Chronic Pain

A 51 year old female living and dealing with lumbar back pain and fibromyalgia. Sharing things I do for relief, reduce stress and control weight gain.

Monday, December 22, 2014

In Honor of our protectors

My heart has been hurting so much for the two police officers killed Saturday afternoon. 
They were on duty, in their car and never had a chance.  A crazy mad person who had a long criminal record approached their car, fired multiple shots and killed them.  This sick individual had shot his girlfriend earlier that morning and made it known through an instagram post what his next mission was.  This is what it said...

"I'm putting wings on the pigs today." "They take 1 of ours....Lets's take 2 of theirs, ending with "this may be my final post" #EricGarner #MichaelBrown #shootthepolice

I am so outraged.  These officers were working overtime as part of an anti-terrorism drill.
Being a police officer is a volunteer career.  I believe it's a calling.  Who in their right mind wants to leave their family every day and not know if they will return home or not? 
Sure, that's a risk for us all in this day and age, but we're not going out and intentionally put our life on the line for the American people. of the free.  The land where we have the right to protest something we believe is wrong or right.  No other country would allow us to do that.  Because of that right the police have been protecting protesters even though they were chanting "shoot the police".  Do you think you could do that?  My heart has been breaking for them since the beginning of this terrible terrible nightmare that started in August.  

Where would we be if no one wanted to be a police officer.  Who would protect us?  This brings up something else that makes me angry.  How can they protect us when everyone has available to them the same weapons that they carry to protect us.  They are being used to kill the very people who provide protection for us.  

Rafael Ramos was 40 years old with 2 sons.  They are left to grow up without their father.  His 13 year old son posted several posts today on his Facebook page that are so moving.  The Ramos family came out and spoke to the public today and said they forgive the killer because thats the kind of man Rafael Ramos was and that's what he would have wanted.  

Wenjian Liu was a newlywed of only two months.  He had served seven years on the force.
I heard a conversation on FOX News today from one of the broadcasters regarding Mr. Liu.  It was a story about him stopping by somewhere on his home one day when he was still in training and some friends asked him why he wanted to be a cop?  He said, " because you don't want to do it, a lot of people don't want to do it.  If no one does, how can we keep the people safe.  Someone has to do it, so I will."  

It's been said that Officer Liu & Officer Ramos never had the opportunity to draw weapons. They probably never saw their assailant.  We need to stand up for our police officers.  They get paid very little and have such an important job.  I've had a bad experience with an officer before but I'm not disrespectful to them because of it.   Four officers have suffered minor injuries in scuffles with protestors.  Two were attacked on the Brooklyn Bridge a week ago.  Still they have to go and protect the very people who are rioting against them.  What's wrong with our world?  

 I can't tell you how passionate I am about this.  You don't see people who support the NYPD out in the streets protesting now.  There is nothing but calm and an entire side walk filled with flowers and candles in honor of the fallen officers.  I'm praying for both of their families and urge you to do so too.  I've felt so helpless.  I have a voice so I'm using it.  I live where we have freedom of speech, so I'm speaking it.  

Teach your children to respect authority.  If the situation is bad,  just go with it and if your innocent it will work out.  Know your kids friends and where they are.  It starts in the home.  As I read about many of the thugs who kill cops and their own kind  I  find they have been living on the streets.  If they do have a home, they have one parent and it's usually a mother working two jobs to survive.  It's going to come to cops being hesitant to feeling safe to do their job due to these past acts of rioting and luting.  Innocent business owners losing their business that they spent years building up.   If they can't do their job where will we be?

RIP to everyone who has died in this unsettling battle of blacks vs cops.  Blacks believing cops hunt them down.  *Shame on ALL the hollywood stars and athletics who used that status to sing about bad cops and how "they ain't gonna stop til there people are free, go on national tv with their hands up when they obviously don't know the truth and wearing shirts to promote more uproar instead of calling for peace.  Let me fill you in....your people have been free.  Stop crying about it and act like educated, respectful, free people you could be.  

Praying for Peace and living with H.O.P.E.

*Samuel L Jackson
*LeBron James
*St. Louis Rams football players

Thursday, December 18, 2014

A lot to be Thankful for

Here we are a little over a month later from my last post.  I always have good intentions to blog, but getting on my computer has not been a priority.  Even though there are many holiday things I should or could be doing I've made me the priority.  Many days I've been resting or reading and thought I should update my readers and let them know how I'm doing.  Finally, here I am.

I saw my rheumatologist a week ago Monday.  On that day I had started the medication he recommended just 3 days before. To soon to tell anything yet.  I was shocked to hear him say that patients who have never been on an opioid have a higher percentage rate of it working.  What?  Now you tell me.  I'm always in that low percentage so I didn't like hearing this.  Never the less, I'm thrilled to no longer be taking the pain medication.  I'm at the point that every day that is a "normal" day my pain scale is level all day.  It never decreases, only increases with activity.  I can live with this much better than the highs and lows of the way narcotics effect you.  If this new medication will help my FM pain I will feel really good about the place I'm in right now.

The first Monday of December I saw my therapist and asked her if I could taper off of my antidepressant.  I really expected her to say no.  What I was taking is also good for anxiety so I didn't think she'd go for it.  At the end of our session she told me it was obvious to her that I was still hurting but she saw many differences.  The tone in my voice, the sound of hope, and some smiles.  (Geez, didn't realize I never smiled)  She said, "YES".  Woo hoo another one bites the dust. ( pills ).  I've been off it for 11 days.  So far so good.

I really believe everything I've been trying in the past and taking now was not helping because of the narcotic.  Last week I had a particular day that was tough for me.  That night I had hives by the time I went to bed on my arm on my hip on same side.  The next day I was down most of the day.  Sore muscles, nerve spasms in most of the FM tender points.  The good news is that I seem to be having fewer of these days.  If I'm at home and don't over exert myself with something out of my normal routine I can say I'm doing better.  Again, the day to day pain has been so much more manageable than before.  I know this is it.  This is my life.  I think part of dealing with it better is that I no longer have any idea of what "normal" feels like.  You don't miss what you don't remember.  I have no clue what it would feel like to wake up and feel well.  

I'm still walking as often as I can.  If you suffer from back pain and you can manage to get started it will be so beneficial for you.  If you don't do something to continue to strengthen it, it just gets weaker.  Does that mean it's chance.  I really do a lot of "I can do it" chanting and I listen to Christian music while I walk.  It has become therapy mentally and physically for me.  I get a natural "high" when I make it to the finish line.  It must be something like that for runners.  It is a big challenge, and you should take it on.  It is so worth the time you put into it.  Stretching after it must, so it adds a little more time.   If your going to do it, do it right so you really do some good.  I feel the best I feel all day for the first hour after my walk.  Web MD has some great stretches for people with lower back pain.  Do's and don'ts.  You have to make sure they are ok for your particular case.  

So what am I up to right now?  I'm recently obsessed with The O'Reilly Factor.  I've learned more about politics since the Michael Brown shooting than I've learned in my adult life.  Not to mention all the other things going on in this INSANE crazy world we live in.  

I'm making a reading list.  All of a sudden there are a lot of new books out I want to read.  Also some new music I'm interested in.  I'm not stressing out about Christmas.  What I get done, I will.  What I don't, I'm really not that concerned about it.  That's unusual for me.  

Going to the movie theater is not big on my list.  To hard to sit through the movie.  I'd love to see the Hobbit (The Battle of the Five Armies) and the theater.  If I go once a year that's a lot for me so I'm challenging myself.  There are some movies you just need to see on the big screen.  Last night my husband and I watched "When the Game Stands Tall"
It was awesome and I highly recommend it.  It's based on a true story.

What am I excited about.....what else? The Celebrity Apprentice is BACK! Jan 4.  A great cast of celebrities.  The only thing that makes up for the end of DWTS.
Alfonso was my pick from the beginning.  I was so happy for him.  Everyone in the final four was great though.  All deserving.  

Tomorrow will be two weeks on the new medication.  I really want to believe it's helping.  Time will tell.  Oh and one more thing.  I found some research that links hives with FM.  I've been doing a lot of trials of getting off of things to see if that was the cause.  I really believe I've found my answer, which is, they are not going anywhere.  Monday I had to have a biopsy for a spot on my arm and it just so happened that the other arm had several hives out.  I discussed with my dermatologist once more and showed him some pictures so he could see how many more I have at one time these days.  Not to mention the size of them seems to have increased.  He gently told me after this long I can't count on one thing, they are here to stay.  The good news is that studies have found that sometime in your 60's you "outgrow" them.  Such a hilarious term.  I'll be 50 in a few weeks. 10 down 10 to go.  Something to look forward to.

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a safe and fun New Year.

The joy in my heart
Thanksgiving day