Chronic Pain

A 51 year old female living and dealing with lumbar back pain and fibromyalgia. Sharing things I do for relief, reduce stress and control weight gain.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Gone but not forgotten

Beware...a lot of photos in this post.  Many I wanted to include and didn't and some I just couldn't leave out.


October 10, 1935 the year my dad was born.  He passed away on May 2, 2011.  He would be 77 today.  John H Hulin, know as Harvey, the A&P frozen food man and the best bus driver in St. Tammany Parish.  When he first moved to Talisheek, LA from his birthplace, Erath, LA he worked at the papermill in Bogalusa.  When I was growing up and waiting for the school bus in my grade school years there were many days when the wind blew the right direction you could smell it very strong.  The "frozen food man" came from all the years he worked at the A&P in Covington.  When he would finish his bus run he would go to the A & P to work until time for the afternoon run.  During the summer and school holidays he worked their too.  He was a very popular bus driver.  The other drivers admired him.  His bus was a tight ship.  He was strict and the kids respected him.  It was also the cleanest bus in the parish.  I know this because I swept it most week ends as a chore.  

I call him my dad because in every definition of the word "dad" he was.  I never knew my biological father.  My memories go back as far as 3 and 4 years old.  Which leaves me with no memories at all of him.  In fact he was in prison when my mom left him.   I remember some very special times when it was just me and my mom.  I also remember well when she started dating my dad.  She worked at A&P and that's where she met him.  They both loved to dance and went to a lot of parties together during the holidays.  I looked at them during the early years as a "life of the party" couple.  They hosted many at their house and were invited to a lot.  
Jan 29, 1971

The young boy in the picture is my older brother Don.  My dads son from his first marriage.  My mom and dad had a son in 1974, my younger brother Avery.   They had yours, mine and ours.  Although we never used the words "step" or "half" in our family.  He was a fun big brother.  He wasn't around all the time because he lived with his mom but when he was he was pretty cool.  Even let me tag along on a date with him once to the skating rink. LOL

 We had a lot of fun times in the early years camping down on the Pearl River canal.  My parents had a huge group of friends who also liked to camp.  At that time it was camping the old fashion way.  No electric or bathrooms.  We had a "pot" we took into the woods.  There was never any worry about being safe either.  They took an old bus and remolded it into a camper and pulled it down to the canal.  We used it a long time.  I can't remember when but at some point they got a pop up camper and started going to camp grounds and then to pull type campers.  The best years ever though were down on the canal.

I have to share one more thing about those times.  My dad loved being on the water in the boat.  He wanted his kids to learn to love the water like he did.  We had to learn to swim and water ski.  My brother Don started off on a board then skiing on two then one ski.  He was pretty awesome at it.  I fought tooth and nail against this.  I didn't want to learn.  During some of my "teaching" sessions I would let go of the rope when he wasn't looking and it would make him so mad.  He'd turn the boat around, come back and get me.  "The sooner you do it, the sooner you can get out of the water".  I finally gave in at some point.  Of course I loved it.  He taught a lot of youngsters out there how to ski. 

2008 taking my daughter, son in law & friends tubing
We were you typical family.  We took vacations every summer.  With my dad driving the bus he had the summer off.  He still worked at the A& P but they pretty much gave him the schedule he wanted being he'd been around so long and was good at what he did there.  He was manager of frozen food section.  I remember him bringing home lots of different ice creams for us to try.  That was a ritual in our home.  Ice cream every night.  My mom would serve us all some ice cream after dinner.  I think my kids probably remember that too because it was still going on then.  Besides vacations we did a lot of camping durning the summer too.  Some beautiful campgrounds in Mississippi.  We were always able to bring a friend along.  

As I entered my preteen years my dad and I butt heads a lot.  He was a strict father with a lot of rules to follow.  I was a stubborn child.  I put a lot of hardship between my mom and dad.  I now know how hard it must have been for her since I deal with my son and husband not getting along.  The important thing is that I recognized what he did for me as soon as I left home and was on my own as a child myself at the age of 18 with a baby.   I hardly every made an important decision about anything without calling him and asking his advise.  He told me so many times.  His exact words, " I know I was tough on you kid, but look how great you turned out!"  He told me numerous times he never worried about anyone taking advantage of me.  

In 1980 my brother Don and his first wife had his first grandchild.  Melissa Renee Hulin.  She was a sweet angel sent down from heaven to spent a short 10 years with us.  I remember very well how hard my dad took her death.  I think it was the first time I had seen him cry.  He was always so tough on us.  I was used to him making me cry. I now know as a grandmother he was not only grieving for himself, but also for his son.  She left us on his birthday Oct 10, 1990.


March 1981
He was so proud of all of his grand children.  My brother had two other children, Jennifer and Jeffrey who are close in age with my kids.  I had two and Avery has three. So all together they 8 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren.  He lived to see all but the last born.  Kennedy.  She is 9 months old.  


Avery, Theresa, My dad, and Don
For as long as I can remember there has been a family reunion on my dads side of the family for New Years.  It started with my dad and his three siblings.  It grew and grew.  My dad was the youngest and the last to go but the reunion is still going strong.  I'm not positive but I don't think he ever missed one and he was always disappointed if one of his group couldn't make it.  This was in 2010. 

the same reunion, my two grand babies who are now 3
My mom told me so many times during the trials with my back that my dad always felt so bad for me about my condition.  He had back pain a lot and thought it was so unfair for someone at my age (as early as it started) had to deal with it every day.  That's just what parents wish for, to take away their children's pain.  He was no different with any of us.


Thanksgiving and Payton's birthday
October 7, 2006

My daughter's wedding
Sept 2009

One of my favorites of them both <3

Paw Paw with Avery's youngest Payton

Paw Paw with Aubrey, my grand daughter

Paw Paw with my grandson Parker

My dad liked to cook when we were camping.  I have so many pictures of him at the campground grilling or frying something.  Every now and then he enjoyed sitting back and letting someone else do the work and this was one of those times.  Crawfish boil at my house.


We all miss him so.  I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call to ask what he thinks about something.  His number is still in my phone.  Like the title says Gone but not forgotten.  Happy Birthday dad we love and miss you. 


At their home in Talisheek


  The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.  



I had to come back in and add that my dad shared his birthday with my sister in law Christi.
It's the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes this morning after thinking of my dad.  I text her right away.  Not sure how I forgot to include that :-(



3 comments:

Donana said...

I sure can relate. My daddy passed away June 7, 2010, just 6 months after my brother passed; he was only 42 years old at the time. My brother passed away from diabetes, something he struggled with all his life. My dad had heart problems with liver issues on top of that and he wasn't a drinker at all.
That was the worst year of my life. I went through a divorce, lost my only sibling, my daddy, my daddy's brother; one of my closest uncles to cancer, my aunt; my moms sister, and my middle daughter was.giving me so many problems I had to send her to live with her father. So yea, I can relate. I've grown a lot since then. Now I've had this back problem for 2 1/2 years. Nothing they can do for me but give me a scs. I go in Tuesday for the permanent. Wish me luck. I've been reading your blog for courage. Thanks for sharing your experiences, it means a lot to me.
Thanks for reminding of my dad today I needed it.
Donna

My Spinal Cord Stimulator Journey said...

good luck to you Donna, please let me know how your doing. How was your experience with the trial?
Sounds like you and I have a lot in common.
Fighting back, Theresa

Donana said...

I had a good experience with the trial. I had to get past the soreness from them putting it in but it was great to feel it in my legs. I actually walked straight up for the first time in a while. I didn't want to let them take it out except my back was crazy itching from all the tape. I can't wait until tomorrow.