Before I get into my ongoing health ordeals I want to share with you my experience when my husband and I went to vote. According to the news we vote at one of the busiest polling stations. Woodlawn High School. When we set out to vote at 7am my first thought was we'd get stuck in a lot of school traffic getting in and out of their. Leaving home it dawned on me that school was closed. Upon arriving at the school the parking lot was completely full and I doubted my belief of school being out. I saw all the cars and thought oh darn they are having school. Then I started seeing all the signs for voting in the gym. (not building we normally use) Then I started seeing everyone coming in and out of gymnasium.
As we got closer someone going in asked some one coming out how long did it take. He said he'd come 10 minutes before opened at 6 and there was already a line It was 7:15. I was feeling terrible. I don't know what was worse; my back, my heavy can't breath feeling in my chest, or the pain in my abdomen. When I saw the line I told D, no way. I can't do this. He asked me to stay until we at least figured out what line we'd be in. There were several different ones. A nice lady greeted us and asked where we lived and looked on her map and told us what line to get in. There were different Zones and within the different zones the lines were broken up into groups of the alphabet. Of course ours L-W was the longest. Seriously, it looped around like a line at a ride at an amusement park.
I waited 20 minutes and I thought I was going to fall on the floor. My husband is pretty sympathetic to my ailments but for whatever reason he was determined to get me to stay. He kept telling me, "we're moving". Yeah, a little. We rounded the end of curve and made it to the straight line. Then we figured out that this line is to check in and get your name called out for everyone to hear. The line on the side of ours was to actually vote. OH MY GOODNESS.....no way. I told my husband I love you but I can't do this. I kissed him and promised I'd come back at 3. That sounded like a slower time to me.
On my way out the door, that same nice lady we spoke to on the way ins stopped me. "Honey, are you ok?" she asked me. No, I told her I'm feeling really bad and I really can't make it through the line. I'll be back later. "Come with me", she said. It will be like this all day I'm afraid. Holding my arm she started guiding me towards the front of the line. Oh no, I told her, I can't do this. I heard the crowd complaining about a poor old man who could hardly walk,he had a cane,when they brought him to front of line. The people around me and I could hear some up front griping. What would they say about me? I tried to stop her on the way up there. I told her it would make me very uncomfortable. She assured me it would be fine. Just ignore them. She informed me that they are instructed to let anyone with any sickness, problem standing or whatever they deemed necessary to move to the front of line. Of course I did hear it the minute I got up there. The lady that was next in a very serious mean tone said, "are you kidding me, how many people are you going to keep letting cut in line". The poll worker just ignored her. When they asked for my id the lady said again, your really doing this, that's why this line isn't moving. I turned around with tears in my eyes and told her I really didn't want to do this but the lady insisted I do.
So I get all checked in and they they had to cut me again into the line of people waiting to vote. Oh gosh, I thought I was going to throw up. The lady she put me in front of told me not to worry. She said one day that lady will need help or be feeling bad standing in a line and she'll remember how rude she was to you. Thank you, I told her. I really feel bad about this. She said, "not to offend you but it's obvious you don't feel good." After I voted I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I left at 7:50. So I'd been there 35 minutes. No telling how long if I'd have stuck it out.
When I watched the noon news I heard them say the lines there were averaging hour and a half to two hours. I've never experienced anything like that in all my years of voting. I also know that there were other places in the United States that had much worse conditions. Especially int the northeast. I can't believe there were still people waiting in line as the final results were coming in and even after the election was called for President Obama. This morning before I left for my 2 appointments I saw on the Today show that they reopened the polls in FL to let people finish voting. Unheard of!!
In this long post I really just wanted to point out how important a small kind act is. She didn't have to do that for me. In my eyes for her it took a lot of courage to bring me up there knowing she'd hear more griping. I need to make a point at the next election to see if I see her and thank her again. Maybe bring something nice for her. It's a long day for the people who work the elections. A friend of mine has done it in the past.
Sorry, this was way to long....I'm going to start over about my findings today with my two appointments. Thanks for still coming back just to hear my whining. I'll be back later on tonight.
Fighting back, Theresa
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Always something....
First and foremost please go and exercise your right to vote tomorrow. This is such an important election. Not just the Presidential !
For the last three weeks I've had this stabbing pain in my stomach on the right side right under my ribs. It started out mild. I was just noticing it on and off during the day but nothing to even mention. Week two I said something to my husband and he guessed maybe a pulled muscle. It's worse when I try to sit or recline. Lying flat or standing it goes away to where I hardly feel it. No, it's not gall stones I had that out at age 21. While they were in there they took out my appendix so it's not that either.
Last Monday I realized it had been three weeks and maybe I should have it checked. By Thursday evening it was so intense I emailed my GP my symptoms and asked if I should see her or maybe my gastroenterologist? She said to come and see her to rule out some other things first then if she didn't have an answer I'd go there. I knew in the back of my mind she would tell me to come in and see her. So I got on the web site and made myself an appointment for Monday (today) morning. I couldn't wait it's making me miserable along with my back.
For some reason my back was particularly worse this week end. I spent a lot of time in bed. Between back and the pain in my ribs I didn't even feel like getting on computer or reading. On Friday night I started having shortness of breath. I told myself it was just anxiety about the abdominal pain. I didn't mention to my husband because he thinks I torment myself with worry already. When we went to bed he could tell that I couldn't catch a good breath. It was if someone was sitting on my chest. This added condition just agitated me more.
Both symptoms continued all week end. A couple of times to the point that I thought I'd ask my husband to take me to ER. Especially at night. It's so much worse at night. I could just scream right now it's so intense. I was so confused if one had anything to do with the other. Of course I got on the internet putting in my symptoms only to add to the apprehension of waiting to find an answer. I found on a medical site that some studies showed a SCS causing gastrointestinal effects severe enough to warrant the discontinuation of stimulator. The side effects seemed to be due to an autonomic nervous system imbalance created by the stimulation of the spinal cord. I tried to forget that I read that.
So I saw the GP this am. I was there an hour and 45 minutes and left with an EKG, Chest x ray and my flu shot. ( I wanted to add sore arm to my list of complaints). All ok, so she had two conclusions. In 08 I had to see a gastroenterologist by request of my ENT because she said she saw signs of reflux in the back of my throat. So after the visit he ordered a scope and it showed I had a mild hiatal hernia. Since I had no symptoms he told me he didn't see any reason for me to take medications. If you start to have symptoms come back and see me and we'll start you on some medications. With that said, my GP wanted me to make an appointment with him. (that's where I should have went first).
I have an appointment next week. She also recommended I discuss the abdominal pain with my back doctor being that I've been having complications with my stimulator. It's so hard to get in to see him in a decent time frame so I called and talked to his nurse. She said she'd check with him and ask him if the stimulator could be causing this type of pain and he said yes it could, to come in. After getting a second opinion with Mr. R I decided I'd wait until I see gastro doctor next week and see what he says. I don't find the abdominal pain as a symptom on any of sites I read about hernia's on. I did however read just what the gastroenterologist told me that many people have the condition with no symptoms at all. I just hope I can stick it out until next Wednesday :-(
Isn't he just the cutest grandson ever? I can't believe my grandchildren are three already. I miss the baby stage. You don't feel so needed anymore. They can do most anything on their own now.
For the last three weeks I've had this stabbing pain in my stomach on the right side right under my ribs. It started out mild. I was just noticing it on and off during the day but nothing to even mention. Week two I said something to my husband and he guessed maybe a pulled muscle. It's worse when I try to sit or recline. Lying flat or standing it goes away to where I hardly feel it. No, it's not gall stones I had that out at age 21. While they were in there they took out my appendix so it's not that either.
Last Monday I realized it had been three weeks and maybe I should have it checked. By Thursday evening it was so intense I emailed my GP my symptoms and asked if I should see her or maybe my gastroenterologist? She said to come and see her to rule out some other things first then if she didn't have an answer I'd go there. I knew in the back of my mind she would tell me to come in and see her. So I got on the web site and made myself an appointment for Monday (today) morning. I couldn't wait it's making me miserable along with my back.
For some reason my back was particularly worse this week end. I spent a lot of time in bed. Between back and the pain in my ribs I didn't even feel like getting on computer or reading. On Friday night I started having shortness of breath. I told myself it was just anxiety about the abdominal pain. I didn't mention to my husband because he thinks I torment myself with worry already. When we went to bed he could tell that I couldn't catch a good breath. It was if someone was sitting on my chest. This added condition just agitated me more.
Both symptoms continued all week end. A couple of times to the point that I thought I'd ask my husband to take me to ER. Especially at night. It's so much worse at night. I could just scream right now it's so intense. I was so confused if one had anything to do with the other. Of course I got on the internet putting in my symptoms only to add to the apprehension of waiting to find an answer. I found on a medical site that some studies showed a SCS causing gastrointestinal effects severe enough to warrant the discontinuation of stimulator. The side effects seemed to be due to an autonomic nervous system imbalance created by the stimulation of the spinal cord. I tried to forget that I read that.
So I saw the GP this am. I was there an hour and 45 minutes and left with an EKG, Chest x ray and my flu shot. ( I wanted to add sore arm to my list of complaints). All ok, so she had two conclusions. In 08 I had to see a gastroenterologist by request of my ENT because she said she saw signs of reflux in the back of my throat. So after the visit he ordered a scope and it showed I had a mild hiatal hernia. Since I had no symptoms he told me he didn't see any reason for me to take medications. If you start to have symptoms come back and see me and we'll start you on some medications. With that said, my GP wanted me to make an appointment with him. (that's where I should have went first).
I have an appointment next week. She also recommended I discuss the abdominal pain with my back doctor being that I've been having complications with my stimulator. It's so hard to get in to see him in a decent time frame so I called and talked to his nurse. She said she'd check with him and ask him if the stimulator could be causing this type of pain and he said yes it could, to come in. After getting a second opinion with Mr. R I decided I'd wait until I see gastro doctor next week and see what he says. I don't find the abdominal pain as a symptom on any of sites I read about hernia's on. I did however read just what the gastroenterologist told me that many people have the condition with no symptoms at all. I just hope I can stick it out until next Wednesday :-(
 |
| He looks so grown up |
Hanging in there....Theresa
The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.
Friday, November 2, 2012
A little encouragement goes a long way....
The comment below was left on post "partial answers" I read it and thought how does she know my thoughts and say the same things I say. A perfect example, not being able to do simple stuff. I'm grateful somedays I can do more than others but it seems to me that when I really need to have a good day, those are the worst.
Hi... My name is Alicia I had my stimulator put in 8 weeks ago. I dont know how to feel!! It is not helping in my upper back. It helps to get rid of some of the pain in lumbar and lower back. What really gets me is not being able to do simple stuff.... when I do little stuff around house;Im quickly reminded by my body sit down. Im in pain all the time.... now Im second guessing my decsion to get stimulator..... please email any suggestions..
Alicia
Those little things around the house have to be broken down for me. I am stubborn and for a long time continued to just knock it out and get it over with. After that the next day I was useless. Now I try do at least one thing a day. By the time I'm done I need to start over but at least it gets done. My husband has heard so many times I was going to......blah blah blah but by the time I finished Wal Mart and another errand I had to come home. When I was working I know it really got old for him to come home every day and find me in the bed. I always felt like he just couldn't know what I was going through. Am I sounding familiar?
I replied to Alicia's comment and told her I'd communicate with her via email so I wouldn't just be repeating myself for all my readers or have a comment a page long. I gave her an email address to contact me and little did I know I heard right back from her. While reading her email the tears began to flow. For the first time in the last month I felt a flutter of hope and relief that I'm not crazy. That others are assuring me they are dealing with some of the same struggles I have. We're not determining who has it worse just that we're there for each other and no matter the level or time of pain you're in, ITS REAL and YOUR LIVING with it. Here is what she said to me.....
Hi, Theresa!
Thank you for responding. I have been following your blog since August 30th when I had my surgery. It has been 8 long weeks! I was on my morning walk last november, and I was hit by a car while walking across the street. Since then I have had neck fusion surgery to repair the c4-c5 disks that were rubbing in my neck. This left me with a metal plate and four screws. I have disks that are also rubbing in my lumbar... I did spinal decompression, therapy nothing helped. I'm allergic to the steroids, they caused me to bleed internally... To keep from having surgery on my back I decided to have the stimulator put in. When I first got it I found that it worked pretty good to help me out with my daily pain. I felt a little relief in the lumbar and legs... Im noticing now that the pain Im having in my upper back is horrible... The stimulator does nothing for this area... When I told the Doc, about this he said it may not be able to reach this area, due to the spinal fliud in that area being thick. I'm trying to give the stimulator a chance... But I can't even sit at the kitchen table for long periods of time, because of the pain in my upper back. Im a freelance graphic designer and can no longer work... What gets me is not being able to do the stuff I love to do. I'm really depressed... I see a therapist every week. My life has changed so much in the last few months. I't seems like no one understands!!! I have gotten to the point where I dont want to explain anymore, I do ALOT of journaling!!! When you tell people your in pain on a daily basis,they don't know what to say to you. I have a appointment on Monday to see my Doctor and the St. jude rep. I hope that she can do some fine tuning (as you put it ; ) and make me feel a lil better. I have a torn rotator cuff that , I will be having surgery on in December. I thought that getting the stimulator would help me move forward, but it feels like I'm going back. Your blog has helped me alot. It helps to know that someone else is going through the samething......
I'm sure if you've been following my blog for long a lot of her words sound familiar. When she said " I've gotten to the point where I don't want to explain anymore" It it home for me. One of the biggest reasons I've become a hermit and stay home any chance I get. This doesn't sit well with my therapist, she wants me out spending time with friends and talking about other things. She always says, your friends will understand that some subjects I just don't want to talk about. I'm ok with that, but it's obvious I can't do some of the things they can and I just feel like a party pooper.
My heart goes out to Alicia. Her life was great one day and completely changed the next. What a long hard journey to recover and she's not finished yet. Kind of odd that she is getting coverage where I'm yearning to have it. Doesn't seem fair that you go through this kind of procedure and it doesn't work. I feel the same as her. Relief in the beginning and then wham out of no where I totally lost what coverage I had. Then dealing with all these nerves being effected that don't need to be that actually cause pain for me. It was so much better earlier on which doesn't make sense. Not even to the doctors. I'm still hoping in a little more time maybe Mr. R or Lovely will be able to get it the right place for me. If not, I have some big decisions to make.
She has a grandson she longs to be able to care for and spend precious time with. That went straight to the heart for me. Something else we feel the same about and both said is if we feel this way now, what will it be like 10 years from now. I've said so many times that when I first get up in the morning I feel like a 47 year old trapped in a 90 year old body. It's slow moving and wait for the drugs to kick in.
Donna; thanks for the nice comment. It's readers like you and Alicia that lift my spirits. I never like hearing someone else is dealing with this type of pain but knowing that you understand helps you cope a little better. Please fill me in on how you are doing. One thing you can count on is if you reach out to me, I'll be here. I've contacted two SCS patients with a blog and the never answered. One I tried again because our cases seemed so similar I thought she could give me some answers. She recovered and her life completely changed. She went back to doing things she used to do. So well that her blog isn't anything about SCS's its all about her career.
Leaving you with a picture of an aloe vera plant I'v had since 2010. It was started from my friend Betty's plant and has grown and been shared with some of my friends. Odd thing it has this add bloom (?) in the middle that I've never seen before. My husband things it may be one of those types of plants that bloom every 5 years or so. Who knows but it's unusual.
Our pool is officially closed. D put the cover on this week. A sad day, I'm already wishing May was here. It looked so pretty outside today. Sun was shining and Dallas wanted to just lay on the deck and sun bathe. Didn't feel like winter coming at all. If I had my way I'd sure keep it away. Makes my condition so much more intense. Have a safe and fun week end. Here in Baton Rouge we are bombarded with Bama fans for the big game tomorrow night.
Fighting back.....Theresa
Hi... My name is Alicia I had my stimulator put in 8 weeks ago. I dont know how to feel!! It is not helping in my upper back. It helps to get rid of some of the pain in lumbar and lower back. What really gets me is not being able to do simple stuff.... when I do little stuff around house;Im quickly reminded by my body sit down. Im in pain all the time.... now Im second guessing my decsion to get stimulator..... please email any suggestions..
Alicia
Those little things around the house have to be broken down for me. I am stubborn and for a long time continued to just knock it out and get it over with. After that the next day I was useless. Now I try do at least one thing a day. By the time I'm done I need to start over but at least it gets done. My husband has heard so many times I was going to......blah blah blah but by the time I finished Wal Mart and another errand I had to come home. When I was working I know it really got old for him to come home every day and find me in the bed. I always felt like he just couldn't know what I was going through. Am I sounding familiar?
I replied to Alicia's comment and told her I'd communicate with her via email so I wouldn't just be repeating myself for all my readers or have a comment a page long. I gave her an email address to contact me and little did I know I heard right back from her. While reading her email the tears began to flow. For the first time in the last month I felt a flutter of hope and relief that I'm not crazy. That others are assuring me they are dealing with some of the same struggles I have. We're not determining who has it worse just that we're there for each other and no matter the level or time of pain you're in, ITS REAL and YOUR LIVING with it. Here is what she said to me.....
Hi, Theresa!
Thank you for responding. I have been following your blog since August 30th when I had my surgery. It has been 8 long weeks! I was on my morning walk last november, and I was hit by a car while walking across the street. Since then I have had neck fusion surgery to repair the c4-c5 disks that were rubbing in my neck. This left me with a metal plate and four screws. I have disks that are also rubbing in my lumbar... I did spinal decompression, therapy nothing helped. I'm allergic to the steroids, they caused me to bleed internally... To keep from having surgery on my back I decided to have the stimulator put in. When I first got it I found that it worked pretty good to help me out with my daily pain. I felt a little relief in the lumbar and legs... Im noticing now that the pain Im having in my upper back is horrible... The stimulator does nothing for this area... When I told the Doc, about this he said it may not be able to reach this area, due to the spinal fliud in that area being thick. I'm trying to give the stimulator a chance... But I can't even sit at the kitchen table for long periods of time, because of the pain in my upper back. Im a freelance graphic designer and can no longer work... What gets me is not being able to do the stuff I love to do. I'm really depressed... I see a therapist every week. My life has changed so much in the last few months. I't seems like no one understands!!! I have gotten to the point where I dont want to explain anymore, I do ALOT of journaling!!! When you tell people your in pain on a daily basis,they don't know what to say to you. I have a appointment on Monday to see my Doctor and the St. jude rep. I hope that she can do some fine tuning (as you put it ; ) and make me feel a lil better. I have a torn rotator cuff that , I will be having surgery on in December. I thought that getting the stimulator would help me move forward, but it feels like I'm going back. Your blog has helped me alot. It helps to know that someone else is going through the samething......
I'm sure if you've been following my blog for long a lot of her words sound familiar. When she said " I've gotten to the point where I don't want to explain anymore" It it home for me. One of the biggest reasons I've become a hermit and stay home any chance I get. This doesn't sit well with my therapist, she wants me out spending time with friends and talking about other things. She always says, your friends will understand that some subjects I just don't want to talk about. I'm ok with that, but it's obvious I can't do some of the things they can and I just feel like a party pooper.
My heart goes out to Alicia. Her life was great one day and completely changed the next. What a long hard journey to recover and she's not finished yet. Kind of odd that she is getting coverage where I'm yearning to have it. Doesn't seem fair that you go through this kind of procedure and it doesn't work. I feel the same as her. Relief in the beginning and then wham out of no where I totally lost what coverage I had. Then dealing with all these nerves being effected that don't need to be that actually cause pain for me. It was so much better earlier on which doesn't make sense. Not even to the doctors. I'm still hoping in a little more time maybe Mr. R or Lovely will be able to get it the right place for me. If not, I have some big decisions to make.
She has a grandson she longs to be able to care for and spend precious time with. That went straight to the heart for me. Something else we feel the same about and both said is if we feel this way now, what will it be like 10 years from now. I've said so many times that when I first get up in the morning I feel like a 47 year old trapped in a 90 year old body. It's slow moving and wait for the drugs to kick in.
Donna; thanks for the nice comment. It's readers like you and Alicia that lift my spirits. I never like hearing someone else is dealing with this type of pain but knowing that you understand helps you cope a little better. Please fill me in on how you are doing. One thing you can count on is if you reach out to me, I'll be here. I've contacted two SCS patients with a blog and the never answered. One I tried again because our cases seemed so similar I thought she could give me some answers. She recovered and her life completely changed. She went back to doing things she used to do. So well that her blog isn't anything about SCS's its all about her career.
Leaving you with a picture of an aloe vera plant I'v had since 2010. It was started from my friend Betty's plant and has grown and been shared with some of my friends. Odd thing it has this add bloom (?) in the middle that I've never seen before. My husband things it may be one of those types of plants that bloom every 5 years or so. Who knows but it's unusual.
Our pool is officially closed. D put the cover on this week. A sad day, I'm already wishing May was here. It looked so pretty outside today. Sun was shining and Dallas wanted to just lay on the deck and sun bathe. Didn't feel like winter coming at all. If I had my way I'd sure keep it away. Makes my condition so much more intense. Have a safe and fun week end. Here in Baton Rouge we are bombarded with Bama fans for the big game tomorrow night.
Fighting back.....Theresa
The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.
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