One day at a time

Driving in the car today as I stopped at a red light I saw a homeless man with a sign.  It simply said, "Hungry, please help".  I've seen them, male, female on the corner, under the interstate, at a stop sign.  Today two things crushed me.  One, the fact that it is so cold out side.  As I've said the last few posts, not just cold but wet and cold.  A constant drizzle.  It made me wonder once again if he has a place to sleep. The second took my breath away....that could be my son.  In all honestly I don't know that it's not.  Another day of no reply from him.  I won't stop.  No matter what he's done or hasn't done he's part of me, a part of my heart.  I don't know what hurts worse.  The heartache of not knowing he is ok, where he is or the heartache and anger that he is putting me and his family through.  My therapist says all these feelings are normal but I have to control them and not let them consume my life.  For the first time in the year I've been seeing her she seems concerned herself.  That scares me.  She is one tough lady.  She's has always told me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear.  It's tough right now to keep my anxiety out of overdrive.

I cooked three things yesterday.  The one that smelt the best I liked the least.  The broccoli cheddar soup was delicious! The banana oatmeal muffins were um um good!  The pineapple orange chicken was good but not great.  It is definitely another soup night.   Nothing like a hot bowl of soup when your cold.

My husband is such a gadget guy.  Leave it to him to find the oddest things for any room in the house.  Does anyone know what this is?

It stirs your food for you so you don't have to stand over it.  We tried it, it really works!  Not sure how much I'll use it.  I'm sure he will though.  Makes me think of the little round vacuum that roams around your house cleaning your floor.

I finally contacted Mr. R to set up a meeting to work with my stimulator.  Two weeks away.  I wasn't in a hurry, but did want to see him before my appointment in February with the PM doctor who did my surgery.  It's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't have one but it's so close that I know it would help if we could just get it in the right place and not have the zaps in my side and or stomach.  Story of my life......I'll just take it one day at a time waiting for another opportunity to improve.  Hoping, praying.  One day at a time struggling through the day trying not to worry so much about my son and not let it consume my day.  I will find something joyful everyday to help me through both of my struggles. 

Gift from my thoughtful husband. Guess he's trying to tell me  something.

Taking care of me....T