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| St. Patrick's Day. |
Maybe it's the irish in me.
I struggled for the 24 hours before the parade Saturday to go or not. We rarely miss. 2 years ago we did and that was the first time in many years. I was so physically and mentally exhausted. Had I know what I do now, two weeks ago my post title would have been "the worst week to come". Because I thought last two weeks was bad and couldn't be any worse but then this one dragged along.
I knew the day was coming. Every morning I prayed to God that if this was the day please give me the right words to say to be helpful, useful and not just make matters worse. Things were not working out at all for my son at his dad's house. For his privacy and because it's such a personal matter I'll just say it was less emotionally stable there than being in his car. On Monday he made a call after having his Dad bring him into town hoping my brother or my mom would come to pick him up. (without asking first) I can promise you he was totally serious about walking home, he would have done it.
My mom spent most of day with him mostly just letting him relax and sleep while she did her thing in the truck.. It was pretty warm that day so I could imagine how warm it must be have been just staying in the truck letting him rest some. He stated he hadn't slept but only once during his time with his dad. At the end of the day my mom brought him to stay over with my brother and sister n law. 2 nights and the second was not pleasant by any means. The strange thing was that Monday morning I text my daughter and said something had him on my mind more than usual durning the night and I came over whelmed with this fear she or myself would hear form him on this day.
A couple of hours latter I heard from my sister n law. She seemed to be very concerned for him and recommended he be evaluated asap because what ever was causing him to be seeing what he was seeing, feeling and not sleeping was keeping their household awake too. I knew it, I'd already witnessed myself myself. Then came the decision of who would go and get him. My daughter and I brainstormed all day searching for some kind of help for him. No mental health centers in the state of LA are left open. I did find one place that seemed interesting but needed more resources.
My daughter stepped up to go get him. This time would be different. She had the hard task of breaking it to him in order to bring him home he had to be willing to seek treatment. I think it took a lot of encouragement from both sister n law, brother and my mom. B had prepared herself that she couldn't be all sensitive to his needs. She had to talk to him like the adult that he is. She gave him two options and neither were fun what so ever.
She brought him home with her and let him sleep at their home under the agreement he'd go to my house bright and early to be brought to hospital for an evaluation. He agreed. She dropped him to me and we didn't wasted anytime getting out the door. We went to OLOL hospital ER. They took him right back, I 'm sure mainly to do with what I explained he was experiencing. After about 30 minutes a PA and SW came out to talk with me. Another 30 minutes went by then a different nurse came out and asked me a lot of questions also. The told me to go home it could be hours before the were finished their evaluation and need for admitting. Needless to say they called called 2.5 hours and said they were admitting him into the ER. I asked about seeing him and she said it would be sometime later because I wasn't allowed to have any conversations with him until the found a permanent bed to place him.
Without explaining it was one of the hardest things I've done in my life. There's more to tell but I'm falling a sleep. I want to share some of St. Patricks day excitement with you also. Tonight my daughter and I went to see my son for the first time. She had spoken with him by phone the day before and he seemed so very uncomfortable and not willing to talk much at all. Our visit tonight went well though. He seemed different, but we were happy to see him out of bed and talking some.
I'll go for the visitation tomorrow night and B back on Tuesday.
His car was fixed and we picked it up on the way home from the parade. I spent quite some time cleaning it out last evening then again some this morning. My body has been through more in last four days than past couple of months all together. Everything aches, especially my back and battery area from bending over so much. I have a busy week ahead too. A lot of papers to fill out for him and some research to do also.
I never in a million years believed this is how my son would end up. I've never even been inside of one of these centers. It was like I was in a fog on my way there and it was not my kid we were going to see. A very hard decision to have to step up and do for him to get better and stronger for himself and his daughter. I'm so glad it's over but on the same token scared to death as to what comes next. How will we survive? We will, I know it by the strength of God. But right now it's so hard to believe.
Thank you brother, mother, daughter and friend who talked me through this. Your love and support help me to know I'm doing the right thing. I hope no one you love or care for has to experience this. He has a very long road ahead and has many stops along the way. I'm so sorry if I have mistakes. I'm even to tired to proof read as I usually do.
I finally heard back from Mr. R. I was a bit annoyed that it had been a week and I was hurting so much it reminded me to follow up. I guess the tone of my text came across and he apologized for his crazy busy week last and to feel free to pester him when i don't get a quick response, but thats not me. He said after his discussion with my doctor they are looking at a possible revision, new batter site, smaller battery or wait it out to see if it gets better. I wanted so bad to say with all my stress build up , "yes, like my back?" I'm still waiting for it to get better:-(
I leave you with a sneak pic of a few pictures. Both of my grandkids say the silliest things sometime.
I was so joyful to have them both during a difficult day.
Hanging in there....Theresa
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