Healing

I met with Lovely on Thursday.  We went through all my programs and she did some adjustments on each program trying to take out the area I didn't like and trying to move what was close, closer.  We spent an hour.  I'd been at a previous appointment for 2 hours so that was all I could do.  You see when we work on this the paddle has to stay next to the battery site area and I had worn shorts with back pocket hoping it would keep connection but the pocket was a little low so it had to be held in place to keep connection.  (Once Mr. R went and got some tape and taped to my skirt so I wouldn't have to hold the entire time.) My elbow starts to really hurt.  Sounds easy, but hold your hand on your butt for an hour and see what it feels like.


Lovely went over with me again how important it is to be patient with the non target areas we're hitting.  She says as 6 months gets closer this won't spread out as much to areas I don't need because the scar tissue will keep it more confined in the area.  She also told me that from what I'm sharing with her about how I'm feeling and what I'm able to do at this time is great, and I seem to be right on track.  It should continue to get better and better.  I'm good.  I knew it from the get go and I've been reminded enough to not get impatient.


Weigh in Monday tomorrow.  Another good week.  I don't say that because of what the scale might say but because of the Points Plus Tracker.  I ended the week with 30 points unused and 12 activity points unused.  The scale better show at least same as last week.  I'll be happy with that. :-D


I went for my walk for the first time since recovery in the morning instead end of day.  Gosh, I wish I could do that everyday. Something about the quite in the air.  It was overcast and not so hot.  I was the only person on the path.  Turned on the run keeper that B told me about and started walking.   Around 1 mile a song came on that I'd never heard before. (listening to K-Love).  It was beautiful as so many of the songs you hear on that channel.  This past 4 days have been the worst emotional time I've been through in a few months.  As I was walking I was going over the past few days in my head and wondering if I'd made the right choices and if I'd been any help to who needed me.  I also made some choices that were made with hurt feels and some anger.  I was feeling blue about it and wondering why things went the way they did.  Then this song came on.  After hearing the chorus I just started weeping so hard I could hardly see the path to stay on it.  This went on until the song was over.  It's amazing how a song can make you feel. Especially in the environment I was in.  


I felt like Laura was singing this song to me personally.  I needed to hear it at this moment. That the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes and that my healing comes through tears.  Not tears of being depressed or anxious.  Maybe those tears are just my healing.  Maybe fighting back the tears (holding back the tears because they hurt has been unhealthy. So now I'll look at them as healing.  I wanted to share with you in case you've never heard it.  And if you haven't, goole it or look it up on K-Love and listen.  You can listen to lyrics there. It's not the same to just read. A friend of mind said the story behind it is worth reading also.


Good night.  Praying for some sleep tonight.  Update tomorrow on the weight watchers.



www.klove.com/music/artists/laura-story


Laura Story: album title Blessings


We pray for blessings 
We pray for peace 
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep 
We pray for healing, for prosperity 
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering 
All the while, You hear each spoken need 
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things 

(Chorus)
'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops 
What if Your healing comes through tears 
What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near 
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise 

We pray for wisdom 
Your voice to hear 
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near 
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love 
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough 
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea 
And long that we'd have faith to believe 

Chorus

When friends betray us 
When darkness seems to win 
We know the pain reminds this heart 
That this is not, this is not our home 

Chorus

What if my greatest disappointments 
Or the aching of this life 
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy 
What if trials of this life 
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights 
Are your mercies in disguise