The week end

You know the people you work with can become like your family.  After all sometime you spend more time with them than you "real" family.  Something I miss about working.  I received an invitation to get together with them Saturday evening.  Things can change quickly.  It started out as 10.  By Friday night it was down to 5 and by Saturday morning 3.  Everyone had legit reasons and lets face it, it's pretty hard to have that big of a group to all be available on the same date.  We're going to try again soon though.  My therapist would have been happy to hear I was getting out of the house with friends.

When the plans cancelled I made a list of places I needed to go.  I wasn't going to try that if the dinner was on but since it had been postponed I made my list and decided to walk before I bathed and took off.  As I started my walk I could feel my battery starting to move around and become uncomfortable.  I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do this or not.  After about 10 minutes into it I had to hold my hand and put pressure on it to continue walking.
I usually try to do 30 minutes but I struggled to get through.  I know for sure something has to be done.

When I came in I decided to try something different.  I've been wearing a pain patch every other day.  On the opposite day using aspercream, mineral ice, heating pad I could keep going.  My husband had me try some capsaicin a few years ago and I had a terrible reaction to it.  It burned my back like it was on fire and it literally had a huge red circle on my back where it was burning.  It took several hours to go away.  Stopped the pain all right, I couldn't feel anything else.  Well, I decided to try roll on aspercream.   No mess, easy to roll on.  The cream works good for a short time so figured the roll on would penetrate even better.  NOT..... Had the same exact reaction.  A big ball of stinging fire again.  It felt like the redness on my back was going to turn into blisters.   By the time I bathed, got ready and ran my errands I had to lie down until it was time to go eat.

You see, my husband jumped on the idea that if I had plans to go out that I should keep them,  just with my him instead of my friends.  He had crawfish a couple of times already this year but not me.  I'd been wanting some.  I couldn't say no since he was offering. So he decided to take me out for crawfish.  They were great!  Nice and spicy, just the way I like them.  If your lips aren't burning then they aren't hot enough.  Just about all the times I had crawfish last year they were pretty bland.  Not these, Yummy!

When we got home I was pretty uncomfortable after the long drive on Friday and a full day Saturday.  I took my pain medicine as soon as I got in and two hours later took 3/ 200 mg ibuprofen.  Several hours later it seemed worse instead of better.  I haven't had this intense pain in awhile.  By the time I went to bed I had to take more pain med.  When it gets out of hand like that it's so hard to get under control again.  

Today was no different.  I had a restless night.  Every time I turned over in the bed my battery hurt.  Placing pressure if I ended on that side.  I got up determined not to let it beat me.  I had plans to cook a huge batch of red beans. Some for me during week and some for my son and his kind friend who is letting him stay there while he gets on his feet again.  He's doing great by the way.  I'll update you on that next post.  

Tomorrow morning is my appointment with PM doctor to go over options for getting rid of this battery discomfort.  I kind of know what he will tell, me thanks to Mr. R, but I guess the doc will need an answer from me.  I'm going to have to see someone again soon for more reprogramming.  The two Mr. R added are just not cutting it.  I told my husband I think I will give Lovely a try again.  Sometime you just need a different way of trying to reprogram to be successful.  

We opened our pool today which made me think more negative about fixing my battery issue.  Just when it will be warm enough to get in I'll be healing and have to stay out for 2-3 weeks.  I know.....complain complain.  It's just getting so old.  I have to vent sometime.  I'd just like to get up one day and feel normal.  

  closed/opened

pic of extra fencing

Our neighbor mentioned to the treasurer of the HOA who happens to live on the other side of her that she felt like our deck being midway up the fence was an invasion of her privacy.  She likes to go outside in her nightgown through out the day to smoke or take her dog out.   We really didn't have a problem with it because it made us uncomfortable when we were up there able to see over the fence into her yard anyhow.  I actually tried to avoid it.   After some time the boards will all be the same color anyway.  

Some different views.  Took the temperature and it was 60 degrees.  We took a sample to the pool place and they said we're good to go.  Pumps running again and hopeful after a couple weeks of sunshine on the water all day it will warm enough to get in.  I can't wait.  Feels so good and relaxing for my back. 

D is back at making the beer.  His first batch was a big hit so he's making some more.  Every one that he gave a bottle to said they really enjoyed it.  I think I was the only person who didn't try it.  My daughter is like me, having no taste for beer but thought if she was going to drink some it may be the one she'd try.   She said it was not bad.

God Bless everyone and hug those babies!

Staying strong....Theresa

I mentioned in last post I'd like to share with you one of the two poems the daughter in law  wrote for my cancer fighting friend.  Jeannie's youngest son is a pilot and so is his wife.  To make some sense you also need to know they like to hunt and Jeannie and Ed lost a daughter (Maggie years back) Jeannie was diagnosed on Oct 1, 2010.

The Way to Go

October first took a turn for the worst.

One of those days you would like to curse.

They went to visit her at the grave.

Flowers were brought and then they were laid.

Seventeen years have gone past, 

since they laid her there, down to rest.

It's opening day so I'm on the stand,

waiting to hear the results from the scan.

He called to tell me the news of his mother. 

It was about what they had discovered.

Hearing the painful sound of the word. 

We all asked if it could be cured.

The answer was no, not now, nor ever, 

unless its the plans of our greatest creator.

They said that she's barely alive.

It's already at stage five.

So we loaded our things and packed up clothes. 

We both knew where we wanted to go.

It was just some pains like she had before, 

but it took her to the doctors door.

You should be dead are the words he said. 

Your liver, your colon, is where it's spread.

Just two years ran through our ears,

that's the time she has left here.

Her chemo started while turning fifty-three, 

all we could do is pray from our knees.

So once a week she took the beaten, 

waiting to hear that it has weakened.

Up and down the results came through, 

but here we were now the end of year two.

We watched her with all of her might. 

She worked really hard to conquer the fight.

Here we are now almost six months past, 

wishing that time didn't travel so fast.

We've all had a chance to say goodbye,

to make it easier for us when she closes her eyes.

Ashlie N. Martin 3/29/2013

Still with us

A goes home today.  Meeting her mom later this afternoon.  I wanted to take a minute to update you on a few things.  I took Mr. R's advice and called back the next day.  No one at my PM doctors office bothered to tell me he has another location now that is not far at all from me.  He is there on Monday mornings.  I guess they just assumed that I'd prefer where I've always went since I have a BR address.  What gets me is that they said nothing available until the 23th but when I called back and took Mr. R's advice I got an appointment for this Monday morning @ 9:45.  I guess I don't have to understand how they work just that I got what I needed even though it took multiple calls to get it.

Late last night we got an update on my friend Jeannie.  She is slipping away her husband tells us.  Hospice said she would most likely not make it to Easter but she did.  Ed told us that she smiled when her eyes opened Easter morning and he said, "Happy Easter"  She was excited to know she made it to Easter but not why you'd think.  She didn't want to mess up anyones Easter plans.  The next date they were giving her was Wednesday and Thursday rolled around and she's still with us.  Her husband said her breaths are few and speaking a bit more out of head and less control of her body.  It's becoming very difficult for her to remain awake.  

Ed's words; Yet through this all she has yet to complain, ask "why me?", or make the first negative comment.  When she was still lucid, she would apologize for leaving me so young time and again.  She prayed over and over that once she reached the point of speaking out of her head that she wouldn't say anything ugly or unkind.  She has been more out than in her head for a solid week now and hasn't uttered the slightest unkind thought.  It simply is not in the nature of this angelic, Child of God!

Every time my phone chimes the sound of a CaringBridge update I dread to open it for I know the time is here.  I wanted to visit again this week but I think my last visit with her was so nice and "normal" that I want to keep that memory of my last time with her.  I hope her passing on to her new life is as simple as falling asleep and having a sweet dream.  Her daughter in law wrote a beautiful poem I'd like to share on my next post.  

For now I'll say good day.Theresa

All clear

I started my morning with an appointment with my therapist.  It was so good to share some good news with her for once.  She was happy to hear that my son is taking some positive steps forward and has went to two appointments on his own.  We have a long way to go but at least he's stepping forward.  My therapist was very encouraging but wants me to step back and let him continue to seek the help he needs on his own.  

Next I had my yearly melanoma check today at the dermatologist.  All clear.  I'm very thankful to hear that.  I had a couple of spots I was concerned about.  I guess that just comes a long with knowing there is a possibility it could come back. 

After that, I left to meet A's mom in a town half way for both of us.  (about an hour away for each of us)  On the way back I had another appointment to keep.  Mr. R.  Met with him to work on getting one or two programs working again with no unwanted areas.  I told him that for the last three weeks I decided I couldn't deal with my battery issue any more.  I'd tell my self and my husband, "tomorrow I'm calling to schedule with PM Doc to get this fixed." I have to get over having another recovery.  Then Monday would roll around and I'd feel better and change my mind.  Two days later....awful again.  Calling tomorrow.  Put off again.  This cycle has been going on for a month.  Monday I finally called after a difficult week end.  As usually he is super swamped and I couldn't get an appointment until May 7th.  

We had an in depth conversation regarding the issue with my battery.  I questioned him about the need to have to see doc again before doing something about it.  He helped me to understand that last time I saw him I told him about it but we didn't decide definitely we would do something about it.  Today Mr. R went into more detail with me what is involved.  He said first we would try to either reposition or put in the smaller battery I initially wanted.    If it's necessary for the reposition of battery my insurance shouldn't have a problem paying for that but asking for a new battery may not be so simple.  I'll need a pre-approval for that.

Then Mr. R explained that if that is not successful he will want to move the battery site.
Of course I wanted to know why don't we just do that to start? Why have to cut then cut again if it doesn't work.  He explained that just repositioning or changing to smaller battery in same site is a 30 minute procedure including closing me up.  One cut and done.  If we change locations, he will have to reopen the incision along the spine to reposition the leads in the epidural space so the leads will reach to the new area that battery is moved to.  I have a couple of options but only like one!  I'm praying for the 1st option to work.   Recovery shorter for first than second.  Two incisions and more healing time.  Pretty much like the first surgery.  Starting over....

After all that drama was over we meet Aunt B and cousin P at the movie theater right down the street to see a movie.  It was so sweet to see them hug on their own when they saw each other and held hands walking in and all the way down hall to the theater we would be in.  It was A's and also Nonna's first 3D movie.  For a kiddy movie it wasn't bad.  The grandkids seemed pretty interested and enjoyed the 3D effect.  I can tell you A and I both were pooped for sure.  It was 5:45 by then time we made it home and I'd been out since 8:15.  ( big deal for me )

A will stay a few days with us so I'll probably update when she goes home.  Mr. R encouraged me to call back and get the nurse to see if they could get me in sooner at another location possibly.  He said if we change batteries that could possibly take some time so if possible I may need to get the ball rolling.  I can't tell you how much I wish I would just wake up and it would be gone, done, all resolved.  Not that easy in real life.

sweet cousins

Ain't I cool?

Funny

GNA Good luck with your trial Janet....please let me know how you are.  One day at a time that's all we can do.  Theresa



     The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.