Worn

I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn


My prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside can be reborn

‘Cause I'm worn

Yes, all that's dead inside will be reborn

Though, I'm worn

I'm worn...

Tenth Avenue North

This song moves me so.  It's more like a prayer than a song.  Music is to me what meditation is to others. 

There are so many areas in my life that I'm struggling with right now.  These are supposed to be the "golden years"  Our kids are grown.  Parents retired and should be enjoying life now at this point in their journey.  It's just not happening that way right now.  I believe things will turn around.  The hard part is waiting.  Letting Gods will be done.

A fellow chronic pain suffer and implant patient said to me, "if your feet hit the floor this morning it can't be all bad"  I know she's right.  I had another dear friend tell me the exact same thing.  I also know that you don't have to look far or hard to find someone worse off than yourself.  

Not a lot of news to tell.  I've been in touch with Mr. R to follow up about the "issues" with my battery because him nor the doctor have given me answers.  I text him Friday morning and asked why I haven't heard anything and he said he had a procedure that afternoon with the doc and he'd get back with me.  Nothing yet, but hopeful tomorrow. 

Sleeping has been pretty uncomfortable.  In the beginning lying on either side has been most comfortable for sleeping.  Now I'm down to one side. (right)  If I lay on my left side I feel the same pressure on the battery site.  It makes it poke and causes pressure because it moves around.  Definitely uncomfortable on my back which is how I'd always slept pre surgery. 

For now, I'm taking a day at a time and making the best of it. The thought of having to be cut again depresses me because the last 5 years nothing regarding treatment for my back has been successful.

My husband and I made the trip to my hometown to meet with my brother, sister n law and my mom.  A family pow wow so to speak.  We've all had so much going on in each of our lives that we needed to sit down with my mom and make sure she was ok.  She's been through more than anyone can imagine and you'd never have guessed.  She is tough as nails.  I regret calling and dumping on her so much the past few years.  She never would have burdened anyone else with her problems.  

It was a good family meeting and we all know what each other is dealing with and my mom is willing to let us help her "some" now.  My only regret is that I'm so far away.  Some time I can drive there and back and it's not so bad.  Sometime it can be awful and the flare up carry on for days.  That was this trip.  I didn't due much of anything today but take a walk and a little laundry.  

St. Patrick's Day is coming up.  We have a nice family parade here in Baton Rouge. My husband and I have been going to the same place since 2001.  Parade passes right in front of the family home. Praying it's a good "back" day on Saturday.  Also for nice weather.

Glad to see the Apprentice back on.  I watched the first time last season then I was hooked.  I've also been on a Law and Order SVU kick.  I had never watched until a couple of months ago. Now I DVR ever chance I get.  The reruns are always on.  I've watched enough that I had to start writing down the ones I've seen watched to keep from recording one I've seen.  I had no idea how long it had been on the air. 

If one of my readers with a stimulator would let me know if you've experienced anything like dealing with.(battery movement) I'd love to hear from you.  Maybe this is the norm, but even my doctor agreed things are not right with the battery right now.  I'm just wondering if I do anything to try and fix it if it may just end up feeling exactly the same.

Thank you Shauna for your kind, healing words.  Hearing from my readers means more than you'll know.  My continued prayers for you and others like us.

Take care everyone and have a wonderful week.
Fighting on.....Theresa

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despir. So let us be loving, hopeful and Optimistic. And We’ll Change the World.
-Jack Layton