Chronic Pain

A 51 year old female living and dealing with lumbar back pain and fibromyalgia. Sharing things I do for relief, reduce stress and control weight gain.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

What's going on....

My stimulator:  Spent some time with Mr. R this morning.  I'm happy to say for the first time in a long time that we had some success.  We added 3 new programs.  I had one that was the best of the 8 that I mostly used.  It was a program that runs for 20 minutes off for 10 then continues that cycle.  He tweaked that one a bit and made some improvements. The three new ones I'm excited about.  2 of them reach the area we've been trying to achieve for months. If I turn it up to high it does get into my stomach. It's very mild and 
nothing like the "pinching" and "zaps". I hope nothing moves.....please stay put and I think we're good for awhile :-)

My granddaughter:  Thank you to everyone who asked about her via emails.  We were all praying for her to fight through this.  It could have been much worse.  I went to stay with her a night in the hospital.  Seemed like I drove forever especially being dark.  I'm not night driver.  I try to avoid if all possible. 
The look on her face when I walked in made it all worth while.  She was starting to look and feel better but if you heard her cough or sat next to her while quite you could hear the nasty stuff in her chest.  She slept well that night and I got to meet her pediatrician the next morning.  She went home that day.
(Thursday)  Her doctor said she was still a sick little girl and needed to stay still and calm.  Activity starts her coughing and wheezing.  Between mom, maw maw and paw paw G they took such good care of her she's doing much better. Her mom text me this morning and said her x ray was clear today!  We are all so relieved she continues to show improvement.  
The day before I went.  A chance to get out of that bed.
doing her treatment <3
My Hives:I'm almost scared to mention that since early October I haven't had any hives! I continue to take the regimen the dermatologist has me on.  I do believe however a previous therapist was wrong about my hives being caused by stress.  If anything I'm under as much or more before the stimulator surgery and I'm hive free.  It may exacerbate them, but not the cause.  In all my research on hives during the three years I dealt with them I read numerous times that when you have chronic hives lasting more than several weeks they are not likely to go away and can last up to 3 years then be in remission.    That's what I believe has happened. The chances are likely they will return sometime during my lifetime. 

My son: no change.  I continue to pray every day.  I've continued to text and or call each day.  Most of the time it goes straight to voice mail.  I do know he is alive, my mom has received some texts from him.  Just a few words and when she tried calling right after or texting right back no answer no return call.  On Saturday he text and said he was going to see her but never showed.  Late Saturday night she received another saying he hadn't slept in 2 nights and was too tired and sleepy, will call tomorrow. (Sunday)  She never heard from him.  I've called the detective on his case but no news.

My anxiety:  A few months back in November I was having some chest pain and trouble breathing.  I saw necessary doctors and the gastroenterologist.  I did get answers from the gastroenterologist about the stomach pain I was having but he did not believe that was causing my chest pain and trouble breathing.  I had an anxiety attach that month but he felt my gastritis was not causing the symptoms.  I've stated several times to my husband that every since I've been on the medicine he prescribed I've been symptom free.  Stomach and chest pain. (started with omeprazole, now nexium) So I really thought it did have something to do with it.  

Last Friday it came back....with a vengeance!  It bothered me all week end and seemed to be better Monday but back again today.  I don't know what to think but I'm starting to believe that just because you don't think your anxious about things it shows in different ways.  I've been having to work hard at controlling my breathing so I don't have an anxiety attack again.  The last one landed me in the ER.  What's weird is it does seem to get worse when I eat.  So much so I've been dreading eating anything to avoid the onset.  I'm not about to schedule another appointment with a different doctor.  I've had 6 already this month. I'll manage.  I think I will email my GP.  She's awesome at getting right back with me.  My appointment with LL (my LCSW) was before my meet with Mr. R and of course we spent the entire time talking about my son.  Some days I feel really strong when I leave and somedays I cry all the way home.  Today was a cry day but I had to get over it quick before reaching the surgery center to meet Mr. R.

Pinterest:  To help keep my mind busy I've been on a kick of making things I see that are simple, easy ingredients, (nothing weird I don't already have around) and aren't to dangerous for gaining my weight back. lol.
Last week I told you about the egg muffins. (see last weeks post)  I loved them so much I made more this Sunday but changed the recipe up a little and used a muffin tin that makes the larger size and made the portion 1 instead of 2.
Skipped the sausage and added red and yellow bell pepper, a bit of half & half and some fat free cheese topped with green onions.  I like these better than the first batch.  That's what it's all about right?  Experimenting?

I tried a different kind of oatmeal cookies that I didn't care for.  Neither did D.  We ate a few but pitched the rest.  Never thought I'd throw out cookies. The first ones were awesome.  Next the mexican pizza.  Mine did't look as great as the picture shown but taste great.   Today I made the "no bake granola bars".  Tasty, but a little messy when eating. Best to keep in the freezer until ready to eat.  They soften quickly.
Mexican Pizza
No bake granola bars
Another busy:  I'm hooked on a new program.  SUITS!  If you watch it I know you love it.  If you do, it's worth taking the time to go back and watch the first 2 seasons.  Season 3 just started two weeks ago.  I talked about it enough that I got B interested and she's finished season one.  From Friday to Monday. I started the week end before that so I'm just as bad because I'm finished with season 2 now.  It's such a long wait from Thursday to Thursday now.  It was pretty cool to just pick up and watch an episode when ever I wanted.  You know what they say, "all good things will come to an end".  Not really the end, just a slow ride now.  I love having something good to watch when I'm charging, which I'm doing now, or riding my recumbent bike.

Enough for today.  Have a great hump day tomorrow.  I pray it will be they day I hear from my son as I've been praying for some time now.  My daughter and A's mom sent me some perfect scriptures for this situation that have been helpful to read every day.  I've gotten through another day and that's all I can ask for each day.

Good night and God Bless

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.  Elbert Hubbard 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


It has been so nice to see some sunshine stay around for several days.  Even better that it's been a little warmer.  On Sunday I decided to try and cook for several nights.  Made a pot of chili and my husband grilled so that gave me food for several nights this week.  I also made some egg muffins from a pinterest post.  I'm not taking credit, just sharing for any reader who don't follow pinterest.  I changed it up a little but for the most part everything the is same.  I'm trying to get some protein in for breakfast because I'm always hungry again an hour after eating.  Which is usually cereal or toast and then later some yogurt.  Before lunch time I'm starving again.  These taste great and very filling.  The pinner said two are good for her.  I agree.  Stays good in refrigerator for a week.

Started with a dozen eggs.  Added a little spice (optional).  The recipe calls for the eggs, cheese and green onions as a must.  Meat optional.  I decided to add turkey sausage.  That went in first then I added the cheese and green onion.  I realized after that they had added cheese to beaten eggs but I don't see that it made a difference.  

Then pour your egg to fill 3/4 of muffin cup.   Stir each one a little to mix ingredients with a fork.  Recipe said optional to add some half and half to egg mixture.  I chose not to but plan to try next time.  You can also choose anything that's a favorite instead of the sausage.
veggies...bell peppers, zucchini, broccoli etc. 
Ready for the oven.  I had some egg mix left so I put left over into a muffin pan that makes large muffins.  I made two like that.  In that case, one will be fine for breakfast instead of two small.  (my opinion) Make sure to put your eggs into large measuring cup or bowl with a pour spout to simplify things.  375 for 25-30 minutes.

and here they are
I followed instructions and after cooling put two each in ziplock and store in refrigerator.  Of course I had to sample a warm one.  The next day heated in microwave they tasted just as good.  I did find the large ones heat better if you break in the middle before heating.  So tasty and easy.  I also did some oatmeal cookies using no flour or butter method.  Also all over pinterest.  I used bananas, applesauce and almond milk in place.  Also added cranberries instead of raisons because that's what I prefer.  They had a different texture but taste great.   I don't feel so guilty having these!

My granddaughter is in the hospital with RSV pneumonia.  Poor thing just can't stay away from being sick.  She just recovered from bronchitis earlier this month.  Under the circumstances she has been a great patient I hear.  Maw Maw and mom have been keeping me posted.  

We still have not talked to her daddy.  For peace of mind and mainly because he NEEDS to know his daughter and his dad is sick I had to take drastic measures to find out why he is not responding.  For the last three days his phone has been going straight to voice mail and the carrier let us know no calls went out or in since these last four days.  I talked to a couple of his friends over the week end.  They haven't seen him.  I reported him missing so at least I will know he is ok.  If he doesn't want to talk to us that's fine but we need to know.  If something is wrong, I need to know that too.  He is deeply depressed so that alone is enough for me to think the worst.  He's has a lot of prayers going out for him.  I get up, go through another day and be thankful no bad news came and take the next day as it comes.  Same way I deal with this chronic back condition I deal with.

On a good note my psychologist moved me to every three months instead of every month.  I'm excited to have one less appointment in a month.  Next Tuesday I see Mr. R  for another try at reprogramming.  So many people who have a stimulator go to their doctor frustrated with it not working but they haven't seen their rep for adjustments.  I have it documented every time I've met with Mr. R and Lovely so he can't say that I haven't tried.  

Martha, please let me know what happened with your appointment.  I'm praying that it wasn't what you were thinking.  

Seems like every day I hear a song that even though I've heard it many times before but that day I hear it so differently.  Like it's being sung just for me this time.  Music is so much like prayer for me.  That night I text the words to my son because it fit for him too.  I've text him every day or night since Jan 3.  I have no way to know if he is even seeing or reading them.


Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you Stronger

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares


'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.  We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.  Tim Hansel

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

One day at a time

Driving in the car today as I stopped at a red light I saw a homeless man with a sign.  It simply said, "Hungry, please help".  I've seen them, male, female on the corner, under the interstate, at a stop sign.  Today two things crushed me.  One, the fact that it is so cold out side.  As I've said the last few posts, not just cold but wet and cold.  A constant drizzle.  It made me wonder once again if he has a place to sleep. The second took my breath away....that could be my son.  In all honestly I don't know that it's not.  Another day of no reply from him.  I won't stop.  No matter what he's done or hasn't done he's part of me, a part of my heart.  I don't know what hurts worse.  The heartache of not knowing he is ok, where he is or the heartache and anger that he is putting me and his family through.  My therapist says all these feelings are normal but I have to control them and not let them consume my life.  For the first time in the year I've been seeing her she seems concerned herself.  That scares me.  She is one tough lady.  She's has always told me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear.  It's tough right now to keep my anxiety out of overdrive.

I cooked three things yesterday.  The one that smelt the best I liked the least.  The broccoli cheddar soup was delicious! The banana oatmeal muffins were um um good!  The pineapple orange chicken was good but not great.  It is definitely another soup night.   Nothing like a hot bowl of soup when your cold.

My husband is such a gadget guy.  Leave it to him to find the oddest things for any room in the house.  Does anyone know what this is?

It stirs your food for you so you don't have to stand over it.  We tried it, it really works!  Not sure how much I'll use it.  I'm sure he will though.  Makes me think of the little round vacuum that roams around your house cleaning your floor.

I finally contacted Mr. R to set up a meeting to work with my stimulator.  Two weeks away.  I wasn't in a hurry, but did want to see him before my appointment in February with the PM doctor who did my surgery.  It's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't have one but it's so close that I know it would help if we could just get it in the right place and not have the zaps in my side and or stomach.  Story of my life......I'll just take it one day at a time waiting for another opportunity to improve.  Hoping, praying.  One day at a time struggling through the day trying not to worry so much about my son and not let it consume my day.  I will find something joyful everyday to help me through both of my struggles. 

Gift from my thoughtful husband. Guess he's trying to tell me  something.

Taking care of me....T

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Crock Pot Day

Only in Louisiana are you using heater on a Friday, air conditioner over the weekend then heater again on Monday morning.
Not to mention it's still raining, along with the cold. Even when it's not a down pour there is this nasty mist hanging around. That equals bad day instead of good day.  

I planned to go to the store yesterday but kept putting it off because I was waiting on the weather to clear up.  Not...never happened.  So today I set off first thing before the rain could start and picked up some ingredients to do some crock pot cooking. I figured since crock pot is so easy I'd do two.  Why not?  Don't you just love when dinner is ready when its time to eat?  I also love having something to eat the rest of the week with out cooking again.

Broccoli Cheddar Soup and Crock Pot Orange chicken.  Oh my goodness that one smells so good!  The Orange chicken came from Pinterest and couldn't tell you where the Broccoli soup came from.  I saw several on Pinterest but most were to rich and heavy for me.  I even made a few changes with this one. I'll let you know how they both turn out.

I have therapy this afternoon with my LCSW.  I plan to bake some oatmeal banana muffins when I get back.  Recipe seems to be healthy with no eggs and flour.  That's a lot of preparing and standing for a period of time for me.  I'm sure your wondering why I'm so excited about having two meals prepared and something for breakfast.  I don't do a lot of cooking any more unless its something I can put on and leave or something quick and easy to fix.  If I have to stand over stove and baby sit it not happening.  

No word from my son since January 3rd.  I text him everyday but no replies.  I know he is in a really dark deep place to not even be in touch with his family and especially his daughter.  It's getting harder and harder to explain things to her.  She's very bright and starting to understand something isn't right with her daddy.  She's even stopped asking when she is here where is and if she will see him. She used to ask every time on our way to my home if she would see him.  Now she only says her daddy lives in Baton Rouge huh?  It's like she knows she isn't going to see him.  

Whatever is keeping him from us and his daughter must have a big hold over him to shut us all out.  We've all put forth offers for help, advise someone to talk to. I feel like he is at rock bottom but apparently he's not.  I'd just like to know he is ok.  I'd also give anything for him to be strong enough to talk to his daughter when she wants to talk with him.  He says he can't handle it.  Nothing I can do or say will make him understand how important this time in her life is and how much she loves, need and want's to spend time with him.  That alone should be enough for him to seek help. I continue along with the rest of my family to pray for him, his daughter and their family.

In sadness searching for joy

 The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Don't believe everything you read

Of all the things yesterday I was trying to clean the grout on a specific area on my kitchen counter top. There is a pretty bad build up there and it's been driving me crazy.  So I jumped on pinterest to find out what the most popular method it. Clorox toilet bowl cleaner with bleach ( meaning it has bleach in it already) seemed to be the most pinned.  Lucky for me I had some of that around here.  I was thinking as I started this would be great.  It's in a jel form so not to messy and I have plenty if it works.  Instructions were to fill in grout lines and let sit for 10 minutes.  Then use whatever tool, toothbrush or scrubbing brush, rub it in and let it sit for another 5 minutes.  Nothing.  So I repeated a second time.  Nothing.  

Back to pinterest.  Ok, maybe the have a different type of grout than I do.  Next....2 cups water, 2 cups vinegar and 3 tablespoons of baking soda.  Turns out I felt like a scientist in a lab doing an experiment.  Water, vinegar fine then I put first of 3 tablespoons of baking soda.  Number one went it fine but when I added the second it was like an explosion.  It came bubbling over the 4 cup measuring cup I was using and all over the counter.  I don't remember it saying it would do this.  After this experience I had two cups of liquid left.  I tried it anyway.  I won't bore you with the instructions this time just tell you end result.  NOTHING.

Back to pinterest 3rd time.  Now I see a lot of pins using just baking soda and bleach.  3/4 cups bs and enough bleach to make a paste.  This looked like it would work.  D was hanging around by this time being curious.  "why don't you just try using straight bleach?" he asked me.  Um, would you like to take over this project?  I'll let you at anytime.  Needless to say that was a waste also.  Nothing at all. Then I tried D's idea of straight bleach.  A few areas got a little lighter.  Even with D's elbow grease it didn't budge.  Geez what a stubborn stain.  When I want to get something done I'm determined.


after trying 4 methods
So D asks, "why don't you try the Bissell Steamer?"  I replied, "none of those chemicals could take off that stubborn stain and you think steam will?"  It hasn't been out of the box since we moved 15 months ago.  He went off to piddle outside and I went for the step ladder and grabbed the Bissell.  If this works I wanted to hurry and try before he comes back in. LOL

No luck at all on the counter top.  Hate to say I told you so, but I did.  Just because I don't give up easy I decided to see if it made a difference on the floor.  I've never even dreamed of getting that cleaned.  Not by me anyway, maybe a professional.  I picked one of the worst areas in case it worked I'd be thrilled to have an area looking good. (dreamer) Once I had filled with distilled water and waited for it to say GO I got started.  The second I started I immediately say brown liquid coming up on both sides of the grout.  What? This can't be.  What's the difference?  I kept going until I ran out of steam.  Me and the Bissell.  I couldn't believe it.  I took some pictures but they just don't do it justice. 


It worked especially well where there was a lot of build up in front of stove and refrigerator. When D came back inside he definitely noticed the difference.  I knew I couldn't just go around doing the entire kitchen but I sure wanted to.  Sitting on the floor is the worst.  So I settled for doing a round then getting up to do laundry and other things and coming back every now and then to do another round.  In between I went a took a walk to stretch.  I'm paying for it but I think it's well worth it.  I'm still so puzzled as to  why it won't work on the counter top.  I tried it on my island.  There are a few spots darker than others but not like the area that bugs me.  Didn't work their either.  I give up on the counters but not the floor.  I intend to complete this project. Over time obviously.  D said he'll do some for me.  

A last note on the Bissell, if you have one on it works awesome for the build up in the corners of your cabinet that you just can't get to with a rag.  I've used a q-tip and various other things to get in those notches.  Never again.  This is quick and easy. It also just melts away any build up around your quarter round.  Please please don't sit on your kitchen floor and start looking around.  You'll be in shock!

As I was inserting the pictures for this post I once again tried to insert side by side.  Iv'e accomplished the task before but it was strictly by accident.  I googled it and it was a little detailed for me to figure out right now but I promise I'll work on it so you don't have to scroll forever to finish reading.

Have a blessed and peaceful Sunday.

   The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.


Saturday, January 12, 2013

New Year....more appointments

I've put off making some appointments until after the holidays passed.  I didn't do myself any favors because that just made more for this first quarter.  I've been dreading going to see my PM doctor with the troubles I've been having with my stimulator.  Why?  Because I know what he will have to say.  How?  Because my rep from St. Jude has prepared me.  I also know what I heard the day I went for the x ray back in October.  I have to do it though.  I can't continue to let this frustrate me.  I have a VERY expensive devise implanted in me that's not helping like it should and I'm not sure I'm willing to do either of the options he will give me.  Mr R is willing to try and work with me some more but I think we are beyond that point.

It was a yucky day today.  Still raining.  We all thought it was supposed to end yesterday and it's still hanging around, with more yet to come.  It was also yucky because I finally put the last of the money in the envelope to pay for the darn ticket I got in November.  Went to the bank and got the money order and sent it off in the mail.  Hated every minuted of it too!  Done get over it. lol  I made the appointment with my PM doctor.  Not until February. Ok by me I'm not in a hurry to see him.  I also scheduled my follow up appointment with the gastroenterologist.  It's on the 22nd, same day I have my monthly appointment with my psychologist.  I like that though, getting two over in one day.  

I still need to make two other appointments.  March is when I'm due for my yearly check with my dermatologist. Have to be cleared because of previous melanoma.  I'm a couple a months behind for the female one we all dread.   When I make that one I will go ahead and schedule the mammogram that I'm a couple of years past due for.  To many other things going on the past 2 years to even squeeze that in.  I put off any appointment I could.  I see my rheumatologist in March.  Three times a year.  I don't think there is any month that I don't have to see some sort of doctor.

My daughter brought me a little thank you/souvenir gift.  P had fun giving me the bag and then helping Nonna pull the tissue out.  It was a nice, larger size cup with the lid and straw.
I have one like it but much smaller that I've had a long time.  A long time considering how long people keep up with cups.  I love it.  It's bigger but the bottom is smaller so it fits in your car cup holder.  I've used it every day all week.

D finally had enough of me complaining about our dull knives.  For Christmas he got "us" some Guy Feiri knives.  They just happened to match my kitchen.  Red and black, cool.  Then he came up with a great way to keep them sharp.  He put up a magnetic strip so they don't dull in the drawer.   He's always coming up with some great idea around here.  He also got a nice sharpener to sharpen some of our better ones and place with the new ones.

Watching a news program the other day I looked up a couple of web sites they talked about.  Some of you may have seen it.  The segment was about millions of gift cards that are given at Christmas and not used.  This definitely caught my attention because I am so anti gift card.  ( I'm sure I've mentioned this before) 1 in 5 return a gift they get for Christmas.  There are 62 million dollars in unused gift cards a year.  If you get a gift card you won't use there is a web site that will buy it from you.  Really?  Isn't that crazy?  This site will buy a lot of things from you.  You can also shop there.  I checked it out briefly.  Some things are up to an 80% savings. They buy it,  have it tested, overhauled or whatever is appropriate to resale.  Maybe you've heard of it.

Another I found interesting is a site that buys clothes from you.  They have strict rules regarding what they will buy.  That's a good thing if you are the person shopping on the site.  All you have to do is go through your kids closet, your closet, dads closet.  You can even look up what they will pay you for it.  They send a bag to your house.  You fill it up with the clothes and drop off at one of the places the pre paid label allows.  That's it.  You sell some clothes and pick up a little cash to buy some new ones.  You can even just take a credit and shop there on their site. 

One last one.  I didn't investigate this one.  You can do that on your own if you are interested.  It's supposed to like They recycle your old electronic you have laying around in your junk drawer for cash.  Old cell phones, laptops, cameras, video games etc.  Happy shopping! 

Hugs to everyone
   The things you take for granted someone else is praying for. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A New Year and New Hope

I can't believe it is 2013.  I was 18 when my first child was born. In 1983. Age 21 for the second in 1986. Not recommend, but after the infant/toddler years I started to feel less stress and more freedom.  By the time the second graduated high school I decided it wasn't so bad after all to have had my children at such a young age.  I was just starting my forties and I had friends my age who had preschoolers.  When we moved into 1990 it seemed like so long ago that I was in grade school and even high school. Then came the millennium. Now here we are in the teen years of the 19th century.

So what is my New Year resolution?  To work harder on bringing Joy into my life.  To worry less.
To take one day at a time and not worry about everything that is ahead.  Last but not least, to remain hopeful that there is still hope for improvement for my back.

Our Christmas: We went to visit my husbands family on the Sunday before Christmas.  My husbands parents live in an assisted living home so it was nice to have them there for the day with us. The following day, (Christmas Eve) A came to visit.  We went riding Christmas eve night to look at lights.  She really enjoyed that and so did we.  It's been awhile since we've done that.  A wanted to take some pictures so I took some for her and let her take some herself.  She did pretty good!

Mom & Pop 3 sisters and a brother 
Sister & Spouse
Sister & Spouse

That night was rough for A.  She came with her pulmo-aid for breathing treatments and several medications.  We didn't miss anything but she still had a terrible night.  Up a lot durning night and coughing keeping her awake.  Christmas morning we stayed home and enjoyed a quite Christmas morning.  After gifts D and I both did some cooking to bring to my daughters home for dinner.  A was so excited to be seeing Aunt B and Uncle M  cousin P and most of all her daddy.  She picked out some pictures Aunt B took of her to put in a frame for her daddy and did her best at wrapping it herself.  She was so proud to watch him open it.

We had a nice evening, enjoyed dinner and of course the babies loved opening all their gifts.

Can't tell you how much I love this boy and girl!

 We made it home at a decent hour and got all of A's med's and breathing treatment done.  Another rough night.  She didn't get much sleep and coughed up a lot of mucus.  Not enough though.  She didn't have an appetite and didn't seem herself.  After her nap she felt really warm to me and she had 103 fever.  Time to get right back to mommy.  We threw everything in the car and drove to Lottie to meet her mom so she could take her to doctor the next day. 

The following day her fever spiked to 104.  Doctor said bronchitis.  After a week of antibiotics, medications and nebulizer a follow up x ray still showed a lot of mucus still there so then a round of steroids and we're now waiting to see what the next x tay shows.  She has her appetite back and no longer choking at night.  Just some mild coughing durning the day.  She came back this previous week end and it was so good to see her feeling better.

She said her Aunt B taught her to put her hand her hip like this <3

Our New Years:  New Years Eve P came to spend the night with us.  My daughter and her husband went to the Chick fil A bowl. ( sorry to mention that sore subject ).  He entertained us as usual.  That boy says the funniest things.  The bad news was he did not like the loud noise of fire works.  Second bad news, he wasn't feeling well.  Stuffy nose that was driving him nuts.  After the game we tried to settle and watch the New Years show to ring in the New Year.  The fireworks and the stuffy nose = no sleeping for P.  It was well after midnight before he went to sleep and I snuck some vics under his nose.  He woke up several times durning the night.  The next day he slept 3 hours for his nap.  I had to wake him up to go and meet his maw maw.

The next day, New Years Day was my birthday.  Add on another year.  No big deal.
2 more to go to "pass and ugly" as my mamma says.

I'm glad to get back to a normal routine again.  As hard as you try November & December can be tiring and stressful for anyone.  For me, it means added pain.  We've had a lot of rain for several days.  When it hasn't been raining it's been wet and damp. Those conditions make every thing worse.  I promise not to be away so long now that things have settled now.  My next post I'll fill you in on where I am with my stimulator.

My weight: Don't know how I pulled this off but from Thanksgiving to New Years I only gained 2 pounds back of the weight I lost.  I do not enjoy shopping so I did a lot of treat making for the special people I wanted a little something for.  A few neighbors, mail lady, some of my doctors and of course family. Even sent a package of treats to my mom.  D's family loves the turtles I make so I made a batch to bring there.  I also brought treats to B's house Christmas day.  So.... a lot of sweets in my face.  So hard to not taste and lick the spoon and bowl when making!  D liked helping me with that also. The good news is the sweets are all gone, and so is my 2 pounds.  I've been riding my recumbent bike more than getting a walk.  Especially with the weather.

At the start of this post I mentioned bringing joy into my life.  How?  To start, here is my new mantra below to repeat everyday until I believe it.  That may not happen soon, but it's a start.  What's important is that I'm going to try.  Things are not any better with my son's situation.  It brings added stress and worry to my chronic condition.  I remember last year praying so hard that this would be the year for things to turn around for him.  It didn't happen, they are worse.  So I'll start praying again a new prayer for him in 2013.  I've done everything possible to help him.  Every time I think , this is it he wants things to be this way. it doesn't take long to start feeling guilt.  His daughter needs her daddy and he needs his daughter.

Joy is the settled
assurance that God
is in control of all the 
details of my life, the quiet confidence
that ultimately everything is going to be all right,
and the determined
choice to praise
God in all things.
Kay Warren

Good night....