We didn't quite know what to expect. While we wrapped the though around our brain and what it might entail she gets another call. Meeting canceled. The doctor had been around again and said he could dismissed. Someone needs to come get him they told us. My daughter franticly started making calls and we both were searching for the "right" place for him to go. It was so obvious he couldn't be alone. He so far from recovery we couldn't imagine them letting him leave. I will say the SW who worked with him that day was kind enough to talk to my daughter several times on the phone with suggestions and letting her know of options for him to go. Meanwhile I headed toward the clinic because I had the key to his car. All the way there I kept thinking, is he stable enough to drive? What in the heck are we going to do.
When I got there I asked to talk to his doctor or the SW in private before taking my son outside to his car. The doctor was no longer there so the SW came out and talked to me in a private room. Everything I asked I was told, "I can't really answer that" Besides him being an adult there is that lovely HIPPA law that sometimes can a pain in the butt. My son had only listed my daughter to release any medical information to so the SW wasn't talking. As I asked my questions he just kept backing his way out the door to go and get him.
It was just heart wrenching to see him come through those locked doors with his plastic bag of personal items and the nurse following. She told me they had set up an interview at a shelter for him but it wasn't until 8 that evening and it was only 5 pm. She stressed he shouldn't be alone and didn't want him riding around in his car. She actually looked him in the eye and said that to him. "Right Brad, not good for you to be out on the street until your better?" We got a nod. When we got in my car he told me he liked his nurse she'd been nice to him and he really liked his SW. (interesting, because I didn't) I saw tears streaming down and asked him what was wrong and he said I was just really getting some help today. My first time to be able to get out of bed and participate in any group therapies or discussions with a SW. That made me cry because at that moment I knew he really wanted to get better.
To kill time my daughter and grandson came to meet us to have dinner. I went home after an hour to let them have some personal time to talk and she wanted to get him a few things at the store. Later that night we were on pins and needles to see how the interview went because if they accepted him he'd be allowed to stay that night. He'd promised B he'd let her know if he had a place to stay or not. Without saying to much, because I know his SW worked very hard to get him in this place. He's probably never seen it but helps people all the time find someplace to go other than the street. The result was what we feared. He was in his car and called my daughter and told her no way he could stay there. He felt safer in his car. There was a broken window in the room he'd stay in, it wasn't very clean and there is not other way to say it but that he knew he'd never be able to sleep there. One of the problems the past month has been lack of sleep. There are so many things he is paranoid about and his anxiety level off the charts.
My daughter had a back up plan but had saved it for 2nd solution because she'd discussed with his SW and he thought best for him to try this first because he'd be with other people in his current situation and he'd see that they were better and had gotten through it and taking steps forward to get out on their own again. Out the window with that. So, plan B was put into action. She allowed him to stay at her home because she was off the next day and would want to go over all the stipulations and rules for this plan B. She spent her entire day off making calls and getting a plan of action started for him. He had a phone screening at a Mental Health clinic in her parish and an appointment for the next day @ 8. B sent me a long text with some updates and ended with "Wish I didn't worry 24/7. I know how you must've felt the last several months/year.
That Tuesday night was his first night to stay where he'd be for the next month or possibly longer depending on how it would work out. He made it to his appointment and called to fill my daughter in on how it went. You just have know idea what an accomplishment for him this step was. Even the SW agreed. Baby steps forward. He told us even though he was put on the priority list the first available appointment is April 2nd. He was really bummed because he's really ready to feel better and get back to work. Unfortunately since that time things have been pretty rough. At the clinic they were giving him anxiety medication and pain injections to help with the withdrawals and apparently when he left there was still some in his system. On Wednesday things went way down hill. He couldn't get out of bed to eat or anything else. Thursday I saw him for us to exchange some things we each had that the other needed. He looked awful. I didn't even understand how he drive himself there. He looked like he'd just climbed out of a grave. No energy at all and body aches everywhere. We were around the corner from a smoothie king so I gave him some money to go and get one with some good stuff in it to help boost his energy.
B informed me that the person he was staying with would be out of town starting on Friday until Sunday and the SW had stressed how he should be around family as much as possible and not be alone. His "support system" was crucial. He stayed here last night. From the moment he got here until 1 am I felt like a nurse. Guys are such babies. I know he's hurting....don't doubt that for a second. Their just so pitiful about it. I quit Ambien cold turkey two years ago and if you know anything benzodiazepines you know their a killer to get off of. Any drug of that type causes terrible withdrawals. Especially if you've taken a long time. For me, two years. I really felt like I was going to die the first couple of days and then I realized it could last for 10 days. My doctor said that is how long before it's completely out of your system. I couldn't believe my GP let me take something like that for that amount of time when it's supposed to be used on as "as needed" basis. They definitely recommend not to use more than two or three nights in a row. The drug my son was taking has the same dangers if taken to long. I can't believe the doctor he went to continued to prescribe it for him an entire year. It's no wonder he's having such a hard time detoxing.
He's finally starting to get a little relief. Out of the bed most of day. Drinking a lot of fluids and I even got him to walk to the end of subdivision and back. A lot of epson salt baths, ibuprofen and naproxen round the clock. We keep reminding him every day will get a little easier until he's back to normal. By that time his appointment at the clinic will be here. I continue to pray that he keeps going forward and no steps backward.
I picked up the phone several times today to make an appointment with my PM doctor. I'm really annoyed that he's making me come back when I was just there 3 weeks ago. I guess he thought we wouldn't discuss in detail a plan if I chose to wait it out and see if it gets better.
When it's not bothering me I know I don't want to do anything. Then it starts to hurt and I know it's not just going to fix itself or stop hurting. I ended up not calling but it's inevitable.
I'll probably call Monday :-( Mr. R wants to know when I go so he can be there. I didn't say anything but I need to see him before then. After the longest run ever with some good programs I had need reprogramming again. The stimulation is coming around my waist and into the abdominal area again.
I forgot to start putting my Christmas cactus in the dark early enough in the fall. No blooms at Christmas. Low and behold D pointed out to me that there were two blooms on it. Didn't think to take a picture until just one was still on. Seems odd a Christmas cactus blooming in the spring.
Blessed to have all the support and prayers coming in. I've received a lot of emails but I haven't replied to any. I'm sorry, it's nothing personal I just have to get in the mood to talk about it then I take off. One of the reasons I started the blog in the first place when I had the stimulator implanted so I could just update once. I never dreamed I meet so many wonderful people and make new friends through a blog. Donna....I am so excited about your upcoming trip. I'm praying for you a painless flight and a lot of relief from that pool. Hope to get back to you before you leave.
God Bless to everyone
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22
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