Watch out for YOU!

Warning...this blog post is a big complaining post.  If you are looking for something positive to read you won't find it here!  It's a true story and other than venting I'm giving my readers a heads up of what could be happening to you too.

In 2008 I was getting my oil changed at a place I'd love to mention but not sure if I can legally say  the name of this tire and auto shop chain.  It was my second time there.  The first time was just for an oil change.  Another place had told me some months back that I needed two new tires.  I was shocked to hear this because I'd been getting my tires rotated every other oil change.  (Quite proud of myself for taking care of this too)  I'd only had them for a couple of years.  When the tire professional told me I needed these tires I told him I was shocked because I'd been having them rotated on a regular basis.   He walked me outside and showed me the wear on my tires and explained he hated to tell me this but my tires clearly showed no signs of being rotated.  He said he doubted they'd ever been rotated at all.  I was crushed.  I purchased two new tires and planned to get two more a few months down the road.   From that day forward I have been very skeptical about any auto shop changing my oil or rotating by tires.

So back to 2008 when I was getting my oil changed at this unnamed establishment I asked for my tires to be rotated also.  I get a call later to tell me that I have two tires that look bad.  I didn't doubt them but really wasn't planning to buy two new tires this day.  What are you going to do?  I told them to go ahead and put two new tires on.  The ones I bought that I previously mentioned were put on 6 months before so I figured I'm good to go now. 

I arrive at the establishment to pick up my car and as I am looking over my bill I see they charged me for a tire rotation.  What?  I question this and the gentleman asks, "didn't you request your tires rotated?" Yes, but you put two new tires on my car so they had to be moved to put the new ones in proper place.  I guess being female he thought I had a big "S" stamped on my forehead.  He never agreed they made a mistake.  He made it seem that since I was making such a big deal over it he would take the charge off.  We cleared all that up and I paid once my bill was correct.  I walked out feeling like I was not going to have a good relationship with these people.  It didn't matter I felt strongly about my decision that it was wrong to charge me for a tire rotation when I didn't receive one.

Roll forward to two oil changes later and I ask for my tires to be rotated.  Of course I reminded them it's no charge right?  "Right", he told me.  Little did they know I had marked my tires because I had a suspicious feeling about them.  Turns out I was right.  I get there and the marks I put on my front tires were still there.  No way they rotated my tires.  When I approached the counter I decided I would wait and see if there was a notation on my bill of a tire rotation.  Tried to give the benefit of the doubt.  Yep, it was there.  So I challenged them right away.  "If you rotated my tires why are the front tires still on the front?".  He looked at me strange.  Yes ma'am we rotated your tires.  See right here.  So and so initialed it.  So I told him he should go ask the gentleman if he rotated my tires or not.  He did so and returned saying the guy was on break and if I'd have a seat they'd rotate them real quick.  So I was at their mercy then.  I was so annoyed they had my car for hours and here I am sitting waiting for my tires to be rotated.  I left feeling like these people probably didn't like me very much.  I promise you it wasn't keeping me up at night.  Why would he just go ahead and rotate if he was so sure his guy did it?

The next time it was time for my tires to be rotated you bet I marked them again but I decided I would say something to them when I dropped off my car.  I had been dealing with the same man over the couple of years.  He saw me coming in and called me by name.  I spoke right up front and let him know how unhappy I was with their service and I'd marked my tires again and to please make sure I didn't show up to work undone a second time.  He gave me his word.  From then on it went the same every time I was due for tire rotation.  I made sure I said what I wanted upon arrival.  I also made it clear I would know if they did or not.  

So now we move forward to 2011 and the same chain is near where we moved in Oct of that year.  The first time I went I didn't need my tires rotated but didn't know where to go yet so I brought my car there for the oil change.  Right across the street there is a nice walking path so it was perfect for having something to do instead of just sitting there waiting.   They called me on my cell phone not to tell me my car was ready but that I need $500 worth of work.  Seriously?  I told him I wasn't doing anything today he could go over it with me when I picked it up.  He really pushed me hard on the phone so I was thinking I'd really have to stand firm when I faced him in person.  

I get there and he went over in detail what I needed done and reminded me that when people leave without having there work done the usually don't come back until the are forced to by being stranded on the side of the road.  I told him I promise that wasn't going to happen to me but I needed to have my car and wanted to discuss with my husband.  In my mind I'd already decided before making it there I wanted a second opinion anyway.  I had a bad taste in my mouth with this company.  I tired not to carry it with me, but it was there.  

There is an auto shop right down the street from us that we pass every day and they always look busy. I decided to take my car there for my second opinion.  We needed to find someone to use on this side of town anyway.  Low and behold the gentleman, who I really liked a lot, told me a couple of the things just did not exist and a couple of things could be done, but he didn't see the urgency in any immediate work required.   They were not things that would leave me stranded any where and he'd keep an eye on them for me if I was going to be returning there for my oil changes.  I really felt he was being honest with me and who turns away work in this economy?  

I started getting my oil changed there and on the opposite time that I needed oil change I'd go to the "other place" and get both.  Oil change and tire rotation.  The last time I was there D had followed me on a Friday morning and they told me they were full and couldn't take any more oil changes.  (this was 8 am in the morning)  I asked him if he meant for the full day or this morning?  He said all day.  I told him I wasn't in a hurry so he said he'd go ahead and take it but it would be end of day before they got to it.  I brought up the fact that I'd had a bad experience a couple of times at the other location and I would know for sure if they rotated my tires or not.  He said, "we'll give you a call this evening when we're done".   That was the day I spent the afternoon helping D in the afternoon with the solar blanket.  The time got away from us and before I knew it it was 6pm and I knew they closed at 7.  I called and inquired about my car and the gentleman who answered the phone claimed my car had been ready I could pick up anytime before they close.  I asked why no one called me and he said he wasn't sure he just happened to answer phone while inside, but it was usually their policy to call.  

We hurry and change into some dry clothes and take off to get there.  D asked if he should come in with me.  I told him he shouldn't need to unless they tried some of the nonsense they've done in the past.  ( i promise you if that was the case he did NOT want to be inside with me )  As we drove up on the side of my car it was so obvious my tires had not been rotated.  The pink nail polish I put on the tires stood out like a sore thumb.  I was so upset.  I could feel my blood pressure rising and I was shaking.  D came in but didn't stay long because I asked for the manager right away and told them just  what I thought of them.   You decided I needed new tires so you didn't rotate them?  I asked.  I asked for my tires rotated and if you planned to not do it I should have received a phone call asking about it.  He really had no excuse of why they didn't call but offered for me take a seat and they would do it for me right away.  I couldn't believe this.  My car had been there all day and he wanted me to have a seat and wait to have my tires rotated when I asked for that in the beginning.  

D left after a short time and I told these people just what I thought of them and their customer service.  Not that they really cared, but I told them I wouldn't ever let them touch my car again and planned to write a note on their web site stating how I'd been treated.  He, the manager, wrote on the back of his business care that the next time I was in that I could get a oil change on them!  I asked him if he really thinks I'd ever come back there much less let them work on my car?  That was the last straw.  I was done with them.  So this particular day I had my oil changed and I washed my hands of them.  I'll find another place when I'm due and it is clearly worth paying for a tire rotation before going there again.  I know darn good and well that if I need new tires they would have called and tired to sell me some.  I feel they were busy and clearly lazy.  They wanted to get done for the day. 

I agree I could use some new tires but "my place" that I trust said I have another six months to a year on my tires.  This gives me time to check around for prices and a good place I can trust.  I know this was long but I wanted to share so others know that sadly you really have to look out for yourself when it comes down to these times of things.  Your really at their mercy and trust that when they say you need something you do.  You also have to trust that when they tell you work has been done, it has.  How would we know the difference?  After leaving that day I asked my husband to look at my oil.  At this point I wasn't sure that I believed they were really changing my oil.   I am a firm believer in second opinions.  It has paid off more than once for me.  

My son and granddaughter came by for a visit yesterday.  We've had a small cool front pass through southern Louisiana and even with the solar blanket the water temp went from 96 down to 90 on Saturday.  On Sunday when we got in with the "kids" it had fallen to 88.  This temp is still very comfortable but the air was chilly.  We had a good time all of us swimming at the same time.  Nonna got a little carried away playing a game with all and I was walking backwards in the pool along the edge I bumped into the ladder.  On the left side, right on my battery!! Oh I wanted to cry ;-(  I just froze and took a deep breath.  I didn't want to scare A.  If I would had been alone I can tell you I would have screamed, cried and probably cursed!!  It started bothering me after I was out of pool and is still so sore this morning.  I just hope it didn't move any.  I can't stand the idea of any more battery shifting!  

It was Dallas' bath day so we decided to let him swim before time.  He loved it.  A loved getting to watch too.  He really seemed to like it and was very comfortable in the water.  We're just hoping he didn't like it enough to be brave and just jump in when he feels like it.  Saturday was an over cast raining day and most of Sunday was dry but cloudy.  It's beautiful and cool today.  A lot of sunshine so I can't wait to see water temp when I swim this afternoon.  

Getting some exercise

Dallas on the kick board 

Excited to go with my daughter for her sonogram tomorrow.  Checking up on baby Stevens to see how he/she is doing.  Can't wait to see what P thinks about all of this.  Also my appointment with my rheumatologist is tomorrow and I have a big list for him so I hope he has some time to spend with me.  Have a great week and I'll be back tomorrow.  I'll try to keep the complaining to a minimum.

I'm filled with H.O.P.E.
Theresa

You don't have to have a great start to have a great finish!

Joyce Meyer

1 week check (second time around)

What a busy long day!  A friend and sweet little girl came to visit me this morning.  Not only did she bring me my favorite flowers she came in with a little brown box that stayed a mystery until she was gone.  Oh my goodness, when I took a look inside I knew I was in trouble.  2 huge CC cookies, 2 red velvet petit fours and a small round cheese cake.  Bottom layer chocolate.  You know I text her and fussed.  She doesn't read my blog so she hasn't heard my complaining about gaining my lost weight back.  I'm sorry to say I didn't take the first picture.  Of us that is.  I did shoot my flowers after they left though so that's my excuse.   I don't know what's wrong with me.  I never skip pictures of anything.

Meanwhile during my visit with friends our AC man was here doing our spring "ac check up".  I know...be grateful something didn't happen on a Friday evening in LA heat to deal with all week end.  Gosh though, I'd just about had D convinced we could afford to take up this carpet I hate in the living room and put some flooring down.  Delay, gotta have the AC working.  Don't have to have new flooring sadly.   Unfortunately he found several things wrong so we fixed the worst.  He came at 9am and left at exactly 12:45.  My doctor appointment was at 1:15.  Need a good 25 minutes to get there during lunch time.  Paid the man then rushed out the door.

Appointment went well.  My prayer was answered.  Incision looked great, no sign of all of infection.  He took that huge bandage. All that tape was probably aggravating my hives.  He used some type of strips and said they need to stay on until the week end.  If they don't come off on their own by Sunday I'm to take them off.  This means I can take a shower now.  Woo hoo.  No tub, pool, sweating or anything strenuous.  Asked me to come back in two weeks and I'd most likely be released of all those no no's.   I'm going to do my best to continue to follow rules to make this happen.  No setbacks!

you can see how the tape was irritating my skin from the redness

I hope so.  Pool water up to 80.  Getting so close.  It's so hard to look at every day and not be able to get in.  When my friend was here we went outside on patio for about 20 minutes and at 9:30 in May we're already sweating.  I had to come back in.  I know, what do I want?  In LA you don't get warm weather without the humidity.  

My grandson on Mothers day ( curious P )

Nonna & P

I made a stop on the way home and kicked my feet up to read a little while until my husband would be in.  Yesterday I bought the new released copy of Dan Brown's Inferno.  I'm only on chapter 10 but I wish I could just read it all the way through.  I'd definitely be reading right now if not for typing this entry.  This series is incredible.  My husband came in around 45 minutes later and I met him at the back door and stepped into garage discussing our day.  A tall nice looking man stopped by from "no where"  I really didn't see him come up at all.  Any how, he asked if he could show us a shampooing method that was 95% powder and 5% moisture and dries in 25 minutes.  I told him we were looking to take our carpet up in the living room but hey if you understand that and it's free, go ahead.  He called someone and in they appeared with this vacuum and a huge box of all kinds of gadgets.  

can be use like a mop on tile also

To make a very long story short.  A three and a half hour story, they were Kirby sales people.  This vacuum was amazing.  Put my dyson to shame.  Seriously.  She not only demo'd the carpet but my couch, drapes,  pillow, ceramic tile, wall, ceiling fan, ceiling and....the worst my mattress and pillows.  It was absolutely sickening.  She told me not to feel so bad everyones was like that.  OH and she had to explain about how dust mites breed, and how much skin we shed in a year.  All kind of fun facts that I don't doubt for one minute are true but I didn't want to hear about.  Honestly, she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.  Seriously.  I raised a son with asthma and we lived at the allergists' office.  As you can see there is a large stack of these circles that are made out of 1/8 of the thickness of bag it holds.  Everyone you see in the picture was dirty like that for multiple area she covered in same room.  Living room.

One very small spot for about 30 seconds.  Used the dyson yesterday :-(

The mattress about 10 seconds in one spot

These people stayed in our home from 4:30-8:00.  At 6:00 I told the sweet young girl.  I'm sorry but I'm starving and I have to eat to take my medication.  At this point my back was screaming at me because like a nut I'd been standing 75% of the time she'd been there.  She didn't seem to mind at all if my husband and I heated ourself up something to eat.  I couldn't believe it.  We made a plate a food, sat down and ate while she cleaned my couch.  Are you sure my sofa is leather ok to vacuum?  I asked her what did she expect to see come out of a sofa that wasn't breathable material.  She said, "watch".  ANd I did.  And my jaw was hanging.  Unbelievable.  I'm still dumbfounded.  I think she felt sorry for me because she kept telling me.  Awe your house isn't bad,  We see much worse.   It had a million attachments to do everything you can dream of.  Your gonna love this, you can blow the yard after my husband cuts the grass.  It has an attachment to air up balloons or balls or a mattress.   At one point she said it will do everything but the dishes and mow the lawn.  She's wrong.  It does do everything, but she left out one thing on the don't do list.  LAUNDRY :-)

I was so exhausted when they left.  I have to say they were super nice people.  I did be honest at one point and tell them that I think the vacuum would sell on its on if a customer was in need of one without 3 hours of demonstration.  Seriously.  I'm not sorry at all I gave up my night.  This young girl and I had a very long talk as she had breaks changing parts and hoses at times.  I really believe God wanted us to meet.  This story I will share with you in another blog post.  I really need to try and get some rest now. 

My back side is pretty sore from the big padding they had back there protecting my IPG and incision.  It really feels bare now.  It's good and bad in the same way.  Know what I mean?  I have not had my reprogramming yet.  My reps been hard at work and no time for me this week.  Well, maybe Friday.  He tired to get Lovely to come meet me at my appointment but even she was booked up also.  They must be implanting these things a lot.  He said definitely Friday or Monday.  Really up to me.  It can get crazy in town on Fridays so if my battery looks like I'll make it until Monday I may hold on until then.

I love you guys and so happy you've hung in there with me a year now.  Of course I've picked up many friends a long the way and even had an "old" friend find my blog while just searching for me.  It's crazy what you'll find when you google someone.  After I talked to them I had to try it.  I found myself on pinterest,  google + and my blog.  Also alot of pictures associated with many people with my same first and last name.  My friend had mentioned a few in particular and I asked, "how did you see those?'.  Private means zilch on the internet my friends.  So long and good night.  

HOPE.....Hold on pain ends

Theresa

When I started this is was Wednesday not Thursday. 

My son, Mothers Day 2013

My daughter

One more and I'm done

Glad to be back home.  It was a long ride home.  Coming home seems to always take longer than getting there.  It was really nice to get away and try not to think of our worries.  We had two pretty days at the beach and Monday as we were getting ready to start getting things together the grey clouds came over and the view from the balcony was such a different site.  Beach deserted except for some people fishing.  Thankful that we had pretty weather the days we were free to be there.  

Sunday night we had diner at a nice seafood and oyster bar on the bay.  Very nice atmosphere and excellent service. We definitely enjoyed ourself.  After, we went to a couple of shops then hit the Publix to stock up on some Fresca and those Kashi cookies I mentioned.

Some awesome shrimp

The bay at Perdido Key

On the way home I finally got the call regarding my reposition surgery.   My insurance company not only approved reposition but the smaller batter which is really important in the chance of improved outcome.  It's scheduled for next week on Wednesday.  Even though I hate the thought of being cut yet again I'm hoping for improvement with this "unexpected surgery".

Really glad I didn't have to dread it for weeks to come.  I was really surprised they were able to schedule me as soon as next week.  By the time incision is healed enough to get in pool the water definitely should be warm. A long time friends daughter is getting married at the end of month and having surgery as soon as next week really improves the chances I will be able to attend.  I've missed so many important things while recovering from various procedures.  Last year when the implant surgery was over, I missed my godsons graduation from high school.

replacement battery 

battery I have

I have an appointment with my psychologist the day before.  We made some medication changes at last appointment so she asked me to come back in 3 weeks instead of 3 months.  I'm happy surgery didn't interfere with that appointment.  If all goes well I'll be off of one of medications by Monday!  Wish I could stop them all.  One less is better though.   I'll take what I can get.

At dinner Sunday night

Just back from Jeannie's wake.  There were soooo many people there.  People I know and haven't seen in years.  Her husband will be exhausted after this is over.  I stood in line for 30 minutes to view Jeannie and to talk to Eddie.  I did good until I visited with him then I broke down.  He was lifting "me" up.  An amazing man, husband, father, deacon and friend.  He was celebrating Jeannie's life.  Her daughter had put together some amazing collages.  In every picture of Jeannie, she was smiling.  I'm so glad I knew her and she was part of my life.  An amazing person.  She will be missed by so many. 

I'm sure I'll have a post before surgery.   Happy to have your support and thank you!

for the fence by the pool!



Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. Oprah Winfrey 

Updates

I'm listening to Pandora this Saturday morning while trying to accomplish some house work. 

My Hope is in the Lord, all Day Long. (Aaron Shust)  That's what comes on as I tire out and fix my second cup of coffee and prop my feet up.  Those words in my head everyday when I'm starting to feel down about my disability.  Remembering to focus on what I can do not what I can't.  Such simple things can set it off. Sometime there is no rhyme or reason. Other times it's very obvious what I've done to cause the flare up.  Today?  Clueless.  No rain, didn't over do anything yesterday yet a restless night.  A night with battery site pain with every movement.  Within minutes of my feet hitting the floor a stabbing, burning pain covers my lower back. 

My dear husband was outside shortly after breakfast.  He has worked so hard to make our back yard like a paradise.  For both of us, but I know he wants badly for me to enjoy being home so much.  I guess what I'm saying is since I'm here and hardly want to leave I look back there and sometime feel as if I'm somewhere else.  Thank you dear.

Also, as I'm praying with this song my daughter text me news of their first "baby" Silas.  Their 115 pound chocolate lab.  Beautiful dog.  A face that looks at you with eyes that speak.  Poor thing, he probably feels like Nonna has no love for him.  I've always been stand offish when around after he was no longer a puppy.  Fearful of him hurting my back if he shows his love.  If he jumps on you that's all he's doing.   He became part of the Stevens family early in their marriage.  The mother in me was asking, "why?" Don't you want "us" time first.  He will be just like a kid to care for.  You know this right?  Silly question.  

My son in law was raised with large dogs.  German Shepherds.  His parents still have several and they are a huge part of the family.  My daughter has always had a dog around too.  Her grandparents having one, and her in her childhood.  Even as an outside dog her and my son loved her none the less.  So now here they are with a puppy that will become very big and Nonnas worried about when the first grandchild comes along.  That was all fine too.  He's just a big ol playful teddy bear.  I knew he'd never intentionally hurt P but as an infant the grandmother in me worried terribly about Silas accidentally hurting him.  One of the first things P would say was the name he used to talk about Silas.  

Silas was hit by a truck a few days before Easter.  Knocked into a ditch and and a nasty one at that.  He had a huge gash to be sewn up and a lot of fractures.  He pulled through even though there were scares.  When he wouldn't eat, or get up.  So he made a trip back to the vet this am to have stitches removed.  They kept him to sedate and do another x ray and remove stitches.  What they weren't expecting was a recommendation to do a very expensive surgery to put plates over the breaks.  I'm not talking hundreds, I'm talking thousands.  My heart immediately sank for them.  Our "baby" Dallas has been with us only 2 years prior to Silas and I can't imagine having to make a decision that will effect something you care about so much.  I really don't know what we'd do.  It's a lot of money.

It bothered me so much that as I started this post I completely forgot what I was going to share with you today.   I really hate this for them, but I guess it comes along with being a pet owner.  If you don't have one you really don't have any idea how much it is just like being a parent.  Feeding them, shots and check ups at the vet, a sitter if your gone and the unexpected expenses.  If you've been following my blog you know we experienced that last fall with Dallas' surgery.  We had no idea when we brought him in for his "routine" check up he'd need surgery.                                       

Silas

SIL with Silas

Dallas and Silas

Monday I saw my surgeon who did my SCS surgery.  Here is our plan.  What he recommended.  Pretty much what Mr. R said but a little different.  He checked it again.  No chance of it going back in place or the soreness, burning sensation and on and off discomfort that flares up. Living with it is just not an option.  It would make the implant pointless.  Like trading one pain for another.  He thinks our best option is stepping down to the smaller battery that I initially wanted to begin with.  The insurance professional at his office has sent a request for preauthorization.  He really can't tell me if they will agree to that being there is nothing wrong with the one I have.  They will most likely want him to try and reposition.  He said he will do his best to get them to see that there is a much greater chance of avoiding another surgery if we step down to smaller size.  The other benefit is the anchor that has my leads tied to battery will not be needed.  This anchor is also another tender spot.  Mostly when I lean against something hard.  Hence, why if you know me that's why you hardly ever see me without my cushion.  The smaller battery does not have to be anchored because even if it were to turn over in my buttock it still works.  You can still charge and communicate with the stimulator paddle.

So what if they won't?  Doc said first we try repositioning the current IPG and give it a try.  There is not much room to move anterior.  It is not an option to move further down on the buttock.  If that does not work I was assuming he'd say we'd move to the other side.  Mr. R had prepared me for that news.  What I wasn't prepared to hear is that if replacement doesn't work we wouldn't try the buttock again.  So I would have thought stomach but he said flank area.   This is side between ribs and hip bone.  Anterior placement.  Also means to be cut in 3 places and have leads tunneling through my side.  Nope, not happening.  If first two options fail, the entire SCS system is coming out.  Done, thats all I'm saying about that!

I will add that I'm ready to get it over with.  As soon as I hear from the insurance company I'm scheduling the procedure and moving on with healing again.  Part of the work D continues to work on is our pool.  Keeping it beautiful.  I want to get in so bad.  It's such good therapy for me.  The water is still to cold but won't be much longer.  Just about the time it's warm enough I'll have stitches and have to stay out.  So you see I want to get it done, heal and get in that pool!   We got it late in the summer last year so this will be the first time to enjoy an entire summer enjoying it.  In addition to pain relief it also gives me an opportunity to do something different for exercise.  Something I enjoy doing, and is not uncomfortable the entire time.

My son is doing well.  He's had a couple of sessions with a SW that he has went to on his own.  He is finally starting to feel like himself again.  He still isn't sleeping but several hours a night but the psychologist said this is normal and may continue another two weeks.  He's job searching and were thrilled that he is searching outside of the restaurant business.  Matter of fact he had an interview on Wednesday that would be a great job for him with daytime hours and benefits after 90 days.  Sick time and vacation.  He's been working since he was 16.  Being in the restaurant field had left him without ever having those benefits.  Vacation or sick time?  Nope, your sick...no pay.  You want a vacation?  Hope you've saved some money because you won't get a pay check.  At least not if your a waiter.  Maybe the chefs or managers.  Who knows, but we're thrilled he has stepped out of his comfort zone and realizes he needs to get away from that life style and hours.  It's little steps at a time but as far down as he was you couldn't just jump back to top of the ladder.  He has a long long climb up.

About Jeannie, my friend and previous employer I've written about is still here.  That's the truth of the matter.  She's just here.  She's pretty much being kept comfortable but surprisedly has moments where she is speaking and asking questions.  Matter of fact her husbands latest journal post mentioned he is struggling with what to tell her when she comes around and asks these questions.  She is confused as to why she is in a hospital bed at her home.  Why she isn't in her bed? (It's right next to their bed) For the first time in days she seemed focused on him. He struggled about what to tell her?  Always honest about everything with each other, he couldn't see himself lying to her.   So he told her just like she was being told the first time, that she has cancer.  Ed said she took it with grace and strength just like the first time but it concerned him she would ask again.  Wouldn't it be more loving to tell her something more positive?  He even asked for advise.  All of his latest posts are so tender and loving I can see him holding her hand, lying next to her singing their favorite songs as he wrote about.  They are truly an example of what "until death do us part" is all about.  Two hospice members had examined her the day before and listed several signs that the end would be soon, but also noted that her vital signs have not budged since coming home two weeks ago. 

I'm nearing 10,000 pages views on my blog.  I started a year ago and ironically I may reach that number within this anniversary month.  I never knew it would be so therapeutic for me. Nor did I realize the long distance friends I would make, and encouragement I would receive from people living with their own trials.  Thank you once again.

For the heart that finds joy in small things, in all things, ever day is a wonderful gift.
Anonymous

The week end

You know the people you work with can become like your family.  After all sometime you spend more time with them than you "real" family.  Something I miss about working.  I received an invitation to get together with them Saturday evening.  Things can change quickly.  It started out as 10.  By Friday night it was down to 5 and by Saturday morning 3.  Everyone had legit reasons and lets face it, it's pretty hard to have that big of a group to all be available on the same date.  We're going to try again soon though.  My therapist would have been happy to hear I was getting out of the house with friends.

When the plans cancelled I made a list of places I needed to go.  I wasn't going to try that if the dinner was on but since it had been postponed I made my list and decided to walk before I bathed and took off.  As I started my walk I could feel my battery starting to move around and become uncomfortable.  I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do this or not.  After about 10 minutes into it I had to hold my hand and put pressure on it to continue walking.
I usually try to do 30 minutes but I struggled to get through.  I know for sure something has to be done.

When I came in I decided to try something different.  I've been wearing a pain patch every other day.  On the opposite day using aspercream, mineral ice, heating pad I could keep going.  My husband had me try some capsaicin a few years ago and I had a terrible reaction to it.  It burned my back like it was on fire and it literally had a huge red circle on my back where it was burning.  It took several hours to go away.  Stopped the pain all right, I couldn't feel anything else.  Well, I decided to try roll on aspercream.   No mess, easy to roll on.  The cream works good for a short time so figured the roll on would penetrate even better.  NOT..... Had the same exact reaction.  A big ball of stinging fire again.  It felt like the redness on my back was going to turn into blisters.   By the time I bathed, got ready and ran my errands I had to lie down until it was time to go eat.

You see, my husband jumped on the idea that if I had plans to go out that I should keep them,  just with my him instead of my friends.  He had crawfish a couple of times already this year but not me.  I'd been wanting some.  I couldn't say no since he was offering. So he decided to take me out for crawfish.  They were great!  Nice and spicy, just the way I like them.  If your lips aren't burning then they aren't hot enough.  Just about all the times I had crawfish last year they were pretty bland.  Not these, Yummy!

When we got home I was pretty uncomfortable after the long drive on Friday and a full day Saturday.  I took my pain medicine as soon as I got in and two hours later took 3/ 200 mg ibuprofen.  Several hours later it seemed worse instead of better.  I haven't had this intense pain in awhile.  By the time I went to bed I had to take more pain med.  When it gets out of hand like that it's so hard to get under control again.  

Today was no different.  I had a restless night.  Every time I turned over in the bed my battery hurt.  Placing pressure if I ended on that side.  I got up determined not to let it beat me.  I had plans to cook a huge batch of red beans. Some for me during week and some for my son and his kind friend who is letting him stay there while he gets on his feet again.  He's doing great by the way.  I'll update you on that next post.  

Tomorrow morning is my appointment with PM doctor to go over options for getting rid of this battery discomfort.  I kind of know what he will tell, me thanks to Mr. R, but I guess the doc will need an answer from me.  I'm going to have to see someone again soon for more reprogramming.  The two Mr. R added are just not cutting it.  I told my husband I think I will give Lovely a try again.  Sometime you just need a different way of trying to reprogram to be successful.  

We opened our pool today which made me think more negative about fixing my battery issue.  Just when it will be warm enough to get in I'll be healing and have to stay out for 2-3 weeks.  I know.....complain complain.  It's just getting so old.  I have to vent sometime.  I'd just like to get up one day and feel normal.  

  closed/opened

pic of extra fencing

Our neighbor mentioned to the treasurer of the HOA who happens to live on the other side of her that she felt like our deck being midway up the fence was an invasion of her privacy.  She likes to go outside in her nightgown through out the day to smoke or take her dog out.   We really didn't have a problem with it because it made us uncomfortable when we were up there able to see over the fence into her yard anyhow.  I actually tried to avoid it.   After some time the boards will all be the same color anyway.  

Some different views.  Took the temperature and it was 60 degrees.  We took a sample to the pool place and they said we're good to go.  Pumps running again and hopeful after a couple weeks of sunshine on the water all day it will warm enough to get in.  I can't wait.  Feels so good and relaxing for my back. 

D is back at making the beer.  His first batch was a big hit so he's making some more.  Every one that he gave a bottle to said they really enjoyed it.  I think I was the only person who didn't try it.  My daughter is like me, having no taste for beer but thought if she was going to drink some it may be the one she'd try.   She said it was not bad.

God Bless everyone and hug those babies!

Staying strong....Theresa

I mentioned in last post I'd like to share with you one of the two poems the daughter in law  wrote for my cancer fighting friend.  Jeannie's youngest son is a pilot and so is his wife.  To make some sense you also need to know they like to hunt and Jeannie and Ed lost a daughter (Maggie years back) Jeannie was diagnosed on Oct 1, 2010.

The Way to Go

October first took a turn for the worst.

One of those days you would like to curse.

They went to visit her at the grave.

Flowers were brought and then they were laid.

Seventeen years have gone past, 

since they laid her there, down to rest.

It's opening day so I'm on the stand,

waiting to hear the results from the scan.

He called to tell me the news of his mother. 

It was about what they had discovered.

Hearing the painful sound of the word. 

We all asked if it could be cured.

The answer was no, not now, nor ever, 

unless its the plans of our greatest creator.

They said that she's barely alive.

It's already at stage five.

So we loaded our things and packed up clothes. 

We both knew where we wanted to go.

It was just some pains like she had before, 

but it took her to the doctors door.

You should be dead are the words he said. 

Your liver, your colon, is where it's spread.

Just two years ran through our ears,

that's the time she has left here.

Her chemo started while turning fifty-three, 

all we could do is pray from our knees.

So once a week she took the beaten, 

waiting to hear that it has weakened.

Up and down the results came through, 

but here we were now the end of year two.

We watched her with all of her might. 

She worked really hard to conquer the fight.

Here we are now almost six months past, 

wishing that time didn't travel so fast.

We've all had a chance to say goodbye,

to make it easier for us when she closes her eyes.

Ashlie N. Martin 3/29/2013