-75278560679566401172015-03-31T19:40:00.000-05:002015-03-31T19:40:01.641-05:00Happy Spring<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can't tell you how happy I am to see spring arrive. As I took a walk Saturday afternoon so many of my neighbors were out washing cars, planting flowers and freshening up their flower beds. I love my neighborhood especially during this time. The yards are green again. Everyone is into having their yard look really nice. The naked trees have green leaves again. My birds are hanging around in the back yard. (yes, they're my birds...the same ones return) The down side here in LA is spring is VERY short. We'll probably enjoy another week or two of staying in the 80's then it will be full out HOT! </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This warm weather turning to hot weather has a plus. We will open the pool next week. Last year we were in by the end of April. The walks have been so nice through the fall and winter but it's been hard to find the right time the last week or two. Anytime I can I prefer to walk in the morning, but I'm slow to get moving (stiff and sore) so it's starting to be a little warm when I make it out. My other favorite time was around 3 but it's definitely to warm now for that. I'm sure your wondering so what's the big deal about it being hot? I don't mind sweating a little but I'm learning being to hot and sweaty aggravates my hives even if I shower right away. So you can understand my excitement of getting to swim laps and walk in the pool again!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow my first born, and April fools baby, will celebrate another birthday. She's such an awesome mom and wife. What she lacks in cooking skills, she makes up in so many other ways. She recently took my grandkids pictures herself for the first time. AJ's NaNan went along to help. I told her they are so beautiful that I just can't understand her ever paying anyone to take them again now that AJ is older. She is crafty to the max, bakes, sews and works two different jobs. In her free time (all moms know there is no such thing...it's time you find) she does photography on a professional level. Needless to say like many mothers, I'm so proud of her. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">P and AJ</td></tr>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've continued to meet twice a month with the crochet compassion group at the library. It's amazing the people I've met and how everyone has something to give. Some people just show up with bags they collected. Some show up to work the two hours and their done. We have one lady who is legally blind but she likes to sit unfold and smooth bags to get someone else started. We have ladies who only like to do the prep work and some who only like to do the crocheting. It all works well. I myself like to do all steps, because I think I'd get board just doing the same steps all the time. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I completed my first mat on March 3rd and I'm very close to completing my second. Our next gathering is April 7th so I plan to have it ready for then to turn in. The need is overwhelming. As long as I have bags to work with I will keep on crocheting. It takes approximately 550-600 bags and 18 hours to complete a mat. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First completed mat with handle</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">5 mats turned in this day :-)</td></tr>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of the bags, I mentioned on an instagram post that I needed help by asking any of my followers if they could help me save some plastic bags. ( I don't really have many followers, but it only took a couple ) A few people can do amazing things. My daughter, my neighbor and a friend have been supplying me with a bag of bags on a weekly basis. Then there is my friend who had an idea to ask on social media also. She is on facebook and has a lot of followers so she got such a great response. We were both so touched by how many people responded and wanted to help. She has collected A LOT of bags for me. If I don't need any at the time, I bring to the meetings because not all of the newcomers have bags to get started. Her help has been tremendous and very appreciated. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The colorful one I'm working on now!</td></tr>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Health wise I'm doing ok. No better, no worse, so I can't complain. April will be my first 3 month recurring appointment with my new dermatologist. (mine of 20 years retired) She didn't actually due the surgery but I'm anxious for someone to look at the incision site again. It's been painful in a nervy way. It's still numb in some areas too. The oncologist had told me that can happen with a small percentage of people and take up to 6 months to get better. I'm doing the PT exercises, but it's still bothering me. If that was all I was dealing with it really wouldn't be a big deal. I've let it bug me because I just don't need an added irritation. It is what it is though, so I'll deal with whatever the outcome. I'd rather deal with the discomfort than find out there is more (melanoma) somewhere else.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also have an appointment with my pain management doctor in April. What's so special you may ask? The first time since 2010 that I've been able to go 6 months instead of every 3. I'm grateful since I now have the dermatologist every 3 months instead of yearly.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like every fibromyalgia patient I have good days and bad days. When you have a good day you can hardly enjoy it because you feel like your crazy. How can you feel so normal one day and feel pain everywhere in your body the next day? I've learned over the years what triggers it and to just be prepared.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My family knows I'm not likely to make commitments. They know it takes a lot to keep me down so if I cancel or say no I know they understand. I spent so much time worrying about what people would think if I said, " I don't feel well" or "I can't do it today". You look fine to everyone, so your mind tricks you into believing your friends and family don't understand. Give them a chance. Send them information to read or share about something you saw on television. Ask them to come to your appointment with you. Support from people around you is absolutely critical in my opinion. The last thing you need is guilt to deal with. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I finished reading <i>Killing Jesus </i>after reading <i>Killing Lincoln</i>. Sunday night the movie from <i>Killing Jesus </i>played on the NatGeo channel and broke records. It will air again on Fox this Friday and again Sunday. I'm on the waiting list to read <i>Killing Paton </i>next. Lately I've been sharing some movies I've enjoyed so here are a few more. All <i>my opinions </i>of course.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whiplash: if you or your children are musically inclined you'll understand the passion of this movie. If not, you may be bored or not get the plot.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Best of me: RENT THIS MOVIE if you didn't see it. ( tissues needed) My pick, but my husband did not deny he like it!</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Equalizer: great pick, but I'm a Denzel fan. I love all his movies. My favorite movie of all time is one of his. Remember the Titians</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">LucY: save your money. (D's pick) Dumb plot and slow...again my opinion</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A at her last visit with her daddy</td></tr>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy Easter to all.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God Bless</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Theresa</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-90784746572116663232015-02-09T21:32:00.000-06:002015-03-31T11:37:08.494-05:00A new scar<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">On January 30th the oncology surgeon did the surgery to remove the rest of the recurring melanoma from 2011. It's coming along with the healing. I'm in 10 days. The scar itself is looking better but the top and bottom portion are still very tender. As of this morning I haven't heard from the oncology office on the lab results so I gave them a call. He told me day of surgery that we should have results in 3-5 days. I didn't get a return call as of tonight.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">I'm anxious for my follow up appointment next week. I'm hoping he will let me start to put something on it for the dry tight skin and to help with the scaring also. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On to other news. I really wanted to get involved in a project I read about the last time I was at the library. It's called Crochet Compassion. A group of women get together the first Tuesday of the month. They do some work for the homeless, but I got much more out of it than that. It was nice to meet some new people and socialize. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What are they making? Mats for the homeless. It can be wet and cold outside. What little they have to put down on the ground ends up damp and or wet. The plastic mat helps keep whatever cover they have dry. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">These ladies spend many hours making balls of plastic yarn </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(plarn) from plastic bags you get at the grocery store. They are smoothed, folded and cut into strips of circles and connected together. When you connect enough you roll into a ball and get started. It's just basic crochet after that. I had been saving some bags but I discovered right away that I needed many more. I called on some friends who came through for me. I was also able to get some from some of the local retailers from their recycle bin.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I would be a lot farther along but unfortunately the crocheting part bothers my arm. 30 minutes into it it starts aching. It hasn't stopped me though I've been chipping away at it. Feels good to be doing something to help someone else instead of feeling sorry for myself. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> What I've completed Bags every where</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A mat completed, hard to believe that's plastic bags!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Since I've written last my youngest granddaughter turned one. She was the sweetest thing at her party. I was having a better day than usual, except for the sore on my leg, so I really enjoyed myself. It was so fun watching her dive into her smash cake. She started out with her fingers but then the little Diva used a spoon. In the end it was all over her face and belly. No worries though she cleaned right up with a quick splash in the tub.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I read the book "<i>Killing Lincoln" </i>I liked it so much I've started "<i>Killing Jesus"</i>. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Movies.....a couple weeks ago we rented <i>BoyHood</i>. I liked it, it was unique but not as brilliant as advertised. This past week end we watched <i>The Judge</i> with Robert Downy Jr. It was awesome. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After my two picks I had to let D pick one and his was <i>Fury. </i> It was kind of bloody, war movie but if you got past that and the cussing it was ok. My opinion on all of course. Funny how we rarely watch movies but every time I'm recovering we get through several. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nonna with the birthday girl</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">enjoying her cake</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">chilling in her birthday chair!<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I can't believe we are moving right on into the middle of February. Seems it was just Christmas. I've made plans to spend some time with some friends at the beach the first week end in May. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to that. Right around the time that happens we should be opening the pool too. The walking has been tough. I've been thrilled to keep fighting and getting it done but I'm also looking forward to exercising in the pool again. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Take care and stay full of H.O.P.E.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Theresa</span></div>
My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-84177627606223094022015-01-12T23:28:00.001-06:002015-01-12T23:28:51.565-06:00It's back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New Years day and my birthday</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My holidays were anything but typical. A lot of my grandchildren were sick, my daughter and myself. As I mentioned in my previous post I had a spot removed at my dermatologists request. He felt pretty confidant it was nothing, but because it was in the same exact spot (on my scar from the 2011 melanoma) he wanted to shave it off and have the lab take a closer look. I teased him about telling me it "was nothing" last time. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My medicine I'm taking for the fibromyalgia since November seems to still be helping most of the time. If it's just a typical day at home I feel as close to normal as I have in some time. When I do go out for errands, shopping, watch my youngest grand baby etc. I still struggle with the same issues as the past. The good part is that my pain seems to be at a lower level. Leading up to Christmas I had some bad days where I took ibuprofen. A couple of times I took more than a dose a day to keep in in control. I didn't think anything of it because I'd mostly used acetaminophen 650 so I figured a little here and there wouldn't hurt anything. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The Tuesday before Christmas Eve late in the evening I got a call from my dermatologist. When I saw <i>Dermatology Clinic </i>on the caller ID I knew if they were calling something was up. If the biopsy is normal they just send you a notice by email or by the email portal through the clinic. When I answered it was my dermatologist, not the nurse. My stomach suddenly hurt. It was malignant melanoma IN SITU. The findings stated that given the history of melanoma in the site, a recurrence is favored. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This meant I needed to go back just like the first time and let him do a small incision and take more tissue around site. We set that up for the 29th. The Monday before New Years.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 days after. My skin stayed irritated from the dressing.</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Just a little about melanoma stages for those who are not aware:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Stage 0-1 tumors/ 0 is localized and in situ which has not penetrated the surface of the skin. This is when you want to catch it for best outcome. I was asked to come back at 6 months then once a year (unless I see something) Stage 1 has invaded the skin at a slow rate and are small. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Stage 2 tumors/ though localized are larger (1 to 2mm) and/or can be ulcerated and can be larger up to 4 mm. The depth is as important as the size.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Stage 3 and 4 tumors have spread (metastasized) to other parts of the body.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In between that time I had a flare up with my back and I was having terrible stomach pains. Christmas eve it was really bothering me but I didn't want to say anything to my husband because I was afraid he'd just feel it was stress from worrying about the upcoming results of new biopsy. Some of my husbands family came for Christmas day. I hope it didn't show for them, but it was an awful day for me. My stomach kept me awake most of the night and I wasn't sure I could get through helping my husband finish cooking. I did what I could and thank goodness they were very understanding to how I was feeling. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That afternoon as soon as they left I went back to the couch where I'd been most of day. After an hour we decided I needed to go to the ER. Something was definitely not right.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I was there from 5:30 to 11:30. I must say they were on top of things and constantly working to get me comfortable. Someone was always there either giving me something or taking me for lab or x ray. I didn't spend a lot of down time with nothing happening. In the end they found something to reduce my 10+ pain in my back. A cocktail to drink to numb my stomach, and a shot of pepcid (yes, a shot...a real needle) to calm my stomach. I guess the ibuprofen has been harder on me than I thought. My gastritis is speaking volumes.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm<i> still</i> struggling with it. Most days it's hurting. I have no appetite and I'm nauseous. I find something soothing to eat because I get weak if I don't. The ER doctor asked me to go back and see my gastroenterologist if not better in a couple of days. I have talked to them on the phone and they've changed a few things from what the ER doctor put me on. I plan to go back in, but want to finish this melanoma fight first. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This past Thursday evening I get another call from the Dermatology Clinic. It's the dermatologist calling again. When you hear the doctor on the line...not good right?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Right, it's not clear. Melanoma still present. Stage 2 but not really deep. So that's good right? I didn't find that out until today. She set me up for today to get my stitches out and to an Oncology Surgeon she was referring me to for more invasive surgery in that area. She made me aware that they sometime want to biopsy the closest lymph node to melanoma site. My appointment with her went well. She said I did an awesome job of caring for my incision. Personally I think it looks terrible. I'm sure it's because it was over the previous incision site. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">She decided she wanted to do a head to toe check while I was there. She found two spots she was didn't like so "just because" there is a history now she shaved them and sent them off too. When I saw the oncology surgeon he put my mind at ease a little. He said my lymph nodes in armpits and neck felt normal. Due to the fact that the melanoma was at 0.5 depth (although still serious and dangerous) he is always more concerned about spreading with a 1-4mm depth. He agreed with everything my dermatologist recommended including being checked every 3 months vs. yearly and that it is a recurring melanoma. "For how long I do I have to do every 3 months?" "For life" was his answer.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We decided together we'd schedule for two weeks instead of next week for the surgery. He really wanted to have the results of the two biopsies from today so there wasn't any chance of having to go back again for another surgery. So it's back to waiting again. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm really not concerned. I've studied melanoma a lot the first time I had it and have continued to read any articles I've discovered on it leading up to now. I'm a proactive patient and go with my gut. My gut brought me in at the first sign when many would have sat on it and watched for a while. Love yourself enough if you have any fears of something wrong with your body/health to have it checked. Don't every fill silly about knowing for certain if something is wrong or not. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm counting down the months until this cold weather is over. Especially damp cold days like today. The fibromyalgia just amplifies everything. I'm trying to hang in there without the pain medication but I'll tell you it's hard. Many times over the last couple of weeks I told my husband it's just not worth it. I'm stopping the new drug and going back to my narcotic. At least I get some good relief for a few hours. I've actually went back and reread my post about getting off of it to remind myself the down side to taking it. Then a good day will happen again and you start to doubt yourself. Am I crazy? I know my regular FM and back pain suffers that read here know what I'm talking about. You've let me know I'm not crazy and you experience the same. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I really need to do better with writing more than just when I have news regarding my health. As I've said in the past, I've really started to hate being on my computer. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My youngest grandchild is turning 1 in 2 weeks. It seems like just a few months ago we were at the hospital waiting for her arrival. She is something else. So sweet, yet so BAD. She is her mother as a toddler. She is really going to have some kind of personality. Like both of my other grandchildren she has learned to sigh and definitely lets you know what she wants. All of them keep me going. They cause me to push myself and not let myself get to down.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Recently on an episode of 60 minutes a wise woman said, "the first 50 years are for learning and the second 50 are for living. I'm ready for that....</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Full of H.O.P.E. ( hold on pain ends )</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Theresa</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Handsome boy P<br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AJ with all her Minnie's</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A in her Elsa hat Aunt B made for her :-)</td></tr>
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My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-81250152442005093552014-12-22T22:52:00.001-06:002014-12-22T22:52:20.552-06:00In Honor of our protectors <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My heart has been hurting so much for the two police officers killed Saturday afternoon. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">They were on duty, in their car and never had a chance. A crazy mad person who had a long criminal record approached their car, fired multiple shots and killed them. This sick individual had shot his girlfriend earlier that morning and made it known through an instagram post what his next mission was. This is what it said...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>"I'm putting wings on the pigs today." "They take 1 of ours....Lets's take 2 of theirs, ending with "this may be my final post" #EricGarner #MichaelBrown #shootthepolice</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am so outraged. These officers were working overtime as part of an anti-terrorism drill.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Being a police officer is a volunteer career. I believe it's a calling. Who in their right mind wants to leave their family every day and not know if they will return home or not? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sure, that's a risk for us all in this day and age, but we're not going out and intentionally put our life on the line for the American people.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">America.....land of the free. The land where we have the right to protest something we believe is wrong or right. No other country would allow us to do that. Because of that right the police have been protecting protesters even though they were chanting "shoot the police". Do you think you could do that? My heart has been breaking for them since the beginning of this terrible terrible nightmare that started in August. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Where would we be if no one wanted to be a police officer. Who would protect us? This brings up something else that makes me angry. How can they protect us when everyone has available to them the same weapons that they carry to protect us. They are being used to kill the very people who provide protection for us. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Rafael Ramos was 40 years old with 2 sons. They are left to grow up without their father. His 13 year old son posted several posts today on his Facebook page that are so moving. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> The Ramos family came out and spoke to the public today and said they forgive the killer because thats the kind of man Rafael Ramos was and that's what he would have wanted. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wenjian Liu was a newlywed of only two months. He had served seven years on the force.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I heard a conversation on FOX News today from one of the broadcasters regarding Mr. Liu. It was a story about him stopping by somewhere on his home one day when he was still in training and some friends asked him why he wanted to be a cop? He said, " because you don't want to do it, a lot of people don't want to do it. If no one does, how can we keep the people safe. Someone has to do it, so I will." </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's been said that Officer Liu & Officer Ramos never had the opportunity to draw weapons. They probably never saw their assailant. We need to stand up for our police officers. They get paid very little and have such an important job. I've had a bad experience with an officer before but I'm not disrespectful to them because of it. Four officers have suffered minor injuries in scuffles with protestors. Two were attacked on the Brooklyn Bridge a week ago. Still they have to go and protect the very people who are rioting against them. What's wrong with our world? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> I can't tell you how passionate I am about this. You don't see people who support the NYPD out in the streets protesting now. There is nothing but calm and an entire side walk filled with flowers and candles in honor of the fallen officers. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm praying for both of their families and urge you to do so too. I've felt so helpless. I have a voice so I'm using it. I live where we have freedom of speech, so I'm speaking it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Teach your children to respect authority. If the situation is bad, just go with it and if your innocent it will work out. Know your kids friends and where they are. It starts in the home. As I read about many of the thugs who kill cops and their own kind I find they have been living on the streets. If they do have a home, they have one parent and it's usually a mother working two jobs to survive. It's going to come to cops being hesitant to feeling safe to do their job due to these past acts of rioting and luting. Innocent business owners losing their business that they spent years building up. If they can't do their job where will <b><i>we </i></b>be?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">RIP to everyone who has died in this unsettling battle of blacks vs cops. Blacks believing cops hunt them down. *Shame on ALL the hollywood stars and athletics who used that status to sing about bad cops and how "they ain't gonna stop til there people are free, go on national tv with their hands up when they obviously don't know the truth and wearing shirts to promote more uproar instead of calling for peace. Let me fill you in....your people have been free. Stop crying about it and act like educated, respectful, free people you could be. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Praying for Peace and living with H.O.P.E.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Theresa</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">*Samuel L Jackson</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">*LeBron James</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">*St. Louis Rams football players</span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-84961096393246076912014-12-18T09:58:00.001-06:002014-12-18T09:58:34.666-06:00A lot to be Thankful for<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here we are a little over a month later from my last post. I always have good intentions to blog, but getting on my computer has not been a priority. Even though there are many holiday things I should or could be doing I've made <i>me </i>the priority. Many days I've been resting or reading and thought I should update my readers and let them know how I'm doing. Finally, here I am.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I saw my rheumatologist a week ago Monday. On that day I had started the medication he recommended just 3 days before. To soon to tell anything yet. I was shocked to hear him say that patients who have never been on an opioid have a higher percentage rate of it working. What? Now you tell me. I'm always in that low percentage so I didn't like hearing this. Never the less, I'm thrilled to no longer be taking the pain medication. I'm at the point that every day that is a "normal" day my pain scale is level all day. It never decreases, only increases with activity. I can live with this much better than the highs and lows of the way narcotics effect you. If this new medication will help my FM pain I will feel really good about the place I'm in right now.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The first Monday of December I saw my therapist and asked her if I could taper off of my antidepressant. I really expected her to say no. What I was taking is also good for anxiety so I didn't think she'd go for it. At the end of our session she told me it was obvious to her that I was still hurting but she saw many differences. The tone in my voice, the sound of hope, and some smiles. (Geez, didn't realize I never smiled) She said, "YES". Woo hoo another one bites the dust. ( pills ). I've been off it for 11 days. So far so good.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I really believe everything I've been trying in the past and taking now was not helping because of the narcotic. Last week I had a particular day that was tough for me. That night I had hives by the time I went to bed on my arm on my hip on same side. The next day I was down most of the day. Sore muscles, nerve spasms in most of the FM tender points. The good news is that I seem to be having fewer of these days. If I'm at home and don't over exert myself with something out of my normal routine I can say I'm doing better. Again, the day to day pain has been so much more manageable than before. I know this is it. This is my life. I think part of dealing with it better is that I no longer have any idea of what "normal" feels like. You don't miss what you don't remember. I have no clue what it would feel like to wake up and feel well. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm still walking as often as I can. If you suffer from back pain and you can manage to get started it will be so beneficial for you. If you don't do something to continue to strengthen it, it just gets weaker. Does that mean it's easy...no chance. I really do a lot of "I can do it" chanting and I listen to Christian music while I walk. It has become therapy mentally and physically for me. I get a natural "high" when I make it to the finish line. It must be something like that for runners. It is a big challenge, and you should take it on. It is so worth the time you put into it. Stretching after it must, so it adds a little more time. If your going to do it, do it right so you really do some good. I feel the best I feel all day for the first hour after my walk. Web MD has some great stretches for people with lower back pain. Do's and don'ts. You have to make sure they are ok for your particular case. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what am I up to right now? I'm recently obsessed with The O'Reilly Factor. I've learned more about politics since the Michael Brown shooting than I've learned in my adult life. Not to mention all the other things going on in this INSANE crazy world we live in. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm making a reading list. All of a sudden there are a lot of new books out I want to read. Also some new music I'm interested in. I'm not stressing out about Christmas. What I get done, I will. What I don't, I'm really not that concerned about it. That's unusual for me. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Going to the movie theater is not big on my list. To hard to sit through the movie. I'd love to see the Hobbit (The Battle of the Five Armies) and Unbroken....at the theater. If I go once a year that's a lot for me so I'm challenging myself. There are some movies you just need to see on the big screen. Last night my husband and I watched "When the Game Stands Tall"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was awesome and I highly recommend it. It's based on a true story.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What am I excited about.....what else? The Celebrity Apprentice is BACK! Jan 4. A great cast of celebrities. The only thing that makes up for the end of DWTS.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Alfonso was my pick from the beginning. I was so happy for him. Everyone in the final four was great though. All deserving. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow will be two weeks on the new medication. I really want to believe it's helping. Time will tell. Oh and one more thing. I found some research that links hives with FM. I've been doing a lot of trials of getting off of things to see if that was the cause. I really believe I've found my answer, which is, they are not going anywhere. Monday I had to have a biopsy for a spot on my arm and it just so happened that the other arm had several hives out. I discussed with my dermatologist once more and showed him some pictures so he could see how many more I have at one time these days. Not to mention the size of them seems to have increased. He gently told me after this long I can't count on one thing, they are here to stay. The good news is that studies have found that sometime in your 60's you "outgrow" them. Such a hilarious term. I'll be 50 in a few weeks. 10 down 10 to go. Something to look forward to.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a safe and fun New Year.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Theresa</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The joy in my heart</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-75954407673017882642014-11-10T22:38:00.002-06:002014-11-16T19:00:17.030-06:00I MADE IT!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After what seemed a life time ( reality..2months) I'm finally free of pain medication running my life. It's true, it did. Everything I did was planned around when or how long ago I'd taken my pain medication. It was never questionable. If it had worn off, and wasn't time for my next one, I couldn't do it. I don't regret having to take it as long as I did but I do regret that my doctor didn't encourage me sooner to see what would happen if I stopped taking it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My rheumatologist had mentioned in the past when I would complain about the various FM drugs I've tried not working that it could be the narcotic blocking it. No pressure, just information. You never could have convinced me that I could function without it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wednesday will be one week completely free from a pill doing me more harm than good. I think each two week step down was just as, if not harder than, the first 3 days of being totally off. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wednesday: I awake thinking OMG how am I going to get through this day? <i> Nothing</i> for relief. I AM NOT a bed person. How in the world will I manage? No NSAIDS allowed.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Text message from my husband: How u doin?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Me: Brave of you to ask.....then a list of complaints </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Him: no, your brave!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> My first accomplishment was to take a walk, which I done 43 out of the 58 days I've been on this journey. During the summer I was swimming and walking in the pool for exercise. Don't get me wrong, this is excellent exercise. Everyday that I was in there I was praising God we were fortune enough to work out a way to have a pool for me to exercise in. All of my doctors have said, "KEEP MOVING". Walking was a different story. I had slowly worked up to walking short distances after my first stimulator surgery. Several months later I was walking a little over a mile and increased to a good pace for me. After I had the revision surgery a year later as soon as the doctor gave me the ok I got back to it once</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">more. This time I couldn't keep with it. I couldn't walk through the pain. I stuck to swimming, walking, PT stretchs in the pool and riding my recumbent bike for exercise. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A week before I started the tapering I made up my mind that I was going to walk it out no matter what. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever I could do was better than staying inside and fighting this battle with no other help. Once I made up my mind I was able to do it. I had to do it right away or I'd let the pain take over my mind and win. After the walk I did a 25 minute stretch routine that consisted of all the back and core strengthening exercises that my physical therapist taught me. It took and is still taking commitment to get it done. If I had an appointment I got up early enough to do beforehand. I knew that if I could get my back a little stronger would help me in the end of this process. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thursday: Each day will be a little better. Not day 2 though...it was worse than day one. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">During the time of day that I usually took my pain medicine my body was screaming at me. My back hurt so bad. I just couldn't imagine how this was going to work. I reminded my self I trust my doctor. Why would he just torture me for nothing.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Text message from my daughter: How r u?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Me: A bunch of nonsense about how it has to get better than this : < ( A comment my PM doctor said to me on Monday when I saw him. ( you'll find after about 2 months your pain will level off to a lower degree and mostly stay the same. 90% of people find they feel so much better in the end) I go on with my nonsense to text, " he obviously forgot I live in the 10%". </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Her: Well you've had victory with every other med step you've taken so we'll believe you will here too!! Take it easy.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's that kind of support that helped me through some though days. There are very few people who understand what I've been through I have many who care. Even some of my readers have checked on me. Thank you, it means the world to me to know you understand and support me. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Unfortunately when Friday rolled around I had an added discomfort jump on board. It started as a flaming throat and nose. At first I just thought it was allergy but by Sunday it involved my ears and chest. I feel like an moose is sitting on my chest. I'm hanging in there since I have a doctor appointment Wednesday anyway. Of course my old friend "the hives" have been lurking around just to make thinks a little more uncomfortable. A few days I didn't have any but most days I had at least one and at most four.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I hate these buggers :-(</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">They'll never leave me!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've been out very little ( besides my walk ) A trip to the fruit stand, very close to my house. Saturday evening went to eat at some friends house and watch the LSU-BAMA game. I really wanted to get out of the house and knew my friend would keep me laughing which would be so good for me. I was right about that too. I was happy to see my husband getting to watch the game with friends. We used to always do something for the game but this season we've been right here. Today I tackled getting gas and going inside Wally World for a few things. I can tell you I've spent quite a bit of time soaking in the tub but it really helps. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In conclusion I feel like when this allergy/sinus issue is better I can really tell how I'm feeling. I feel like my back is getting stronger and when it does start to hurt from activity it's a totally different pain. There is a constant "soreness" more than "pain" from the start of day that turns into a medium grade pain. When I'm over this I can't wait to see how I really feel. I'm quite surprised at how my back felt today and praying it continues and is real. I guess what I mean is sometime when something else is hurting you can put your chronic pain at the bottom. I'm not saying this a good situation but just how it can be. I plan to update you in a couple of weeks to let you know how I feeling. For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to each coming day. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Live in Peace not in pieces</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Iylana</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Vanzant</b></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My big princess</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">P on his 5th birthday</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My little princess</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-3538385549613132922014-10-09T10:18:00.001-05:002014-10-15T20:50:59.527-05:00Where I am<p dir="ltr">Here I am 6 weeks into tapering off of pain medication.  I'ts going better than I thought it would.  My latest step down brought me to one half in am, one fourth one forth in afternoon and bedtime. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Initially I was taking 2.5.  One in morning, one again when I just couldn't take it any longer. (Anywhere from 2-4 pm depending on what I had to do that day) and 3-4 days a week a half at bedtime. </p>
<p dir="ltr">My first adjustment was one half three times a day.  After a week of that I was feeling like stepping down was for the birds and to slow for me. I decided to stop taking bedtime dose completely,  then stop taking afternoon.  NOT.  Two nights in a row of no sleep at all put me back on the half at night for a couple nights then I moved to a quarter at night for two weeks. </p>
<p dir="ltr">During this time I had a conversation with my pharmacist and she really encouraged me to take it slow.  I heard everything my doctor said.  It's not about the amount you were taking.  It's about how long you've been taking it.  She said the minor withdrawals I was experiencing will be much worse if I just skipped doses instead of tapering slowly.   The rebound period will be more intense after if I didn't take it slowly.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">I just wanted it to be over.  However, I took her advise and stuck with the plan. <br>
My next move was half, half, quarter.  Two weeks later half, quarter, quarter.  Next week I will move to quarter three times a day.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">Funny thing is even though I have my hives flaring up right now, fatigue, night sweats and brain zaps,  it's not so bad.  Pain wise I mean.  As far as my back.  What you find, at least for me, after a couple days the half works the same as a whole.  It lowers my pain number to the same and wears off at the same time.  Same when I moved to the quarter.  It takes a couple of days but you adjust.  I'm understanding how it doesn't just relieve pain but makes you body dependant on it.  I've always understood the difference between addiction and your system being dependant, but now I'm experiencing it for real.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">I have more faith than I ever had in the last 6 years that some parts may get better. The ultimate goal is to have my stimulator give me enough relief to not need any narcotic and find a medication that WORKS for the fibromyalgia.  It's been long enough to stop dwelling on why I have to live with this.  It's about keeping myself comfortable in the safest way possible.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">I had to stop by my psychologists office to pick up some samples last week. She happened to see me at front office and asked how I was.  I explained where I was in tapering off the pain medicine.  I shared with her my thoughts of how even though my pain increases at some times of the day it hasn't effected my mood.  In fact, I seem to be in a better mood than usual.  She wasn't at all surprised to here me say that.  They are downers, that's a down side she explained.  They can make you moody and depressed.  I'm now wanting to believe that if I can get off completely and the other drug my rheumatologist wants me to take for my FM works the depression will be better.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">Nothing wrong with being hopeful.  I've been hoping for years with each coming appointment something would change.  I'm just a little impatient getting to that point.  Some days the FM is worse than my back.  I saw my rheumatologist last week and he said I need to be off the pain meds for two full weeks before starting the new medicine.  (It takes that long to be completely out of your system) This will be the toughest part.  Nothing to help with pain and the withdrawals I will experience.  I have to believe it will be worth it. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I picked up a prescription and the pharmacist asked how I was doing. I let her know where I am and how it was going.  She gave me a huge boost of encouragement and some advise on what to do after I complete this last step down.  It felt so good to get some encouragement.  It's been hard, but I feel so positive about it. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Hanging in there full of H.O.P.E.<br>
Theresa</p>
My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-4353891014062974992014-09-04T23:04:00.000-05:002014-09-04T23:04:03.801-05:00A new plan<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As I mentioned in my previous post I've made some decisions regarding my medications. At my last visit with my rheumatologist he discussed a medicine with me that has new studies out to help with FM pain. He asked me to go home and research and for some time I forgot about it. When I did look it up I was disappointed in what I found because the drug seemed to be used for patients detoxing from high doses of narcotics. At first I was kind of upset thinking he had the wrong idea about the amount of pain medication I take. At one visit I remember him telling me that some time your pain medication can actually cause your pain to elevate if it is blocking another medication your taking. Then it dawned on me that he said to make sure and research the medication along with FM pain. Not just the drug name alone.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After researching this way I felt better about what I found and read. There were several studies and some patient reviews also. I can tell you I'm shocked at my own self for even trying this after trying 3 different drugs for FM treatment. Then some years later trying the Lyrica again. This was the second time I'd heard this information from Dr. C and he is my favorite doctor of all of them and I don't think he'd recommend the drug if he didn't think I'd get some results from it, even if small. The draw back is you cannot take it if you are taking a narcotic. Which means I have to get off of my pain medication before I can even try it. Just thinking about trying scared me to death. Everything I do revolves around my pain medication. What time I go somewhere, when I try and exercise, when I do any house work. I could go on and on.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Right about the time I was considering this option it was time for my 3 month check with my PM doctor. I talked to him about it and he was pretty positive about the medication too. I started to have a little hope. We discussed what was involved and how long it would take. He said if I wanted to do it the best way with the least withdrawals it would take about 2 months. He said towards the end my pain would definitely increase for a period of time then it would level off. A lot of patients who have taken a pain medication for a long period of time and get off find that if they make it through getting off they find their pain is not any worse than with it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So why would I do this then? For a long period of time I've hated that I have to take pain medication to get through my day. I hate the stigma that comes along with it. I hate how long I've been on it. I hate the side effects and the harm it's doing to my body long term.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My stimulator allowed me to cut back, but it doesn't work well enough alone. I can't say "it won't hurt to try" because if you've ever had to come off of a medicine you need to taper off of (not just a narcotic) you know how sick it can make you. If this other medication works for the FM then maybe, just maybe things will even out. I'm ok with not being any worse. Of course if it's Gods will that I get "real" relief then hooray. If not, I'm thankful to not feel worse for stopping the pain medications. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Back to our conversation....he asked me when I wanted to try and I told him that I'd like to get through the holidays then get started. After a few weeks passed and my husband and I talked about it more I decided I was ready to get started. Why wait? Maybe I could be done and better by Christmas. So I made the call last Thursday morning. I had an attitude going into it because I'm always complaining about the staff at that office. I really like my PM doctor but it is so hard to deal with his staff. Once I get to the back and I'm with him it's all good. I've threatened so many times to go somewhere else but it's just not that easy with my stimulator. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The nurse called me back about 3 that afternoon. I told her in detail what I wanted her to discuss with him for me. I told her if she had any questions it should be in my notes from my last visit because we talked about it. It was Thursday and he wouldn't be there Friday. She told me not to expect a call until Monday or Tuesday. So until Tuesday afternoon I was patient. After that, I was annoyed. So typical of this office. I called Wednesday am and left a message in case they weren't aware it was approaching a week I'd first asked for a return call. By 3 pm no call. I called back and talked to the front office. This lady was certainly honest. She told me they get a complaint every day regarding this matter. I asked her to leave my message personally to the doctor. She also said she would inform the office manager of what happened. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Today, still no call by 9 this morning. I decided to reach outside the office for help. It was a long shot, but I didn't care anymore this an important decision I'd made regarding my health and I felt like my doctor didn't care about ME at all. I text Mr. R and asked him if he happened to be working with my doctor that day. He called me an hour later and said he'd been in surgery all morning but not with my doctor. Mr. R told me he had no problem texting my PM doctors nurse and mention that he was setting up an appointment with me for reprogramming (this was true) and I mentioned the issue going on with them getting back with me. 15 minutes later I received a call from the nurse. "what can I help you with Ms. Theresa?", she asked me. Are you really serious? I left a detailed message with your co-worker (his other nurse) and a detailed message on your machine. She said the other nurse was working at another office this week and she really didn't know what I needed. As far as the message I left yesterday she looked in my chart and didn't see any notes about what I left the message about. I started crying and the next thing I knew my doctor was on the phone with me. My tears were real, but I'm here to tell you sometimes a few tears goes a long way. Don't be afraid to cry :-)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I did have to jog his memory and he remembered our discussion. We talked for about 15 minutes and he reminded me this wouldn't be easy either way I did it. He said my dose was low enough I could just quit cold turkey but I'd be down and out sick for 2 weeks. His exact words were "you'll feel like your dying" and I believe him. Or...we stretch it out slowly over 6 weeks. Same results but a lower levels each day. I will be completely off in 2 months. I'll be dealing with some intense pain he said but it should level off in a month or so to where I was when we started. As soon as I'm completely off I can start taking the new medication. I'm really anxious about this entire process. Who can put there life on hold?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I plan to try and keep you informed on how it's going. I hope to get through this without to much discomfort so I will feel like getting on my lap top and catching up. You wouldn't believe the emails I need to check. In October I have an appointment with Dr. C so I can get some encouragement from him if I need it. He's going to be glad to hear I've made the choice to at least give the medication a try. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wish me well and thanks for listening. I know some of my readers understand exactly where I am and what my experience will be like. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Living with HOPE (hold on pain ends)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Theresa</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-90810556016486751732014-08-31T21:50:00.001-05:002014-08-31T21:50:18.042-05:00Depression<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We've all heard about many movie stars taking their own life. Leaving behind grieving family, friends and fans. We commonly think, Wow...they had it all. What could possibly cause someone to want to take their own life? I have to say none have effected me the way the death of Robin Williams did. There are many differences between his life, mine and others who suffer from depression. One being how famous he was and the fact he made people laugh for a living. Oddly, though his life was different, we shared something in common.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Watching one of the many tributes to him on different television shows a clip was shown from an interview back some years ago when he had just been released from rehab. He talked about how this "voice" somehow always creeped back in to convince him he was not ok. That he was not happy no matter how grand his life appeared. It was a dark place. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He spent many years hiding his depression. I'm sure the alcohol was his go to drug to feel better. I know many people are thinking how could someone so comical, who brought people to tears with laughter, be sad? It's an evil thing that eats at you and as hard as you try and fight it, it seems to win over all the time. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> After hearing that it really hit home for me. I have my break downs in front of people sometime. I think most believe it's my sensitive or defensive side.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> At home, it's different. I am different. I don't have to put on a show or pretend on a grand scale so no one worries. I prefer to be alone and I've always thought it was ok until I understood I had depression. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A little "voice" eats at me all the time. It's always trying to convince me I have nothing to be happy about. That my life stinks and will never get better. I have plenty of friends who check on me now and again. I love my family and know they love, pray and care about me. When your battling depression, it's just not enough sometime. I've never thought about taking my life. However, I often think of what it would be like to be "normal" again. Whatever normal is? I really don't even know anymore. I've asked myself, "how much worse can it get? How much more can I take?" I never have an answer, but fight to convince myself it's a blessing from God everyday that we're here. Pain and depression. Deal with it. It really could be worse. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I prefer to be alone, than with a group of people. Why? Because then I don't have to pretend I'm happy and everything is hunky dory. I can't tell you how often I cry on my ride home. I hold it in as long as I can, then it just flows out. As much as I hate it, I think it's important to not hold it back. I hate being fake. I want to "really" be happy. That evil little "voice" convinces me every time that everyone else's life is better. I really know that is not true. I can name so many things to be joyful about. As hard and as deep as I dig I can't do it. I try to constantly pray about them and not dwell on the pain and depression. Somehow the depression wins over every time though. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's critical that you don't deny your depressed. It's like any other disease or addition. You have to own up to it and get help. You have to keep fighting. Sometimes I feel like I will be on antidepressants for the rest of my life. I've tried to get off and it's just a nightmare. If that's what it takes to keep on going I've accepted that. I don't like it, but it <i>is</i> what it <i>is</i>. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If your battling depression remember your not alone. There is so many resources to help you. It's important to fight that little voice telling you you can't beat it. Go where you have to go even if your dreading it. It's therapy and you don't know it. Seek professional help. If you don't like the first person you see, try another. You may think it's not helping. I still to this day think it's not helping, but don't want to know what it would be like if I wasn't going.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've made some decisions on my medications choices working carefully with my doctor. I'll tell you about that on my next post. I know, your thinking ...hum next month? It won't be. I'll will be home a lot more over the next month because of some of these changes I'm making. I will be updating as well after I get started. I have this small list of things I want to share. It's not that I don't have things to write about. It's about being comfortable sitting for a period of time with my computer. Writing here is just like avoiding conversations with friends. I have make myself open up and share. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">FYI; I'm slowly using up my GF food in my home. After 3 months I haven't felt any better. Last week end we celebrated my granddaughters 5th birthday and I have a piece of birthday cake and ice cream. I haven't had anything like cake for months. It had no effect on me at all. As I've slowly added back in regular foods I haven't noticed any difference either. I don't regret trying. I baked and made some new recipes I probably never would have tried if not. At least now I know. Another wishful thinking.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Enjoy your Labor Day</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"A" celebrating #5</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uVJnC-7kvQk/VAPcIL0xCaI/AAAAAAAAMNk/EmDuia74qw0/s1600/2014-08-12%2B13.00.36.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uVJnC-7kvQk/VAPcIL0xCaI/AAAAAAAAMNk/EmDuia74qw0/s1600/2014-08-12%2B13.00.36.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AJ one happy baby</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ju5Yu2QM3cY/VAPct6VvEkI/AAAAAAAAMNs/9P3YScCbvRE/s1600/IMG_7682.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ju5Yu2QM3cY/VAPct6VvEkI/AAAAAAAAMNs/9P3YScCbvRE/s1600/IMG_7682.png" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">P on his first day of K4</td></tr>
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<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Some movies we recently enjoyed you might want to see if you haven't</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1) Silver Lining playbook</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">2) Noah</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3) Three Days to Kill</span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-13274636588861791492014-07-18T11:30:00.001-05:002014-07-18T11:30:11.596-05:00In sickness and in health<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I hope everyone who reads my blog that is dealing with some sort of illness whatever it may be has a support system. There are a lot of things out there to help you. Like books, blogs, support groups, friends or maybe it's your spouse. Your spouse knows you like no one else. I mean, what your <i>really </i>like behind closed doors. Let's face it, I can only hold it together for so long in a day. Before I rattle on to much I want to point out I never mean for him to be the one to get all the punches. I'm not the same person he married. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Our story is sort of a Prince Charming-Cinderella story. I really don't want to get into my first marriage of 17 years to deeply but I have to point out that neither of us were happy for a lot of those years. We loved our children so dearly and that was the most we had in common. In the end I was just starting to have some minor trouble with my back. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">When I met my husband I was not looking for anyone to date. All my focus needed to be on supporting my kids the best way I knew how. Keeping them in our home was so important so we'd have a roof over our head. A female acquaintance asked me to have one date with him. I didn't think there was anyway I'd do a second date with him but I'd agreed to the first. We had nothing in common. I was just getting this girl off my back about it. I was so much against the date I met him somewhere. I was thinking I didn't want him to know where I lived if it didn't go well. (he already knew where I worked because that's where we met) </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">To my surprise the date was wonderful. In one night, he said more things I'd dreamed of someone saying to me or doing for me in the 17 years I was married. Even dating in high school. I always seemed to pick the guys who felt it wasn't necessary to do or say anything polite or respectful. I remember a date or two thinking "when is he going to stop acting so nice?" He mentioned one night how much I talked about my kids. I thought, well it's good you know how much they mean to me because they are my priority right now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Time went on and we dated for four years. His kindness and the way he treated me stayed the same. Every week end it felt like our first date. He continued to open my door, say how nice I looked, sent me flowers (a lot) and much more. For years I'd dreamed of what it must feel like to be treated that way and I was living it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Over time as my condition started to get worse he was right by my side at every appointment I went to. Every test. Every injection. Every decision we made together. He missed more time off work for me than for himself. I complained constantly about no answers and all the things that we'd planned to do together over the next few years and that seemed impossible now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm starting to believe that I met him for a different reason than I'd thought for years. I'd dreamed of having a man like him love me but then everything changed after we were finally married. It was almost 5 years to our first meeting. My pain and illnesses turned me into a different person. I am NOT the person he married. You know the old saying, God doesn't always answer our prayers the way we want. I believed he did put our chance meeting in place but I know it was for a different reason. Not many men could put up with me when I'm hurting at the levels I am sometime. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Many times I've said to him "I wish I could be the person you married". I want it for him, as much as for me. I've been so angry that he came into my life then I had to deal with this cross I'm carrying. Ugh....Why why why? Make it better. I'm always full of questions and either crying or mad. Mad as you know what. He's remains the same. Calm and cool and trying to keep me positive. His answer remains the same. He says, "in sickness and in health" and I mean it. That even makes me mad. Why can't he get mad too? I don't understand it. How can he just accept it. He'd never married and waited a long time as I for true love.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I thought for a long time that it's because he really couldn't possibly understand how bad I hurt at times. If he did, he couldn't just be so calm and act like it will all be good in time. God put him in my life for a reason. Not the one I thought for a long time but he knew D was the man to be able to handle me and support me at the same time. This brings me to an article he sent me recently. He put in the subject line "A good read". </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He sends me a lot of emails. So many that sometime I just ask him, what is _______ about? I don't have time to read it. This one caught my attention and as I read I thought this must be how he feels. This is why he puts up with me. He's told me as much.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> It's about a man having a conversation with a stranger he meets. The conversation of divorce. I'll let you read for yourself.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">If the link does not work, I apologize I'm not to good at that kind of thing. I would ask you to go to his blog "sunny skyz" and the post date is May 30th. I'm also putting on my goole+ page if that makes it easier. Interesting read as my husband said. Every married couple should read it. If my husband felt like the man Matt meets he would have left me a long time ago. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/277/He-Claims-His-Wife-Is-Not-The-Same-Woman-That-He-Married-You-Need-To-Read-This#Peb4j4xzXhPihZx4.01" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/<wbr></wbr>277/He-Claims-His-Wife-Is-Not-<wbr></wbr>The-Same-Woman-That-He-<wbr></wbr>Married-You-Need-To-Read-This#<wbr></wbr>Peb4j4xzXhPihZx4.01</a></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">By the way its raining cats and dogs her in Baton Rouge today. I have an appointment with Mr. R that was supposed to be yesterday so he's going to catch some flack from me because I have to get out in this. To update you from last post my injection is scheduled for the 28th. It seemed so far away and I was so disappointed. Now it's just a little over a week away. Please pray for me that it helps some. I'll take any amount of relief. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Samantha and Dana I'm praying for you. Please continue to stay in touch. Our support is so important to our well being. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Holding on to H.O.P.E. (hold on pain ends)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Theresa</span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-78888919864876254252014-07-09T23:11:00.000-05:002014-07-09T23:11:21.978-05:00Facing the truth<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">You've heard this before "Screaming on the inside, smiling on the outside", thats me. These past couple of weeks some things have come to light. Things deep in my heart that I know to be true but acting, away from this blog, they are fine. I still believe one day I'm going to be typing on here about some solution to my pain that I or some medical genius has discovered. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">When I saw Dr. C last Friday he asked me to try the Limbrel again. Why not try it once a day instead of twice and maybe it won't effect you the same? We decided on pm in case the dizziness returned it may wear off while I'm in bed overnight. I was game for that. I'm desperate. He also recommended I try adding some turmeric in my diet. It had been brought to my attention by my friend who convinced me to try the gluten free. So now my favorite Dr. is recommending so why not? He told me to do some research and find the best way to use it. Just adding it as a spice to my food would be helpful. My friend however had encouraged me to go the smoothie route using the root form. I found a recipe for making a tea with it. Since I love herbal teas anyway I chose that option. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">I've had several really tough days where I could barely get out of bed. I made it to the kitchen and hurt so bad from head to toe I was sick like with the flu. I tried to figure it out like always. For once I think I finally did. It was that nasty thing called "Fibromyalgia". I'm finally starting to accept and understand how it works. If I do something just a little bit out of my range it punishes me the following day. This was very hard to manage being that I've pushed my limits for years. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">My psychologist changed my antidepressant last month. Something that is supposed to help with anxiety and FM pain too. I've really been beating myself up the last couple of weeks trying to figure out why I keep feeling so bad no matter what I do. I've been Gluten Free for 2 months. I'm drinking the turmeric tea, drinking ACV, back on the Limbrel, using my stimulator day and night, using multiple over the counter creams and wearing my patches again even though I argue they are too expensive and don't work. I've been so angry. At who? Everyone who don't take care of their self and feel just fine. I recently overheard a man talking about his grandfather and how he ate fatty meat, drank the hard stuff, smoked since he was a teenager, never exercised a day in his life, overweight and is still going strong at 90 something. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">That's all I can seem to focus on. Does he know how lucky he is? Why am I doing everything right, but can't seem to get any better? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Monday morning I decided to get aggressive with getting some relief. I called my PM doctor, which means I left a message with the nurse, and pleaded to let me try an injection again. I'm desperate. A lot has changed since I've tired in the past. I didn't get a return call until that evening and of course the doctor was already gone. "I'll talk to him tomorrow" Seriously? Then she proceeded to inform me the next day they'd be in another town so I probably wouldn't hear back until Wednesday. Oh, no problem. I have the rest of my life. Excuse my attitude but I'm so tired of dealing with the health care system. Do you think I heard from them today? No I didn't. I was dealing with another doctor today so I didn't even call and complain. Oh, but I will tomorrow morning.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">I started thinking about how my pain increased around the time we changed my antidepressant medicine. Could this have anything to do with it? Again...I'm desperate. I had to call for a refill on something the previous psychologist had me on and I didn't notice had 0 refills until I went to call in the refill. I asked to talk to the doc since I was on the phone with them anyway. The receptionist said she'd return my call as soon as possible. Well, you know what my attitude was on that. By the time my husband was home from work I hadn't heard from either doctor! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Surprised, my psychologist called me around 6:15. We started to talk and I had a complete melt down on the phone with her. All my frustrations came out. She pointed out to me that sometime an antidepressant helps with pain on such a small scale that you don't even realize it. When we changed it it's possible that I had an increase in pain overall. If it wasn't working as well on my anxiety too that could effect things. This particular drug was supposed to target patients with FM pain. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">We decided together until I see her in two weeks to start back on what I was taking previously since I had some on hand. If I notice my pain decreases a little we may increase the dosage on it. If nothing changes she said we will try another she had in mind before we tried the one I started last month. She wanted to review my genetic testing again before making any final decisions. I'm ok with her decisions. At least I feel like something is being done. I'm scared of "no" change more than "change" at this time. It has to get better than this. I've come to far and tired so many things. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">As far as my PM doctor I'll be calling them again tomorrow. It's terrible that two months in a row I've not been able to get them to return my call. I'd love to get out of his practice. I like him and the doctor I saw there before he did my implant but they have become this huge practice that hustle people in and out like cattle. They go to a different town every day. My fear is where will I go? No other PM doctor will want to treat another doctors SCS patient. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">It's also time to see Mr. R. The 16 programs I have, have been good to me. I was only using a few, but they kept changing every few weeks. Now I can't seem to get one to keep me comfortable. I was putting off until I got some of these other issues resolved but it can't wait now. For his sake...I hope he's reachable. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">I'm just so tired of feeling bad. I can come here and complain all I want and not feel bad about it. I'm sorry to say that beside a few family members ( like my daughter and my husband ) I've pretty much shut everyone else out. Just because...I have nothing nice to say right now. I'm pretty good at faking it but I just can't right now. I'm so tired, so worn. A close friend left me a message last week and said she was sorry for being a bad friend and not checking on me. She asked me to call her back so we could catch up and I feel awful that I haven't. She's not the bad friend, I am.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">I guess that's enough venting. No sleep doesn't help things either. I want to try and stay with my closing I've been using. Having HOPE. ( Hold on pain ends) My hands are slipping.... It's so hard right now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Holding on tightly.....gentle hugs</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Theresa</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-69251800959811189932014-06-17T23:24:00.000-05:002014-06-18T14:22:29.957-05:00New News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If I pick up where I left off I'd share that I love my new psychologist. She is a lot different than who I was seeing. I liked her though, that's very important for someone who will be prescribing you medication that can change your total attitude and nature. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She had a drug in mind at the end of our session that she thought she'd really like me to try. UGH...I hate coming off of antidepressants. It's always so scary. Not to mention I'd just had this awful experience with the Limbrel that was still slightly present. She went into discussion of why she was considering this medication. As I left she wanted me to just take my current medication and she'd call me the next day with her decision. She wanted to review my genetic testing. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On Tuesday she called as promised but had something else in mind she wanted me to take. I have to say I was disappointed at first because I'd done some reading the night before. For the first time I liked what I read and even the patient reviews were good. Those can really scare you. D does not like for me to read all of that. I had to trust her judgement though. Dr. L's notes mentioned that she was considering me trying this medication and she agreed it seemed to fit my needs based on her notes and genetic testing notes. The good news was she had the first month in samples for me. My husband went by and picked it up for me and the journey started. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OMG !! I shouldn't have read the reviews on this one. Maybe 1 out of every 10 was positive but 9 negative with a lot of side effects. The next day I started tapering down on the Viibryd and started the new one. Two days of 20 then up to 40. Today was the last day of the Viibryd. It hasn't been to bad. Not sure the side effects I'm feeling are from coming off one or starting the new one. This new one has only been on the market since the fall of 2013 so I'm a little nervous about that. My new doctor likes that it helps with chronic pain. Like Savella, Cymbalta, and Lyrica all of which I've tried. Maybe, just maybe this is the one with the perfect balance. Pain, depression and anxiety. Supposed to cover all of this. What a wonder drug if it does! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday was my annual eye exam except it was a little later than annual. I just can't seem to stay out of a doctor office so there are a couple I scheduled out during the year even though I was due to go at the end of the year. I have to see the dermatologist next month. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been telling my husband that I had a feeling my prescription for my glasses would change. Seems every time I go in my eyes are worse. She said around age 60 they will level out and should stop changing. Not urgent. I can wait a few months and just call in when I'm ready. After my eyes had reached the point they were dilated enough she seemed to spend more time than usual looking and studying. After she was done she talked to me about <i>Fuchs Dystrophy. </i>The good news is that I come for my annual exam so we caught it right away. I was kind of in a fog as she explained about the disease, causes, symptoms and worst case scenario. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wow, I sat in my car feeling like every time I go to the doctor they tell me something is wrong. I think I will stop going. I know that's not the answer but right now I'm still in the "why me" & "don't I have enough" stage. I'll be past it soon. I don't stay there long, but it's something I have to go through. My way of dealing I guess. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fuchs Dystrophy, no matter how you look at it, has no good end. It's a slowly progressing corneal dystrophy that usually effects both eyes and is more common in women. It rarely effects vision until people reach their 50's and 60's. I'm 7 months from knocking down that door! Symptoms may include:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Blurred vision on awakening that may gradually clear up as the day goes on.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Other types of visual impairment, including distorted vision, sensitivity to light, difficulty seeing at night and seeing halos around lights.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eye discomfort..</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Painful tiny blisters on the surface of cornea-caused by excess fluid within the cornea.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A cornea that is cloudy or hazy in appearance</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Blindness-may occur late in the disorder.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Treatment involves in early stages topical hypertonic saline, the use of a hairdryer to dehydrate the precorneal tear film, and therapeutic soft contact lenses. Definitive treatment however is surgical in form of corneal transplantation. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At this point I stopped reading. I don't want to know or understand anymore right now. My progressive change in vision is not related to the Fuchs Dystrophy.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gluten Free is going well. I want to mention because there has been some talk in the news of GF being unhealthy if you eat too much of the same thing over and over and not getting in enough veggies.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0sERlxSQQ5o/U6EJkW33e6I/AAAAAAAAL3Y/Q9qE1wvrUgI/s1600/2014-06-09+17.07.25.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0sERlxSQQ5o/U6EJkW33e6I/AAAAAAAAL3Y/Q9qE1wvrUgI/s1600/2014-06-09+17.07.25.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kind Bars....very good GF</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p7yD1CKx1Vg/U6EJkooh06I/AAAAAAAAL3c/b9hPbtbrjhU/s1600/2014-06-09+17.33.50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p7yD1CKx1Vg/U6EJkooh06I/AAAAAAAAL3c/b9hPbtbrjhU/s1600/2014-06-09+17.33.50.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">scrambled egg with veggies, GF shell with salsa</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A couple things I discovered that are good. The Kind bars are tasty. I try to just have one occasionally. They are expensive at some places like health food stores but Albertson's carry them. They regular price is still cheaper than HFS. I recently caught a sale on them for .81 cents. Thats why you see a box of them! I never eat breakfast for breakfast. Honestly I hardly like any breakfast foods. I do however like scrambled eggs for supper. I decided one night to jazz them up and put in a GF wrap add a little salsa and it was awesome. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At least 2-3 nights I've been stuck on jasmine rice with saute bell peppers and onions, grilled chicken and broccoli all tossed together. Guess what I add for some spice? Yes your right, some salsa!</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gm4T-QBHjnU/U6EPZ-yHsJI/AAAAAAAAL3s/CODe6hl3QyQ/s1600/20140527_172723.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gm4T-QBHjnU/U6EPZ-yHsJI/AAAAAAAAL3s/CODe6hl3QyQ/s1600/20140527_172723.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jasmine rice, broccoli, bell pepper and onions </td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thats all I have folks. I'm processing this new news and really can't wrap myself around anything else. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Enjoy the rest of your week and I wish you peaceful and painless days.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God Bless,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Theresa</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-62730621946873064292014-06-09T00:30:00.000-05:002014-06-09T00:30:00.020-05:00My two week pity party<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I changed my mind three times for the title of this post. I saw some hope and once again feel defeated....</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two weeks ago tomorrow it dawned on me that I was supposed to stop taking any NSAIDS until my scope that was scheduled for that Friday the 30th. Great, day one tomorrow of a week of hell. I just didn't know how I was going to deal without my "extra" help. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sunday wasn't to bad because I tried not to do anything more than I had to. The following day was Memorial Day and D had grilled the day before so I didn't even have to cook. I'd really started to dive into my gluten free change. I had very little left in the house of mine that would be a "no-no". I was pretty set for the week. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tuesday I went to my daughters house as usual to watch the grandkids. I got through it. I'm usually pretty beat when I leave but my pain level was pretty up there this day. Each day seemed harder and harder. I did everything I could to get through without the ibuprofen and not increase the pain medicine. More creams, increased stimulation and a lot of praying. In the end it caused a flare up that was out of control and guess who came to visit...yeah my friends the hives.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thursday evening came around and I was so relieved it was over. Try and sleep tonight, take the test tomorrow and get some answers. I always believe before <i>every</i> appointment or test I'm going to get an answer. The same answer I've wanted to know for years. No different news about this text. Pictures looked the same as last year. That part is good, but the fact that my symptoms are much worse are not. He said absolutely no more ibuprofen. I'm crushed! What about cutting back I asked him? He said, "well, you could take 1 TID" I seriously thought he was joking. I take 4 at a time. I was thinking more along the lines of taking the 4 once a day instead of twice.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My mind drifts back to the Limbrel that my PM doctor wanted me to try. I tell the gastroenterologist about it and he agrees it's a great option to try. So I take my first dose when we get home with my coffee I missed earlier that am. I had another prescription to pick up that day so I discussed how to take the Limbrel with my pharmacist. I was thinking it was like the ibuprofen and you have to wait 2 hours between it and pain medicine. She let me know it doesn't work like pain medicine and not to get my hopes up to get relief instantly. If it works it will be an overall reduction in pain scale by reducing some of my inflammation. She said it won't make me feel better, then ware off like the pain medicine. So when I returned home I was glad to know I didn't have to wait two hours to take my pain medicine. It was almost lunch time and I was just taking my morning regime of medication. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's supposed to work best on an empty stomach so I wanted to do my best to try and take it that way. By my second dose that night I was so nauseated :/(</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Please God, let this be temporary. One of the side effects but should pass quickly. Not taking with food will help your body absorb better. It continued most of the week. Wearing off a little each day. Finally by Thursday I was past it almost completely. Then the bombshell hit...I went to bed that night and shortly after lying down starting feeling as if the bed was spinning. Ok, this was weird. What in the world is different. It continued to get worse and keep me from sleeping. I took out my pain/medicine journal and started to study. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I got up Friday morning and when my feet hit the floor I felt so dizzy I went right back down. It was so weird to me I'd never really experienced dizziness like this. Both times I tried Lyrica I though I was dizzy but now I'd call that "light headed". More like a brain fog or brain zaps. My eyes twitched with that medication also. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had a friend coming over to visit and wasn't by any means canceling my plans. My car was in the shop and I was stuck home anyway so I tried not to let it get me down. I told myself hey, your not going anywhere today anyhow so couldn't be a better day to happen to you. It will pass and be over.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of my friend, One of the things I love about her is she has no problem calling me and saying, "hey are you free this week I want to come visit?". Perfect day for her to come since I was at home and even though I was feeling pretty weird having her here kept my mind off of the dizziness and my worry of why? It actually lightened a lot for some time but then later in the afternoon right about the time D got home I had to get still and recline in my chair. I still took my evening dose of the Limbrel and I could tell after that the swaying, spinning and nauseas feelings returned with a vengeance. Ugh...this can't be happening. Please tell me it's not the medication. If it isn't though, what is it? I really need this medicine to help me and to not make me have new problems. After another rough night Friday night and barley able to get around Saturday am I was really getting down about this.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who can I call on a Saturday? Ah..my pharmacist. I love her. She knows my husband and I both and I can talk to her about most anything. I let her know what was going on and she recommended I get something over the counter for nausea because that usually helps with dizziness also. She recommended I try some Bonine until I talk to the doctor on Monday. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> She said there was a possibility it may not even be the Limbrel. It may be vertigo she said. I don't know what would be worse to not be able to use the Limbrel or deal with treating Vertigo? We talked about how I'd recently started swimming again. Maybe I had some water in my middle ear she suggested? Maybe this, maybe that. Try this and call your doctor Monday. The most she could do for me. She's not a doctor after all she reminded me. She could see the disappointment. I couldn't hide it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had taken the morning dose and decided on my own to skip the night dose. At 1am I was finally able to lay my head down and try to sleep. Even the Bonine was not helping at all. I'd decided I'd rather start over if I have to because it's the only way I see to know if that's what's causing the trouble. Sunday morning I was so exhaused from the previous two nights lack of sleep. I pushed my way though a epson soak hoping to detox some of the medication out of my system and I was really adding to the large amount of water I drink.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wish I could explain how I was feeling. I tried telling my husband. He said he understood but I know he didn't. What's new with me not feeling good? It's always something. I am a fighter though. I was so sick of feeling sick that I wasn't spending another day stuck in my house feeling like I had to hang around the bath room and hold on to the walls. I got dressed and made myself to to the store. I think I know how a drunk person feels driving now. Don't know how I got there but I did and I was ok. Felt good to get out of the house. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It wasn't until 5 this evening I seemed to feel better. Matter of fact I had went out side and realized I was watering and doing ok. I decided to get in the pool and walk around a few laps. It went very well surprisingly. Could this be over? But what does that mean? I can't take the Limbrel? That really stinks. Guess I will wait to talk to him when he calls instead of making conclusions. Maybe I can try the lower dose of 250. I asked my pharmacist if maybe eating with it may be helpful. She said that is not a side effect that would change from eating with food. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I wait...like usual. On them to see what they say. I'm expecting to hear it mostly like was the Limbrel causing or why would it have cleared up over the past two days. If it continues to stay clear guess I know for sure. Like I said above, I really needed this medicine to work for me but I push myself though a lot with my back already hurting. I guess if I can't take it just wasn't meant to be. Worse case i'll take the ibuprofen anyway. At this point I'm just looking forward to sleeping good tonight and waking up feeling "normal" for me.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my new psychologist. Third one. I really like the previous one but she retired to be with her daughter in another state having her first grandchild. I guess I can't hold that against her. I just hope this therapist and I connect and have the same relationship I did with Dr. L. I have a lot of questions for her. None pertaining to any of my issues from this week end. She doesn't prescribe that medication for me. I plan to ask her to try and wean off of some of my others if she thinks I am ready. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank God for my stimulator and it working so much better than it used to. I couldn't tolerate what I do without it. Some parts of my post may not seem right as far as time lines and days. I tried multiple times to write but many things were out of the question with the dizziness. Reading, watching TV, checking email, walking around in the pool. Very simple things I couldn't do. It was so frustrating. Tomorrow is a new day. If I can't take the medicine I accept that. I just hope it doesn't come back. I have no idea what my treatment for inner ear problems or whatever vertigo treatment is.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Struggling to keep up H.O.P.E.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Theresa</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Morning Prayer to start your day.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I will this day live a simple, sincere and serene life; repelling promptly every thought of impurity, discontent, anxiety, fear, and discouragement. I will cultivate health, cheerfulness, happiness, charity and the generosity in giving, carefulness in conversation and diligence in appointed service. I pledge fidelity to every trust in a childlike faith in God. I will be faithful in exercise, deep breathing and good posture. Eat only healthy foods and get sufficient sleep each night. I will make every effort to improve myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually every day of my life. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-9307634186784978142014-05-20T21:23:00.000-05:002014-05-20T21:23:19.715-05:00The road to Gluten Free<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This journey to learn about being Gluten Free has been very interesting. I ordered two books (after much research) that I thought would be easy to read, full of information on getting started and helping me determine if I may be gluten sensitive or not. I've already finished one and half way through the second. It can be overwhelming if you let it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to at least do it for 30 days and see if I can tell a difference or not. I saw my PM doctor this morning and discussed with him. He tired to let me down easy. ( he could see the excitement in my eyes ) He was honest with me about patients who have told him they thought they found the answers to all their ailments only to be let down with no changes. He said it definitely can't hurt me to try he just didn't want me to believe it cures everything it claims to. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We talked about my upcoming scope and my struggles with the reflux and gastritis. He asked me if I ever tired a medication called Limbrel 500. Matter of fact I had. Unfortunately, not for long enough to tell if it would work or not. Not covered by insurance full price was in the $200 range. Limbrell is a medical food and works by reducing swelling and providing pain relief. At the time I was using only NSAIDS for pain relief. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> This was pre back surgery in 2009. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> My rheumatologist was hoping this would work better for me. I haven't been approached or thought of trying it again since that time. I'm game though. I do however want to talk to my rheumatologist and GP to make sure it is ok with everything else I take. I totally trust and respect my PM doctor, but prefer to have another opinion on adding this to my list of medications. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another concern I have is starting this medication and starting to remove gluten from my diet at the same time. If I get some relief I can't be sure which one it is. Another reason I want another opinion from my rheumatologist on both aspects. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I made the call to WW's today to cancel my subscription. I have use of the online tools until next Tuesday the 27th. I want to take some notes and jot down some recipes I've seen that may still come in handy. I mentioned the books. The second one I'm really into right now is simplified and complicated at the same time. She breaks in into sections to read what you thing you need to know. If you want more info it is there for you but the basics are in the beginning of each section to get you started. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each day I get more into the book I discover something else I live and deal with that could be caused by a sensitivity to gluten. One of the things she gets into that she welcomes you to pass over if you think it doesn't pertain to you is readers with ADD/ADHD, Autism and Mood/Behavior. She believes there is a possible relationship between Autism and Gluten Sensitivity. Why food affects mood. I was surprised yesterday with an expert on Dr. Oz going over a 3 question quiz to help you decided if you should be tested for ADD/ADHD. In the end he stated another thing that should be tried is going gluten free. He'd been diagnosed long ago and recently tried removing gluten from his diet. He said his brain is much calmer and he never felt better. An added bonus he was happy about was that he lost same weight along the way.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's almost as after my little let down at my PM doctor visit I really needed to hear another professional say it's worth a try. The import thing is I keep an open mind and don't get my hopes up to much yet another time only to be disappointed that this is not the answer to being free from chronic pain either. Some real work and studying is being put into me getting ready for this. If anyone tells you "it's no big deal" or "it's so easy", in my opinion. they are wrong. If you plan to do it correctly with no short cuts or cheating you have homework my friends and readers. I'm determined to at least get through 30 days and see how I feel. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is a list of some of the things related to gluten sensitivity or Celiac Disease</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Allergies</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fogginess</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bone and or Joint Pain</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fatigue</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fibromyalgia </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Depression, irritability, listlessness and anxiety</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trouble with Glycemic Index</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Acid Reflux </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dermatitis Herpetiformis </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This list continues on with plenty more. These are just a few that relate to myself.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lastly for this post, my children (grown up children) gave me the absolutely perfect gift for Mothers Day. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A Pandora bracelet! I was SO surprised. I can't wait to start adding to it. I've already made a trip to the mall to get a book to make a wish list. I'm a huge bracelet fan. I always have one on. Not much on necklaces, but always a bracelet. Even when I'm dressed down I just don't feel right without one. I'm happy to know they have plenty dangle choices. I had no trouble finding ones I liked.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'd like to say hello to a reader who just went through her trial with a SCS. She had some really nice things to say about reading my blog. God Bless her for reading though my bore and complaints. In some way it was helpful and that is my entire purpose. Best Wishes to you and I'm here for you anytime you have any questions or just need some support. Hang in there. Better days are ahead Dana</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Full of H.O.P.E (hold on pain ends)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-824887912282978822014-05-09T23:37:00.002-05:002014-05-09T23:55:05.116-05:00Time for a Change<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In past years I've been very successful with following the WW's plan. I've always met my goal weight and kept it off for a good period of time. Things like medications and pain restricting my exercise for periods of time let me slowly gain it back. My latest issue has been a medication I was taking for the fibromyalgia. I've been off since the beginning of April but I'm in a rut. I'm stuck on weight I started at back when I started WW's in the fall. I was 2 pounds from my goal weight when I started the medication and slowly climbed up to where I started and stayed there every since.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've taken into a lot of factors. I've increased the dosage of my antidepressant from 20 to 40 ( under advise of my psychologist ). She said the increase could also be effecting my weight. I'm also aware that the older you get the harder it becomes to loose weight. It's always been pretty easy for me. I have a lot of will power so sticking to the plan has been easy. So imagine being super strict and you get NO results. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One thing I'm really thrilled about is I've been back in the pool now for two weeks. The water temp has been awesome. I've started slow with walking first. This week I did some water jogging. Increasing time a little each day. It's just unbelievable how my back pain just disappears when I step into the pool. With that in mind I have to really be careful. I did a lot of stretching the first day and I was so so sore the following day. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Speaking of stretching, the bursitis in my shoulder has greatly improved since I've been getting in the pool. It's really hard to do the PT stretches they asked of me. I'm a very compliant patient because I want to be better. However, sometime it's just so painful I cheat and cut the reps or time I spend. In the pool I've been able to do it mostly pain free.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Back to my title "time for a change". What am I planning? I've been doing a lot of research on becoming gluten free. One of the things that attracts me to the idea more than weight loss it is really supposed to help with inflammation. I've tried so many things to help with that. Inflammation is one of my biggest culprits. In my research I read you loose weight also. If that happens, great. My biggest hope it that I will just feel better. I'll take 50% better. The fibromyalgia has really had me beat. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here is my plan...I have a book I plan to pick up and hopefully read before the end of month. ( saw on Dr. Oz ) Continue to research what I can and can't have. I want to slowly start buying the things I need a little at a time. My WW's plan ends at the end of the month and I hopefully will be ready to get started on a Gluten Free diet. I figure even if it doesn't work for my pain maybe I will loose a few pounds. If I don't loose any weight but start to feel better that would be the BEST outcome. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have a friend who is gluten free that I spent some time with this past week end and she was in a car accident a while back. Days later she started having a lot of neck pain. After getting checked out at the doctor she discovered she had to bulging discs in her neck. A period of time when by when she couldn't get the pain level down with PT and home care and they put her on pain medication. She is a health nut so that didn't go over well. Even though she was hurting bad enough to take it she told me there was not way she was just going to continue to take it and mask the pain. Like me, she could tell she had a lot of inflammation in the area. That's how she got started. Within a couple of weeks she didn't need the pain medicine at all and she's feeling so much better overall. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'll share with you two things I've started doing as a "pre prep" to start some healthy habits.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1)Some time back I mentioned my new obsession with coconut oil. I've been using in cooking, popping homemade popcorn and baking. I knew about benefits of using as a replacement for other fats and a lot of uses for it. What I'd never looked at was the benefits of ingesting coconut oil. There are plenty I could tell you about but if your interested just goggle. It's all there. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I mentioned to my friend and she said she put in her coffee every morning. That was one of the ways I read about. I gave it a try and I loved it. There is an adjustment for a few cups because you can SEE the oil. I loved it though because it made my lips so moisturized. I usually put powder creamer in my coffee but read it helps to use milk ( I don't like anything cold in my coffee) and it helps make it creamer. The second cup I used a little almond milk in place of the creamer. I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk so it didn't add any sweetness to the coffee. It's a new and exciting thing at breakfast! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">2)She also told me about the benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar. Another that there are plenty of....but like the coconut oil ingestion google it. I dont' mind sharing but don't want to keep this post going on and on. The main one I tried is for detox. As part of balancing the body's PH apple cider vinegar creates an overall detoxification of the body. Research shows that it can help stimulate cardiovascular circulation and help detoxify the liver. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Another that caught my eye the aid in weight loss. For daily weight management add 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar to 16 oz of water. You can sip throughout the day or just drink all at once. I added juice from half a lemon to cut down on the acidic taste. With that added it tasted like lemon water with a taste of apple. Enjoyable and good for you. I drink two glasses of lemon water a day anyway so it wasn't like I really had to make a big change with this one. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm hoping trying gluten free may help my hives go away. I must say it's been the best year ever for the reduction of appearances. Unfortunately, they've still been around. Especially on days when my pain level is up or I'm having some really bad break though pain. The week after returning from the cruise was the worst flare up I'd had all year. In reading the benefits of the Apple Cider Vinegar it didn't mention hives ( at least on the sties I viewed )</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">but it did talk about the benefits if you have allergies. I'm always hopeful.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I could use to see Mr. R for an adjustment but I have several programs that I'm really pleased with. I seldom turn it off anymore. When I go to bed I just turn it down really low. In the first year I'd try that but it would wake me up when it would come on and off. I think because it's in a better place now it's more comforting than disturbing. I'm having to charge my battery every couple of weeks. A huge difference from the first year to year and a half.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have a follower who recently had a SCS implanted. I started following her blog and I hear myself in her writing in the beginning months after surgery. ( She's a better writer and much more positive) I'd just like to say to her not to be to discouraged in the first year. I'm sure your doctors have told you but the longer you heal the less movement you get in the stimulation. It also means you have to have less frequent adjustments. Both of my scars are still tender to some degree. The area in my spine where the paddle leads are placed always stays somewhat sore. There is a little "connecter so to speak" that sends the leads out to the IPG (battery) and it's like a bump or knot in the lower back area of my spine. Some days if I lean against something hard it reminds me it's there. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As far as my battery site I've excepted it is what it is. The revision surgery we did a year ago helped so much. A smaller battery and going deeper helped it to not protrude so much so it's less sensitive. I still need a cushion everywhere I go but I'll take that any day over a wheel chair. I remain certain I made the right decision in having a Spinal Cord Stimulator placed. My pain is still there but the stimulator does help relieve it and help me from taking the amount of pain medication I once needed. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dallas is doing amazing. He had a successful surgery. They completely removed the tumor and stalk that was attached to it. There were three arteries coming from the stalk. She cut and tied all off. That is where all the bleeding was coming from. This past Monday he had his stitches removed and seems almost fully healed. He came a long way from having 3 months to live to a surprising recovery. The lab results showed the tumor to be something called Eosinophilic cystitis. Very rare but the few number of cases they've seen has been with dogs that previously had a bladder stone. Yeah, we're so happy he'll be around some time longer. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you have any advice or tips for me on my plan to move gluten free, I welcome it. I'm pretty nervous about being prepared. Not about "what will I eat" but will "I have what I need?". I've found a great web site to refer to and my gluten free friend has told me of several sites that will be helpful to me. Wish me luck. As with this and my daily struggle of coping with chronic pain I have H.O.P.E.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Happy Mothers day !!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gentle Hugs, Theresa</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Poppa & Nonna at AJ's dedication day</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The whole gang</td></tr>
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My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-92192375793948650662014-04-19T22:46:00.001-05:002014-04-19T22:46:47.470-05:00No place like home<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, I made it back safe and sound. I won't say I returned rested and relaxed by no means. I'll take safe and sound first anyhow. I knew before we left sleep would be an issue for me. I have trouble getting it at home in my own bed. For to many years I've been awake all night away from home not able to sleep. I had my psychologist prescribe me 5 Ambien in case of desperation. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's an awful medicine to get off of if you take to long, my opinion, so I swore I'd never use it again. Never say never. The first night the weather was terrible. We had a balcony stateroom so you could hear all noises outside in the ocean. It was the first time I'd been on a floor that high. ( because of balcony) You notice the rocking of the ship a lot more on deck 9. Thank goodness there was only one other night of bad weather. I was pretty scared and not ashamed to admit it. My mom was out enjoying herself that first night and at 2 am my anxious self was still wide awake when she came in. Yes, I'd taken the ambien. Even after she was in I still couldn't relax and sleep. Lets just say she makes a little noise when sleeping. Like my dear husband, but a little louder. The first night was pretty rough and I was glad to see the morning come. I got approximately 3-4 hours sleep and my body was not happy with me for it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Each night was some battle. My mother worried about me so much she purposely stayed out one night hoping I'd get some sleep. Unfortunately, I don't sleep on demand. Kind of like a day time nap. No matter how tired, my body just refuses. By Wednesday night I'd come up with putting my ear pieces in my ears instead of just resting my phone on the side of my pillow. ( using the pink noise app) When I did go to sleep this helped drown out any noises in the room. Yes, there were others. A creaking door that lead to connecting staterooms. Our noisy guests next door. They really didn't care what time it was to go out on the balcony and make noise and celebrate. Next cruise, if there is one, I'll request to be in between two elderly couples. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"The Pearl" Our ship is behind, a little bigger "The Spirit"</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Outside of the sleep issue we enjoyed ourself. The food was wonderful. Hard decisions on where and what to eat. So many options to do it was hard to choose each night. One night before a show we went to game show at a night club. The band played a snip it from a television series theme and you had to take a guess and write it down. The crowd was in groups and very competitive. I surprised myself at how many I knew. Turns out many of the 25 were from when I was little so I knew the answer. My mom recognized the music but didn't know the name being she didn't really see the programs. Some of them were: The Brady Bunch, The Adams Family, Green Acres, Bonanza, The Pink Panther, The Odd Couple and The Rockford Files to name a few. That was fun. Another lady with us was really into it and got so excited with everyone we had right. You'd swear our prize was a million dollars.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Every night there was some sort of excellent entertainment in the "Stardust Theater" On the Monday night we saw a comedian who had our jaws hurting he was so funny. I haven't laughed that hard in some time. There was an act of two Russians, ( male and female ) who were amazing. I don't know if they were lovers, but they sure seemed to be. It was a beautiful, death defying romantic performance. I won't bore you with every night. It was well worth your time to go an see. The only down side was we had to really get there early to get a seat at the end of an isle. The theater held a lot of guests but it was one long isle. You know, where there is no way for someone to pass unless you stand up? It's quite and effort sometime for me to get up out of those types of chairs. I didn't care if I had to sit at the top. It was worth it to not climb over people and to stand up and stretch any time I felt like it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My friends and family are very familiar with my cushion I carry around everywhere with me. It made it all over that cruse ship and back home. If only it could talk....</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After a show one night they had a chocolate lovers buffet. There is not one thing chocolate they didn't have. Cheese cake, any and every kind of cake. Chocolate sculptures. Chocolate covered things! It was a sight to see. The only down side was the time of night. It was late. I really can't have caffein after lunch much less at 10:45 at night. That's ok, my mom enjoyed for both of us. Love you mom. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I would say one of my moms favorite things was listening to music. She loves to hear a live band and loves to dance. She even got up on stage with one female singer she befriended and the lead singer officially titled her as her "back up dancer". My mom got a huge round of applause after. I took a few pictures during then I took off before the song was over in case my mom came towards me. Hee hee.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Seriously I'm just joking. She loved it and I loved seeing her enjoy herself. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mom's new friend</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Proud Mary"</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Another thing the two of us enjoyed was a massage. I went first and she had hers a couple hours following me. We had the same massage therapist and she was great. I've never been disappointed with a massage on a cruise. This was my third time cruising and my third time meeting a wonderful person who taught me something. They had a steam room to use and I definitely made use of it everyday, but once. It really helped with the bursitis and fibro pain. Oh how I miss going to the one at the "Y". It feels so awesome when you leave. If you've never tried it, please do. It's great for muscle and joint pain, to release toxins and leave your skin looking good. I'm sure there are many other benefits. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We got off of the boat on three different occasions. My mom and I were a good pair for shopping because neither of us can make it very long. We were usually ready to return around the same time.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">At every port we met interesting people and had good conversation. It was the same on the boat. Every night we met someone new and then would end up seeing them again. I met a couple the first day who were on their honeymoon and I saw them most everyday. With 2500 passengers you wouldn't expect it, but it happened. He had been on quite a few cruises but it was her first. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">goofing off in Costa Maya</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">During dinner at one of the nicer restaurants we met an interesting couple who'd seem to done a lot of traveling. They had some interesting stories to share On the other side of us were two nice gentlemen who were just as pleasant and joined us in our conversations. Made for an interesting dinner night. We only seemed to meet and spend time with very friendly people. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, shows, karaoke, dancing or site seeing. We didn't run across anyone who wasn't kind to us. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At dinner one night</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With all that said, I still couldn't be happier to step foot on the port of New Orleans. Check my passport and let me out of here. I miss my hubby and my family. I haven't been that happy to see him in some time. I guess it's good to get away from your spouse sometime to really appreciate them. Of course the baby at home really missed me too. Dallas. I'll update you on him next post. He has a surgery coming up in two weeks. I didn't sleep much the first night home, but I will say the second night I was sleeping at 11pm and did not wake up until 9:45 am. VERY unusual for me. I sure needed it. I can't tell you the last time I had that much sleep. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm struggling with fibromyalgia pain at intense levels. Hence my outbreak of hives since I've been home. It made two weeks yesterday that I've been off of the Lyrica. I'm not sure how I'll continue to keep going without it. The good news is my stimulator is still in check. I believe I'm setting a record for myself now on time between adjustments. I'd never have survived the cruise without it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Speaking of my stimulator, as a fellow blogger who recently stated, you get to cut the line when passing through the zapper. (that's what I call it) I had my card out to show them and they barely looked at it. He just waved me on over and patted me down. On the boat, as we got on and off at various ports, it was even easier. I flashed the card and they just had me bypass. No patting. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm praying for a blessed Easter Sunday for everyone. Don't over do it please. You know the following day is really the one that kills you. I'm thankful to be home. I'm thankful for my life, my family and friends. I'm also thankful for the support of the above and my readers. Your emails and own blogs inspire me to keep on keeping on sometime. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">God Bless.....</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Full of H.O.P.E. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Theresa</span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-73912005556109518842014-04-01T21:35:00.000-05:002014-04-03T20:47:52.815-05:00Where do I start?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spring pictures of A</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where do I start? I'm not doing to well and it shows in keeping up with my blog. I've come to realize when I'm feeling better I tend to "want" to blog. I've really had a tough time through this hard winter we had this year. I think about it a lot, and feel like all I will do is complain and who wants to hear that. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was reading something in a book about dealing with chronic pain and the writer mentioned to not be afraid to let your friends and family know and help them understand how your feeling. If you don't, they won't understand your behavior at times. What happens to "you" is you shut yourself off from everyone. I watched it happen to me multiple times even though I've been in therapy for 3 years now. This blog was meant for reaching people who deal with chronic pain and/or have a SCS. it was meant to be a pain journal so to speak. Someplace I could feel comfortable talking about how I feel and how I'm dealing with it. So here I am back to complain. I really should continue to do more of it here. As I get through some tough days I'm angry by the time I arrive home. Depressed or angry. I don't know how to stay in the middle. As I've said many times my husband ends up take the brunt of my release. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My latest ailments outside of the everyday trials are a flare up of my gastritis/reflux and the bursitis. In my last post I was feeling so positive that the bursitis was almost gone. I was feeling very little and was continuing to do the stretches even though I'd been released from OT. Within weeks it was much better but unfortunately it just moved areas. I woke up during the night soon after with my upper arm on same side hurting. The pain was all the way from top of shoulder to my elbow on the back side of the arm. (tricep area) Over the last month it has increased to the point I can't lift my arm straight out or past shoulder area. I decided to just deal with it because I had an appointment coming up with my rheumatologist. My OT had already told me the PT would be the person to help me with anything above the elbow. I know Dr. C could give the recommendations and stretches I needed. I preferred to wait for his advise. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, during the same time I was waking up every morning with a burning sensation in my stomach. I was also very nauseous to the point I didn't want to eat anything. I put up with it for two weeks then decided to go ahead and schedule with my gastroenterologist. I figured they'd be sending me a card soon since it had been a year since I'd seen him and my Nexium was about to be out of refills. It just so happened the appointment that was available was the same day as my rheumatologist. The times worked out perfect. I really love getting two over with in one day instead of going back to town on another day. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I saw the gastro doctor first. He said some people build up a tolerance to reflux medication just like a pain reliever so first thing he wanted me to try something new for the reflux. Secondly, and sadly, he wants to do another scope to compare the changes to the gastritis. He was not comfortable with he amount of ibuprofen I'm taking. I told him I really don't have a choice. I refuse to increase my pain medication. I may have a change of heart if my scope shows a big difference but I'm praying it's his first thought. Maybe the Nexium isn't working any longer. My husband has been taking Nexium for years and never had to change. His symptoms haven't returned though. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After leaving there I went straight to see my favorite doctor of all of them. He is the nicest person in the health care field I have ever seen. Believe me when I say I've seen a lot. He always sits and talks with me first. Then he always does an exam. How many of your doctors examine you? Maybe your GP? My PM doctor or my previous orthopedic doctor who did my fusion never once examined my back. They all rely on notes and x rays. Focus, back to topic...he cares about everything else going on, not just my Fibromyalgia. When we discussed my appointment with gastroenterologist he told me he liked the medication he wanted me to try. ( I really appreciation his opinions whether I ask or not ) He was really concerned about that issue for me and asked me to come back 3 months instead of 6 so I could update him on the scope results and my decision about the Fibromyalgia medication I'm taking.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During his exam he had me do all kinds of things with my arm. He conclusion was the bursitis was in my rotator cuff not my arm. The arm is just where the pain refers to. The good news, it's in place you just have some bursitis there. Seriously? So it just left one area of the arm to another. I really just thought it was fibromyalgia pain. He reminded me that for most people the pain level is one number but when you have fibromyalgia it amplifies. He spent quite some time showing me what stretches to do and gave me a print out with instructions. We decided I could do this on my own at home instead of returning to PT.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I talked to him about my medication not helping any longer. He gave me the option of stopping. Sometime when you have so many other things going on you think something isn't working but if you stop it you can tell it is helping. He doesn't doubt it's not, but he suggests I get off and see how much different I feel. The other option is to bump up to two and see if that helps. Before I could get it out, (my concern of weight gain), he reminded me it put some more weight on me. Yes, I know. It already has. Even though I've continued to stay on WW's it still creeped on. I'm back to where I was when I started WW's. I had lost 8 pounds when I started the medication. I can't imagine if I wouldn't have been following a diet where I'd be. I like that he gives me options and he's truly honest with me on how "he" feels about it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a close friend who has dealt with elbow and shoulder pain. I know she really understands where I'm coming from. If I try and find the good in having the bursitis not leave but move to a different area it is that if I don't use my arm it doesn't hurt. I wish it was that way with my back. In some ways I think they are all tied together. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On to some good things. This makes week four of watching two of my grandchildren one day a week. Even though we've never been very far apart life just keeps everyone busy. For me, if I'm not busy, I'm recovering. It's been nice to see them on a regular basis. When P was born I tried really hard in the beginning to see him as often as possible. I was still working at the time and it seemed to get harder and harder to get it done. My daughter brought him to see us plenty of the time. I can remember so many week ends longing to be with him but just couldn't pull myself out of bed to get in the car to go. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not only do I love spending the day with them it also makes me very happy to be helping my daughter and son in law. It's so hard for mom's to go back to work at any age of their children's life. I believe it's especially hard when you have to leave an infant or even a toddler especially if its not with family. It's a long day for me, but worth every minute of it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">AJ is smiling at her big brother and he loves her so. If I'm not sure where something is he can help me out for sure.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hanging out with sista</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 week old angel<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">smiling<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Five more days until my mom and I set sail for our caribbean getaway. The closer it gets the more excited I am. I usually get really nervous about leaving town any method of traveling. One or two nights before I start thinking of all the reasons I shouldn't go or what could happen while I'm gone. I've always been anxious about being away from my children. Now I have my grandchildren I think about and miss. And then there is my baby at home, Dallas. Of course I will worry about him. We have a follow up appointment at the vet on Friday so at least I will have an update before I leave.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mom and I have been off on a short trip together and a longer one with more of the family but never for this length of time just her and I. We will have plenty of time to catch up, enjoy some great food, entertainment, soak up some sunshine and most importantly just relax. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Weekend before last A was here for a visit. She spent Friday night and Saturday with Poppa and Nonna. On Saturday afternoon I brought her to have some spring pictures taken. She loves to get dressed up. After she was done she couldn't wait for her daddy to get there and see her in her beautiful dress and she didn't want to take it off to make sure Aunt B could see "how pretty" (her words) she was. And I agree. Take a look for yourself.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope to check back in before leaving on Sunday. If for some reason I don't I will be around soon after to show off some pictures from our trip! Enjoy the rest of the week. We will return on the following Sunday.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until we chat again....remember to have HOPE-Hold on Pain ends</span></div>
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My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-80892186334449263302014-02-23T22:28:00.000-06:002014-02-23T22:28:10.355-06:00Come on Spring<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We've had a tease of spring weather this past week. The high in the 70's several days in a row. Last week end D pressure washed the deck to prepare for sealing. Between watching him work outside around the pool and the weather it really gave me pool fever. I can't wait until we can open so I can get back to doing some walking. We'll see about the lap swimming. I have every intention to go back to it, but I'm slightly concerned that it may have caused the bursitis. Last year when we opened the pool I had to wait 3 more weeks because my incision was still healing from my battery change and reposition. Not this time. I'm in as soon as it's open!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">D and I are both hopeful that we will open 3-4 weeks earlier than last year with the help of the thermal cover we purchased last fall. We were able to close a month later than usual.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We do need some sunshine for that to work and we haven't seen much of it lately. I'm hopeful! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On to how all my ailments are. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My aching back: Same old story. I mentioned last post I was actually looking forward to my visit with my PM doctor. I'm never looking forward to any appointment but I know I needed some advise on my medications. I have to say for as long as I've been on the same narcotic it's worked relatively well for me. We talked last year on my pre surgery visit about changing because it had got to the point it was only taking the edge off and hardly reducing the pain scale number. I was, and currently getting about an hour to hour and a half max relief from it. He prescribes TID (three times a day) but I rarely take that way. As you know, if you've taken narcotics for chronic pain for any period, the longer you take them the more you need to get relief. You body becomes accustom to the schedule of taking it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This past winter has been the worst ever. My PM doctor stated he couldn't tell me how many complaints over the last few weeks he'd heard the same thing. I told him all my bones hurt and he smiled only because he said he was waiting for that next. Something else he has heard a lot. So we did make the change at this visit. We have a good relationship and he knows what my pain tolerance is. He trusts if I tell him I've had to take as prescribed lately to get any relief that I'm at my worst. He knows I understand the longer I hold off the more relief I get down the road. Not to say it's always easy. Trust me, if it's a day that will be hard I take every alley I can. My stimulator runs 24/7, pain medicine and patch or cream. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The lateral epicondylitis: After 4 months of OT I was very impatient with it and sought advice from an orthopedic in January. He confirmed what we already knew. No arthritis, just a bone spur on the elbow. Good old tennis elbow. Takes time, he says. Yep, I've heard. Funny thing is about two weeks after I saw him I started getting some relief with it. I was so glad to get a break from the brace. I left it off and when ever it started bothering me I'd put it back on. I saw my OT on Friday and we did a review and release consult after my treatment. She was great. Always encouraging me that it would get better. It's not completely gone. I'm still doing the stretches and careful not to over do it. I'd say it's 80% better. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The mean Fibromyalgia: This goes hand in hand with my weight control. Shortly after I started the medication my rheumatologist started me on I reached a plateau. I've been up and down by 2 pounds since December. I can't seem to reach my goal weight for nothing. It's ok though. I'm happy I'm controlling the side effects of the medications. If I wasn't still following a plan I promise you I'd have gained at least 10 pounds by now. I really think I need to increase dose or take additional dose in the morning but I'm so scared of the side effects. I see my rheumatologist next month so I can wait until then to get his advice on that decision. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It can be brutal some days. What already hurts intensifies, and areas that have never bothered you and have no reasons to hurt can be extremely painful. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dr. Oz had a segment on Fibromyalgia this past week. I wish he would have committed more than 10-15 minutes to it. He had an audience member who had symptoms come up and a specialist went over the "trigger points" that are very tender to someone dealing with FM as opposed to someone who isn't. Why are they important? Because so many women and men are written of as having some other diagnosis because it is very hard determine if you have FM or not. For instance, most patients experience fatigue. Fatigue for long periods of time for some patients. That is a symptom of a lot of ailments. It could be from any number of things. Headaches are another example. I could name more. He made a point that made me feel better about something. He said, some women are actually relieved to get the diagnosis because then they know that people don't think they are crazy. There actually is something wrong. I felt a little that way. So many of my doctors said it was just a stem of my back pain. I knew better. I'd done to much research on my own about the illness. I actually agreed when my rheumatologist started mentioning it. When he officially put it down as my diagnosis it was disturbing none the less and a relief to know at the same time.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's Sunday morning, raining and I don't have a place that is not hurting. Every area is tender to touch. I can remember seeing the commercial years ago for FM thinking how can that be? Surely they can figure out what is causing it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I was still working we had several patients diagnosed with FM and I was particularly close with one. The last two years I was there I couldn't believe the change I saw in her. Before I knew it she changed before my eyes. Looking much older and frail, I had so much empathy for her in my heart knowing the "ideas" people have when you tell them what's wrong. Including my own employer. I believe she was fighting it years, before knowing what was going on for sure. That was different for me. I started out with the attitude that no one but my family needs to know about what they "think" I have. I will however do everything I am supposed to do to keep yourself going. Exercise, watching my weight, keeping my bi annual appointments with my rheumatologist. A lot of people who aren't getting the answers they need stop seeking treatment. I stuck with him even though for 4-5 years he had no for sure answers for me but he always had plenty information. Ideas and suggestions for supplements. He is my favorite of all my doctors, and I have plenty! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Which brings me to....</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My weight: I just said it to my husband this am. What is worse, to tough out the pain or gain a little weight? As much as I'm hurting this morning I'm really scared of the weight gain. It's already put 20 pounds on me once before. I've continued to follow my WW's program. My husband and daughter both will tell you that I don't play around with something I pay for. I'm not going to "estimate" or say to myself, well I've eaten good the last few days so it won't hurt to eat out and guess at it. I'm sort of OCD about it. If I can't figure out the points or it's not a chain in the app to know the points I'm going to pass. With all that said my point is the medication is trying to win. I'm on a low dose and feel like I could really use a stronger one. He wrote for BID (two times a day) so I'd have if I needed it. Hopeful though that a nighttime dose could keep me comfortable. Most of the time it does. I'd say out of a month I might do an am dose 5 times. Today was a day I needed that. I'm actually waiting for it to kick in right now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I started the FM medication I was two pounds away from my goal weight. There is no doubt I'd have hit it for sure. It's been a struggle though. It constantly fluctuates between 2-3 numbers but never have I dipped past that number I was at when starting the medication. I've hit it again a few times but mostly stay 2 to 3 pounds above that. There is no doubt if I wouldn't continue to follow a plan I'd quickly gain enough to not fit any of my clothes. I've always worried about controlling my weight because of my back pain and the challenge of exercising. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My Stimulator: Even though I've been frustrated with my coverage and my lack of support ( I feel ) from my St. Jude rep who I've loved and bragged about many times, I seem to always have it on and thankful to have it. I don't know if he is just so busy now he can't keep up with his number of patients requests. My last time reaching him it was quite disturbing waiting to hear back from him. He's told me in the past, "bug me". Well, I did. On the day we were supposed to meet he set me up with someone else because something came up for him. I've seen her before but not for adjustments. She was with him for several of my visits because she was training. We did ok with our meet, but I ran into a problem a couple of days later. I text and called her. Guess when I got a return call? Four days later. I had figured it out on my own by then, thank goodness. My stimulator was not making connection with the battery. I've experienced this before. One of the reasons I had to have the reposition surgery last year. By the time I heard back from her it was just so disappointing that she even called at that point. Like it was ok? Her message gave a reason why I it took so long and it was not even a good reason. I have to get over it because her and Mr. R are my only options for adjustments. I'm at their mercy. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To let you know how much I'm using it reflects in how often I'm needing to charge now I charged my batter yesterday and it had only been two weeks. It took 2 hours and 10 minutes. I used to go a month. sometime longer before charging and at most it was an hour. I've had it running 24/7 the last few months in this awful damp cold we've had. I've found if I turn down pretty low and leave running I seem to not be as uncomfortable when moving around in my sleep. I have 13 programs right now and can only use 2. I'm thankful for them, but even they could use tweaking. To have at the level I need I get the zaps into my side and stomach. I will soon just bite the bullet and reach out to Mr. R again. I need to do it before I loose placement with the 2 I have because it could be days before I get something set up with him. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dallas: He has started a medication to help reduce swelling of the tumor in his bladder. He has good and bad days. Some days except for his bleeding you wouldn't think anything was wrong. Some days he is just so lazy and laying around looking pitiful. Our vet said at some point we will need to put him on some pain medication. He's still up for his afternoon walk and eating all of his food every evening and she said that is a really good sign. We are very hopeful that this medication will shrink the tumor enough to keep him comfortable and still active a little longer. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sweet AJ and P: Things are going great for them. AJ nursing well and P is such a great big brother. Always checking and asking questions about his "baby sister". B had two week pictures of her and they are absolutely beautiful. Can't wait to share, but I have to wait until B sends out her announcements. They are on their way. She did share one of P and AJ together so I can share that one with you. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you are on WW's and always looking for a low point snack like me I'll share a couple I've been having. I have discovered Wasa multigrain crispbread. They are only 1 point a piece and I pile on a wedge of laughing cow cheese, also 1 point. It is a filling snack. Have a piece of fruit with it and a full glass of water and I promise you it will help curve your appetite until your next meal. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wasa crispbread with laughing cow cheese</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After my medicine kicked in and I felt a little better this morning I decided to use up my over ripe bananas. I usually make breakfast muffins with them. This recipe was a 3 ingredient and I followed exactly. I already know a few changes I willtry next time. So simple and 15 minutes from start to oven. If you are on weight watchers they are 1 point a piece. I'll probably eat 3 with some fruit. A good way for me to get some oatmeal because I do not like it in bowl. I used a measuring tablespoon to make sure I made 16 which is what recipe called for it to make. That's not as important if your not following WW's. If you are it is because the points will not be correct if you add anything or make quantity different serving size. If you want to make them head on over to Skinnytaste.com to get complete directions. They are called "Healthy cookies" 1 cup of Quick oats, 2 ripe bananas and 1/4 cup of walnuts. I really like blueberries with oatmeal but these are small so fruit really doesn't do to well. I'm anxious to finish these and use cranberries or mini chocolate chips next. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Another of my favorites is a pizza on flat bread or a bread that is called flatout fold it. I love the Rosemary & Olive Oil flavor. They can be hard to find sometime. Great for hamburgers or chicken sandwich too. It is made by same company as the flat out. Each kind is 2 points but the tortilla I used is only 1pt. I mentioned it in an earlier post. I use it to make a wrap sandwich and also toast to crisp and cut into strips to dip in my soup or chili. Today it worked awesome for my pizza since I was out of the flatout flat bread. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know what I love about making my own pizza? You can put a lot of 0 point items you like on there to make it yummy. I used Paul Newman marinara Sauce 1 pt , turkey pepperonis (serving size) 2 pts, mozzarella chesse (serving size) 2 points and the tortilla is 1pt. It is even better with the flatout flat bread because it's a little thicker and more filling. It also makes the pizza 8 pts vs 7 because bread is 2 pts not 1. My extras were onions, bell pepper and banana peppers. So tasty. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />For the first time in I don't know when I don't have any doctor or therapy appointments this coming week. I won't know what to do with myself. Really I'll be caring for Dallas. He's becoming a handful right now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've enjoyed watching the Olympics. D and I've enjoyed watching together. They're aren't many shows we watch together. A few shows that D and I watch together will start coming on again this week so we're looking forward to that. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Good night everyone. Have a nice peaceful and pain free week.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Filled with H.O.P. E. (hold on pain ends)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Theresa</span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-91208239365708669482014-02-13T10:53:00.000-06:002014-02-13T11:01:51.941-06:00FDA Acetaminophen mandate<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My husband picked up my refill on my pain medication for me last week. The pharmacist wanted to make sure he made me aware that the acetaminophen level had been lowered from 500 to 325. I had read about this so I wasn't surprised. I could tell you all about what I read but I'll just share the link for those who are interested. </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.fda.gov/Drugs/DrugSafety/ucm381644.htm" target="_blank">http://www.fda.gov/Drugs/DrugSafety/ucm381644.htm</a><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a need for concern. I've heard on the news all the concerns of the effects on your liver. I always stick to the recommended dosage. Not to say that I don't need 500, but I trust the FDA is looking out for patients who really need to take it on a regular basis. I've been pumping my stomach with NSAIDs for 10+ years. Since my back surgery it's been on a scheduled daily dosage without missing. Like a baby takes a bottle. One reason is it helps me keep the pain medication level down which helps it continue to work. I get an hour or two relief so I plan accordingly. If I took it more often I believe it will help even less. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I start out with the ibuprofen, 2 hours later the main medicine, 2 hours later more ibuprofen then depending on what I have to accomplish that day I sweat it out, stretch, lye on the heating pad and try to make it to the next pain medication dose. If I just can't make it I take some motrin in between the two kinds. Approximately 4 out of 7 nights I have to take a 3rd dose of pain medicine before going to bed. If I don't let it get out of control I can skip it and just take another dose of ibuprofen if it has been long enough. Once I'm off my feet, not sitting or standing I get about 70% relief. ( in my back )</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You know the commercial that advertises why take 4-6 of this pain medicine when you could take 2 for all day? It humors me every time. I take 4 of the liquid ibuprofen. Two used to work years ago. Then I needed 3, now it's four. When they first came out with that commercial I decided to try Aleve again. It never worked for me in the past. I tried it twice and then gave the full bottle to my son for his back pain. It did nothing for me. I've even tried Rx naproxen. Somethings just don't work for some people. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So remember when I said above there is a need for concern? For me, that's why. There have been times that I had my pain level get so high that an hour later I took another half I was so desperate for just a little relief. That would put me at 750 of the acetaminophen. If I were to need to do that now even two an hour apart in that type of situation would only put me at 625. If this were to happen in the morning I could still have my second and/or third dose. In a 24hour period you should not have more than 4000mg so I am in very safe levels.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A big concern for people who take acetaminophen everyday is reading labels. There are so many other medications (cold and flu) that contain acetaminophen. Another increased risk is certain individuals who drink alcohol on a regular basis and take acetaminophen. If you have any concerns there is plenty of information on great medical web sites to answer your questions. Of course you can always discuss with your doctor also. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still waiting on the call from the veterinarian office on answers from LSU. I'm also waiting on some warm weather. Oh, have I already mentioned that? I'll take above 50 for a full week and be thrilled. Oh yeah, and some sunshine regularly. Guess I'm trying to play God now.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">AJ is doing great. She had her two week check up and is now up to 9lbs and 14ozs. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've skipped physical and occupational therapy for the third week. I did see my social worker last Thursday because it was a much needed visit. On my next post I will fill you in on my elbow, my stimulator and handling the fibromyalgia. I have my 3 month check up with my PM doctor on Monday and I'm actually looking forward to it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until then I hope your days are pain free. Theresa</span><br />
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My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-31631766731233083722014-02-12T09:32:00.001-06:002014-02-12T09:32:47.476-06:00Dallas, my canine best friend<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you follow my blog you know Dallas has been having a tough year. We nursed him through a surgery to have a mass removed from his stomach in 2012. It was a long healing. Due to the nature of where it was he just seemed to take so long to heal and stop bleeding. We went back in with him on three different occasions.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This past summer he starting having some problems with wetting inside (the house) suddenly. We had him checked out and they suspected a bladder stone. It was confirmed with an x ray. Our veterinarian recommended if we wanted to try antibiotics first it may dissolve on it's on. She put him on a special diet (food and snacks) and we waited. After he finished the antibiotic he was still having trouble controlling his bladder and we were now spotting blood in his urine. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At this point she (our veterinarian) decided we should go ahead with the surgery. It was definitely easier as far as recovery but at his first post op check I let her know things just weren't right still. He was still struggling to make it outside. Dallas has always made it all day, sometime up to 10-12 hours without going out. He wasn't even making it for 6 hours.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We tried switching back to his other food now that the stone was gone. The special diet food makes them very thirsty causing them to drink a lot of extra water. She thought maybe that was causing the problem.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After discussing with the male veterinarian on another follow up visit he recommended we try an incontinent medication. After a couple of weeks of being on it everything seemed to be back to normal and we realized Dallas was nearing 10 years old and he'd likely be on this medication for the rest of his dog years. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then one fall day on a evening walk we noticed some blood in his urine again. Oh wow, not again. It didn't just go away like we hoped and the accidents inside started again. We took him in and they took an x ray. No stone. Yeah, good news. But what? The veterinarian put him back on the special dog food and an antibiotic and we crossed our fingers. It seemed to get better but right towards the end of the medication it seemed to come back stronger. We called in asking for another round but of course they wanted to see him. They recommended he have some blood work done. On the Friday after AJ was born while I was at her home visiting, D took Dallas in for his blood work.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She called me last Tuesday evening and said some crystals showed up in his bladder which could be a sign of a stone but could also be a tumor. She didn't really like the way his little bladder felt and decided our next step should be an ultrasound. She wanted me to schedule it on a day that both her and Dr. Tony was there so the could get together on his case. She had been treating him through this latest issue but he does all the ultrasounds. Between their schedules and ours today was the day for it to work out. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was pretty chilly outside and he was shaking all the way there even under his blanket. He's so nosey. He wanted to stay under the blanket but he had to pop out now and then and see where we were going. I've never been worried or scared for him with either surgery he had. For some reason today, I was exceptionally nervous for him. Puzzled why they couldn't give us an answer of what was going on with him. I felt very uncomfortable when I left him and it was sad, he was crying when I left. He never does that.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I was at home waiting I had the must uncomfortable feeling in my gut. I can't explain it, I just knew we were not going to get good news. Something simple wouldn't be so hard to find. I found my self missing him following me around and not having to remember to leave the gate closed. One thing I didn't miss was getting him outside twice an hour and cleaning up blood drips here and there that he can't help. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4:30 rolled around and I hadn't heard anything. I called at 5 and asked why I hadn't heard anything. They said I should get a call before 5 to come back and pick him up. The receptionist called back at 5:15 and she said to come on to office and Dr. Gretchen would talk to me when I got here. I asked did they get any answers with the ultra sound and she said Dr. Gretchen prefers to discuss with you in person. I called D. I knew it must be bad news if they wouldn't say anything over the phone. I wanted him to meet me there on his way home in case it was.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We had to wait about 25 minutes. It was such a long time. She called us in and start saying she was sorry right away. I read her face it said it all. The ultrasound showed what looked like to her as a tumor. She was pretty matter of fact about it. She said she wanted our permission to send to LSU for a second opinion from a radiologist there. "What else could it be we asked?" It could be a stone, an unusual one if it is because it doesn't feel like one when I check him with my hands or on the xray. She said in her opinion it was most likely a cancerous mass. Could it be removed? She couldn't say. That's what she is hoping LSU will tell her. In his little body there is not much room in the bladder so removing it is probably out of question, but a biopsy maybe. I took her pretty seriously. D said I wasn't thinking positive and didn't hear her clear about having LSU confirm her suspensions. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I heard her clear. I don't think a veterinarian would tell you the worst unless she was trying to prepare you for it. I asked her if it for sure is a tumor what next? Our two options were to keep him comfortable with a steroid medication. As the tumor grows he will be less able to control bladder and there will be more blood. She said his need to go more often is because as it gets bigger he can't hold it because the tumor takes up some of his room. He will start to get uncomfortable and we can give him pain medications. By this time I'm crying. D thinks I'm over reacting. He kept saying, "we don't know yet". I still asked the questions. How long will be live if this is indeed whats wrong. She couldn't say for sure but suspected 3-4 months. Give or take a month. Now I'm overwhelmed. No way. I knew something was wrong. I wanted so bad to be mad at her but she was just so nice about it and kept saying she was sorry. I could see in her eyes that she didn't feel we would find anything different. D still wanted to know option 2. She could send us to see an Oncologist for treatment options. She said they would do a consultation to tell us what might or might not work. Dr. Gretchen pointed out that this kind of treatment is very hard for some humans and definitely would be hard on Dallas and our pocket book but we could certainly make the decision when the time came. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I asked when will we know? She said sometime they are very busy and it could take up to 3 days but sometime they are slow and call back the same day. She asked me to call her if I hadn't heard from her by Friday. You bet I will. I cried all the way home. Poor Dallas just whined with me. He is very sensitive to your feelings as most dogs are and he was very bothered by my sadness. D stayed behind to pay the bill and when he came in after us he asked me to not take everything so seriously and to wait and see what LSU says. I didn't hear her say, "I don't know what it is and I need their help". I heard her say, "I want a second opinion that it is indeed a bladder tumor". I really don't think she would have answered all my questions so truthfully if she wasn't pretty sure of what was wrong with him.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I'm trying to remain positive but it's hard. Being negative is what has kept me away from my blog. I've been having quite a few pity parties by myself as soon as I can't get alone. In the bathroom after D goes to bed. After he leaves to workout or where ever he is going. Sometime I can't hold it together when he is here. I try hard not to break down to much around him because he has to hold everything together now. I'm no help at all. Poor man never know what he will find when he returns home at the end of the day. Either I'm crying because I'm hurting or I'm angry. I'm angry about my pain, but I take it out on him as some other issue that is really not important. He knows that because he will ask me. Are you hurting today? I give him that "are you serious look" that means I'm hurting everyday. Do you mean, Is it a 10 day? God Bless him, I couldn't put up with me. I really couldn't. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With all this said, when I come in and I'm hurting and all I want to do is get to the heating pad Dallas is there to greet me the same way every day. He doesn't care if I scold him, talk sweet to him or shoo him out the door for wetting the floor. He is still so happy to see me. Runs to the gate with his blanket still on to have a pet on the head. That little moment makes me push a few minutes more to let him out, feed him, love him or whatever is necessary before I take care of me. Just like a child, they come first most times. If he will only be with us a short time longer I will love those moments even more than I do now if thats possible.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dallas is such a big part of D and ours relationship. Almost like a child. My children gave Dallas to me for Christmas as a puppy in 2004. D and I married in 2005. We've joked about how it's easy to keep up with our anniversary years because of Dallas. Just one more year than his age. He will be 10 in October. We will celebrate 9 years of marriage in November.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyday that I put my feet on the floor and make myself get dressed and go it's a good day. I can tell you I don't want to do it. I'd rather, and it would be much easier, if I just stayed in bed. To bad I can't make my brain work like Dallas and just be happy all the time no matter what. :-)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Full of H.O.P.E. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Theresa</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">***a note that I wrote this very late Tuesday night and am to sleepy to proof so the todays mean Tuesday. Not Wednesday. I think Dallas and I will commit to just being lazy around here on this rainy day we are supposed to have and I will just let him sit or sleep where every he wants. It's his day, King for a day!</span></div>
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My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-89349322269841945312014-02-04T15:30:00.000-06:002014-02-04T15:34:32.498-06:00Meet A J<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me start by apologizing for being away so long. Today will not be anything about me, but about our newest bundle of joy. My next post I'll update you on what's been going on with my "ailments". They are a big part of what's kept me away from my blog. Thank you to friends and followers who have emailed and messaged me to check on me and why I haven't been blogging. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Friday January 24th was a very high anxiety day for me. To start the weather conditions here in Baton Rouge were not normal for us. We had freezing numbers with some precipitation and that equaled a mess for people who are not used to driving in these conditions. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had appointments for OT (the elbow) and PT (the back). At the same time as my second appointment my daughter was at the doctor having a follow up ultrasound. Baby girl wasn't moving satisfactory to doctor's liking on the Tuesday before. She wasn't going to let B go another week without rechecking. I was a nervous wreck while there at therapy. The weather had my pain scale up and I was fretting the weather outside. Everyone coming in after me said it was only getting worse and the car windows were icing over within their visit. That told me mine was for sure since I had already been there an hour and a half. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had plans to have my granddaughter who lives out of town to come for the week end because we all knew that my daughter would be delivering any time now. I figured it was her last time to come for a few weeks since Nonna would be helping out with my "new" granddaughter. Her maw maw and I had been watching the weather and texting back and forth before my appointment. It wasn't looking good. The interstate closed then a bridge for her and myself that had to be crossed closed. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With all of this going on I was a nervous wreck and had both of my therapist worrying over me. They are the greatest. If you live here in Baton Rouge and need PT please let me give you there information. This is my second go around there and I've been other places and there is no comparison. The entire office including the front office is full of compassion.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I got a text from B saying AJ passed her movement test but barely. She was not waiting to see the doctor which was not in the plans so of course we both worried briefly. Shortly after she text me back and said they would be inducing on the Monday. January 27th. It hit me, we now know her birthday. January 27th 2014. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I got the sad face from my daughter on her text. She wanted to go into labor on her own. She had to be induced with P which made her labor harder and of course being your first it took so long. She really wanted to deliver natural but it just wasn't in the cards for P. Now with this news I'm sure that was the meaning of the sad face. Pitocin induced contractions are different from your body's natural contractions , in strength and effect. I'm sure that flashbacks were already in her mind of P's long hard labor ending with an epidural. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was ready to leave therapy one of the aids had to walk me all the way to my car because the parking lot was iced over. If I hadn't held on to this strong gentlemen it would have been like trying to ice skate to my car and I KNOW I wouldn't have made it. Both my front and back windshield had iced over. I sat for awhile with defrost on and thankfully was on my way slowly out the parking lot soon after. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I talked to A's Maw Maw on the way home to update her on B and we discussed meeting in the morning. Still no way to meet, due to iced bridges and closed interstate. We did get to meet up later Saturday morning. Although still very cold the rain cleared and the sun melted the ice. She was one happy little girl to know that even if for a shorter time she could spend some time with Nonna and Poppa. She was very curious about Aunt B and how she was. When was baby girl coming? She loves her cousin P but very excited about having a girl cousin. A has already planned what she wants to teach baby girl when she meets her. A understood that at her next visit her new cousin would be here and Nonna promised her she would get to visit. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A with her friend A2</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6:30am Monday rolled around fast. Once I got word she was settled in a room I headed to the hospital. I'm grateful I live very close to the Womans Hospital. During her stay I made some drives to and from hospital on icy roads. When I arrived they were starting her Pitocin and her pains started quickly. It was so hard as her mother to watch her go through the labor pains once they got really intense. At one point I couldn't help cry for her. I just laid across her bed and prayed for things to move along quickly. Myself, her mother in law, baby girls Nannie and of course her supporting husband were with her too.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully things moved along quickly. Well, easy for me to call quickly but compared to P it was. By 10:30 she was at a 9. They called the doctor in, nurses started scrambling and B was in transition. No turning back, she did it! A calm came over her for a short period then a few pushes, along with such pain in her face it scared me, and baby AJ was here. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We were all in awe over our new pretty big, blessing. After daddy cut the cord they gave her straight to my daughter. I can't begin to try and tell you how it felt to see my daughter hold her first girl skin to skin immediately after birth. She was beautiful even without being cleaned up. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was the second time I witnessed the miracle of birth. I can never thank my daughter enough for letting us be a part of it. She was such a champ. Hearing her tell the story to visitors after you could tell how worth it it was for her to deliver natural. She had experienced both and said she would do it natural again if they were to have another. I told her I'm a little scared how fast it may go on third child. She didn't even look like she had a baby several hours later. My daughter is very blessed to have a wonderful husband and a very loving and helpful mother in law. It was just as hard for her to see B in pain. We were just so happy for her in the end that she was able to accomplish her goal. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Right before they unwrapped her for B</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My daughter was released Wednesday evening but AJ had to stay another night so mom stayed on the sofa in NICU with her. In the end she was just fine. The scare we had did reveal something with her little heart that they needed to know about. She will have a follow up with the cardiologist next month, but they expect everything to be all clear by then. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On Thursday they got to go home and begin life as a family of 4 now. P loves his little sister. He's doing great with her. Checks on her periodically and then on about his business. He's so helpful too. Already knows what we need before we do when changing her diaper. :-)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">P meeting little sister for the first time</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">P home with AJ</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On Friday AJ had her first visit at the pediatrician. She was so good. She just let her doctor do her thing. The only thing she didn't like was undressing and redressing. Everyday she seems to look a little different. It's been such a blessing to be around to help out my daughter and see the wonders of the first week of life. Lets face it, I'm 49. I remember a lot about my children but not so much about the first week of life. What really amazes me is how everyone thinks she looks like someone different. We've heard like her big brother, her momma, and 3 different people said she looks like her Nonna. Imagine how that made Nonna smile and melt my heart. What a blessing. Three grandchildren all special in their own way. A, my first. Something very special. P, the only boy and my daughters first child. Then AJ, my 2nd granddaughter but my daughter having a daughter is something special in itself. I love them all equally <3.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">4 days old</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm home today for only 2nd time since she was born. I decided I would do nothing else but laundry, clean up pictures on my computer and this post. It was time. Now that I've got this done I feel like I will be back into a routine again. I will be so happy to see some warm weather come and have the pool open again.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In April my mom and I are taking a cruise together. We've been saying for a good long time we wanted to take a trip together. All to often we talk about doing things and never make them happen. I'm glad to say we are, and there is no long car ride or plane ride involved. Some warm weather is an excellent perk too!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A note about AJ. That is not her name or what anyone calls her. It is her initials of her first and second name. A beautiful name that I love more every day I see her. As with everyone else I respect their privacy and prefer not to use full names. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks again for your understanding through some difficult times. My pain level with my back, elbow and fibromyalgia has been off the chart through these winter months. I'm hoping to be getting some relief soon. There is rain coming this evening so it was a great day to just take it easy and get some blogging done. I hope to catch up on some of my favorite blogs I follow next.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Full of H.O.P.E.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Theresa</span></div>
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My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-68857340666729914522013-12-06T18:48:00.001-06:002014-02-23T20:29:51.427-06:00What's "Not" Happening<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's been so long I decided best to go back and read my last post. How long ago was that now? I've been a slacker...but I have a good excuse ok? I'm not going to tell you I haven't had time. We all have the same amount in every day. I just haven't physically felt like it period! Here's why.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">During the week of my last post I started the move with my rheumatologist to try something for the fibromyalgia pain. I've been putting if off because I don't like the choices of drugs for FM. I had reached the desperate, I don't care any more, pain level. "Give me something, I just want to feel better". That's what God said through my thoughts when I opened my eyes that morning. You can't deal with this any more. So I emailed my doctor and asked him what he thought. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">At first he reminded me we tried it in 2011 and I asked to stop taking because of side effects and you didn't thing it was helping. His positive side was that it was not "full blown" or a "flare up" at that time. Now your experiencing the real ugly side of it, it can't hurt to try. I wrote back and said, Lets go. Last time one of the two side effects went away after two weeks even though the other hung around. I'm ready to try anything. So he recommended I start with a night time dose. 2-3 hours before bed time and 2-3 hours when first up is the worst. If we can get results with a bed time dose that would be great. If that's not enough we'll make changes. Sounded good to me so I started Thanksgiving Eve night. I thought I noticed a small difference the following morning but didn't think possible to notice results that fast. Night two, Thanksgiving night after traveling to and from D's families home town, even more noticeable.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My family came here the day after Thanksgiving. I had little to do. My husband did the cooking. My daughter brought pie and a dish. I made a cake. D's birthday was the day before and my moms the next day. So I baked a birthday cake. Not a big deal. My granddaughter stayed the night before and she even helped. Being on my feet a lot really effects how I feel also so I kind of jumped the game and took some of the medicine before the all over pain started with a morning dose. That has been the only day I've taken more than bedtime. That night was my third dose. Definitely a noticeable difference when getting up in the morning on Saturday. I can't tell you how pleased I am with the results so far. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This medication does not effect my back in any way except that one pan level 8 is easier to manage without another pain level 8 present at same time. I emailed Dr. C back that following Monday morning to him know I really felt like I was getting some good results. He was thrilled to hear and hoped it continued. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That week end after Thanksgiving brought something new to deal with though. Life is never simple is it? On the Saturday my pointer fingertip felt swollen and underneath side felt very tender. Every time something touched it it felt tingly and sore. I mentioned to D and he seemed to think I always have something hurting everywhere. On Sunday it increased and by night time it was really feeling weird and swollen to point I couldn't bend it. It kept waking me up during the night throbbing. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When I went to OT Monday am she checked it out and asked the hand specialist to take a look. Her opinion was I should get right on the phone and make an appointment with my dermatologist. She said, "this is not going away. What are you waiting for to happen?" So I called. Fooled around for 2 hours waiting for the appointment. I had blood work at 8. Saw my social worker at 8:45. The OT at 10 and the PT at 11:15 to 12:30. The PT did some more needling in my elbow and my second session on my back. She inquired about results from the first but I let her know I'd traveled, had a day of company, and a busy week end. Not to mention starting a new medicine in the middle of all that. I didn't want to mislead any information to her. I let her know in all fairness it wasn't a good week to try and judge on that. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On to the dermatologist and he decided it was paronychia. He treated it like staff to be on the safe side. He said he really felt like that was what it was but without any infection present at this point to tell. A medium dose antibiotic and recommended warm soaks or compresses which ever I preferred. And when will this throbbing stop I asked him? It kept me awake much of the night. The soaks should help and after 2-3 of antibiotics in system I should feel much better. I know I'm a pessimist, but I drove away knowing it wasn't going to be that simple based on how much it hurt. Monday night it was worse. Just couldn't sleep. I soaked it on and off during night. Tried propping it up. Tried the TV to take my mind off of it. Nothing worked. At 5:30 am I gave up and got up with my husband and made coffee and tried to stop thinking about it. I had my gloves on I wear for hand swelling at night and when I took it off in light I couldn't believe the difference it how it looked. Oh goodness. No wonder it's hurting even more. It's even redder and more swollen. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I called in at 8 when they opened and requested a call from the nurse. At 10 I called back again. What gives? You saw me yesterday, I'm not making this up. Finally at 1pm they called me back and said I needed a steroid Rx to help get the swelling under control. All fine and dandy but I could have started on it this am. Now I will be taking it in the evening when I haven't slept for 2 nights. Prednisone always keeps me awake. My pharmacist says, "didn't I see you here yesterday?". Yes sir, for the antibiotic. In my opinion they should have given me this then too. And yes, I was here Sunday also picking of three of the many others I take. That's why you know me by my name.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tuesday</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tuesday</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I get home and eat some yogurt and slam back 3 prednisone's and pray that I'm awake from that and not from the throbbing feeling all night. Unfortunately the one dose at 3pm didn't handle it. Now on Wednesday, day 5 of the onset I see something very scary looking under my skin and a small black area under nail. Of course this scares me. So another call goes in. When I reach someone I explain how many days I've taken antibiotic and i've started the prednisone. The doctor said to call if 3 days go by and it's not better or it starts to drain. It's not draining but it does feel like my finger will explode if it doesn't soon. So that means it's not better! I seriously thought about doing it myself. I wasn't scared of poking my self just inflicting the pain to drain it. They asked me to come in at 2:30 and I gladly agreed.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">He took one look and said he was surprised I was back. He really thought we caught it early before infection would get to that point. He froze a small area and did a little slice and started draining. It wasn't a pretty site and continued for some time to get it all. I'd never have imagined he would have got that much out of my finger. On the way home it felt so much better. Sore, but I didn't feel the throbbing. It was just really sore and tender. The tough part was he wanted me to try at least 3 more time before bedtime to squeeze some more infection out. UGH...I guess I can do this. Yes you can he said if you don't want to come see me again. I managed to get it done. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before doctor</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mg-qt3R8oks/UqJSGP1oBBI/AAAAAAAALb4/x4KSVvTb1j0/s1600/20131204_184829.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mg-qt3R8oks/UqJSGP1oBBI/AAAAAAAALb4/x4KSVvTb1j0/s1600/20131204_184829.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">4 hours later</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had mild throbbing and I slept so good. I still had to keep it propped up because it tried to swell up again. It got bumped and banged all day on Thursday. It's the pointer finger on my prominent hand so every thing I do uses it. Starting my car, unlock the door, writing, typing. As long as it doesn't go on as long as the elbow pain I'm good. I was feeling a little better that day and of course on the prednisone I feel like superwoman. I bit off a little to much. It was throbbing again this evening. It still looks amazingly better though. Not sure why the swelling is sticking around. I thought by Thursday night it would be gone but not yet.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Here it is Friday. When I show up for OT/PT both therapist and the hand specialist wanted to know the scoop on my finger. I showed them the pictures and of course they wanted me to uncover and see how it looked today. It's still swollen on the underside and numb. The hand specialist said if it was staff it will take a full 7-10 days to completely clear up. The OT was smiling at how excited I was that my arm/elbow feels perfectly normal on this prednisone. Of course I did have the dry needling done last week with the PT on my elbow so she deserves some credit too! I can't wait to finish the prednisone and see how it really feels. We did some more needling on my back today. Nothing fun about it but I think it's helping.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So there it is, between the FM pain and this nasty infection in my finger I just couldn't bring myself to type a post. I've been so tired. Not even checking my email. I really need to take a little time and get some of my surveys done before they kick me out of the program. I've done what I can to get a little exercise in. Trying not to worry too much because I've done ok with the WW's. I'd would like to have lost more but I gained one the week starting Thanksgiving and back down this week. You never know? Somehow I deleted my picture. You'll just have to take my word for it. lol</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'll be challenged next week starting my treat making for all my doctors and some neighbors I like to share with. I just try to lick the bowl instead of a sample. My husband and I didn't get to do anything for our anniversary so we are going to dinner tomorrow night. After we're going to stop by the outlet mall and after I pick up what is on my list for there, I will be really close to being finished shopping for Christmas. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xgn0cHtdpN4/UqJY3LcwYhI/AAAAAAAALco/NN7NVUnCrvs/s1600/2013-11-29+12.26.24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xgn0cHtdpN4/UqJY3LcwYhI/AAAAAAAALco/NN7NVUnCrvs/s1600/2013-11-29+12.26.24.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mom and I</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy Birthday D and mom</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Filled with H.O.P.E. this week especially. Hope everyone is enjoying this holiday time and not feeling stressed out over it. It will come and go no matter what we get done so take a deep breath and enjoy the reason for the season.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Theresa</span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-45475302216392623412013-11-18T21:08:00.001-06:002013-11-18T21:08:36.815-06:00Another down 2 to go<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">A little more progress! I'm now at the point WW's says I've met my goal. My real goal is 130 but according to them 132 is my "safe weight" goal. I'm ok with where I'm at, but I'd like to get there so I can splurge a little over the holidays.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Friday I saw my pain management doctor. We had a good talk about how things are going. I asked him if and when my elbow is better if I can try some needling on my back. He said it would be ok as long as she stays away from the leads going from spine to battery. He said they should talk first. When I go for my OT appointment this week I will discuss with the PT who does it and see if she will call him. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My back pain seems to be increasing lately. I think it's the weather. If there is some chance this will help I'm willing to try anything. Even if it's temporary. It would be nice to have a little relief over Christmas. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Now I can't seem to put anything in my buggy without looking for trans fat or Tertiary Butylhydroquinone. Commonly called TBHQ. TBHQ is a preservative which is made from butane. It's used to delay the onset of rancidness and greatly effects the storage life of food. You can find a lot of information just by googling "TBHQ" You will find people who disagree but I think there is enough evidence to stay away as much as possible. I don't think I can completely avoid it but I surely plan to try. Here are a couple things I found in my pantry.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">red bean seasonings </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">crackers</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I mentioned last week that D got my tree down and put together for me. It's all arranged and has been plugged in every night. Other than that it's just there. My daughter and grandson came to visit Saturday. We were going to decorate but never got around to it. We spent some time outside then had lunch. B even did some sewing for me while here. There is never a dull moment with P around. A good laugh and a lot of questions!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm so proud of my daughter. She is quite the homemaker. She has already made the new baby a blanket, outfits and some crochet for her hair. That girl can accomplish anything she puts her mind to. I can't seem to get past the dishcloth with my crocheting. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">finding ways to entertain himself!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3TUEwjUalz0/UomXKj0N6XI/AAAAAAAALas/HocBi5X9UZE/s1600/2013-11-16+11.31.39.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3TUEwjUalz0/UomXKj0N6XI/AAAAAAAALas/HocBi5X9UZE/s1600/2013-11-16+11.31.39.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">fixing my favorite shorts</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My granddaughter was supposed to come too but she became sick during the week so it was best for her to stay near her doctor. I got to ichat with her last night. We read some books and she sang some songs for me. Thank goodness for technology. Her grandmother there where she lives sent some pictures to share with me. Her preschool went to a pumpkin patch. Appears they had a grand time.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">shared by "Maw Maw" :-)</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I have actually bought a few Christmas presents. I saved the toy ad and both of my grandkids have circled toys they would like for Santa to bring them. This is a big help for Nonna. I'll bring it with me and hopefully that shopping trip will be successful too!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I can't believe Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away. I'm already getting anxiety about being prepared. It will all be fine and I have to remember that.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It's getting late. I'm closing to try and get some rest tonight. I've been having trouble sleeping through the night with my back and arm hurting together. It's been slow but I can finally say I'm showing signs of improvement. I've increased my number of reps the OT has me doing at home. The majority of the pain is at night again. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: purple; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Ha, I just completely forgot to hit publish. I signed on today to read some of the blogs I follow and see my post in drafts. Felt like I needed to explain why the days may not make sense!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: purple; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Have an awesome week. Watching DWTS can't wait to see who wins next week.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Not giving up H.O.P.E.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Theresa</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">BACK SAVERS</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bend at your hips not at your waist.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Avoid lying on your stomach.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lift heavy objects no higher than your waist.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sit down to put on socks, shoes, pants--don't bend over</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Get down on one knee before picking up</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a small child or infant from the floor.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When reading, don't bend your neck or shoulders --bring</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">your book up to your eyes by placing two pillows on your lap </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and propping the book on top of them.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-2990137614837881092013-11-10T22:22:00.002-06:002013-11-10T22:22:36.281-06:00Trans Fat...look for it!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm so thankful today was a better day. I accomplished a few things this morning and went to a Santa's workshop in the afternoon. When I got home D had the tree out for me and actually put it together. Now during the week I will work on spreading out the branches like I like them and add some lights. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm trying everything I can to get my arm better. I decided to try my tens unit I used to use on my back before the IPG was implanted. It really feels good. Wish I could sleep with it on!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The main reason of my post tonight is to share with you how good my home air popped popcorn turned out. I used 1 tablespoon of coconut oil and the serving size listed on bag.( 3 tablespoons ). I can't tell you the last time I popped popcorn on the stove. What made me do it today you ask? I admit I have an addiction to popcorn. Pretty much every night I have a mini bag of the microwave type. No butter, just the plain. 3 points on WW's. What better snack. Quick, easy and full of fiber. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A week ago I suddenly had a problem with the microwave type. I was watching Dr Oz and he was educating his audience about trans fat. Even though many food products promote on the front of the label "no trans fat" when you turn it over and read the ingredients you read things like "adds a dietarily insignificant amount of trans fat per serving" This is an example of Jolly Time 100 Calorie Healthy Pop. On the front of the box it says, "0g <b>TRANS FAT </b>in bold letters. I stopped by the store on the way home from the work shop to see if I could find some other popcorn without any secret ingredients I didn't want included. Dr. Oz noted that major health organizations have concluded that there is no safe amount of trans fat. Listing a lot of the foods it is still found in today microwave popcorn was one he noted. It worried me because I eat it regularly so even if it's a little it's a lot bad. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The FDA has made a preliminary recommendation that to eliminate artificial trans fat from processed foods. He feels this move will most likely save thousands of Americans lives from heart disease, the number one killer of both men and women. This really made me want to be more aware. I started reading all my labels in the pantry. Turns out I could NOT find a popcorn that was safe to buy. I bought a bag of popcorn kernels to pop at home. It turned out delicious! I'll never want microwave again. I really thought it would be a pain to pop it. It took 4 minutes and the coconut oil gave it such a great flavor. I added a tiny bit of salt. I can't say enough how flavorful it was. I dirtied a pot but other than that it was not mess or problem at all.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So..FYI be aware of your labels friends. Take the time to read ingredients. Trans fat leads to all kinds of problems. I don't know about you, but I surely don't need any additional. If you'd like to read more about the subject go to Dr. Oz's home page and type trans fat in the search bar. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I keep resetting my walking goal over and over. I'd meet the time limit I set and some of the time I haven't walked in the entire period. This time I made it! Tomorrow was my dead line ( I wasn't even aware of that ) When I walk I usually walk a mile or a little over. I've been trying to get to two for some time. So hurray for me! I made it today!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That's why I never give up H.O.P.E.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Theresa</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7613791477027189576.post-74187067936701621392013-11-10T00:14:00.000-06:002013-11-10T00:24:44.042-06:00Pajama Day<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">half a pound!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Today has definitely been a pajama day. D and I both have been battling the sinus yuck this week. Today that is a minor issue though. This morning everything hurt as usual. The difference was that nothing helped. Pain medication, 4 liquid advils, heating pad, ice pack, or my stimulator. For some reason I'm having a lot of muscle pain in my legs today. My arm is driving me nuts too. At OT yesterday we both agreed I was improving so whats up today? It's been a long time since I've given in to this wicked pain that seems to run my life at times. Today has surely been one of them. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I did some cooking last Sunday so I was happy to have something left to eat and not have to cook. WW's Chili for lunch and broccoli soup and sweet potato for supper. Killed both chili and soup just in time. I'm still in my pajamas at 3 pm. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So while I'm having to take this day of rest I'm watching some Christmas movies on LifeTime. I'm hoping it will help spread some cheer in me to get excited about this upcoming holiday season. I'm also charging my battery. Something I never want to sit still long enough to get done. We talked about decorating...wait <i>start</i> decorating this week end. I don't decorate in one week end. Last year I worked on my tree for two weeks. Hey, it got done though. I do what I can. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What is really bugging me right now is knowing that someone is unhappy with me and my husband. We both feel the same about having an enemy. We never want to have one. I've always let it bug me to death if someone was upset with me. Others would say, "so what it's their problem". I don't have to be best friends with them, but I don't ever want to be in a position that I have to avoid someone if I see them. Right now, I'm in that situation and I'll work hard until I change it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">During the early part of the summer my neighbor called me to the fence to talk to me. I didn't think anything of it because we talk at the fence often. I've shared plants with her. Shared baked goodies with her at Christmas last year. When I first met her I thought we'd get along great always because of a common bond. Pain. She's had hip and knee replacement. Back issues that cause her pain. Another words she's hurting all the time like me. She'd fuss at me when she'd see me doing something outside she thought I shouldn't be doing. It felt nice to know someone knew, or at least I thought, how I felt. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Back to the conversation at the fence. She told me she was really unhappy about the extra fencing my husband had put up for privacy. She said it looked really tacky on her side. ( I noted her and my husband deciding this earlier in the year in a post along with a picture )</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We added the additional height to fence because she was complaining to the neighbor on the other side of her and he shared with us. My husband just confronted her while he was outside working in the yard and she agreed it might be just the thing for her not to feel like we were invading her privacy. On this day though it was obvious that there was more to it than that. She had a tone in her voice I'd never heard before. She told me she wished we were more like the people who lived here before us. They didn't have so many things in their yard and they didn't invade her privacy. I told her we never intentionally look at her in her yard. I can see through the fence from my patio at anytime and see her when she is on her patio so I wasn't sure of the big deal. It turned into something ugly because I was so shocked at where it all was coming from. I ended up telling her I didn't like the way she was talking to me and I was going inside. Needless to say she was not happy with me that I stood up for myself and told her a few things she probably didn't want to hear either.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was in tears when I went inside. I couldn't let it go. My anxiety went right to the roof. I called D and couldn't reach him so I called our HOA president. She had already heard from my neighbor. What? I couldn't believe it. She told me she was about to drive down to her house and see for herself what all the hoop law was about. I asked if she'd give me a call after to tell me what was the REAL problem. An hour later our HOA president rang my bell. She came in and asked to go look in our back yard at our deck, fence, patio and shed. "Are you serious?", I asked her. She said in a nut shell that she's never liked the fact that we even have a deck around our pool so when we finished and started using it it just made her unhappier that we could see over the fence at times. Then we had the nerve to have a patio put up. I guess she didn't like the way it looked. We had it run past our patio on the side that is on her side to cover my husbands pit so when he is grilling and it may rain there is no problem. She swore it was going to drain in her yard. (even though we had gutters around the end ) The president said she had taken pictures while the people were installing the patio. She showed them to her that's how she knew.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There is so much more to the story, but I'll tell you bottom line is we believe she is just an unhappy person who doesn't want us to be happy either. I'd never thought that someone like herself (disabled) couldn't understand that I have to have the deck to get in and out of my pool. To be completely honest many times last summer when I was in there I thought of my neighbor and how she would benefit getting into the pool. I never took the time to ask her because I really thought she'd refuse anyway. Guess now I'll never now. I want to tell her but she would never believe me. The HOA president told me she was clear on one thing, she'd was going to do what ever it took to get us to take down our deck. We were definitely willing to take down the fencing because we never liked it anyway. She informed us that she would settle with just that. "What can we do?", I asked her. She wants your deck to come down too. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was so shocked. For sometime I let it eat me up. I was angry one day and so hurt the next. What did we ever do to have her feel this way. The houses that are behind ours, two to three down, have a party at least once a month. It starts early in the afternoon and goes late into night. Loud music, cheering, lights and obvious parting. Now if we can hear this from our patio I know she can hear it from hers. That my friends is something to complain about. We have never had anything even close to that. We hosted several small gatherings before and after this incident but saw nothing in these occasions that would cause her to be angry. We thought about contacting an attorney but decided to let sleeping dogs lay.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Nothing has been said the rest of the summer. I can't say it hasn't been on our minds. What is she up to? Did she decided to just let it go? Well, we got our answer. Wednesday night we had a HOA meeting at the library near out home. I was a little surprised to see her right there on the front row when I walked in. Oh my, I hope she isn't going to bring things up. Surely, she isn't. As we went through the agenda I held my breath through every topic. As the end neared she raised her hand and asked to talk about the grandfathering rule. At the previous meeting before this particular night that topic was discussed and voted on. A decision was made that anything that was erected during the time of no architectural committee (2009-2013) would be grandfathered in and we formed a new architectural committee to handle these types of issues in the future. (there are several other throughout the neighborhood) shocking, I know. My neighbor was clear to the board and our management company that she was not settling for that. She wanted something done. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">First of all, I should have never let her get me so upset. My blood pressure hit the roof along with my big mouth. I was hurting from 1) in general because it was the end of day 2) sitting in a chair for an hour and a half. I did get up a walk on the back row multiple times to stretch. 3) just the stress of wonder why, why, why. When she starting telling this complete stranger that we look at her over the fence, I just lost it. I told her, " Get over yourself, we do not want to look at you". My husband was so embarrassed. I was too later on. At the time I was pretty proud of my rude self stooping to her level. I'd just had enough. Past my chin, it was up to my mouth and I was chocking on it. Just what did she think she could do? I can tell you what ever she can, she will. And why? That's something we may never know I guess. It's a complete nightmare I can't stop worrying about.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The next evening our HOA president stopped me as I was walking my dog and wanted to talk about what happened. I told her I really didn't want to gossip and was so sorry I had such an awful outburst at my neighbor. I said I would be willing to apologize if she would listen to me. The president said to hold off because Saturday am the management company was meeting to discuss ours and some other neighborhood disputes. I forgot to mention as we left the meeting that night the management company asked us to send them pictures of the back yard and our pool with deck. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I had a discussion with an attorney on Friday regarding the matter and she made me feel a little better. She recommended since we will be living next to this woman for some time the best deal is to try and work anything out with her. She said to ask her to sit and talk with my husband and I and someone from the management company as a third party for a witness. The attorney said our best hope is to try and connect with her on a level she can relate to, our common chronic pain. Explaining to her how helpful and beneficial it is to me. Also, how I was interested in helping her out by letting her use the pool. If that did not help at all then let her go forward and we just sit back and see where she can go. Not far she is pretty confidant of. If she does, we will just need to call this attorney back and she will already be aware of what is going on. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My point in all of this goes back to what I said in the beginning. I'm loosing sleep over the fact that someone is unhappy with me. I really want to make it right. I don't really care who is wrong and who is right. I have to live next to this woman for some time. If I were to fall and knock myself out coming up the drive ( silly, I know but it could happen) I would feel better knowing she had enough compassion to call help for me. I would definitely do the same for her even if we hadn't cleared up the.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So enough about that drama. I took a break from this computer earlier and got wrapped up in a movie then let myself just roll right into the next one. Tomorrow no matter how I feel I have to get moving again no matter how hard. It's late, I'm closing. I'll fill you in if I get word of any new news. I can tell you I almost feel like a prisoner in my own home like she is watching my every move. I have to move past this. I'm going to keep thinking WWJD?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I know my answer will come. Good night everyone and I hope your pain is tolerable. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Living with H.O.P.E.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Theresa</span>My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00999356008665698457noreply@blogger.com0