I MADE IT!

After what seemed a life time ( reality..2months) I'm finally free of pain medication running my life.  It's true, it did.  Everything I did was planned around when or how long ago I'd taken my pain medication.  It was never questionable.  If it had worn off, and wasn't time for my next one, I couldn't do it.   I don't regret having to take it as long as I did but I do regret that my doctor didn't encourage me sooner to see what would happen if I stopped taking it.

My rheumatologist had mentioned in the past when I would complain about the various FM drugs I've tried not working that it could be the narcotic blocking it.  No pressure, just information.  You never could have convinced me that I could function without it.  

Wednesday will be one week completely free from a pill doing me more harm than good.  I think each two week step down was just as, if not harder than,  the first 3 days of being totally off.   

Wednesday:  I awake thinking OMG how am I going to get through this day?  Nothing for relief.  I AM NOT a bed person.  How in the world will I manage?  No NSAIDS allowed.

Text message from my husband: How u doin?
Me: Brave of you to ask.....then a list of complaints 
Him: no, your brave!

 My first accomplishment was to take a walk, which I done 43 out of the 58 days I've been on this journey.  During the summer I was swimming and walking in the pool for exercise.  Don't get me wrong,  this is excellent exercise.  Everyday that I was in there I was praising God we were fortune enough to work out a way to have a pool for me to exercise in.  All of my doctors have said, "KEEP MOVING".  Walking was a different story.  I had slowly worked up to walking short distances after my first stimulator surgery.   Several months later I was walking a little over a mile and increased to a good pace for me.  After I had the revision surgery a year later as soon as the doctor gave me the ok I got back to it once
more.  This time I couldn't keep with it.  I couldn't walk through the pain.   I stuck to swimming, walking, PT stretchs in the pool and riding my recumbent bike for exercise.  

A week before I started the tapering I made up my mind that I was going to walk it out no matter what.  10 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever I could do was better than staying inside and fighting this battle with no other help.  Once I made up my mind I was able to do it.  I had to do it right away or I'd let the pain take over my mind and win.  After the walk I did a 25 minute stretch routine that consisted of all the back and core strengthening exercises that my physical therapist taught me.  It took and is still taking commitment to get it done. If I had an appointment I got up early enough to do beforehand.  I knew that if I could get my back a little stronger would help me in the end of this process. 

Thursday:  Each day will be a little better.  Not day 2 though...it was worse than day one. 
During the time of day that I usually took my pain medicine my body was screaming at me. My back hurt so bad.  I just couldn't imagine how this was going to work.  I reminded my self I trust my doctor.  Why would he just torture me for nothing.

Text message from my daughter: How r u?
Me: A bunch of nonsense about how it has to get better than this : < (   A comment my PM doctor said to me on Monday when I saw him. ( you'll find after about 2 months your pain will level off to a lower degree and mostly stay the same.  90% of people find they feel so much better in the end)  I go on with my nonsense to text, " he obviously forgot I live in the 10%". 
Her: Well you've had victory with every other med step you've taken so we'll believe you will here too!! Take it easy.

doing a lot of soaks with this

It's that kind of support that helped me through some though days.  There are very few people who understand what I've been through I have many who care.  Even some of my readers have checked on me.  Thank you, it means the world to me to know you understand and support me.  

Unfortunately when Friday rolled around I had an added discomfort jump on board.  It started as a flaming throat and nose.  At first I just thought it was allergy but by Sunday it involved my ears and chest.  I feel like an moose is sitting on my chest.  I'm hanging in there since I have a doctor appointment Wednesday anyway.   Of course my old friend "the hives" have been lurking around just to make thinks a little more uncomfortable.  A few days I didn't have any but most days I had at least one and at most four.

I hate these buggers :-(

They'll never leave me!

I've been out very little ( besides my walk ) A trip to the fruit stand, very close to my house.  Saturday evening went to eat at some friends house and watch the LSU-BAMA game.  I really wanted to get out of the house and knew my friend would keep me laughing which would be so good for me.  I was right about that too.  I was happy to see my husband getting to watch the game with friends.  We used to always do something for the game but this season we've been right here.  Today I tackled getting gas and going inside Wally World for a few things.   I can tell you I've spent quite a bit of time soaking in the tub but it really helps.  

In conclusion I feel like when this allergy/sinus issue is better I can really tell how I'm feeling.  I feel like my back is getting stronger and when it does start to hurt from activity it's a totally different pain.  There is a constant "soreness" more than "pain" from the start of day that turns into a medium grade pain.  When I'm over this I can't wait to see how I really feel.  I'm quite surprised at how my back felt today and praying it continues and is real.  I guess what I mean is sometime when something else is hurting you can put your chronic pain at the bottom.  I'm not saying this a good situation but just how it can be.  I plan to update you in a couple of weeks to let you know how I feeling.  For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to each coming day.  

Live in Peace not in pieces

Iylana Vanzant

My big princess

P on his 5th birthday

My little princess

A new plan

As I mentioned in my previous post I've made some decisions regarding my medications.  At my last visit with my rheumatologist he discussed a medicine with me that has new studies out to help with FM pain.  He asked me to go home and research and for some time I forgot about it.  When I did look it up I was disappointed in what I found because the drug seemed to be used for patients detoxing from high doses of narcotics.  At first I was kind of upset thinking he had the wrong idea about the amount of pain medication I take.  At one visit I remember him telling me that some time your pain medication can actually cause your pain to elevate if it is blocking another medication your taking.  Then it dawned on me that he said to make sure and research the medication along with FM pain.  Not just the drug name alone.

After researching this way I felt better about what I found and read.  There were several studies and some patient reviews also.  I can tell you I'm shocked at my own self for even trying this after trying 3 different drugs for FM treatment.  Then some years later trying the Lyrica again.  This was the second time I'd heard this information from  Dr. C and he is my favorite doctor of all of them and I don't think he'd recommend the drug if he didn't think I'd get some results from it, even if small.  The draw back is you cannot take it if you are taking a narcotic.  Which means I have to get off of my pain medication before I can even try it.  Just thinking about trying scared me to  death.  Everything I do revolves around my pain medication.  What time I go somewhere, when I try and exercise, when I do any house work.  I could go on and on.

Right about the time I was considering this option it was time for my 3 month check with my PM doctor.  I talked to him about it and he was pretty positive about the medication too.  I started to have a little hope.  We discussed what was involved and how long it would take.  He said if I wanted to do it the best way with the least withdrawals it would take about 2 months.  He said towards the end my pain would definitely increase for a period of time then it would level off.   A lot of patients who have taken a pain medication for a long period of time and get off find that if they make it through getting off they find their pain is not any worse than with it.  

So why would I do this then?  For a long period of time I've hated that I have to take pain medication to get through my day.  I hate the stigma that comes along with it.  I hate how long I've been on it.  I hate the side effects and the harm it's doing to my body long term.

My stimulator allowed me to cut back, but it doesn't work well enough alone.  I can't say "it won't hurt to try" because if you've ever had to come off of a medicine you need to taper off of (not just a narcotic) you know how sick it can make you.  If this other medication works for the FM then maybe, just maybe things will even out.  I'm ok with not being any worse.  Of course if it's Gods will that I get "real" relief then hooray.  If not, I'm thankful to not feel worse for stopping the pain medications.  

Back to our conversation....he asked me when I wanted to try and I told him that I'd like to get through the holidays then get started.   After a few weeks passed and my husband and I talked about it more I decided I was ready to get started.  Why wait?  Maybe I could be done and better by Christmas.  So I made the call last Thursday morning.  I had an attitude going into it because I'm always complaining about the staff at that office.  I really like my PM doctor but it is so hard to deal with his staff.  Once I get to the back and I'm with him it's all good.  I've threatened so many times to go somewhere else but it's just not that easy with my stimulator.  

The nurse called me back about 3 that afternoon.  I told her in detail what I wanted her to discuss with him for me.  I told her if she had any questions it should be in my notes from my last visit because we talked about it.  It was Thursday and he wouldn't be there Friday.  She told me not to expect a call until Monday or Tuesday.  So until Tuesday afternoon I was patient.  After that, I was annoyed.  So typical of this office.  I called Wednesday am and left a message in case they weren't aware it was approaching a week I'd first asked for a return call.  By 3 pm no call.  I called back and talked to the front office.  This lady was certainly honest.  She told me they get a complaint every day regarding this matter.  I asked her to leave my message personally to the doctor.  She also said she would inform the office manager of what happened. 

Today, still no call by 9 this morning.  I decided to reach outside the office for help.   It was a long shot, but I didn't care anymore this an important decision I'd made regarding my health and I felt like my doctor didn't care about ME at all.  I text Mr. R and asked him if he happened to be working with my doctor that day.  He called me an hour later and said he'd been in surgery all morning but not with my doctor.  Mr. R told me he had no problem texting my PM doctors nurse and mention that he was setting up an appointment with me for reprogramming (this was true) and I mentioned the issue going on with them getting back with me.  15 minutes later I received a call from the nurse.  "what can I help you with Ms. Theresa?", she asked me.  Are you really serious?  I left a detailed message with your co-worker (his other nurse) and a detailed message on your machine.  She said the other nurse was working at another office this week and she really didn't know what I needed.  As far as the message I left yesterday she looked in my chart and didn't see any notes about what I left the message about.  I started crying and the next thing I knew my doctor was on the phone with me.  My tears were real, but I'm here to tell you sometimes a few tears goes a long way.  Don't be afraid to cry :-)

I did have to jog his memory and he remembered our discussion.  We talked for about 15 minutes and he reminded me this wouldn't be easy either way I did it.  He said my dose was low enough I could just quit cold turkey but I'd be down and out sick for 2 weeks.  His exact words were "you'll feel like your dying" and I believe him.  Or...we stretch it out slowly over 6 weeks.  Same results but a lower levels each day.  I will be completely off in 2 months.  I'll be dealing with some intense pain he said but it should level off in a month or so to where I was when we started.  As soon as I'm completely off I can start taking the new medication.  I'm really anxious about this entire process.  Who can put there life on hold?

I plan to try and keep you informed on how it's going.  I hope to get through this without to much discomfort so I will feel like getting on my lap top and catching up.  You wouldn't believe the emails I need to check.  In October I have an appointment with Dr. C so I can get some encouragement from him if I need it.  He's going to be glad to hear I've made the choice to at least give the medication a try.  

Wish me well and thanks for listening.  I know some of my readers understand exactly where I am and what my experience will be like.  
Living with HOPE (hold on pain ends)
Theresa

Time for a Change

In past years I've been very successful with following the WW's plan.  I've always met my goal weight and kept it off for a good period of time.  Things like medications and pain restricting my exercise for periods of time let me slowly gain it back.   My latest issue has been a medication I was taking for the fibromyalgia.  I've been off since the beginning of April but I'm in a rut.  I'm stuck on weight I started at back when I started WW's in the fall.  I was 2 pounds from my goal weight when I started the medication and slowly climbed up to where I started and stayed there every since.

I've taken into a lot of factors.  I've increased the dosage of my antidepressant from 20 to 40 ( under advise of my psychologist ).  She said the increase could also be effecting my weight.  I'm also aware that the older you get the harder it becomes to loose weight.  It's always been pretty easy for me.  I have a lot of will power so sticking to the plan has been easy.  So imagine being super strict and you get NO results.  

One thing I'm really thrilled about is I've been back in the pool now for two weeks.  The water temp has been awesome.  I've started slow with walking first.  This week I did some water jogging.  Increasing time a little each day.  It's just unbelievable how my back pain just disappears when I step into the pool.  With that in mind I have to really be careful.  I did a lot of stretching the first day and I was so so sore the following day.   

Speaking of stretching, the bursitis in my shoulder has greatly improved since I've been getting in the pool.  It's really hard to do the PT stretches they asked of me.  I'm a very compliant patient because I want to be better.  However, sometime it's just so painful I cheat and cut the reps or time I spend.  In the pool I've been able to do it mostly pain free.

Back to my title "time for a change".  What am I planning?  I've been doing a lot of research on becoming gluten free.  One of the things that attracts me to the idea more than weight loss it is really supposed to help with inflammation.  I've tried so many things to help with that.  Inflammation is one of my biggest culprits.  In my research I read you loose weight also.  If that happens, great.  My biggest hope it that I will just feel better.  I'll take 50% better.  The fibromyalgia has really had me beat.  

Here is my plan...I have a book I plan to pick up and hopefully read before the end of month.  ( saw on Dr. Oz )  Continue to research what I can and can't have.  I want to slowly start buying the things I need a little at a time.   My WW's plan ends at the end of the month and I hopefully will be ready to get started on a Gluten Free diet.  I figure even if it doesn't work for my pain maybe I will loose a few pounds.  If I don't loose any weight but start to feel better that would be the BEST outcome.   

I have a friend who is gluten free that I spent some time with this past week end and she was in a car accident a while back.  Days later she started having a lot of neck pain.  After getting checked out at the doctor she discovered she had to bulging discs in her neck.  A period of time when by when she couldn't get the pain level down with PT and home care and they put her on pain medication.  She is a health nut so that didn't go over well.  Even though she was hurting bad enough to take it she told me there was not way she was just going to continue to take it and mask the pain.  Like me, she could tell she had a lot of inflammation in the area.  That's how she got started.  Within a couple of weeks she didn't need the pain medicine at all and she's feeling so much better overall.  

I'll share with you two things I've started doing as a "pre prep" to start some healthy habits.

1)Some time back I mentioned my new obsession with coconut oil.  I've been using in cooking, popping homemade popcorn and baking.  I knew about benefits of using as a replacement for other fats and  a lot of uses for it.  What I'd never looked at was the benefits of ingesting coconut oil.  There are plenty I could tell you about but if your interested just goggle.  It's all there.  

I mentioned to my friend and she said she put in her coffee every morning.  That was one of the ways I read about.  I gave it a try and I loved it.  There is an adjustment for a few cups because you can SEE the oil.  I loved it though because it made my lips so moisturized.  I usually put powder creamer in my coffee but read it helps to use milk ( I don't like anything cold in my coffee) and it helps make it creamer.  The second cup I used a little almond milk in place of the creamer.  I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk so it didn't add any sweetness to the coffee.  It's a new and exciting thing at breakfast!  

2)She also told me about the benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar.  Another that there are plenty of....but like the coconut oil ingestion google it.  I dont' mind sharing but don't want to keep this post going on and on.  The main one I tried is for detox.  As part of balancing the body's PH apple cider vinegar creates an overall detoxification of the body.  Research shows that it can help stimulate cardiovascular circulation and help detoxify the liver.  

Another that caught my eye the aid in weight loss.  For daily weight management add 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar to 16 oz of water.   You can sip throughout the day or just drink all at once.  I added juice from half a lemon to cut down on the acidic taste.  With that added it tasted like lemon water with a taste of apple.  Enjoyable and good for you.  I drink two glasses of lemon water a day anyway so it wasn't like I really had to make a big change with this one.  

I'm hoping trying gluten free may help my hives go away.  I must say it's been the best year ever for the reduction of appearances.  Unfortunately, they've still been around.  Especially on days when my pain level is up or I'm having some really bad break though pain.  The week after returning from the cruise was the worst flare up I'd had all year.  In reading the benefits of the Apple Cider Vinegar it didn't mention hives ( at least on the sties I viewed )
but it did talk about the benefits if you have allergies.  I'm always hopeful.

I could use to see Mr. R for an adjustment but I have several programs that I'm really pleased with.  I seldom turn it off anymore.  When I go to bed I just turn it down really low.  In the first year I'd try that but it would wake me up when it would come on and off.  I think because it's in a better place now it's more comforting than disturbing.  I'm having to charge my battery every couple of weeks.  A huge difference from the first year to year and a half.

I have a follower who recently had a SCS implanted.  I started following her blog and I hear myself in her writing in the beginning months after surgery.  ( She's a better writer and much more positive)  I'd just like to say to her not to be to discouraged in the first year.  I'm sure your doctors have told you but the longer you heal the less movement you get in the stimulation.  It also means you have to have less frequent adjustments.  Both of my scars are still tender to some degree.  The area in my spine where the paddle leads are placed always stays somewhat sore.  There is a little "connecter so to speak" that sends the leads out to the IPG (battery) and it's like a bump or knot in the lower back area of my spine.  Some days if I lean against something hard it reminds me it's there.  

As far as my battery site I've excepted it is what it is.  The revision surgery we did a year ago helped so much.  A smaller battery and going deeper helped it to not protrude so much so it's less sensitive.  I still need a cushion everywhere I go but I'll take that any day over a wheel chair.  I remain certain I made the right decision in having a Spinal Cord Stimulator placed.   My pain is still there but the stimulator does help relieve it and help me from taking the amount of pain medication I once needed.  

Dallas is doing amazing.  He had a successful surgery.  They completely removed the tumor and stalk that was attached to it.  There were three arteries coming from the stalk.  She cut and tied all off.  That is where all the bleeding was coming from.  This past Monday he had his stitches removed and seems almost fully healed.  He came a long way from having 3 months to live to a surprising recovery.  The lab results showed the tumor to be something called Eosinophilic cystitis.  Very rare but the few number of cases they've seen has been with dogs that previously had a bladder stone.  Yeah, we're so happy he'll be around some time longer.  

If you have any advice or tips for me on my plan to move gluten free, I welcome it.  I'm pretty nervous about being prepared.  Not about "what will I eat" but will "I have what I need?".  I've found a great web site to refer to and my gluten free friend has told me of several sites that will be helpful to me.  Wish me luck.  As with this and my daily struggle of coping with chronic pain I have H.O.P.E.

Happy Mothers day !!

Gentle Hugs, Theresa

My son and A

Poppa & Nonna at AJ's dedication day

The whole gang

Taking baby steps forward

Hum...where do I start?  This past week has been tough but in the end we're seeing some light barely peeping in to the tunnel.  My daughter and I left St. Claire's Sunday night feeling like my son was getting the help he needed and happy to know it seemed the next day he'd likely be able to participate in therapy and talk to the kind of professionals he's needed to for some time now. Then the call came Monday to my daughter that the doctor said we needed a family meeting.  I'd been warned that when that happens they will be releasing the patient soon. We were quite shocked having seen him the shape he was in the night before.  The plan was for me to visit that evening during visitation and B to go Tuesday evening.  We decided to switch so she would go for the family meeting.  My son request for her to be the family member there.

We didn't quite know what to expect.  While we wrapped the though around our brain and what it might entail she gets another call.  Meeting canceled.  The doctor had been around again and said he could dismissed.  Someone needs to come get him they told us.  My daughter franticly started making calls and we both were searching for the "right" place for him to go.  It was so obvious he couldn't be alone.  He so far from recovery we couldn't imagine them letting him leave.   I will say the SW who worked with him that day was kind enough to talk to my daughter several times on the phone with suggestions and letting her know of options for him to go.  Meanwhile I headed toward the clinic because I had the key to his car.  All the way there I kept thinking, is he stable enough to drive?  What in the heck are we going to do. 

When I got there I asked to talk to his doctor or the SW in private before taking my son outside to his car.  The doctor was no longer there so the SW came out and talked to me in a private room.   Everything I asked I was told, "I can't really answer that"  Besides him being an adult there is that lovely HIPPA law that sometimes can a pain in the butt.  My son had only listed my daughter to release any medical information to so the SW wasn't talking.  As I asked my questions he just kept backing his way out the door to go and get him.  

It was just heart wrenching to see him come through those locked doors with his plastic bag of personal items and the nurse following.  She told me they had set up an interview at a shelter for him but it wasn't until 8 that evening and it was only 5 pm.  She stressed he shouldn't be alone and didn't want him riding around in his car.  She actually looked him in the eye and said that to him.  "Right Brad, not good for you to be out on the street until your better?" We got a nod.  When we got in my car he told me he liked his nurse she'd been nice to him and he really liked his SW.  (interesting, because I didn't)  I saw tears streaming down and asked him what was wrong and he said I was just really getting some help today.  My first time to be able to get out of bed and participate in any group therapies or discussions with a SW.  That made me cry because at that moment I knew he really wanted to get better.

To kill time my daughter and grandson came to meet us to have dinner.  I went home after an hour to let them have some personal time to talk and she wanted to get him a few things at the store.  Later that night we were on pins and needles to see how the interview went because if they accepted him he'd be allowed to stay that night.  He'd promised B he'd let her know if he had a place to stay or not.  Without saying to much, because I know his SW worked very hard to get him in this place.  He's probably never seen it but helps people all the time find someplace to go other than the street.  The result was what we feared.  He was in his car and called my daughter and told her no way he could stay there.  He felt safer in his car.  There was a broken window in the room he'd stay in, it wasn't very clean and there is not other way to say it but that he knew he'd never be able to sleep there.  One of the problems the past month has been lack of sleep.  There are so many things he is paranoid about and his anxiety level off the charts.

My daughter had a back up plan but had saved it for 2nd solution because she'd discussed with his SW and he thought best for him to try this first because he'd be with other people in his current situation and he'd see that they were better and had gotten through it and taking steps forward to get out on their own again.  Out the window with that.  So, plan B was put into action.  She allowed him to stay at her home because she was off the next day and would want to go over all the stipulations and rules for this plan B.  She spent her entire day off making calls and getting a plan of action started for him.  He had a phone screening at a Mental Health clinic in her parish and an appointment for the next day @ 8.  B sent me a long text with some updates and ended with "Wish I didn't worry 24/7.  I know how you must've felt the last several months/year.


That Tuesday night was his first night to stay where he'd be for the next month or possibly longer depending on how it would work out.  He made it to his appointment and called to fill my daughter in on how it went.   You just have know idea what an accomplishment for him this step was.  Even the SW agreed.  Baby steps forward.  He told us even though he was put on the priority list the first available appointment is April 2nd.  He was really bummed because he's really ready to feel better and get back to work.   Unfortunately since that time things have been pretty rough.  At the clinic they were giving him anxiety medication and pain injections to help with the withdrawals and apparently when he left there was still some in his system.  On Wednesday things went way down hill.  He couldn't get out of bed to eat or anything else.  Thursday I saw him for us to exchange some things we each had that the other needed.  He looked awful.  I didn't even understand how he drive himself there.  He looked like he'd just climbed out of a grave.  No energy at all and body aches everywhere.  We were around the corner from a smoothie king so I gave him some money to go and get one with some good stuff in it to help boost his energy.  

B informed me that the person he was staying with would be out of town starting on Friday until Sunday and the SW had stressed how he should be around family as much as possible and not be alone.  His "support system" was crucial.  He stayed here last night.  From the moment he got here until 1 am I felt like a nurse.  Guys are such babies.  I know he's hurting....don't doubt that for a second.  Their just so pitiful about it.  I quit Ambien cold turkey two years ago and if you know anything benzodiazepines you know their a killer to get off of.  Any drug of that type causes terrible withdrawals.  Especially if you've taken a long time.  For me, two years.  I really felt like I was going to die the first couple of days and then I realized it could last for 10 days.  My doctor said that is how long before it's completely out of your system.  I couldn't believe my GP let me take something like that for that amount of time when it's supposed to be used on as "as needed" basis.  They definitely recommend not to use more than two or three nights in a row.  The drug my son was taking has the same dangers if taken to long.  I can't believe the doctor he went to continued to prescribe it for him an entire year.  It's no wonder he's having such a hard time detoxing. 

He's finally starting to get a little relief.  Out of the bed most of day.  Drinking a lot of fluids and I even got him to walk to the end of subdivision and back.  A lot of epson salt baths, ibuprofen and naproxen round the clock.  We keep reminding him every day will get a little easier until he's back to normal.  By that time his appointment at the clinic will be here.  I continue to pray that he keeps going forward and no steps backward.  

I picked up the phone several times today to make an appointment with my PM doctor.  I'm really annoyed that he's making me come back when I was just there 3 weeks ago.  I guess he thought we wouldn't discuss in detail a plan if I chose to wait it out and see if it gets better. 
When it's not bothering me I know I don't want to do anything.  Then it starts to hurt and I know it's not just going to fix itself or stop hurting.  I ended up not calling but it's inevitable.
I'll probably call Monday :-(   Mr. R wants to know when I go so he can be there.  I didn't say anything but I need to see him before then.  After the longest run ever with some good programs I had need reprogramming again.  The stimulation is coming around my waist and into the abdominal area again.

I forgot to start putting my Christmas cactus in the dark early enough in the fall.  No blooms at Christmas.  Low and behold D pointed out to me that there were two blooms on it.  Didn't think to take a picture until just one was still on.  Seems odd a Christmas cactus blooming in the spring.

A friend of mind monogrammed a beach hat and matching towel for me.  It was a complete surprise and just made my day.  My initials are on the hat and Nonna on the towel.  She was thinking of my upcoming beach trip.  It's so odd that last May the week before my surgery we went to the beach and I came home to facing another surgery.  I haven't decided what option I'd consider but something has to be done so it's like the same situation all over again. 

 

In a previous post I mentioned about driving to my hometown to meet with my mom and brother.  There was a part of the story I forgot to tell you about.  When we were leaving I grabbed my magnet so I wouldn't have to bring my stimulator I could just turn of  with a swipe of the magnet.  For whatever reason I sat it down on the hood of the car.  How I didn't see when we got in the car I don't know but we didn't.  I couldn't quite make it to the exit we get off of to go to my brothers house between needing to stand up and to go to the restroom.  We got off and stopped at first gas station we came to and this time I see it.  Standing out like a big sore thumb.  It's an important part of my stimulator and can be replaced but lucky for me it's a heavy duty magnet.  So strong it made a car ride an hour and 20 minutes without moving.

Sorry this post was so long.  I didn't intend for it to be but sometime my blogging turns into venting.  Sometime it's sadness, sometime anger, this time it's about finally seeing some hope for my son.  I pray it continues on.  

Blessed to have all the support and prayers coming in.  I've received a lot of emails but I haven't replied to any.  I'm sorry, it's nothing personal I just have to get in the mood to talk about it then I take off.   One of the reasons I started the blog in the first place when I had the stimulator implanted so I could just update once.  I never dreamed I meet so many wonderful people and make new friends through a blog.  Donna....I am so excited about your upcoming trip.  I'm praying for you a painless flight and a lot of relief from that pool.  Hope to get back to you before you leave.

God Bless to everyone

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 17:22