Patiently waiting

9:30 I'm here at the hospital with family waiting for my mom to come out of surgery.  We visited with her for a while before they took her back.  I had a quick moment to meet the surgeon as they were wheeling her down the hall.  They told us 2 hours and the doctor would be out to talk to us as soon as he was done.  My mom and aunt love my hair.  Got it all cut off again yesterday.  Feels good to get ready in 15 minutes again!

2 hours.  Ok, what do I do for 2 hours after an hour drive here.  Sitting in the waiting area was not inviting to me at all.  My aunt and I picked out an area with a couch in the section which appealed to me in case I wanted to release pressure on my back, I could.  An hour and fifteen minutes passed by and the doctor came out.  He said everything went well.  Mom did great.  He answered all our questions and said he'd be by to check on her in the room before he left for the day.  

It's now 1:30.  I took advantage of the hour she was in recovery to stretch and go get me some food.  I'm in the room with her now but she's still pretty sedated.  Awake on and off.  
She wakes up and says, "oh y'all are here" Yes, we're still here mom.  The doctor did stop by.  He's nice.  Answered a few more questions and said he'd be back tomorrow and most likely she will be able to go home by evening time. 

As far as myself, I'm still struggling   I got a text from Lovely early this morning asking if I heard from Mr. R? No I haven't.  "Why? I asked"  She said he had talked to Dr. Graham and was going to get in touch with me.  No word yet.  I'm hoping they have me take the x ray before my appointment Wednesday.  I see no point in going sit there for hours to see him and he just looks at me without any tools to see whats wrong.  I started to text Mr. R but I'm working on being more patient so I'll wait.  My stimulator has been off since Sunday.  I sure miss it.  I'm so anxious about things being corrected. 

I saw my eye doctor for my annual exam that I was 6 months behind on.  Next will have to be mammogram, I'm a year behind on that.  Anyway, she said my vision has drastically changed.  Yeah, I knew that.  My readers were working better than my RX glasses so I knew some changes have occurred.   I was really happy to come home with some contacts for now. Trial, to make sure their the right strength.  I couldn't make up my mind about the frames so I'm going with my husband when he goes in the next couple of weeks.  I'd like a second opinion.  The darn things cost so much I want him to like them too.   

So my eye doctor tells me a story about someone she knows that had a SCS that  they never could get to cover area she needed help with. She had it removed, I didn't need to know that. I didn't ask where, but I know the lower back is the hardest area to get coverage.  I questioned my doctor really hard on my follow up visit after my trial because we were close but not all the way there during the trial.  At the follow up he said that I just needed that extra "paddle lead" in the middle.  So I'm just a little frustrated it's not working.  I have a right to be right?  I'm so tired of waiting.  I'm sitting here praying when my mom gets up to go to the bathroom, which they want her to do soon, that she feels the pressure off of her sciatic nerve and her legs and hip aren't hurting anymore.  

3:00pm I'm about to go take a walk.  I can't sit in this chair any longer.  I can't believe they expect the overnight guest to sleep in this chair.  Even if you didn't have a bad back it's pretty uncomfortable.  I'm not just complaining, my brother completely agrees. He's going home awhile and coming back later when I leave.  My aunt and uncle that sat with me this morning do a volunteer shift every week here at St. Tammany from 12-4.  They'll be back to visit after also.

4:00pm Mom made it up for a walk.  She said her lower part of her leg and foot are not hurting but....her hip still hurts.  I told her it's to soon to tell.  I remember everyone telling me that after the 09 surgery.   The patient in the room with mom, a lady I'd guess to be my age had neck surgery by same doctor the hour before.  I could hear her saying OMG, my hand has feeling again.  She was up walking around right after my mom was moved in the room.  She said, "This is so awesome.  It's been so long that I couldn't feel my hand."  Your so happy to hear someone is healed, fixed or whatever you want to call it but I can't help but wonder why didn't it go that way for me.  My aunt said the same thing when she woke up from her neck surgery.  She felt immediate relief when she woke up from surgery,  which was also done by the same doctor in 04.  We all were like one big room of people sharing stories.  No privacy here. No following HIPPA in this room.  lol

Ok, enough pity party.  Mom has some clear liquids that just arrived.  She's asleep again so I'm going to get her awake and see how she does with some food.   I'll head home to Baton Rouge when my brother comes back tonight.  Food went down well, no nausea so full meal for supper!

Donna, if your reading today I hope today was better for you and you saw some improvement.  Hang in there, it's gonna get better each day.

6:15 My mom's dinner arrived and I have her all set up.  My brother and another aunt are on their way so I'm hitting the road.  Dreading the drive. :-(
My mom wants me to stand by the wall so she can take my picture.  She has plenty of pictures of me.  She loves my hair and wants a picture to show her hairdresser.  Um, it does not look the same at all in a picture.  Matter of fact, I asked her to delete it looked bad.  She agreed it doesn't look the same in picture as in person.  Oh well, it was good to have everyone laughing before I left. 

7:50 Made it home.  Just checked on my mom and my brother said she ate all of her supper and feeling ok.  They had given her some pain medication as I was leaving so I guess it kicked in while I was on way home.  I'm fighting the blues so bad.  Changing meds again.  I HATE this process.  Makes my body go crazy.  Between that, the long day at the hospital, limited sleep last night and worried sick about my son.  I'm sure to have another sleepless night.  I plan to take a day of rest tomorrow.  A real day of rest.  I plan on doing nothing!  I was going to go back to hospital but my mother, who takes care of everyone else insisted she didn't want me driving back over tomorrow.  She promised she'd call if she needed me to come.  A friend is bringing her home and my aunt plans to spend the night if she needs someone to. 

YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR ALTITUDE!