What's "Not" Happening

It's been so long I decided best to go back and read my last post.  How long ago was that now?  I've been a slacker...but I have a good excuse ok?  I'm not going to tell you I haven't had time.  We all have the same amount in every day.  I just haven't physically felt like it period!  Here's why.

During the week of my last post I started the move with my rheumatologist to try something for the fibromyalgia pain.  I've been putting if off because I don't like the choices of drugs for FM.   I had reached the desperate, I don't care any more, pain level.  "Give me something, I just want to feel better".  That's what God said through my thoughts when I opened my eyes that morning.  You can't deal with this any more.  So I emailed my doctor and asked him what he thought.  

At first he reminded me we tried it in 2011 and I asked to stop taking because of side effects and you didn't thing it was helping.  His positive side was that it was not "full blown" or a "flare up" at that time.  Now your experiencing the real ugly side of it, it can't hurt to try.  I wrote back and said, Lets go.  Last time one of the two side effects went away after two weeks even though the other hung around.  I'm ready to try anything.  So he recommended I start with a night time dose. 2-3 hours before bed time and 2-3 hours when first up is the worst.  If we can get results with a bed time dose that would be great. If that's not enough we'll make changes.   Sounded good to me so I started Thanksgiving Eve night.  I thought I noticed a small difference the following morning but didn't think possible to notice results that fast.  Night two, Thanksgiving night after traveling to and from D's families home town, even more noticeable.
  

D with his dad and one of his sisters

My family came here the day after Thanksgiving.  I had little to do.  My husband did the cooking.  My daughter brought pie and a dish.  I made a cake.  D's birthday was the day before and my moms the next day.  So I baked a birthday cake.  Not a big deal.  My granddaughter stayed the night before and she even helped.  Being on my feet a lot really effects how I feel also so I kind of jumped the game and took some of the medicine before the all over pain started with a morning dose. That has been the only day I've taken more than bedtime.  That night was my third dose.  Definitely a noticeable difference when getting up in the morning on Saturday.   I can't tell you how pleased I am with the results so far.  

Always ready to pose

My silly grandson

This medication does not effect my back in any way except that one pan level 8 is easier to manage without another pain level 8 present at same time.  I emailed Dr. C back that following Monday morning to him know I really felt like I was getting some good results.  He was thrilled to hear and hoped it continued.   

That week end after Thanksgiving brought something new to deal with though.  Life is never simple is it?  On the Saturday my pointer fingertip felt swollen and underneath side felt very tender.  Every time something touched it it felt tingly and sore.  I mentioned to D and he seemed to think I always have something hurting everywhere.   On Sunday it increased and by night time it was really feeling weird and swollen to point I couldn't bend it.  It kept waking me up during the night throbbing. 

When I went to OT Monday am she checked it out and asked the hand specialist to take a look.  Her opinion was I should get right on the phone and make an appointment with my dermatologist.  She said, "this is not going away.  What are you waiting for to happen?"  So I called.  Fooled around for 2 hours waiting for the appointment.  I had blood work at 8.  Saw my social worker at 8:45.  The OT at 10 and the PT at 11:15 to 12:30.  The PT did some more needling in my elbow and my second session on my back.  She inquired about results from the first but I let her know I'd traveled, had a day of company, and a busy week end.  Not to mention starting a new medicine in the middle of all that.  I didn't want to mislead any information to her.  I let her know in all fairness it wasn't a good week to try and judge on that.  

On to the dermatologist and he decided it was paronychia.  He treated it like staff to be on the safe side.  He said he really felt like that was what it was but without any infection present at this point to tell.  A medium dose antibiotic and recommended warm soaks or compresses which ever I preferred.  And when will this throbbing stop I asked him?  It kept me awake much of the night.  The soaks should help and after 2-3 of antibiotics in system I should feel much better.  I know I'm a pessimist, but I drove away knowing it wasn't going to be that simple based on how much it hurt.  Monday night it was worse.  Just couldn't sleep.  I soaked it on and off during night.  Tried propping it up.  Tried the TV to take my mind off of it.  Nothing worked.  At 5:30 am I gave up and got up with my husband and made coffee and tried to stop thinking about it.  I had my gloves on I wear for hand swelling at night and when I took it off in light I couldn't believe the difference it how it looked.  Oh goodness.  No wonder it's hurting even more.  It's even redder and more swollen.  

I called in at 8 when they opened and requested a call from the nurse.  At 10 I called back again.  What gives?  You saw me yesterday, I'm not making this up.  Finally at 1pm they called me back and said I needed a steroid Rx to help get the swelling under control.  All fine and dandy but I could have started on it this am.  Now I will be taking it in the evening when I haven't slept for 2 nights.  Prednisone always keeps me awake.  My pharmacist says, "didn't I see you here yesterday?". Yes sir, for the antibiotic.  In my opinion they should have given me this then too.  And yes, I was here Sunday also picking of three of the many others I take.  That's why you know me by my name.

Tuesday

Tuesday

I get home and eat some yogurt and slam back 3 prednisone's and pray that I'm awake from that and not from the throbbing feeling all night.  Unfortunately the one dose at 3pm didn't handle it.  Now on Wednesday, day 5 of the onset I see something very scary looking under my skin and a small black area under nail.  Of course this scares me.  So another call goes in.  When I reach someone I explain how many days I've taken antibiotic and i've started the prednisone.  The doctor said to call if 3 days go by and it's not better or it starts to drain.  It's not draining but it does feel like my finger will explode if it doesn't soon.  So that means it's not better!   I seriously thought about doing it myself.  I wasn't scared of poking my self just inflicting the pain to drain it.  They asked me to come in at 2:30 and I gladly agreed.

He took one look and said he was surprised I was back.  He really thought we caught it early before infection would get to that point.  He froze a small area and did a little slice and started draining.  It wasn't a pretty site and continued for some time to get it all.  I'd never have imagined he would have got that much out of my finger.  On the way home it felt so much better.  Sore, but I didn't feel the throbbing.  It was just really sore and tender.  The tough part was he wanted me to try at least 3 more time before bedtime to squeeze some more infection out.  UGH...I guess I can do this.  Yes you can he said if you don't want to come see me again.  I managed to get it done.  

Before doctor

4 hours later

I had mild throbbing and I slept so good.  I still had to keep it propped up because it tried to swell up again.  It got bumped and banged all day on Thursday.  It's the pointer finger on my prominent hand so every thing I do uses it.  Starting my car, unlock the door, writing, typing.  As long as it doesn't go on as long as the elbow pain I'm good.  I was feeling a little better that day and of course on the prednisone I feel like superwoman.  I bit off a little to much. It was throbbing again this evening.  It still looks amazingly better though.  Not sure why the swelling is sticking around.  I thought by Thursday night it would be gone but not yet.

Here it is Friday.  When I show up for OT/PT both therapist and the hand specialist wanted to know the scoop on my finger.  I showed them the pictures and of course they wanted me to uncover and see how it looked today.  It's still swollen on the underside and numb.  The hand specialist said if it was staff it will take a full 7-10 days to completely clear up.  The OT was smiling at how excited I was that my arm/elbow feels perfectly normal on this prednisone.  Of course I did have the dry needling done last week with the PT on my elbow so she deserves some credit too!  I can't wait to finish the prednisone and see how it really feels.  We did some more needling on my back today.  Nothing fun about it but I think it's helping.

So there it is, between the FM pain and this nasty infection in my finger I just couldn't bring myself to type a post.  I've been so tired.  Not even checking my email.  I really need to take a little time and get some of my surveys done before they kick me out of the program.   I've done what I can to get a little exercise in.  Trying not to worry too much because I've done ok with the WW's.  I'd would like to have lost more but I gained one the week starting Thanksgiving and back down this week.  You never know?  Somehow I deleted my picture.  You'll just have to take my word for it.  lol

I'll be challenged next week starting my treat making for all my doctors and some neighbors I like to share with.  I just try to lick the bowl instead of a sample.  My husband and I didn't get to do anything for our anniversary so we are going to dinner tomorrow night.  After we're going to stop by the outlet mall and after I pick up what is on my list for there, I will be really close to being finished shopping for Christmas.  

My mom and I

Happy Birthday D and mom

Filled with H.O.P.E. this week especially.  Hope everyone is enjoying this holiday time and not feeling stressed out over it.  It will come and go no matter what we get done so take a deep breath and enjoy the reason for the season.

Theresa

Trying to stay positive

Here is the long and short of what's up.

Since Tuesday's OT my elbow/arm has gotten worse.  The swelling and the pain.  So much so that I emailed the doctor who referred me and inquired if he thinks we could possibly going in the wrong direction.   Today I was in tears through entire treatment.   She took a different approach and tried something different today.  She felt terrible and I felt terrible for her.  I assured her I didn't think it was her.   She reminded me tendonitis is slow to heal.  Today is visit 5 and I may not get relief until 3 weeks. 

She basically pleaded with me to hang in there.  Rest my arm as much as possible once we are there.  No stretches if it brings on pain.  Wear my wrist brace but only the BANDIT when I could tolerate it.   What ever reduced the pain the most, heat or ice....use it.

Needles to say packing this evening has it way up there on the pain scale.  I have everything that I can do tonight.  I was scratching off my list and I came to "Charge Stimulator".  Great, that has to be done.  So here I am charging and decided to give you guys and update.  Typing is NOT helping but nothing is so oh well.  It's making this charging time pass a little faster.

This does not look like tendonitis to me :-(

I finally got those new tires on my car Thursday.  It's been bothering me.  Just needed time to do it.  Unfortunately they had some other bad news for me.  I'll need some work done when we return home.  I was upset about it at first but heck my car is 9 years old this month.  I've really had hardly any trouble with it at all.  It's been a good car to me.  Many people are asking why don't I just get a new car?  I really don't drive far.  When we travel we take the truck because of the bed cover.  It's almost always just me and I don't go far.  I can't see having a new car note for 4-5 years if it's not absolutely necessary.  Just how I roll.

On to the WW's saga.  The one thing I've been happy about this week.  I've lost some inches and finally made some progress on the numbers.  I think your body has to work with the plan also.  Counting calories didn't not work with my body.  It didn't have me eating what I needed to help me loose.  I'm excited to bring a few things I haven't been able to wear since the early spring.  I may have to stop after another pound or two.  My battery is getting tender like it did last year when I lost weight.  I wonder.... Why can't I loose some in my breasts, instead of the buttock?  I need that, I don't need the extra breast tissue....lol.  

So last Wednesday I was at 137 and hoping to be back to my "best" with Fitness Pal.  I accomplished that plus two.   I'm sure it was just time for it to finally start dropping but I could tell after 2 days this was going to work for me.  Sometime it's just not worth it to try an save a few dollars.

I'm a day late...I know.  Just couldn't get around to it yesterday.  Even late at night.  My arm was hurting so bad i just couldn't type at all.  I need to give a shout out to my Sister in law.
"C".  A great one she is.  She helps out my mom all the time and for that I'm so grateful.  She's a supermom, stepmom and domesticated housewife.  I sent her a text, which I am so against.  People that I don't see, they deserve a card in the mail.  Other than that, I think it's a waste of money.  It goes straight in the garbage and adds to our landfills.  My opinion!  So C....Happy belated birthday.  Hope it was special for you. 
C shares a birthday with my dad.  It was his birthday yesterday also.  See my post last year on Oct. 11 if you missed it.  We miss him so....

One last thing.  My daughter and family made it home this afternoon.  I'm so thankful God guided them home safely.  D and I will ask for the save favor as we take off tomorrow.  Our dog, Dallas, had it all figured out tonight as so as we took out the suit cases.  I really needed to give him one of my anxiety pills to calm him down.  I couldn't make him understand why it was ok tonight.  You can wait to freak out in the morning.  Which he will.

Dallas with "peanut"

I"m sure your hear from my while at the beach.  Pictures will look the same as always.  That's because it's always, beautiful, the same and that's what we love about it so much.  We can count on it to be simply beautiful.  

I made a proposal to my husband that he shave his hair and he went for it.  I was kind of shocked.  He wanted me to do it for him.  We both liked the way it came it.  A strange feeling for him to get used to.  I teased him and told him that I'd be willing to shave mine and we'd match.  No way he wanted me to do that.  I swear I would though.  Right now I can barely lift my arm as high as my shoulder.  It's just hair.  It will grow back.

"D"  Thank God he's in my life <3

Enjoy your week end.  I pray if your dealing with any physical or mental pain that you get some relief.  A little or a lot I know you'll take it.  God bess!

Hanging in there with H.O.P.E. (hold on pain ends)  I'm still waiting...and believing. 
Theresa

Sorry I am skipping the quote.  I'm exhausted and still have more to do when my stimulator is done.  (soon I hope)

It's a long one!

On Friday I went for my first appointment with the Occupational Therapist.  You know how it is on the first visit.  Just like PT, completing forms and a lot of history taking.  She measured everything from my elbow down all the way to my fingertips.  It was amazing the things she pointed out to me.  A few minutes into her exam she said to me, "your hurting aren't you?"  Yes, I answered, but it's my back.  I had sat in waiting area for 15 minutes and been in her chair for 15 minutes. I asked her how long did she think we'd be today.  About another hour she told me. 

She offered me heat and I declined.  The therapist next to her told her she should sign me up for PT on my back also while I'm there.  I told her I'd already been through that numerous times and continued at home to this day.  She asked me who I saw and was surprised I remembered her name.  As we proceeded she pointed out to me that my left elbow was swollen and fingers on left hand swollen.  I mentioned I had told my rheumatologist that it was obvious the left side was worse.  She put me in a BANDIT.  A brace worn on the forearm commonly used for lateral epicondylitis, carpal tunnel and other types of forearm and wrist pain.  She also recommended and gave me some gloves for when I'm sleeping to help with the swelling. She had me put one on to try for size and it was insane how it felt so soothing just to have a "glove" on my hand.

Whats weird is I'd been complaining to my husband that I couldn't wear my wedding ring for some time now. This is something he definitely notices.   After I'd been dieting these past weeks and dropped some pounds I still couldn't put it on.  If I did get it on I couldn't get it off without soap.  Now I know why.  

The BANDIT

During this exam they have you make various hand gestures and movements with your fingers.  You also have to squeeze and press on different instruments with your fingers/hands.  As we moved to the right arm she noticed that a certain placement with my thumb caused pain shooting from wrist to thumb area.  It's crazy the things they look at.  After this discovery she had me flip my palms over and flatten my hand.  The left side was flat across the thumb to other side of hand.  The right side was strangely uneven.  It was like an incline, not flat like the other side.  I'm assuming this had something to do with why the pain was created with the movement she had me make?  

When we're done I think I'm getting out of there and she tells me she is next going to make me a splint for my right hand. It will prevent my thumb and wrist from moving so that over time....a short time I hope, it will get better with rest.  I was cool with that.  I'm a compliant patient.  It took about 20 minutes for her to cut out this form, heat it and mold it around my wrist.  We get it on for good after trimming and smoothing ruff edges and I immediately begin to think this might be difficult being it's my right hand.  Then she drops the bombshell that I should refrain from texting.  If you use your thumb you won't be able to anyhow. 
Ha, Ha, I told her.  Most of the people I commonly text with on daily basis do not want to be on the phone.  Guess I'll be leaving some voice mails.  

Exactly at hour and a half mark we were done.  I walked out with apparatus on each side.  I asked how long I could expect my two visits next week to last and she told me an hour now that all the other stuff was out of the way.  We'll be starting the therapy next visit. 

Right arm

Left arm

My husband and I had plans to take my grandson to members night at the zoo.  I thought to myself as the day progressed, and I saw how challenging it was really going to have this brace on my hand, was I sure we could still go?  I just felt so dysfunctional.  I knew D would be able to do anything I couldn't and I was really looking forward to taking P to this event.  

We headed out at 4:15 to make our way to the zoo and instantly was shut down with a back up on the interstate.  An update from D's app told us there was a lane closure ahead and an accident on the Mississippi river bridge.  Holy cow, what luck.  We crawled for 30 minutes to get to a loup that puts you on another interstate and then we took Airline Hwy to I-110.  It was 6pm when we made it there.  An hour and a half.  It's typically a 40 minute drive from my house.  

All was well though.  We made it.  P had a great time.  He wanted to get his face painted and was willing to wait in a seriously long line.  Never complained once.  I guess he really wanted this.  His mom told me via text that he'd never had this done and we may be waiting for nothing.  Oh well, it's what he wants to do and thats what this trip was all about. How are you texting she wanted to know?  With my left thumb...slowly. 

His first face paint

After that we went to see some other activities they were having and then we came across the bubble activity.  It was a huge circle around you attached to a rope.  As you pulled the rope the circle came up and made a bubble ring around you.  It was pretty cool and P definitely wanted to try.  So, we get in another long line that he had no problem with.  It was around 7:15 and the sun was just starting to go down.  I took a picture of a young girl doing it so I could show mom what we were waiting for.  I was confidant that by the time we made it up there it would be dark.  It was as you could see by the difference in the pictures.  The mosquitos ate up my ankles and neck.  Even D was bothered with them.  He rarely gets bitten even when I end up covered with bites. I definitely wore the wrong shoes to walk around in especially when getting warm and sweating.  Just because some shoes are comfortable for some things, they are not for others.  I ended up with huge blisters on both pinky toes.  We stopped to eat on the way home then met my daughter to return P.  

Too proud!

Go Go Go everyone cheered!

I think it was around 9:30 when we made it home and I couldn't wait to take the brace off of my hand.  First I took off the BANTIT.  Other than leaving an imprint, it was fine.  I realized that it definitely was working.  There were things I did that normally cause it to really hurt and it was so mild vs moderately painful.  The brace was another story.  As I removed it I had deep imprints on the top of my hand near my knuckles.  I knew something wasn't right earlier and I should have taken it off then.  The OT said if it bothers you somewhere, take it off and we'll adjust it Tuesday.  With us being busy and I kind of brushed it off thinking it was hurting because of the correction.  I can tell you I had no pain in that area AT ALL before she put that brace on me and at that moment when I took it off and stopped to rest my hand/wrist was throbbing!  Almost to the point of tears a few minutes later.

I took some advil and propped it up on a pillow with ice.  I took pictures to show her on Tuesday and decided at that moment that I was not putting that contraption on again until I saw her on Tuesday. I'm sure it just needs to be trimmed but I can tell you I have a bad taste in my mouth for it now!  

Saturday I woke up with no pain at all in that hand/wrist. The brace today is right where I left it Friday night.  It was cutting me in between my thumb and pointer, the top of palm and on my wrist on bottom side.  My husband and I both said, "we're not doing anything today...let's take it easy."  Let's face it, that never really happens.  The morning I just did laundry but later I got into the pool and swam laps.  It had been two days off from exercise and I just had to do it.  Before that swim only my back was bothering me.  My hand had felt better when I woke up and I wore the BANDIT at all possible times.  

After swimming I decided to set up the vacuum to clean the pool.  It had been awhile.  It really wasn't too dirty but it seemed like a good time to do it.  There is a lot of hoses to be joined together involved in set up.  A twisting motion.  I told my husband after that it's crazy how you don't realize the muscles you use until they are painful to use.  Every hose I attached I cringed as I twisted it on.  As soon as I was done I put the BANDIT back on.  The plants still had to be watered.  

This is a 30 minute project front and back.  By the time I unwound and put back the hose front and back I was in tears.  When I came inside I told my husband I was going to lay down.  I literally cried my elbow hurt so bad.  What was it?  The lap swimming?  The twisting motion with the vacuum hoses. Watering the plants.  Heck, I guess maybe a combination off all things.  I don't know, but I went into depressed mode and shut down.  I put an ice pack on my elbow and alternated with heat ice heat ice for about two hours until I could stand the pain without it.  I had a HUGE pity party.  Why me?  Isn't my back enough.  Why?  Why?  Why?

Unfortunately we don't get these answers when we want them.  I tried to think of thing of things that could be worse and I came up with a lot.  When you deal with chronic pain everyday it becomes really easy to slip into depression and feeling like it's only you and why you?

The last two nights have been worst since revision surgery in May.  Friday night my hand and wrist throbbing and last night the elbow pain was unbearable.  I never left the bed after I came in from watering at 6:30.  Today has been better.  My hand has some relief but I'm dreading Tuesday to be put back into the brace after an adjustment.  It really brings some limitations. I question only because I didn't go there with pain in that area. 

I've had my BANDIT on the left side all day.  It's tender and sore but I've also REALLY taken it easy today.  Hint hint this long post. Typing is something you do that causes irritation to both problems so you'd think I'd keep it short.  I didn't type this all at one sitting.  It's been through out the day.  

My husband deals with shoulder pain on and off year after year.  He goes to PT it gets better then it comes back.  He's been swimming a good bit following seeing me swim laps.  Yesterday and this morning he volunteered at church helping prepare for a fundraiser at all masses today.  Yesterday was a lot of prep work and today he said he did a repetitive motion a lot.  I arrived home from Sam's to see him holding his shoulder (as near tears as a man can get) complaining about how bad he was hurting.  My husband rarely complains.  How can he?  I don't give him a chance.  Multiple times today I've heard some moaning and groaning while holding his shoulder.  I told him that people say they know how you feel but really they don't.  I really know how you feel babe.  Can you imagine at this moment if that pain doesn't go away with rest?  That's my life EVERYDAY!  I made sure he didn't think I did't have any sympathy for him.  It was just pointing out that I DO understand how you feel because I know, I feel it everyday.  Be grateful you always end up with relief at some point.  Something I'd give anything for.  I'm sure he'd give anything for me to have also.  Then I'd be like the person he married 9 years ago.

Maybe this caused it? He says "No"

The good news is two weeks from yesterday we're heading to the beach.  Surely when I leave my home I will take it easy and relax.  I can't believe September has just flown by us.  Tomorrow, Monday the beginning of a new week.  Let's just be joyful we're here and see what it brings us.  I know it's hard to believe here from what I write but there are many things I am thankful for.  

Have a blessed week.  Never giving up H.O.P.E. (hold on pain ends) Theresa

how the bubble ring looked with daylight

DESTINY

Watch your thoughts; they become words

Watch your words; they become actions

Watch your actions; they become habits

Watch your habits; they become character

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny