Saturday I went to spend the morning with baby C. Mom and dad had some important business to take care of out of town. She's cutting some more teeth and me being away for awhile we kinda of had a rough morning. She fought her nap and I held her a lot. Even when she won't nap she still so happy and smiling and making you laugh. But she showed signs of how tired she was nonetheless.
After I left their home around two I met D in town to go to a few places we'd been talking about. I really wanted to get out of it because my back was killing me and I was so drained. He's the one I always say no to because I can't seem to say no to others. I needed to do this. For the past year or two he does most things alone and I know it's getting old for him. So we went to a pool store to investigate what it would cost to put in an above ground pool to help me with some great therapy for my back. I feel so good in the pool and I can actually get some exercise without causing a huge flare up after. We got some figures and asked lots of questions. It's an idea right now but a lot to be looked at. 1) The space in our yard. 2) It has to be big enough to do what I want to do. 3) We also have to be able to afford it. We're still so unsure if I'll be able to return to work or not so we're taking our time and turning over every leaf to see whats available.
After being there for an hour I was really uncomfortable but I was determined to press on and spend an afternoon with my husband. My body wanted so bad to lay down and get off my back. Soon, soon. We went to a pet store to find a Thunder Shirt for Dallas. He is getting worse and worse about his anxiety with bad weather. Something had to be done. The owners and a customer gave rave reviews and said it really works so we purchased one and can't wait to try it out. Then we went to Kirkland's. They were having a big clearance sale and I'd been saying to D we needed something for the wall in our bathroom. Why not go why we're right here he said. Just one more place, you'll make it. Ha, I was thinking....you have no idea. And all us ladies know you don't just breeze through Kirkland's. Even D doesn't. He likes to see every space as well. We did find something for the master bath. We were in there for 35 minutes, not to bad.
I felt pretty rough when we made it home. There was so much I wanted to do around the house and I just couldn't. I had stopped on the way home and grabbed a subway sandwich, first thing I'd eaten out since starting WW on Monday. It was ok, the flatout wraps I've been making for lunch tasted much better but I wanted fast!! After that we talked about the pool and D went outside and marked off the measurements. It would take up the entire right side of our back yard. Almost butt against his shed. There is option of dropping down a size but then I can't do laps. We spent the rest of the evening watching some programs together. I couldn't drag myself to work out. I wanted to so bad.
When my eyes opened Saturday am I felt as though I had been beaten everywhere with a bat. Especially my arms. I assume from handling baby C. ( Not your fault little one) I was hoping a week of exercising before handling her would prevent this from occurring. Every muscle hurt. I pulled my self out of bed and noticed right away I had hives everywhere. About 7 or 8. It's not just mental stress, physical causes them as well. I wanted so bad to just get right back in the bed. BADLY. No can do. Late Saturday even we got word that D's sister and brother in law were coming to BR shopping and wanted to have lunch and see the new home. OH boy. I'm always saying I wish his family would come more often. Well, their coming. I threw back pain pill and D said tell me what to do because I know your stressing about the house. Team work. He vacuumed while I dusted. Then he vacuumed the tile, then I mopped. Gosh, that was a killer. A lick and promise in the bath rooms and just made it to shower and meet for 12.
It was a great lunch. I was able to get grilled chicken and steamed broccoli and side salad, plain. Very low points. I did however have a glass of wine and it did take some of the tension away. I have to get my anxiety under control. Everything stresses me out lately. Anyway, back on track, they came to visit after and they put up a pool two summers ago so they gave us lots of opinions on the back yard and how we could make it work. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I really want this for my health, but I'm so concerned over if we can really afford this right now. You just never know what lies ahead.
Session today with my therapist. Much needed too. I hope she can help me come to terms with this heart ache I'm dealing with for my family member. There's just not much I can do to help and that's what hurts the worst. Tomorrow and Wednesday I watch baby C and Thursday is the appointment I've been waiting for with the new psychologist. Mainly to get my meds under control. 25mg is what I'm down to on the Savella and its showing. Then Friday will be here and my husbands family has a reunion in Lafayette about an hour from us. Of course, I'm really anxious about that too. Being away from home is scary for me lately. So as you see I have a full week ahead as opposed to my normal, calm week at home. Planning and pacing myself. No time for that this week.
I do feel better than yesterday as for as how sore I was. I'm praying to get in with Mr. R to get some adjustments. Right now, nothing is helping at all. Everything is moving I guess with the start of exercise. If I can't get coverage, I can't exercise. I text him yesterday to see if we could work it in, but haven't heard back yet. Pretty unusual for Mr. R. Maybe he didn't get my text. I hope to write again mid week but we'll see how it goes.
Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. Proverb 12;24
I must push on.....
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| 2.5 A small but good start. |
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