Chronic Pain

A 51 year old female living and dealing with lumbar back pain and fibromyalgia. Sharing things I do for relief, reduce stress and control weight gain.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Its been 2 weeks

I've skipped a few days of posting because I felt like if I didn't have any good news I shouldn't post anything at all.  I spent some time rereading a blog that I read just days after my PM doctor recommended a SCS for me.  It was really helpful because I went straight to her one month mark post.  A lot of what she wrote she was feeling or what her discomforts were I'm experiencing.  It made me feel a" little" better.  A lot of the comments that were left on her blog were also very helpful to the blues I'm having right now.  So now even though I feel like crap, emotionally I'm feeling a bit normal for what my body has been through 2 weeks ago.  

So, how am I feeling?  Dare you ask!  I'm not complaining I'm just being honest.  Monday we went to my daughter house for just a couple of hours.  The day before I had went out with D (my husband) to run a couple of errands.  No reason I couldn't.  The doctor said if I felt up to it it was ok to go out once or twice a week as long as I kept is short and followed the rules.  No lifting of more than 5 lbs., no bending over and no twisting at the waist and keep incision sites clean and dry.  (hard not to sweat if you go out)  Later in the evening on Memorial Day I started with this throbbing in my battery area.  It was a different pain that what I experienced that day "after" surgery.  This was like, I was getting better each day and then boom I took a step back ward!  I could not get comfortable for nothing.  No sitting,  no laying back in recliner, even to lay in the "softer" bed in guest room had become difficult again.  

This setback made me really nervous about my husband taking off my strips.  I was literally scared for him to remove them.  I just felt like since I was experiencing new pain that it meant it was to soon to take them off.  Ok, I reminded my self this is what the doctor told you to do.  He saw them last Wednesday.  Trust him, he knows best.  But I kept doubting that maybe they got worse since he saw them and maybe thats why it was hurting.  Needless to say, off they came Monday night and I was horrified by what I saw.  I'm sure it was a mental thing but I remember the bandages coming off after my back surgery and it not effecting me at all.  Matter of fact I was so impressed at how well it looked.  My surgeon did an excellent job of sewing me up.  A few weeks later after it was really starting to heal there was an area that you couldn't even see the red scar right in the middle of the incision. (btw, this was on my stomach not my back so it was easy to see)  This was so different.  They looked terrible.  I had been anxiously awaiting a shower but the sight of these incisions scared me so that I changed my mind.  It was a bad evening and night.  I didn't sleep hardly and it bummed me to be back in the bed! 

Tuesday morning I carefully took a shower.  Careful not to let the stinging water hit my incisions directly.  Before dressing I got the large hand held mirror out and took a look at the incisions into the big mirror and didn't like what I saw.  It upset me so much that I took pictures with my phone and text to my husband to see if he thought the looked same as the evening before.  He is my best answer because he can see back there and I can't.  He felt as though they looked as they did (red and puffy, some yellow area which I thought was infection!) because of the steam and heat of the shower.  Wait awhile and check them again was his advise.  No fever, no swelling, no drainage, no worries.  That was his advise, so I had to put away in my mind and move on.  One thing in particular that worried me was that when I would feel with my fingertips the incision on my back was a large bump that covered a big portion of the area.  It didn't feel like inflammation.  I thought I was feeling the lead and I was scared it had move out of place or something like that.  I was also shocked at how long the incision itself was.  I guess it was just an emotional experience for me to have yet 2 more scars on my body to remind me of this long pain journey I've been through.  

So move on to Wednesday.  It was planned the week before that my daughter would come back this Wednesday to take me out in the morning to an appointment I had and to take care of some personal business.  I did ok.  Getting in and out of car was the hardest.  I started to get pretty uncomfortable right before we got home.  We set out at 9 and were back home for 1.  As soon as I was home I got into my night gown and spent the rest of the afternoon/evening doing absolutely nothing.  I thought about reading, start painting, blogging, checking email.  Nothing, nothing to motivate me to get started.  I am expecting I realize now after rereading my friends ( I really feel like I know her and have a friendship with her) blog to much of my self.  I thought I'd be feeling so much better by now.  I seemed to have went up a hill then back down to start over.   

I was boohooing last night to my husband about the battery area still hurting.  Sitting is uncomfortable.  When I lean back in chair it is still just so tender.  I feel this "weight" feeling.  Like he placed a gym weight instead of a battery in there.  I guess that's why I've been so worried about the incision itself because of the pulling feeling.  After reading today, and come coaching on the phone from D,  I've convinced myself that everything I'm experiencing is perfectly normal and I'm right on track.  I need to stop feeling guilty that I still need rest.  

I am using the stimulator today.  For the first time since surgery I actually can feel the difference between post surgery pain and the "normal" back pain.  Some rain on the way and I definitely feel that pressure back there among other things.  And yes even though there is other pain involved it seems to be helping.  I have come back to this writing  twice but have sat for more than 20 minutes at a time which is something that was very difficult to do before. 

Speaking of "is it working?" that is something else I read about in refreshing myself with others experience that everyone wants to know that.  Is it working?  Was it worth it?  What percentage do you think it help?  It just confirms how lucky (chronic pain suffers) are to have such support from family and friends.  They only ask because they've been praying it help. You just have to understand what it's like for us to have been asked that question so many times through so many different procedures.  You just get tired of having a negative sounding outlook on things.  You stop believing its possible and you just don't want to talk about it.  But in the end we are so glad your there for us. 

Several friends have left messages on phone and text about coming over and bringing lunch or taking me on an errand.  I really thought I'd be there by now and that's probably one of the things that has me blue because I'm not.  I don't like how I am right now so I don't want to face anyone just yet.  Maybe next week.  I'm struggling with getting comfortable around the house and I sure don't want  company to watch me lay in bed.  LOL.  Please know that I love you for it and I promise I will be calling to take you up on your offer.  I have 4 weeks to go and I hope to God they won't all be like this.  Though I will say that at her (blogger friend) one month post surgery blog she still had a lot of discomfort I'm feeling.  Somehow, it still made me feel better.  I was expecting to be doing so much better than I am at this point so really I'm ok.  Turning my thoughts toward my next check by Dr. which is next Wednesday and I will stop fighting the need to rest and just do it. 
for any neurostimulator users that want to read another blog.  She has great sense of humor!

My son in law with grandson and my son with my granddaughter.  Memorial Day 2012

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Good start, bad end

I managed to get the hair washed this morning.  I went along with D to Lowe's and Pet Smart.  We went in his truck which is easier than getting in and out of my car.  I was doing ok so we decided since Wal Mart was right across the street we'd pick up a few things we needed around the house.  I was impressed at how well I did.  I was careful getting in and out not to twist.  It was a little tender leaning back in the seat, but not that bad.  When we got home I was still doing fine so I continued on piddling around doing minor things I can do.  

My son and his daughter stopped by on their way to my daughters house.  I was in the back of the house and she rang the door bell to let us know they were there.  When I came around the corner it was so cute seeing her standing outside the door with this cap on peeping in.  She looked so grown up.  After they left it was early afternoon and I suddenly realized my rump was throbbing.
I don't know why it came on so suddenly, but it did.  I got on the ice pack which was really uncomfortable but I thought that was the best thing to try.  It didn't really help much.  Its 10:30, 7 hours later and it hasn't eased up.  I know I didn't do anything wrong so I'm going to believe it was just from the walking I got in this morning.  Moving things around I guess?  Trying not to worry and see what tomorrow brings.  I just hope I feel better than this to see my babies tomorrow. I've really been looking forward to that.  I feel like trying to sleep tonight will be like it was on day 2 or 3. 

Another thing I'm looking forward to is taking a peek under the strips, which D will do.  If the areas that kept the bandages on look better, I can shower!  Yes!
If not I think I can any way we just have to dry well and put some ointment with a bandaid.  I'd rather hear they look good though.

This book I'm reading is so good.  If you are having problems with your back please get it from the library, on your nook or paper back.  Which ever you prefer. So many things I'm reading I just want to share with everyone I know. 
This is interesting:

"We are what we eat and that can cause back pain" is a statement that always causes patients to raise their eyebrows and look at me quizzically.  Have you ever had a hangover?  At some point most people have.  And how did you feel?  "Nauseous" and "achy all over" are usually among the symptoms.  If what you eat or drink has nothing to do with your musculoskeletal system, why do you feel so sick and achy after drinking to much?  Usually you take some kind of medication such as an anti-inflammatory or muscle relaxant.  Now can you see the chemical /dietary connection?

Because our bodies are very advanced machines, it makes sense that the quality of the "fuel" we put in it makes a difference.  Just as your car functions poorly with dirty oil or conks out without enough gas, your body relies on the excellence of what you put into it. 

I could keep going, it gets better and better.  I'm about half way.  I have my nose in a couple of things right now.  I'm gonna stop the jibber jabber and close.  Just dreading trying to get comfortable and actually sleep.  I really want to feel good for tomorrow.  Speaking of "bad fuel"  we thought the babies would like some donuts.  Something we NEVER have!  It's ok to splurge every now and then and have a treat.  We thought they'd like Nonna and Poppa showing up with "sweet treats" for breakfast.

Sneak peak of work in back yard.  D would be mad if he knew I was sharing.  He wants to have it "all" done before sharing.  It will always be a work in progress so I'd wait forever.  He added a small pond outside our bedroom window.  I'll probably put some of my plants around their also.  I'm just not up to being outside much right now to put my 2 cents in.

And lets not forget what tomorrow is all about.  Everyone will be celebrating with grilling and fun times with family and friends but we have to remember all the men and women who risk their lives to protect our freedom.  Enjoy the day.

The Gardenia 


Saturday, May 26, 2012

10 Days out

The days are dragging by but the good news is every day is better.  Yesterday the itching at incisions was a lot better.  Still needed the benadryl but it seemed to be helping now.  Bruising at the battery site is almost invisible and getting less and less tender as I lean back or rolling over in bed.  

My husband did a lot of work in back yard today.  So hard to just watch from inside.  I wanted to be out there digging in to help.  I haven't been able to do yard work for some time now.  Before D and I married I cut my own yard and I actually enjoyed it.  It gave me a good excuse to skip the gym, and get a little vitamin D while at it.  Yeah, I'd be paying after but not like the last 5-7 years have been.  A few ibuprofen and a hot bath and I'd be good to go again.  All I've been able to do since my back surgery is water and work with my pot plants.  As I said in previous posts D would put them up where I could reach for thinning or repotting.  I really hope when my wait is over that working in the yard is something I can do.  With hubby working out side most of day I was able to listen to music instead of tv and I sure enjoyed the oldies.  I wanted to put a picture of his work but he wants me to wait.....its not perfect yet! lol

I feel pretty useful today.  I made Dallas (dog) a blanket.  You know, the no sew fleece kind.  I'm always behind everyone else on easy craft things.  Apparently people have been making these forever and I just discovered it.  I like it, turned out ok.  Lets see how long it takes him to destroy!  He has to have a blanket to bury himself under but he also loves to chew on his precious blanket too.  We're not doing to bad, he will be 8 in October and we are on the third blanket.  He had the first one the longest.  

I'm reading a book titled "The Truth about Back Pain".  Written by a chiropractor.  His dad was a chiropractor as well that in his 50's I believe started having back pain.  In trying to heal his own self discovered a lot about what structural problems, chemical actions, and emotional stress can cause pain in many different areas of our body especially the back.  It is often misdiagnosed because this theory is not know by some doctors.  He notes that you can have a structural problem,(herniated disc) but the real cause of the pain may be a combination of two or three of the above mentioned.  He states its rarely one catastrophic event but several situations combining to create back pain (like the winds gathering to create a perfect storm). Any one of these factors or a combination thereof can be the one that catapults you into unbearable agony. His words.

When I read some of this I felt for the first time that someone I don't even know understands what I've been feeling.  He mentions at one point that if your about to have surgery to at least finish and try his diet and core strengthening before.  "What can it hurt?" he asks.  You can only come out better off and maybe get healthier while your at it.  If I had read 6 months ago I might have given it a try but its been way to long and a lot of what I've read as far as the stretches I've been doing for years.  I fully believe in that part of his reasoning. 

Having crawfish for supper.  We think this may be the last time we enjoy some.  The season will end early this year.  I've been about all day.  Only one 30 minute rest around 1.  I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is.  Not just because I had surgery 10 days ago but because for a long time now its been do a little, rest.  Do a little rest.  D wants to watch a movie so I need to wrap it up.  

Tomorrow morning he's going to Lowe's and Pet Smart.  Not to interested in either, but boy do I want to get out of the house.  I think if he'll help me wash my hair in the morning I'll tag along and see how I do.  Its really ok for me to go out just not supposed to get hot and of course its difficult to get in and out of car without twisting.  I just have to be careful.  It will be 6 weeks before I'm allowed to drive. Yuck, I hate that part!  Monday we will go to my daughter and son in laws for a short visit.  I'll get to see both grand babies, something to look forward to.  Yeah....  I'm hoping that visit will test my back pain because taking it easy around here is not.  

I hope everyone who travels this Memorial Day week end will have a relaxing and enjoyable trip and return home safely.  I understand a storm is a possible threat to FL?  
GNA Theresa

I think he approves!

Thursday, May 24, 2012


Not much news today.  Matter of fact it was pretty boring.  My excitement consisted of taking a walk down the street with Poppa to walk Dallas for the first time.  Mine, not Dallas.  My hair looks so bad I put on a hat :-(
It's a bit warm for me to be outside with my incisions not completely healed because sweating would be bad.  Hence, no showers!  We kept it short.

The other excitement was receiving a package.  When D came home from work he went out to check mail and saw box at front door.  It's amazing that you can be home and UPS or Fed X can leave a package at your door and your not even aware.  Believe me, if they would have even knocked I would have know because Dallas would bark.  He barks if the wind blows!  99.9% of the time when a package comes I'm completely aware of what's inside.  Even if it's for D he tells me he is expecting one so I know.  I wasn't aware of anything on order for D or myself.  He said, "it's for you".  "Someone sent you flowers".  We'll my sweet husband is known for sending me flowers.  I just knew it was him.  I've even tried to talk him out of it before. (he likes to send me roses)  I know, you can't believe I'm complaining about that.  I'm just so frugal about some things.  I say get the cheap ones they last longer.  Anyway, he helps me open box and I see right away from the top its a plant! I love plants.  It was a Gardenia.  
My dad and mom has gardenias on property line on east side of their home.  They are blooming right now.  My mom just mentioned when she was here last week that she cut just a few and brought inside and the entire house smelt good. The smell when it blooms will remind me of home.  It has buds on it, they will bloom soon.  I will do some reading on the shrub tomorrow.

The new bandage on my incisions is driving me crazy.  I have had Benadryl three times today.  I seriously could claw myself.  I believe he forgot about my tape allergy and put the kind that breaks me out on.  D says no, he was watching but something is definitely different.  

I slept a little better since the area the battery is in is not so "big" any longer.  It's still pretty tender though.  I woke up feeling so stiff I could hardly move.  I really had to push myself to get moving.  After I was up and dressed, had breakfast, it got better.  I did ice a couple of times today which seemed to help.  I also used my stimulator 3 different times throughout the day.  I figure the more I practice turning it on and off I'll be ready for when it is really needed.  Pretty cool using the magnet to turn on and off.  I didn't use the remote at all today.

My husband was home for the morning, he went to work at noon.  He spent the morning working in back yard.  Since he's been my caretaker this week he figured it was a good time to start on a project in back yard.  We put a fountain out back at Easter time but he has been wanting to put a small pond in with a rock garden around it.  That's what he's been working on.  By the end of his long week end I'm sure he'll have a big part of it done.  This morning he got the hole dug.  A few days ago he killed the grass in the area the rocks will go.  I'm telling you all this because I'm watching from the window wishing I could be back there helping or working on my plants.  I have some that need to be thinned out and some winter flowers that need to GO.  It's just killing me to look at these things and not be able to do any of it.  On Saturday he will set me up a place to work on my plants where I don't have to bend over.  Where we used to live we had a picnic table in the back yard and he used to put projects for me to work on all the time there.  We're missing that here.  Also missing my swing.  I'm going to take some pictures of the work in progress tomorrow to show.  He also put up a shade sail off of the patio to give some additional shade.  I'll need to find the perfect place for my Gardenia.  I really want to do that myself, but thats doubtful.  

Oh yeah!  I never mentioned who sent the plant.  It was from the couple I nanny for and of course baby C.  They are the kindest people I've known in some time.  When we plant a new fruit tree we will name it in honor of my dad.  (we left 2 behind at previous home that we watched grow from baby plant to blooming tree)  Maybe we will name the Gardenia after baby C.  Thank you.  It's a very special gift and I love it.

I've had a few friends ask about coming by.  Next week will be perfect.  I'm bored silly now so when I'm even better I know it will kill me not to be able to get out.  Next week I'll feel better about having company too because I can wash and style my hair. It just makes a big difference.  Before starting this writing tonight I had my "fake"bath I call it.  I have a chair in tub and D mounted a shower head from faucet so I could control where water goes.  It has really came in handy since surgery but it's just not the same of the water going everywhere and not washing your hair at same time.  I know boo hoo, it could be worse.  Its the least of my discomfort so I shouldn't even mention it.  Just explaining why I'm not really up for company right now.

Good night everyone. xxx ooo to my sweet granddaughter A.  Nonna is missing you and looking at your pictures to make me smile.  And of course I'm miss P.  Funny boy.  He definitely makes Nonna laugh.  I have a couple of videos of him giggling that make me smile I like to look at over again.  

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

7 Day check

Today started out good.  My daughter came to help out with some chores around here and I had a special request that she was happy to fill for me.  I went to bed last night craving a McDonald's biscuit.  Go figure?  I never get anything from McDonald's.   Just tired of what I have around here.  You forget what a luxury it is to drive your self somewhere, like the store.

We did several loads of  laundry, B cleaned my tile floors and we did some catching up.  It was nice to have some company.  I mean, I love my husband and my dog but the last 5 days its been just them.   Then she managed to wash my hair over the sink for me.  It was nice to have it clean and styled.  Found something comfortable to wear and whew, I was worn out already.  D came in about 12:30 so B was able to go on with her day and finish her own work and we headed off to the Dr. office.  I had to laugh, my husband asked if I washed my hair.  You mean you can't tell?  It doesn't look much different to me.  Sounds rude if you didn't know him because he's really a sweet, kind man.  He was just being honest.  He told me he just don't notice those kind of things.  

I brought all my SCS stuff with me.  The remote with paddle, the charger, the magnet and the manual.  They had told me not to worry about fooling with the bag with charger in it they would explain at my first appointment.  Dr. Graham came in first.  After all the small talk I dropped my skirt and he starting taking the bandages off.  Darn that tape coming of hurt.  He said it looked great, just two small areas that weren't completely closed.  He put the steri stips on but put bandages back but smaller ones.  So no shower until Monday.  Dru gets to play Dr. and take them off and check to see if closed.  If not, he said just some ointment and a bandaid.  Then I CAN shower.  I also have to continue brace until Monday.  He said the pressure helps fluid from building up and causing problems at surgery area.  5 more days, I can take it.   I have to return to see Dr. Graham in 2 weeks which will be 3 weeks out from surgery.  At that time I believe he will allow me to start some brisk walking for exercise.

Now I can see that the incision on my spine runs vertical.  For someone reason all this time I just assumed it ran horizontal.  I also assumed that the on my butt cheek would be larger but its just the opposite.  The one running along my spine is longer and D couldn't believe that the one where battery is wasn't bigger.  That's the one that hurts too!.  Turns out it's the smaller of the two.  I don't know how they get in there and do so much work in such a small area.

After Dr. Graham was done R came in and worked with me on some new settings.  We took off the 2 old ones and added 3 new programs.  He spent some time showing me how and when to recharge.  I most likely, being that I had to go with the larger battery, will not need to recharge but once every two to three weeks.  Depending on how long at a time I use it.  If it works like I'm hoping it will, that sucker will be running all my awake hours.  There was also this big white magnet shaped like a horse shoe.  If I have the magnet with me and not the remote with paddle I can just pass it over the battery and it shuts if right off.  If I want to turn back on it comes back on by passing the magnet over the battery (in my butt) again and it comes back on to same program slowly increasing to the level of intensity it was at.  If I want to change the intensity or program I have to use the remote with paddle.  Pretty easy and cool once it was all explained.  I left with it on and kept on until I started working on this.  We made a stop at Wal Mart on the way home to pick up a few things.  It felt strange to be out after a week of being home.  

I'm pretty sore now.  Considering I've done not much of anything the last 7 days I'm pretty tired with the full day I had.  My behind is sore.  All that padding is gone now so I feel every little thing.  I'm hoping tonight will be different and I can lay on my back without all that packing there if won't be so uncomfortable.  I think Dr. Graham and R both were surprised at how well I was doing.  They don't understand how long I've been dealing with pain.  Not a big deal, I'm used to it.  R asked me, "well, how bad was it?"  I told him the trial was much harder.  He said I was the first patient that ever told him that and he was surprised to hear me say that.

Now its just wait and heal.  As I am released to do more, my back pain will return and I will begin to use stimulator more and more.  I'll get a true feeling for how it is working then.
Right now I'm just playing around with it to get used to it.  It will do nothing for the surgery pain.  

I've been getting text from friends and family checking on me.  I really appreciate it.  I haven't responded because I just don't know what to say.  I'm getting, "is it working?"  I know thats a natural question to ask but it will take time to really know how much relief I will get from it.  Dr. Graham said some people are back to normal and don't need any adjustments by the 3 month mark.  Some is 6 or 9.  What I do know is that I'm confidant that it is going to be BETTER.  Better was all I was praying for because I've understood from start that I may only get up to 50% relief.  And 50% is better than none.  

This week end will be two weeks since I've seen either of my grandchildren.  I miss them terribly.  The are my greatest joy.  Also miss baby C.  The lady who is filling in for me happens to be a friend of mine so she text me a picture of her today.  She will change so much in 6 weeks.  I can't wait to go back and care for her.  Hopefully she will be one of my visitors later on.

A couple of people asked this week about coming by.  I'd prefer we wait until next week because I'm still getting around kinda slow and I'm just uncomfortable being unable to shower and keep up with my hair.  I know you girls understand.  Next week should be much better though and I'd love to have company every day!  Seriously!

The picture is an x-ray after they had the leads in place before the placed the battery.  R asked me if I wanted to take a picture with my phone because he couldn't email.  You can see the paddle lead in center and two smaller on the sides of that one.

I'll be back soon.  

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

7 Day check tomorrow

Tomorrow is 1 week check.  Can't believe it was last Wednesday that we had surgery.  I say we because my husband has been through so many procedures and surgeries with me that it really happens to both of us.  He's been great.  Not sure what to do, but constantly asking.  What do I need to do?

B, my daughter, is coming tomorrow morning bearing biscuits from McDonalds.  Not sure what came over me but around 9 tonight I was having a craving a biscuit for  breakfast.  I never eat breakfast out but its on her way, she doesn't mind and it's something different.  

Not to much to tell, same as yesterday.  I spent a good part of the day down.  On the couch or in bed.  Sitting and laying on my back is uncomfortable.  My left side is starting to be numb from resting that way all the time.  When I sit it feels like I'm sitting on a big rock.  When I try to lay on my back it feels like I have a mans wallet in my back pocket.  I should probably get back on the ice there may be some swelling going on.   Hopefully this doesn't change the doctors plans on taking bandages.  Very little sleep last night due to the hives. :-(

If I feel ok after D will stop my store and pick up a few things for around her.

Oh well, I'm positive things will go great.  Good night everyone and Happy Hump Dayl
For once my eyes are heavy and I feel sleepy.  We'll see.  Depends on how quick my hip and side gets numb.  Adding a picture of Dallas in my chair.  Every time I get up he quickly jumps in it to keep it warm for me. lol

Monday, May 21, 2012

5 days later

Yesterday was a better day, the best I'd say.  I was moving around pretty good.  The hives seemed to be under control and I could actually sleep in more than one position in bed.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?  Backslide today.  The battery area is all of a sudden really sore again.  The last few days I didn't even know it was there unless I bumped it or was in bed and tried to roll over in bed.  Today when I woke up the hives were back this time on the back of my thighs.  Lots of them.  My stitches are itching under my bandages.  When I walk I can feel the soreness of battery in my buttock and I've been nauseas all day.  

I can't wait to see the doctor on Wednesday. 2 reasons,  I'm so hopeful he will take off the bandages.  Why is that so important?  Because I can shower if he does.  No baths, but a shower.  No bath, but a shower is better than a sponge bath for sure. 2nd Just to get out of the house for a short time.  The bright side of today was D washing my hair 4 me.  That made be feel a teeny bit better.  I'm also hoping he'll say I can quit wearing this belt.  I think it may be causing a lot of the additional hives.  

My neighbor made dinner for D and I yesterday.  It was pork roast with corn and black eye peas and yummy brownies for dessert.   It was so kind of her.  

I used my stimulator twice today.  Also touched base with R (St. Jude Rep) to see if he was going to be at my appointment on Wednesday so he could do some fine tuning for me.  People have asked, "is it helping yet"? "Can you tell if its going to work"?  The answer is no, I can't and no I don't know.  I won't until the biggest part of the healing is done.  The stimulator will not help with the surgery areas.  It's strictly for the pain in my back which I've had very little of while being on such light duty around here.  I'm sure in the next couple of weeks as I begin to be more active, doing things that normally cause my back pain I'll be able to tell.  

So long HOUSE , you'll be missed.  I didn't watch the first two seasons maybe I can do that while I'm home for a while.  

Saturday, May 19, 2012

No changes

Not much news today.  The hives are still kicking my butt, literally.  I don't know if I mentioned previously but I have to wear this soft belt that starts at my breast and down past my waist line.  Any pressure on my body causes a out break of the hives.  They are still all over my arms but this morning they were all around my waist line and around bandages.  I sure hope this doesn't continue until I see the doctor Wednesday.  I can't take any thing more than what I'm dealing with.  The swelling in my lip and cheek finally went down around noon.  Trying something different tonight by wrapping the belt around my night gown instead of under to see if it makes a difference. 

It's only been 4 days but it feels like weeks.  When I'm feeling better and can sit up for longer periods at a time I have a list to start on.  I want to do some painting.  A book I'm looking forward to reading and some internet shopping for a medical id bracelet.  St. Jude gives you a card but to keep on you but when I'm traveling in a car I'd like to have the bracelet because I think it would be more noticeable.  I looked a little before surgery but I need to search some more bc they were really expensive.  What's the card for?  It states I have an implant and I cannot receive an MRI and if at an airport I would want to show to security so I can skip the scanners.  It can cause an increase in stimulation or mess it up completely.  

Didn't make it outside today.  I wasn't any worse but no improvement.  Not bothered by that.  All in all if the hives weren't showing their mean selves I'd be doing well.  From what I read in my book it my incision sites look good Wednesday I will have bandages off with some steri strips and I think I can shower again.  I sure hope so!  I will also slowly begin to start walking for exercise using my stimulator to reduce pain in doing so.  The bending and twisting rule remains for 4-6 weeks. My doctor will make that decision.  

My husband has been great.  He always has to help me with things I can't do on a daily basis already so I guess he don't feel its a lot different.  Well, maybe a little.  We watched a movie tonight.  I bought a Zoo.  It was ok, little boring to me but I'm happy I saw it.  Can't wait to see the season finale of Apprentice and Sister Wives tomorrow night.  D and I have watched all the Jesse Stone series together also and a new one airs tomorrow night.  Thank goodness for DVR. 
Everyone have a relaxing Sunday with your family.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Which one hurts most?

Today started out a little better. I was able to move a little faster and get out of bed by myself. Mom and I were up at 6am. Dallas realized he was alone in the room he was sleeping in so he felt the need to get us up. Had a little bite to eat and we all went back down after Dallas was satisfied.

Decided I wasn't getting in bed today. Keep moving I was thinking and I won't get so stiff like I do over night. You know your mama is always right, she kept telling me I was doing to much but I was so proud of myself pressing on through the pain. UNTIL it caught up with me. Most of the afternoon I stayed up front not doing much of anything. I thought of reading, checking email, TV but I was just to uncomfortable for anything. My mom left around 3 I wanted her to get out of town before the traffic was to bad.

When my husband got home he helped me with my "sponge bath". That was no piece of cake. This will be the longest 7 days. I'm so longing a shower. The worst part of the day has nothing to do with the surgery but the out break of my chronic hives. I had three small ones the day of surgery and none yesterday but they made up for it today. All around both of my arms near edge of gown and in several in hip area. This is not uncommon I deal with them 3-5 days a week but this is so much worse with the other pain added in. I've taken everything I can for them and put every kind of cream but these are really being stubborn. I think their pain induced. My therapist begs to differ. He says it's anxiety. I'm not anxious right now but I am however in PAIN! My allergist said hives are not caused by anxiety but can definitely aggravate them. I have my own answer bc I experience it.

So day 3 tomorrow. I'm hoping to feel like getting dressed and maybe go in back yard to feel some sunshine. It's only been two days but I feel so cooped up. It's going to be a long 6 weeks. Hope my hive picture doesn't scare you! My right lip and cheek are swollen too. We'll see what tomorrow brings. GNA

Thursday, May 17, 2012

So glad its over

When we made it to surgery center I was only patient there.  They were waiting for me!  The front desk did my paper work and they brought me right back.  Shortest amount of time I've ever spent before going back.  After all the usual pre surgery questions and IV started Dr. Graham came in to talk to me.  Asked me if I had any questions and he talked with D and I for awhile.  He wanted to be clear with me that it wouldn't be to bad that day but by the night or next morning I'd feel like he beat me with a baseball bat. ( His exact words!)  He also told me not to worry about fooling with the stimulator to much because I probably wouldn't be able to feel my normal back pain with the two new surgery sites.  I told him to just make sure he had me sleeping well during the cutting.  All my other visits i was awake even though I was supposed to be somewhat out of it and not remember.  I'm hard to sedate.  He told me don't worry, you will be asleep.

Then the anesthesiologist walked me back and took me to the meat locker.  Helped me up on the dreaded table with a huge wedge and pillow under my hips with my behind exposed to all. No time to be modest.  I had no choice.  The were really nice to me.  Put a warm blanket across my shoulders while they prepped by back.  Then the anesthesiologist gave me a shot of something to take the edge off because I had the shakes really bad.  My blood pressure was hight also when we came in but that was because I was hurting so bad.  (Didn't take any of my meds before going).  When they had me ready Dr. Graham and R (my rep from St. Jude) came in.  They told me night night and we'll wake you up soon for you to tell us where your feeling the stimulations.  It seemed like it went so fast but it had been about an hour.  They asked a lot of questions about where I felt the stimulation and they would make adjustment and we'd go through routine again.  Thank God I couldn't feel them moving it around like I did with the trial.  Finally we were at a place we were all happy with and the put me back to sleep to close the middle incision and make one for the battery and implant it in.  Total time was two hours before I was awake again.  I remember them helping me move from the table to gurney.  Thinking of that now, I don't know how in the heck it happened because I can hardly move at this point.  

I had the shakes really bad and my blood pressure was high but I heard nurse tell D that was common and thats whey they keep you an hour to make sure it comes down.  Durning the time I was waiting the time out and letting my pressure come down the St. Jude rep went over some things with my husband.  He said same thing as doc.  Don't feel bad about not using it because most doctors don't even send it home with you until you come for first week
check.  He put 2 programs for me and said we'd talk a lot about it next Wednesday when I see Dr. Graham.  So at 11:00 they let me leave.  Ride home was bearable and my daughter drove in right behind D.  He had to go to office for a couple of hours because he was going out of town today and there were things he had to do plus get some prescriptions for me.

B and I talked and had lunch and I was moving around pretty good.  She kept asking me, "don't you want to go lay down"?  No, I'm sore and stiff but its not so bad.  I was thinking, its not as bad as I expected.  Thought it was going to be worse.  All I can say is that both areas must have still been numb because right around 5 o'clock it hit me.  All of a sudden I was to my Knees literally.  I couldn't sit, couldn't lay down.  I could barely lay on the side the implant was not on but that was hard also because I could feel the pulling so to speak and I just couldn't relax.  Then it hit me.  Dummy, he gave you rx for a reason.  I took the pain med and muscle relaxer.  I'd like to say they put me to sleep but they didn't.  Late in the morning around 3 I finally fell asleep.  When I heard D up getting ready for work I realized I couldn't move a muscle in my body without it hurting.  Btw, my mom was there.  She came in the night before.  Darn this is bad, this is the base ball beating he was telling me about.  It was an act of congress to get me out of bed to the bath room.  My back surgery couldn't touch this.  That was a breeze.  

It's been a long hard day.  I hope it gets better tomorrow, I'll take the same, just please don't be worse.  I hate not being able to move and adjust my self in the bed.  To just turn to my side is awful.  I did some ice a couple of times today.  Just have to be careful with that because my bandages can't be wet.  The meds help a little.  Just enough to get me up to bathroom and to eat a bite here and there.  My mom has been such a treasure to have here.  She's suffering herself with some leg pain and soreness from an injection in her back last Friday.  She'll go home tomorrow when D gets in form out of town and D will stay home with me next week.  

This is my first time being able to sit up in a chair to type this.  I'm just dreading getting up.  As much as my back hurt all the time you just couldn't imagine something else could hurt worse.  I did try using my stimulation today.  My legs were hurting also but it didn't go well.  My mom wanted me to leave it alone because I was loosing my temper with it.  I was hurting so bad I just couldn't concentrate in the instructions.  I watched the DVD twice.  I'll try again on the week end.  

I'm just so anxious to get past all this pain and healing so I will know how much the stimulator will help me.  I understand 7-10 days will be a big difference.  I'll hang in there it has to get better.  I sure would love a hot shower!  Only sponge baths until next Wednesday when they take bandages off and stitches on outside out.  Then they'll put the little steri strips like they used on the incisions for the melanoma.  Then I can shower.  Woo hoo.  Don't know what I'm going to do about my hair.  Not to bad yet but but in few days I'll have to figure something out.  I'm absolutely not going 7 days without washing my hair.  No bending, twisting or raising hands over my head, so I'll have to come up with something very creative to get it done.  My wonderful husband said don't worry when I get home we'll figure out a way.  I'm so lucky....<3

I hope tonights a little easier, but I don't think so.  It's pretty hard to find a way to get comfortable.  Late night television will help me through it.  Keep my mind off the pain.  It just feels so weird to feel that big bulge in my back side but it will go down I understand.  Patience, Patience.  I'm going to make myself get around some more tomorrow.  Getting stiff in bed is not good either.  I just don't know what to do with my self when I do get up.  Nothing is comfortable.  I told my mom there is know way if I'm not better I'll ride in a car on Wednesday.  I'm sure I will be or they wouldn't expect you to be able to do it.  

At least tonight was one of my tv nights.  LOL.  I watch tv on Sunday and Thursday nights.
Missing, Person of Interest and Awake.  It's the only shows D and I both like and watch together.  

My mom gave me all the messages for everyone who text and called her.  I feel the love and prayers. Thank you all.  Time will tell.  Later.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Night Before

Had a wonderful day caring for baby C.  She is super sweet and was happy to see me.  I haven't seen her in two weeks.  The day went by fast just like I hoped.  It's amazing at that age  the changes they make in such a short time.  Wish you could see how cute she is :-)

I came home to a surprise message on the answering machine.  The surgical center said to be there at 6:50 and procedure time was 7:20 along with some other instructions.  Bathing with antibacterial soap, nothing after midnight.....this ain't my first rodeo.  LOL  The surprise was that I have in my phone 7:20 and surgery time 7:50.  It was also confirmed on a voice mail on my phone from the doctor office yesterday.  I'm going at 7:20 I couldn't bear to sit there an extra 30 minutes hungry, hurting and they have the most uncomfortable chairs. 

I'm honestly getting a little scared.  I've had 4 surgeries, 4 injections in my back, a discography, and my nerves burned at the facet joints and wasn't scared at all.  But this is it.  I truly believed in the all 4 surgeries that they were needed and best for my health.  This time I'm not so sure.  I'm determined to hang in there with them until we get it right, I'm just scared until it actually happens.  It's hard to keep believing when you've been through all I have.  I'm just praying there are no complications.  All but one of the surgeries I had something go wrong.  This one has to be complication free.

I wish they could just keep me sleeping a week or two until the two incisions are better.  How in the world am I going to sleep?  We all know rest is part of healing.  My first back surgery they went through my tummy.  So my side and back was just fine for sleeping.  During the trial you had to be really careful turning over at night so that you didn't pull the leads out.  If so, your out of luck.  You just get the time you did.  So with the real deals in I'm wondering how do you move around in bed?  I'm scared to death to be on my side for fear of moving the leads out of place and I can't imagine lying on my back with 2 incisions and a battery sewn in my buttock.  It will all work out I have to believe it will.

I'm watching America's Got Talent.  I love this show.  Some of the talent is just real honest humble people.  A man just sang that gave me goose bumps.  He had a three week ol baby.  I was guessing, was he singing to girlfriend or baby?  A few things still on the list.  I better close.  Wish me luck on some sleep tonight.  Those who know me know sleep is not usual for me on a normal night.  It's gotten so much worse with the back pain and I'm so nervous tonight.  

On a good note, a shout out to my Godson who is graduating high school.  He is a fine young man.  He should be, he had the best examples for parents ever.  Old friends never die.  Congratulations Daniel.  I'm so proud of you and hope all your dreams come true.  I'm truly so sorry I won't be there.  I had every intention.  It's been in my calendar for a year.  I'll be thinking of you.

Good night everyone


2 days and whose counting :-(

I was awake until 2 am this morning so needless to say I got a slow and late start this morning on my to do list.  First up therapy with my social worker.  I really like her a lot.  We did decided if I need to talk to her before I can make a trip in she is willing to do a phone secession with me.  Other wise I'll go in as soon as I feel well enough to go into town and sit with her for an hour.  I do a lot of pacing during that hour.  My appointment was a 12 and as soon as closed the door to leave I realized I'd locked my self out.  Thank goodness I had my purse.  I have a spare key for car but not for house.  I need to take care of that.  At least I was able to leave an keep my appointment.  My husband was in the field today and just so happen he was heading back to office and passing my way.  He dropped of a key for me in the back yard.  

I went to bank, CVS, Walgreens and Wal Mart.  Then I had to rest for an hour when I got home.  About 4 I kicked into overdrive and made my self wash 3 loads of clothes and vacuum and steam my floors.  Dusting and then I quit.  At least something will feel ok about leaving here Wednesday morning.  My house will be clean even though it killed me to get it done.  Tomorrow I'll go to baby C's house and play with her.  We have a good time.  Its tough for me some time but I'm very much appreciated and C makes me smile and forget about what else is going on in the world and even though the pain in there and nagging me I don't dwell on it was much as when I'm home.  3 things left on the list for when I get in after 5 tomorrow.   That will be a challenge because when I get home form babysitting I usually don;t do much of anything.  Hit the heating pad for sure.

From the time of last June up until March of this year I have been in the process of getting approved for a trail test.  I saw the SW that was recommended until he felt I was ready to go back and see the Psychologist and be retested.  That was in February I believe.  Everything went well and he sent a letter to my pain management doctor stating i was ready for the trial.  I scheduled it for the first Friday in April.  It was done at the surgery center where all the other injections and nerve blogs and such had been done.  They know me over there now.  I've become a regular.  Not that I'm bragging.  Hope I never see that place again after Wednesday.  So it was same ol routine.  We get there. Pay, sign a bunch of papers and wait.  Wait while your thirsty, hungry and hurting like hell without your pain meds.  I did however take my anxiety medicine because I don't know if I would have went through without it.  After we went back, they starting reading all the same ol same ol stuff and reviewing my meds.  Doc came by to see me and answer any questions.  Then the rep from St. Jude ( he'll be R) came by to see if I wanted to talk to him about anything.  He explained he would be in surgery room and working with me after on some settings to try at home to help see if this was going to lessen my pain.  

We went into that freezing room where they warn you NOT TO TOUCH anything on the table.  They always have to help me up on that high table.  The little stool just don't cut it when your back dosen't work right.  Then the lovely part comes where they stuff this pillow under your hips so your butt is stuck up in the air for all to see.  I really don't care anymore I'm used to it.  I have gotten to know all of them but now I have a new visitor in the room.  R.  He is there so that when the leads are placed they can talk to me and find out where I'm feeling them and work with me if its not in the right place.  Your pretty alert through the entire process..  After they were in and I was in the "step down" area to be watched R sat with me and worked some programs with me.  After they had me up and dressed.  Remember durning trial nothing is implanted the leads are coming out of your back and kind of swing around to the side.  The have a piece on the end that sticks into the stimulator remote for you to operate what program you want and the intenseness of it.  By the time the starting getting me up and he was still trying to work with me I couldn't sit in the chair I was to uncomfortable.  The numbness was starting to wear off and I could fell spasms in my back starting.  ( I will have something to take for that this time).  Over all it wasn't to bad.  It was uncomfortable sleeping if you wanted the stimulator on because of the wires hanging by your side.  YOu have to cautious.  If you pull one out you loose that connection. 

By Saturday morning my upper back was hurting pretty bad.  Soreness and spasms.  I couldn't lay down, I couldn't sit in chair because I couldn't stand anything touching my back.  the first night was difficult but it got better and the next night then the next.  I had the leads removed on Turesday.  A different rep from St. Jude had met me in at the PM clinic on Monday am to see it she could get some different programs working for me to try out the next 24 hours.  We just could not reach the spot that hurt me the worst.
I felt it every where, my legs, down to my feet, my stomach.  If it would just wrap around my stomach where it is to the back life would be grand.  We just couldn't reach that area.  The good news is that at least the sensation was pleasant.  Some people do not like the way it feels so it is not comforting to them.

On Tuesday doc said he wanted me to see the doctor that does the implant and talk with him about my chances of reducing pain more with a different kind of lead.  The ones on each side were small and round and the one he will put in the middle space called a  paddle lead. It sends the signals down instead of out in a circle like the long spaghetti like leads.  They will put me to sleep, make the first incision and place the leads and next the paddle down the middle.  They will then wake me and R will work with me to see where I am feeling the stimulation.  Hopefully this time we'll have a winner.  It didn't quite reach the area of my back I needed last time.  When we're fished with that back out I go for the cut in the booty to place the battery and sew me up there also.  Beyond that I don't know what else will take place. I guess thats what you'll find out on Thursday morning.  I hope those little buggers go in smoothly.  The he said the paddles can give him fits some time.  

D will be with me and B(my daughter) will meet us there so D can go to work for a couple of hours.  He has to go out of town the next morning so my mom will be staying with me Wednesday evening until Friday when D gets back home.  

I better call it a night because I have to get up at 5;30 and its 12:00.  I know I can't sleep with my back hurting and D next to me snoring like a train.  I just can't sleep through noise.  Sorry can't do it.  I'm making a move to another room.  I need a few hours to get through tomorrow.

I'll say hello tomorrow night, short and sweet then I'm not sure what to expect.  I hope to update Wednesday night but thats up to God now isn't it.  Thanks for sticking around.  Please feel free after, if you are making decisions about this to ask any questions.  Another persons blog I read was actually at a year before everything was just right but she was happy she finally got there and it changed her life.  She was then saying she was glad she did it.  Before with all the trials of getting stimulation right she wasn't so sure.

Good night everyone.  Sweet Dreams everywhere.

Monday, May 14, 2012

It's Mothers Day and 3 days from surgery

Happy Mothers day to all the moms out there.  Hope you had a peaceful day with your children and family.  I didn't see my mom but she will be here on Wednesday.  I did see my daughter, son and my "babies".  I guess I will soon have to stop calling them my babies.  On the way to my daughters house my granddaughter starting talking about her next birthday.  She has it planned already.  Her talking, I'm 2 and half (so impressed with the half) and on my birthday I tree.  I gonna have food, boons and presents.  Yeah, A sounds like fun.  It will be here before you know it.  The visit was short but we had a great time.  A always talks about Aunt B's "big pool".  

I'm really getting nervous.  I know I've made the right decision but its the after that I'm scared of.  Every surgery I've had, thats what I was fearful of.  Not the procedure itself, but after.  When your home, hurting and your not sure what is normal and whats not.  

So on my way home from the doctor I saw at Tulane I received a call from the St. Jude rep to answer any questions I had.  He talked to me almost the entire way home.  The doctor did some blood work to test for an infection in my bone (spine)  He also recommended for me to see a doctor who in his opinion was the best in US.  In LaCombe, what is the best doctor doing in LaCombe?  So, if I like this doctor I guess I should follow through and see ONE more.  I knew I'd rely a lot on what my husband thought about everything.  By the time I got home I had to go to bed and get on ice and heat.  I could hardly walk from the car ride.  My leg was still hurting me and I was taking Lyrica for that. After resting a couple of hours I got on my computer to see what the sighs are if you have a bone infections.  Of course I had plenty of them and convinced myself this was the answer.  But of course I'd have to wait several days to hear back from the doctor.  My husband thought I should call the doctor in Lacombe and see about an appointment even without the results bc it could take some time to get one.

I didn't hear back from them for a couple days because this particular doctor was only in the office a couple of days a week.  They told me initially it would be a couple of weeks before they could get me in.  Of course I was terribly disappointed.  Patience, something I don't have much of when it comes to getting answers about my back.  When they did call back he had talked to doctor at Tulane and he had discussed everything about my treatment with him.  He asked the staff to get me in that week.  Again, my husband drove me there so I could keep seat laid back.  It was an hour away.  I like this doctor also.  Shocked by his age.  Probably in his 80's.  He just sat and talked with my husband and I like we were the only people there and he all the time in the world.  Seriously.  He discussed a detailed procedure with me that involved more surgery on the same area and I'd already been told that it would hard to reach my fusion area because of the type of hardware I had.  He felt like I should have some bone taken and tested.  So what happens if you find something wrong there.  Well you'd need more surgery in that area.  It wouldn't be easy.  And who would do this surgery?  The doctor I saw at Tulane.  OMG, I'm so confused.  But before any of that he wanted me to have a bone scan done.  It's the only thing anyone has not done and I think its important.  I wanted to cry.  Another test. I don't thing I can do it.  He also wanted just some simple x-rays done but in certain positions.  Bending over and bent at side.  He wrote some scripts for all of those and asked me to come back to see him when I had the results of everything.  Ok, I've done everything else thats been asked, so I'll do this.  Why, because I"M SICK OF HURTING!  Does anyone get it?  Btw, the blood work did not show any infection in my bone.  Of course not, that would be to simple.

I start working on these appointments for the x-rays and bone scan appointments the next day.  I remember the bone scan appointment for sure.  It was the day after the 4th of July.  My mom came to go with me.  I had to go early in am and they put the dye in your veins and you go back 2 hours later for the test.  I just didn't think it could do it alone.  Between the pain I'd been dealing with and everything else in last few weeks I was weak.  Like I said earlier, I was depressed but just didn't know it.  

Meanwhile, my appointment arrived with the Psychologist.  I was so nervous.  First they had warned me it would most likely take around two hours for the text then instead of coming back on another day she managed to get me my consult with him an hour after testing.  So that meant I'd be sitting in a chair for some time.  Just the thought of that made me keep crying about the appointment.  The day came and answering all the questions were complete torture.  I didn't think I'd ever finish.  Long story short he reviewed with me my results of tests.  I was borderline depressed almost over the line for full blown depression but he said it was easily controlled.  He made a change in the depression medicine I was on and added an anxiety medicine.  So now I'm up to 5 or 6 RX's now.  Pain med, hive med, antidepressant, and anxiety med.  I'm sure I'm forgetting something.  He was to busy to treat me so he referred me to a LCSW that I had no choice but to see because if I decided on the SCS I need the letter from him to be able to get approval from insurance co.  Right now he said I was to anxious and depressed for it to work for me properly.  He claimed that with treatment and medicine changes that my results of the trail would go  a lot better.  Sounds reasonable, what choice do I have?  

It took 2 weeks to find a SW that took my insurance and could see me sometime that month.  By this time it was time to go back to see OBGYN and see if the birth control pills worked.  They did, but new ones had appeared.  So another month of them and lets do this again.  Sure, I love laying flat on my back on the table and having an vaginal ultra sound.  Then I get to go sit and wait in your office for an hour or two.  But no problem I should be used to staying in the doctors office these last months.

The Psychologist didn't talk to me at all about tapering of the Zoloft before starting the Cymbalta. I just stopped one and started another.  While in the OBGYN office which was on day 2 of the Cymbalta I just started bawling uncontrollably.  They brought me to back to talk to the nurse but I was so upset I couldn't even talk.  It was so embarrassing.  Never in my like have I felt so out of control.  I could not control the crying and had no idea why.  The nurse there after talking to me explained what she thought was going on.  She said you should have slowly tapered off of Zoloft and started on super low dose of Cymbalta at same time until Zoloft was out of your system.  I'd heard of meds you don't just quit taking but hey, I was following advise of my Psychologist.  This went on for 3 days.  I didn't leave the house and my poor husband was probably scared out of his wits.  I'm sure he'd thought I'd lost my mind.  So did I.  Once the Cymbalta started working and the Zoloft was gone I started feeling better.  At least emotionally.  I was still scared to go back to see my OBGYN.  I felt like everyone there would remember me for what happened.  That was in July so I didn't go back til around November I think.  

I started seeing the LCSW once a week.  I went back to see the Specialist in Lacombe with all my reports he asked for.  The bone scan was ok.  The report showed "activity" at L4/L5 area.  He said that meant inflammation.  Yeah, I knew that.  He had changed his plan of action when I went back and had talked to Tulane doctor again.  Now he agreeded that a SCS or pain pump would be best for me.  I still wasn't so sure.  I had time though.  The insurance wouldn't agree to anything until they received release letter from Psychologist.  The Psychologist didn't want to see me again until LCSW felt I was better and was not so anxious about my entire health problem.  I really liked them and was even thinking that if I did decided to do the stimulator I'd possible do the implant there.  Or maybe the trial there.  

Meanwhile I needed a refill on a medicine so I had appointment with my PM doctor here. I told him about the different doctors I'd seen.  He seemed very understanding about me seeing another doctor for an opinion.  He explained the difference between the stimulator he uses and why and what they use.  So at the is point we had to all sit back and wait.  I asked him about a recumbent bike and was that ok for me to be on.  He was agreeable and would be good for me.  We started shopping for one.  I really thought it would help my frame of mind if I could get back to exercising and stretching.  

All for tonight.  I'm tired.  We're getting close to finishing history and to surgery date.  I'm glad I've read some other blogs and or reviews on what to expect.  I hope there is no complications.  A lot to do tomorrow.  I want to push myself to have my house clean to start off.  I know it won't last long.  I have some shopping to do when I get my body working in the morning.  So it will be a full day.  I'll do what I can.  On Tuesday I will be keeping baby C.  I haven't seen her in two weeks.  I bet she has changed.  A perfect thing for me to be doing the day before.  She'll keep me from thinking about it all day.  I will miss seeing her.

Good Night Mothers.  Hope you enjoyed your day.