Week 4 of Weight Watchers

So here I am starting week four on the Monday the 6.  I tried something different this week.  I listened to "Ms. Karen" and ate more instead of less.  She seemed concerned for me that having all those points left over meant I wasn't eating enough.  I only had 9 "Weekly" left and all of my activity points left.  I only missed one day of activity this week.  So the 1.5 I gained back last week is gone again and also is another inch off the waist.  Total no now is even 4. Woo hoo.  That helps with the depression.  Making some progress somewhere in my life.  Baby C's mom shared some nice dress clothes with me after cleaning out her closet.  When I took a look at size I said "no way"  Maybe in another month.  They were nice, name brand.  Tried them on and surprisingly they fit.  I had to find some things in my closet to check out.  Close, I can zip and button but I wouldn't go out in them.  To tight fitting for me.  Here's hoping for another great week.
 Dinner last night.  I tried tilapia a few nights ago (not a fish  

eater) but I liked it.  Enough to eat again.  Dinner last night,  Sweet potato fries, broccoli and
tilapia.
 Tonight I want to try making the zucchini chips I saw on pinterest.  That ought to be a good snack.
I have to say I was worried again how this week would go.  I ate well, drank all my water, and did a lot of walking.  I also know your body reacts to stress and it was definitely dealing with stress this past week.  I really don't see it settling until some things in my sons life are better.




On the drive to baby C's house this morning I was listening to my Mercy Me cd.  One of my favorites came on.  "Bring the rain"." I can count a million times People asking me how I can praise You with all that I've gone through?  The question just amazes me Can circumstances possibly Change who I forever am in You.  Maybe since my life has changed Long before these rainy days It's never really ever crossed my mind.  To turn my back on you oh Lord My only shelter from the storms But instead I draw closer through these times."

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I'll know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if thats what it takes to praise You

Jesus bring the rain

Yes there are days of joy and peace.  Over the last 5 years there seems to be fewer and fewer.  Maybe my chance to be free of this pain is in this last surgery.  I know that life brings you pain, some more than others.  So how hard is it to say if that's what it takes to make us stop and praise you?  To bring it on.  It's very hard.  I can tell you.  I've never questioned my faith up until this point in my life.  I was raised Catholic.  We never missed church.  We went to my grandfathers ofter after for lunch with the grandparents and my mom's sisters and my cousins.  I raised my children in church.  We went no matter what.  Raining, new baby, someone sick.  On vacation, during ball tournaments.  We found a church and we didn't miss.  It was how I started my week and I couldn't imagine making it through with out starting it that way.  When both of my children ( at different times) took time off from church it was so painful to me.  I knew why my mom kept telling me how proud she was that I was raising my children in church.  The roots are planted.  They will grow and then they'll be back.  

They did come back.  Both to the same church, but not our church.  Not the Catholic church.  I was never unhappy about that.  Just happy to see them worshiping.  I actually love their church very much.  Not for me, but I love to visit on occasion.  

P last week at his house.

My last two years of my life I've been out of my Sunday routine. First time in my life ever.  I've never stopped praying.  I actually seem to pray more.  Guess I feel like I'm trying to "stay on his good side", lol.  After my second surgery I've been back here and there.  It's a struggle for me.  Kneeling, standing in one spot, not moving.  Sitting for a long period of time.  I CAN do it. I've just choose not to because I have an excuse.  I'm one of those silly people who worry what others will think.  I have some anger still deep deep inside of me.  I know he didn't cause this pain, but I'm trying to realize that everyone suffers at sometime in their life and it's how you deal with it that most counts.  I'll be back when I'm ready, when I'm stronger.  I'm always worshiping in my music.  He knows, he's listening.  In my car, when I'm walking.  At night time when I'm awake and can't go to sleep.  I tell my self the words to this song often dealing with physical and mental pain.  As this life brings me pain I know if that is what it takes to praise you then Jesus bring the rain. 

P's big brother, Silas