It's a start....

When my children were little and adolescent age I loved Christmas time.  I loved to shop and meet the challenge of finding everything on their list.  Over the years I found myself dreading Christmas and wondering why.  I had my share of "scrooge" title given to me.  

When my grandkids came along I thought maybe the excitement would return.  Their second Christmas December 2010 I had the worst Christmas ever.  It was during the time I had my nerves burned (radio frequency ablation) and I still think that was the worst time during this entire journey with my back pain.  Not just because of the holidays but I was still working. Being at work, especially when it's such a time of year when everyone is especially kind and giving, I was the most dismal person around.  I remember sending my daughter an email apologizing that I hadn't been around or in touch but I felt as if I would spoil everyones Christmas cheer.  Every week end that passed by in December  I spent in the bed wishing I could go out and shop like everyone else.  It was truly a gift card Christmas.  Those who know me know I'm anti gift card.  

I'm now realizing what happened to my "Christmas Joy".  It's such a busy time of the year.  Decorating for the holidays can be a big chore for any family.  Especially with little ones and your working.  A lot of work for a short time.  Then there is shopping, cooking and traveling. Over the last 6-8 years I've had to convince myself I can get this done. Don't get me wrong, when it's all said I done I step back and say I'm so glad I pushed myself to do it.   This year is no different.  I told my husband when he offered to go into the attic Sunday and pull some things down for me to get started that I wasn't sure if I even wanted to put up a tree.  Maybe I'll just decorate.  I definitely want some Christmas spirit around for my grandchildren.  I started to realize it's just as important for us.  How can I fight the blues if I don't even try to have Christmas cheer around.   

On Monday D pulled the tree down.  I decided to give my floors a good cleaning first.  I vacuumed then took a break.  Then came the mopping...ugh the absolute worst.  Think I'd rather bathe the dog.
Anyhow I was done for the day after that.  Yesterday (Tuesday) I put the tree together.  A little at a time.  Branches spread.  Breakfast.  Pieces put together. Lunch.  Finding a place to put the darn thing. Evening break.  Getting in the corner by myself.  Exhausted.  So the tree is up with lights but who knows when and what next?  

Our dryer broke a couple of weeks back.  It was a VERY OLD Maytag.  So believe what you hear about them.  Our dryer man said it would cost more to fix than to purchase a new one.  Merry Christmas to me. (notice I said "me")  Instead of getting down a few more things for me last evening my hubby was busy unloading and installing the new dryer.  It is bigger so a little complicated to make it work in the small space.  Now I wish I had a bigger machine since I can put a lot more clothes to dry at once.  So it was up to me if I want to accomplish something else today.  I made two trips in the attic and brought down the bulbs, wreath and tree skirt.  Sounds simple enough but I did a lot of shuffling of boxes to "pick around" and get particulars.  I definitely shouldn't be pulling the attic door down but being this is a week long process for me I felt like I had to get another step done today.  

It's noon, I'm still in my pj's and typing this blog during my rest time.  After lunch I plan to decorate the tree a little and make something for D's birthday.  I just talked to him.  In the field on his birthday but said he was overwhelmed by the number of birthday wishes he's received.  Keeping my fingers crossed for my meeting with Mr. R tomorrow.  Who knows maybe this will be the reprogramming that is successful and I will finish this decorating over a few more days.  I am pleased at the fact I have my grandkids taken care of and Christmas cards ordered.  Ahead of last year :-)

Take time to enjoy the reason for the season.  One thing I've learned over the years is that pushing myself to hard spoils what should be a wonderful season.  This year I'm doing what I can, when I can and not worry about what I don't get to.  Christmas will come and go not matter what I accomplish.  

So much talk of the Power ball tonight.  Did you get your ticket?  I've never purchased one since it started years ago.  My husband does but not on a regular basis.  The chances are so small that you have a better chance of winning a grammy award.  Good luck to you if play.


   The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.