No place like home

Well, I made it back safe and sound.  I won't say I returned rested and relaxed by no means.  I'll take safe and sound first anyhow.   I knew before we left sleep would be an issue for me.  I have trouble getting it at home in my own bed.  For to many years I've been awake all night away from home not able to sleep.  I had my psychologist prescribe me 5 Ambien in case of desperation.  

It's an awful medicine to get off of if you take to long, my opinion, so I swore I'd never use it again.    Never say never.  The first night the weather was terrible.  We had a balcony stateroom so you could hear all noises outside in the ocean.  It was the first time I'd been on a floor that high.  ( because of balcony) You notice the rocking of the ship a lot more on deck 9.  Thank goodness there was only one other night of bad weather.  I was pretty scared and not ashamed to admit it.  My mom was out enjoying herself that first night and at 2 am my anxious self was still wide awake when she came in.  Yes, I'd taken the ambien.  Even after she was in I still couldn't relax and sleep.  Lets just say she makes a little noise when sleeping.  Like my dear husband, but a little louder.  The first night was pretty rough and I was glad to see the morning come.  I got approximately 3-4 hours sleep and my body was not happy with me for it.  

Each night was some battle.  My mother worried about me so much she purposely stayed out one night hoping I'd get some sleep.  Unfortunately, I don't sleep on demand.  Kind of like a day time nap.  No matter how tired, my body just refuses.  By Wednesday night I'd come up with putting my ear pieces in my ears instead of just resting my phone on the side of my pillow.  ( using the pink noise app)  When I did go to sleep this helped drown out any noises in the room.  Yes, there were others.  A creaking door that lead to connecting staterooms.  Our noisy guests next door.  They really didn't care what time it was to go out on the balcony and make noise and celebrate.  Next cruise, if there is one, I'll request to be in between two elderly couples.  

"The Pearl" Our ship is behind, a little bigger "The Spirit"

Outside of the sleep issue we enjoyed ourself.  The food was wonderful.  Hard decisions on where and what to eat.   So many options to do it was hard to choose each night.  One night before a show we went to game show at a night club.  The band played a snip it from a television series theme and you had to take a guess and write it down.  The crowd was in groups and very competitive.  I surprised myself at how many I knew.  Turns out many of the 25 were from when I was little so I knew the answer.  My mom recognized the music but didn't know the name being she didn't really see the programs.  Some of them were: The Brady Bunch, The Adams Family, Green Acres, Bonanza, The Pink Panther, The Odd Couple and The Rockford Files to name a few.  That was fun.  Another lady with us was really into it and got so excited with everyone we had right.  You'd swear our prize was a million dollars.

Every night there was some sort of excellent entertainment in the "Stardust Theater"  On the Monday night we saw a comedian who had our jaws hurting he was so funny.  I haven't laughed that hard in some time.  There was an act of two Russians, ( male and female ) who were amazing.  I don't know if they were lovers, but they sure seemed to be.  It was a beautiful, death defying romantic performance.  I won't bore you with every night.  It was well worth your time to go an see.  The only down side was we had to really get there early to get a seat at the end of an isle. The theater held a lot of guests but it was one long isle.  You know, where there is no way for someone to pass unless you stand up?  It's quite and effort sometime for me to get up out of those types of chairs.  I didn't care if I had to sit at the top.  It was worth it to not climb over people and to stand up and stretch any time I felt like it.  

My friends and family are very familiar with my cushion I carry around everywhere with me.  It made it all over that cruse ship and back home.  If only it could talk....

After a show one night they had a chocolate lovers buffet.  There is not one thing chocolate they didn't have.  Cheese cake, any and every kind of cake.  Chocolate sculptures.  Chocolate covered things!  It was a sight to see.  The only down side was the time of night.  It was late.  I really can't have caffein after lunch much less at 10:45 at night.  That's ok, my mom enjoyed for both of us.  Love you mom. 

one of the chocolate sculptures 

I would say one of my moms favorite things was listening to music.  She loves to hear a live band and loves to dance.  She even got up on stage with one female singer she befriended and the lead singer officially titled her as her "back up dancer". My mom got a huge round of applause after.  I took a few pictures during then I took off before the song was over in case my mom came towards me.  Hee hee.
Seriously I'm just joking.  She loved it and I loved seeing her enjoy herself. 

Mom's new friend

"Proud Mary"

Another thing the two of us enjoyed was a massage.  I went first and she had hers a couple hours following me.  We had the same massage therapist and she was great.  I've never been disappointed with a massage on a cruise.   This was my third time cruising and my third time meeting a wonderful person who taught me something.   They had a steam room to use and I definitely made use of it everyday, but once.  It really helped with the bursitis and fibro pain.  Oh how I miss going to the one at the "Y".  It feels so awesome when you leave.  If you've never tried it, please do.  It's great for muscle and joint pain, to release toxins and leave your skin looking good.  I'm sure there are many other benefits.  

We got off of the boat on three different occasions.  My mom and I were a good pair for shopping because neither of us can make it very long.  We were usually ready to return around the same time.
At every port we met interesting people and had good conversation.  It was the same on the boat.  Every night we met someone new and then would end up seeing them again.  I met a couple the first day who were on their honeymoon and I saw them most everyday.   With 2500 passengers you wouldn't expect it, but it happened.  He had been on quite a few cruises but it was her first.  

goofing off in Costa Maya

She's going in

During dinner at one of the nicer restaurants we met an interesting couple who'd seem to done a lot of traveling.  They had some interesting stories to share  On the other side of us were two nice gentlemen who were just as pleasant and joined us in our conversations.  Made for an interesting dinner night.  We only seemed to meet and spend time with very friendly people.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner, shows, karaoke, dancing or site seeing.  We didn't run across anyone who wasn't kind to us.  

At dinner one night

With all that said, I still couldn't be happier to step foot on the port of New Orleans.  Check my passport and let me out of here.  I miss my hubby and my family.  I haven't been that happy to see him in some time.  I guess it's good to get away from your spouse sometime to really appreciate them.  Of course the baby at home really missed me too.  Dallas.  I'll update you on him next post.  He has a surgery coming up in two weeks.  I didn't sleep much the first night home, but I will say the second night I was sleeping at 11pm and did not wake up until 9:45 am.  VERY unusual for me.  I sure needed it.  I can't tell you the last time I had that much sleep.   

I'm struggling with fibromyalgia pain at intense levels.  Hence my outbreak of hives since I've been home.  It made two weeks yesterday that I've been off of the Lyrica.  I'm not sure how I'll continue to keep going without it.  The good news is my stimulator is still in check.  I believe I'm setting a record for myself now on time between adjustments.  I'd never have survived the cruise without it.  

Speaking of my stimulator, as a fellow blogger who recently stated, you get to cut the line when passing through the zapper. (that's what I call it)  I had my card out to show them and they barely looked at it.  He just waved me on over and patted me down.  On the boat, as we got on and off at various ports, it was even easier.  I flashed the card and they just had me bypass.  No patting.  

I'm praying for a blessed Easter Sunday for everyone.  Don't over do it please.  You know the following day is really the one that kills you.  I'm thankful to be home.  I'm thankful for my life, my family and friends.  I'm also thankful for the support of the above and my readers.  Your emails and own blogs inspire me to keep on keeping on sometime.  

God Bless.....
Full of H.O.P.E. 
Theresa

What's "Not" Happening

It's been so long I decided best to go back and read my last post.  How long ago was that now?  I've been a slacker...but I have a good excuse ok?  I'm not going to tell you I haven't had time.  We all have the same amount in every day.  I just haven't physically felt like it period!  Here's why.

During the week of my last post I started the move with my rheumatologist to try something for the fibromyalgia pain.  I've been putting if off because I don't like the choices of drugs for FM.   I had reached the desperate, I don't care any more, pain level.  "Give me something, I just want to feel better".  That's what God said through my thoughts when I opened my eyes that morning.  You can't deal with this any more.  So I emailed my doctor and asked him what he thought.  

At first he reminded me we tried it in 2011 and I asked to stop taking because of side effects and you didn't thing it was helping.  His positive side was that it was not "full blown" or a "flare up" at that time.  Now your experiencing the real ugly side of it, it can't hurt to try.  I wrote back and said, Lets go.  Last time one of the two side effects went away after two weeks even though the other hung around.  I'm ready to try anything.  So he recommended I start with a night time dose. 2-3 hours before bed time and 2-3 hours when first up is the worst.  If we can get results with a bed time dose that would be great. If that's not enough we'll make changes.   Sounded good to me so I started Thanksgiving Eve night.  I thought I noticed a small difference the following morning but didn't think possible to notice results that fast.  Night two, Thanksgiving night after traveling to and from D's families home town, even more noticeable.
  

D with his dad and one of his sisters

My family came here the day after Thanksgiving.  I had little to do.  My husband did the cooking.  My daughter brought pie and a dish.  I made a cake.  D's birthday was the day before and my moms the next day.  So I baked a birthday cake.  Not a big deal.  My granddaughter stayed the night before and she even helped.  Being on my feet a lot really effects how I feel also so I kind of jumped the game and took some of the medicine before the all over pain started with a morning dose. That has been the only day I've taken more than bedtime.  That night was my third dose.  Definitely a noticeable difference when getting up in the morning on Saturday.   I can't tell you how pleased I am with the results so far.  

Always ready to pose

My silly grandson

This medication does not effect my back in any way except that one pan level 8 is easier to manage without another pain level 8 present at same time.  I emailed Dr. C back that following Monday morning to him know I really felt like I was getting some good results.  He was thrilled to hear and hoped it continued.   

That week end after Thanksgiving brought something new to deal with though.  Life is never simple is it?  On the Saturday my pointer fingertip felt swollen and underneath side felt very tender.  Every time something touched it it felt tingly and sore.  I mentioned to D and he seemed to think I always have something hurting everywhere.   On Sunday it increased and by night time it was really feeling weird and swollen to point I couldn't bend it.  It kept waking me up during the night throbbing. 

When I went to OT Monday am she checked it out and asked the hand specialist to take a look.  Her opinion was I should get right on the phone and make an appointment with my dermatologist.  She said, "this is not going away.  What are you waiting for to happen?"  So I called.  Fooled around for 2 hours waiting for the appointment.  I had blood work at 8.  Saw my social worker at 8:45.  The OT at 10 and the PT at 11:15 to 12:30.  The PT did some more needling in my elbow and my second session on my back.  She inquired about results from the first but I let her know I'd traveled, had a day of company, and a busy week end.  Not to mention starting a new medicine in the middle of all that.  I didn't want to mislead any information to her.  I let her know in all fairness it wasn't a good week to try and judge on that.  

On to the dermatologist and he decided it was paronychia.  He treated it like staff to be on the safe side.  He said he really felt like that was what it was but without any infection present at this point to tell.  A medium dose antibiotic and recommended warm soaks or compresses which ever I preferred.  And when will this throbbing stop I asked him?  It kept me awake much of the night.  The soaks should help and after 2-3 of antibiotics in system I should feel much better.  I know I'm a pessimist, but I drove away knowing it wasn't going to be that simple based on how much it hurt.  Monday night it was worse.  Just couldn't sleep.  I soaked it on and off during night.  Tried propping it up.  Tried the TV to take my mind off of it.  Nothing worked.  At 5:30 am I gave up and got up with my husband and made coffee and tried to stop thinking about it.  I had my gloves on I wear for hand swelling at night and when I took it off in light I couldn't believe the difference it how it looked.  Oh goodness.  No wonder it's hurting even more.  It's even redder and more swollen.  

I called in at 8 when they opened and requested a call from the nurse.  At 10 I called back again.  What gives?  You saw me yesterday, I'm not making this up.  Finally at 1pm they called me back and said I needed a steroid Rx to help get the swelling under control.  All fine and dandy but I could have started on it this am.  Now I will be taking it in the evening when I haven't slept for 2 nights.  Prednisone always keeps me awake.  My pharmacist says, "didn't I see you here yesterday?". Yes sir, for the antibiotic.  In my opinion they should have given me this then too.  And yes, I was here Sunday also picking of three of the many others I take.  That's why you know me by my name.

Tuesday

Tuesday

I get home and eat some yogurt and slam back 3 prednisone's and pray that I'm awake from that and not from the throbbing feeling all night.  Unfortunately the one dose at 3pm didn't handle it.  Now on Wednesday, day 5 of the onset I see something very scary looking under my skin and a small black area under nail.  Of course this scares me.  So another call goes in.  When I reach someone I explain how many days I've taken antibiotic and i've started the prednisone.  The doctor said to call if 3 days go by and it's not better or it starts to drain.  It's not draining but it does feel like my finger will explode if it doesn't soon.  So that means it's not better!   I seriously thought about doing it myself.  I wasn't scared of poking my self just inflicting the pain to drain it.  They asked me to come in at 2:30 and I gladly agreed.

He took one look and said he was surprised I was back.  He really thought we caught it early before infection would get to that point.  He froze a small area and did a little slice and started draining.  It wasn't a pretty site and continued for some time to get it all.  I'd never have imagined he would have got that much out of my finger.  On the way home it felt so much better.  Sore, but I didn't feel the throbbing.  It was just really sore and tender.  The tough part was he wanted me to try at least 3 more time before bedtime to squeeze some more infection out.  UGH...I guess I can do this.  Yes you can he said if you don't want to come see me again.  I managed to get it done.  

Before doctor

4 hours later

I had mild throbbing and I slept so good.  I still had to keep it propped up because it tried to swell up again.  It got bumped and banged all day on Thursday.  It's the pointer finger on my prominent hand so every thing I do uses it.  Starting my car, unlock the door, writing, typing.  As long as it doesn't go on as long as the elbow pain I'm good.  I was feeling a little better that day and of course on the prednisone I feel like superwoman.  I bit off a little to much. It was throbbing again this evening.  It still looks amazingly better though.  Not sure why the swelling is sticking around.  I thought by Thursday night it would be gone but not yet.

Here it is Friday.  When I show up for OT/PT both therapist and the hand specialist wanted to know the scoop on my finger.  I showed them the pictures and of course they wanted me to uncover and see how it looked today.  It's still swollen on the underside and numb.  The hand specialist said if it was staff it will take a full 7-10 days to completely clear up.  The OT was smiling at how excited I was that my arm/elbow feels perfectly normal on this prednisone.  Of course I did have the dry needling done last week with the PT on my elbow so she deserves some credit too!  I can't wait to finish the prednisone and see how it really feels.  We did some more needling on my back today.  Nothing fun about it but I think it's helping.

So there it is, between the FM pain and this nasty infection in my finger I just couldn't bring myself to type a post.  I've been so tired.  Not even checking my email.  I really need to take a little time and get some of my surveys done before they kick me out of the program.   I've done what I can to get a little exercise in.  Trying not to worry too much because I've done ok with the WW's.  I'd would like to have lost more but I gained one the week starting Thanksgiving and back down this week.  You never know?  Somehow I deleted my picture.  You'll just have to take my word for it.  lol

I'll be challenged next week starting my treat making for all my doctors and some neighbors I like to share with.  I just try to lick the bowl instead of a sample.  My husband and I didn't get to do anything for our anniversary so we are going to dinner tomorrow night.  After we're going to stop by the outlet mall and after I pick up what is on my list for there, I will be really close to being finished shopping for Christmas.  

My mom and I

Happy Birthday D and mom

Filled with H.O.P.E. this week especially.  Hope everyone is enjoying this holiday time and not feeling stressed out over it.  It will come and go no matter what we get done so take a deep breath and enjoy the reason for the season.

Theresa

Another down 2 to go

A little more progress!  I'm now at the point WW's says I've met my goal.  My real goal is 130 but according to them 132 is my "safe weight" goal.  I'm ok with where I'm at, but I'd like to get there so I can splurge a little over the holidays.

Friday I saw my pain management doctor.  We had a good talk about how things are going.  I asked him if and when my elbow is better if I can try some needling on my back.  He said it would be ok as long as she stays away from the leads going from spine to battery.  He said they should talk first.  When I go for my OT appointment this week I will discuss with the PT who does it and see if she will call him.  

My back pain seems to be increasing lately.  I think it's the weather.  If there is some chance this will help I'm willing to try anything.  Even if it's temporary.  It would be nice to have a little relief over Christmas.  

Now I can't seem to put anything in my buggy without looking for trans fat or Tertiary Butylhydroquinone.  Commonly called TBHQ.  TBHQ is a preservative which is made from butane.  It's used to delay the onset of rancidness and greatly effects the storage life of food.  You can find a lot of information just by googling "TBHQ"  You will find people who disagree but I think there is enough evidence to stay away as much as possible.  I don't think I can completely avoid it but I surely plan to try.  Here are a couple things I found in my pantry.

red bean seasonings 

crackers

I mentioned last week that D got my tree down and put together for me.  It's all arranged and has been plugged in every night.  Other than that it's just there.  My daughter and grandson came to visit Saturday.  We were going to decorate but never got around to it. We spent some time outside then had lunch.  B even did some sewing for me while here.  There is never a dull moment with P around.  A good laugh and a lot of questions!

I'm so proud of my daughter.  She is quite the homemaker.  She has already made the new baby a blanket, outfits and some crochet for her hair.  That girl can accomplish anything she puts her mind to.  I can't seem to get past the dishcloth with my crocheting.  

finding ways to entertain himself!

fixing my favorite shorts

My granddaughter was supposed to come too but she became sick during the week so it was best for her to stay near her doctor.  I got to ichat with her last night.  We read some books and she sang some songs for me.  Thank goodness for technology.  Her grandmother there where she lives sent some pictures to share with me. Her preschool went to a pumpkin patch.  Appears they had a grand time.

shared by "Maw Maw" :-)

 I have actually bought a few Christmas presents. I saved the toy ad and both of my grandkids have circled toys they would like for Santa to bring them. This is a big help for Nonna.  I'll bring it with me and hopefully that shopping trip will be successful too!

I can't believe Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away.  I'm already getting anxiety about being prepared.  It will all be fine and I have to remember that.

It's getting late.  I'm closing to try and get some rest tonight.  I've been having trouble sleeping through the night with my back and arm hurting together.  It's been slow but I can finally say I'm showing signs of improvement.  I've increased my number of reps the OT has me doing at home. The majority of the pain is at night again.  

Ha, I just completely forgot to hit publish. I signed on today to read some of the blogs I follow and see my post in drafts.  Felt like I needed to explain why the days may not make sense!
Have an awesome week.  Watching DWTS can't wait to see who wins next week.

Not giving up H.O.P.E.
Theresa

BACK SAVERS

Bend at your hips not at your waist.

Avoid lying on your stomach.

Lift heavy objects no higher than your waist.

Sit down to put on socks, shoes, pants--don't bend over

Get down on one knee before picking up

a small child or infant from the floor.

When reading, don't bend your neck or shoulders --bring

your book up to your eyes by placing two pillows on your lap 

and propping the book on top of them.

The good and the bad

The good....Met with Mr. R this morning.  We did a lot of good in an hours time.  It usually takes a little longer.  I've been needing to seem him for several weeks now because I was down to one program I could tolerate.  I text him a couple of weeks ago and I didn't hear back from him so I just pushed it a little longer.  He's told me time and time again if I don't answer you please please bug me.  He gets so many emails and texts every day from patients it easily happens.  I could have done that but it was just as much my fault as his because I really wasn't wanting to go through the process.

Saturday I was so annoyed with my stimulator I could have thrown the remote across the room.  9 programs and 0 working.  Twice during the day I took the time to give each one a try again.  Being a 9 on the pain scale day you just couldn't deal with me.  My husband was tired of hearing me gripe about it.  I think he was worried I'd really slam the thing across the room.  It was just so frustrating.  I sat down to text Mr. R and realized his number was one of the ones that didn't transfer to this temporary phone so I was in a pickle.  I found his associates number and text her but by Sunday afternoon no word back from her.  Finally I remembered I had his business card in my charging bag.  I text him and begged to see him ASAP.  He put me down for this am @ 9.

When he came to get me from reception area the first thing he said to me was an apology for not replying a couple of weeks ago.  He fussed at me because I didn't bug him.  I told him no worries it was just as much my fault.  Desperate now, I was definitely planning to bug you, I told him.   Within an hours time he had three new programs for me that I hope stick around for some time.  One is the best I've ever had.  Puzzles me why they just don't last.  I asked Mr. R about this and he said everyone is different.  He has some cases he programmed a few weeks out from surgery and never needed again.  Some people call him once a year and a handful that he sees several times a year.  He said my case was difficult from the start.  We've always had trouble finding that "sweet spot" so it's not surprising to him that I continue to need reprogramming.  I can live with that as long as we don't get to the point that we can't find a way to make it work.  

He shared with me that St. Jude has a new battery coming out in 2-3 years.  It's still in trial right now in Europe.  When it is cleared to be on the medical market he said it will be perfect for me.  You won't feel any stimulation at all.  It will just work without the stimulation.  When you turn it on it just blocks the pain but you don't feel anything.  So if it's zapping me in my stomach it wouldn't matter because I won't feel it.  This news gives me hope that things can get even better.

The bad....on the scale today I'm UP half a pound.  139  I started weighing everyday the day I started the new water drinking method.  I wanted to see if it was making a difference.  Everyday that I weighed I was 138 which was half a pound down from last week on Tuesday.  I started weighing everyday on Thursday.  So how shocked was I when I weigh today thinking it might even be lower and bam it was up!  They recommend you shouldn't weigh everyday for that reason.  Your weight can fluctuate day to day when dieting.  If I wouldn't have been doing that I probably wouldn't have been so disappointed because I would have looked at it as up half a pound and not a whole pound.  

So needless to say I did not feel the need to snap a picture of this "weight gain".  Figured you all would take my word for it.  I've been pushing myself hard in the pool since I can't do anything more than I already do on my recumbent bike.  Previously I mainly was doing PT exercises and stretches.  I've been swimming laps and water jogging so maybe I've put on some muscle?  I was shocked at the calories you burn water jogging.  In 10 minutes it is as much as I burn 30 minutes on my bike.  

The bursitis in my elbows and knees is giving me heck.  I really thought the additional time in the pool would help but it seems to be making it worse.  My elbows are keeping me from sleeping.  Every move I make wakes me up.  I've been staying off the free weights to see if that would help but it's been a month now and seems worse.  I have an appointment with my rheumatologist next month hopefully he can give me some advise. 

I've had my feet up and on the heating pad while typing this post.  Time to get up and get something done around here.  I want to try and pickle some of my banana peppers.  To many to eat.  I've been putting in everything from my salad to on my sandwich.  

Hopefully next post I have pictures again.  I haven't tried to put pictures from this "other" phone onto my computer.   I'm afraid it won't be as simple as with my iphone.  It takes awesome pictures though.  13 pixels.  I took a picture of my husband in the pool last evening from some distance.  My dog just happened to be on the steps of the deck.  I noticed when I zoom in to just him in the photo it doesn't even get blurry.  That part of the phone I love.  It takes better quality pictures than my iphone.  

Enjoy the rest of your week.   
Not giving up H.O.P.E.
Theresa

Six steps to successful communication

Think of the word "ladder" to help you remember

L ook at the person speaking to you

A sk questions

D on't interrupt

D on't change the subject

E mpathize

R espond verbally and nonverbally

I should be sleeping

When I was young and we had a family vacation planned, a camping trip or an out of town visit with family my mom was always last to bed and first to rise.  She could never rest her head knowing something needed to be done.  Some things never change, she's still the same.  Guess what?  So am I.  As an adult I've learned that it's part of being a mother.  Making sure every thing is right for our children, our husband.  I handled things the same way.  Always up late with last minute things.  For me I'd rather be up late than have to get up early to get it done.  It takes me hours to get to sleep so why not finish what I'm doing so that's not on my mind while trying to get to dream land.

So here I am tonight. Partially packed.  Still with things I need to take care of. (don't worry, it's all written down, I won't forget anything) Especially my medicine. I couldn't make this drive without them.  My back and legs just won't carry me any longer.  I wanted all my plants and flowers watered.  My neighbor will come and water for me Saturday.  Dinner, watering, packing for Dallas to go to doggy day care.  It just didn't seem to end.  Everything is laid out that needs to go in suit case.  Bathroom and food is packed.  Everything from fridge needs to go in ice chest in the morning is all together so D doesn't have to ask me in the morning, "what goes in the chest?"  He means for me, he knows what he needs.  Beer, check....margarita mix, check....bloody mary ingredients, check...diet coke, check.  

I've given in to laying down to check my email and rest.  I'm crying and I have absolutely no idea why.  Simple things overwhelm me sometime.  Every time D and I hit the highway I get nervous about traveling.  I hate the interstate.  The harder I push myself the more cranky I get.  So I'm venting and then I'll do a little more and maybe I'll be feeling sleepy by then.  D will be up bright and early.  Refreshed and smiling.  I drag myself out moaning and groaning to the Keurig. 

Oh yeah, back to the email.  Two email from friends.  One a fairly new friend via this blog.  She always seems to email me at the right time and say the right thing like she just knew what I needed to hear.  My ailments are so minor compared to hers.  Yet she constantly encourages all of us.  She truly understands, and for that...I love her.  The other email from a long time friend had a couple of sayings that she said reminded her of me.  Thank you dear.  Your being kind.  I really try hard not to complain to much but honestly if you'd listen I would all day.  I don't do it near as much as I do on here.  

A Strong Woman

She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. She smiles when she feels like screaming, and she sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she's happy and laughs when she's afraid. Her love is unconditional. There's only one thing wrong with her. She forgets what she's worth!  I love you girl .  

Joyce Meyer wrote :

A strong woman knows how to keep her life in order. Even with tears in her eyes, she still manages to say 'I'm Ok' with a smile. 

I'd heard the Joyce Myers before.  I used to faithfully watch her every night.  I even went to one of her conferences in St. Louis with my mom and a friend a few years back.  I've also read and own many of her books.  If you need a fire lit under you and some inspiration and or encouragement look her up and get some information.  She's great!  

I got a call this morning from the professional at the surgery center who is working with my insurance company.  I was so nervous when I saw the number.  Hoping for good news I answered.  Turns out not good or bad.  He said he'd talked to them and they were supposed to have an answer for him by end of day.  I don't know how he knows but he said it looks good for them to approve  a new battery for me.  He was just waiting for medical advisor to sign off on it.  He promised to call me first thing in the morning if he didn't get an answer today.  I've been fussing about getting an answer so I can get it over but I admit I'm not looking forward to being cut on again.  It's really getting old.  But dealing with this additional unnecessary pain is also.  

Guess I should get back to packing.  I'm so slow in the morning.  I need to push myself  a little more.  Sometime you wonder....is it worth it?  When I get there and I'm on the beach I'll then say YES!. 

I baked some Nutella cookies for some friends last night.  Husband and wife.  Their anniversary was last Wednesday, Friday her birthday and his was today.  The cookies were a bit hit. If you've never made them please do.  They are seriously delightful.  I made sure not to leave any behind because I can't keep my hands off of them.  

After everything is mixed it looks like ice cream.  Then chocolate drops before baking.  When they come out soft and gooey like brownies.  Yummy.  They don't stay soft, but a nuk in the microwave and they taste like right from the oven again.  Of course they are good crunchy too!

I'll catch up with everyone while I'm relaxing on the beach.  
God Bless and love to all. T

all ingredients mix together

tablespoon drops of mixture

Ta da, yummy!

The week end

You know the people you work with can become like your family.  After all sometime you spend more time with them than you "real" family.  Something I miss about working.  I received an invitation to get together with them Saturday evening.  Things can change quickly.  It started out as 10.  By Friday night it was down to 5 and by Saturday morning 3.  Everyone had legit reasons and lets face it, it's pretty hard to have that big of a group to all be available on the same date.  We're going to try again soon though.  My therapist would have been happy to hear I was getting out of the house with friends.

When the plans cancelled I made a list of places I needed to go.  I wasn't going to try that if the dinner was on but since it had been postponed I made my list and decided to walk before I bathed and took off.  As I started my walk I could feel my battery starting to move around and become uncomfortable.  I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do this or not.  After about 10 minutes into it I had to hold my hand and put pressure on it to continue walking.
I usually try to do 30 minutes but I struggled to get through.  I know for sure something has to be done.

When I came in I decided to try something different.  I've been wearing a pain patch every other day.  On the opposite day using aspercream, mineral ice, heating pad I could keep going.  My husband had me try some capsaicin a few years ago and I had a terrible reaction to it.  It burned my back like it was on fire and it literally had a huge red circle on my back where it was burning.  It took several hours to go away.  Stopped the pain all right, I couldn't feel anything else.  Well, I decided to try roll on aspercream.   No mess, easy to roll on.  The cream works good for a short time so figured the roll on would penetrate even better.  NOT..... Had the same exact reaction.  A big ball of stinging fire again.  It felt like the redness on my back was going to turn into blisters.   By the time I bathed, got ready and ran my errands I had to lie down until it was time to go eat.

You see, my husband jumped on the idea that if I had plans to go out that I should keep them,  just with my him instead of my friends.  He had crawfish a couple of times already this year but not me.  I'd been wanting some.  I couldn't say no since he was offering. So he decided to take me out for crawfish.  They were great!  Nice and spicy, just the way I like them.  If your lips aren't burning then they aren't hot enough.  Just about all the times I had crawfish last year they were pretty bland.  Not these, Yummy!

When we got home I was pretty uncomfortable after the long drive on Friday and a full day Saturday.  I took my pain medicine as soon as I got in and two hours later took 3/ 200 mg ibuprofen.  Several hours later it seemed worse instead of better.  I haven't had this intense pain in awhile.  By the time I went to bed I had to take more pain med.  When it gets out of hand like that it's so hard to get under control again.  

Today was no different.  I had a restless night.  Every time I turned over in the bed my battery hurt.  Placing pressure if I ended on that side.  I got up determined not to let it beat me.  I had plans to cook a huge batch of red beans. Some for me during week and some for my son and his kind friend who is letting him stay there while he gets on his feet again.  He's doing great by the way.  I'll update you on that next post.  

Tomorrow morning is my appointment with PM doctor to go over options for getting rid of this battery discomfort.  I kind of know what he will tell, me thanks to Mr. R, but I guess the doc will need an answer from me.  I'm going to have to see someone again soon for more reprogramming.  The two Mr. R added are just not cutting it.  I told my husband I think I will give Lovely a try again.  Sometime you just need a different way of trying to reprogram to be successful.  

We opened our pool today which made me think more negative about fixing my battery issue.  Just when it will be warm enough to get in I'll be healing and have to stay out for 2-3 weeks.  I know.....complain complain.  It's just getting so old.  I have to vent sometime.  I'd just like to get up one day and feel normal.  

  closed/opened

pic of extra fencing

Our neighbor mentioned to the treasurer of the HOA who happens to live on the other side of her that she felt like our deck being midway up the fence was an invasion of her privacy.  She likes to go outside in her nightgown through out the day to smoke or take her dog out.   We really didn't have a problem with it because it made us uncomfortable when we were up there able to see over the fence into her yard anyhow.  I actually tried to avoid it.   After some time the boards will all be the same color anyway.  

Some different views.  Took the temperature and it was 60 degrees.  We took a sample to the pool place and they said we're good to go.  Pumps running again and hopeful after a couple weeks of sunshine on the water all day it will warm enough to get in.  I can't wait.  Feels so good and relaxing for my back. 

D is back at making the beer.  His first batch was a big hit so he's making some more.  Every one that he gave a bottle to said they really enjoyed it.  I think I was the only person who didn't try it.  My daughter is like me, having no taste for beer but thought if she was going to drink some it may be the one she'd try.   She said it was not bad.

God Bless everyone and hug those babies!

Staying strong....Theresa

I mentioned in last post I'd like to share with you one of the two poems the daughter in law  wrote for my cancer fighting friend.  Jeannie's youngest son is a pilot and so is his wife.  To make some sense you also need to know they like to hunt and Jeannie and Ed lost a daughter (Maggie years back) Jeannie was diagnosed on Oct 1, 2010.

The Way to Go

October first took a turn for the worst.

One of those days you would like to curse.

They went to visit her at the grave.

Flowers were brought and then they were laid.

Seventeen years have gone past, 

since they laid her there, down to rest.

It's opening day so I'm on the stand,

waiting to hear the results from the scan.

He called to tell me the news of his mother. 

It was about what they had discovered.

Hearing the painful sound of the word. 

We all asked if it could be cured.

The answer was no, not now, nor ever, 

unless its the plans of our greatest creator.

They said that she's barely alive.

It's already at stage five.

So we loaded our things and packed up clothes. 

We both knew where we wanted to go.

It was just some pains like she had before, 

but it took her to the doctors door.

You should be dead are the words he said. 

Your liver, your colon, is where it's spread.

Just two years ran through our ears,

that's the time she has left here.

Her chemo started while turning fifty-three, 

all we could do is pray from our knees.

So once a week she took the beaten, 

waiting to hear that it has weakened.

Up and down the results came through, 

but here we were now the end of year two.

We watched her with all of her might. 

She worked really hard to conquer the fight.

Here we are now almost six months past, 

wishing that time didn't travel so fast.

We've all had a chance to say goodbye,

to make it easier for us when she closes her eyes.

Ashlie N. Martin 3/29/2013