Saturday I drove to Lottie to pick up my granddaughter. We came back to my house to play awhile. My husband had left earlier than me to help out at the church fair. He came home two hours before P's party. I'm sure my daughter would say it turned out just as she'd hoped. P had a lot of guests and all of his gifts were things he really loved. I was on my feet for a good while. I struggled through but I was hurting. Got home kind of late and I couldn't just jump in the bed like I normally would feeling the way I did. I had to take care of getting A something to eat and ready for bed. I was in tears by the time I finally was able to lie down. Thank God that some relief came then. Some fun pictures of P's day.
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| Having fun with Poppa |
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| Something fun for all the kids to do |
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| One happy boy |
The next day A had a visit with her daddy before going home. I went to the fair for a short time to make my husband happy. He had been working there the entire week end. I didn't make it long walking around and I was ready to go. I had an hour to rest before driving A to meet her mommy. It was hard when we left. He cried, she cried and I barely held it together but one of us had to. Before I could reach the interstate she was fast asleep. When I returned home at five I forced myself to walk a little while. Even though it hurts the doctor says it's good to get some blood circulating as much as I can to help the inflammation in that area. After that I hit the couch for TV and rest. The day was mostly over anyway.
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| A playing with P's cousin on the other side of family |
Monday I did my usual weigh in. I gained a pound but that doesn't surprise me at all. Last week was awful for exercise. I had dinner out Wednesday night, a hot dog and birthday cake on Saturday. This coming up week will be my last week before my membership expires. I don't feel the need to continue. I will continue to weigh every Monday to make sure the weight doesn't start to creep back in on me. When you first get off of Weight Watchers it's kind of hard to stop eating some of the things you were eating and your still a little fearful of "the bad stuff". Thats what it teaches you, portion control and eating healthy. I feel good knowing if I have trouble I know what to do to take control. This is my third time doing Weight Watchers and it worked for me every time.
Wednesday was tough. I had an appointment with my therapist. Everything I didn't want to hear she told me. I know she is the professional and knows best but her advise is hard to follow as a parent. Today was appointment with psychologist. I see her once a month to monitor medications. When she heard the story about my stimulator she couldn't believe that my doctor isn't more concerned or telling me what is going to happen now. Not even any encouragement that things will get better. I've tried it several times since last Wednesday.
No changes, so I just turn it back off. Right now I'm doing better without it than with it on.
I haven't been sleeping at night so that just adds to the other aches and pains. Sleep is so important. My psychologist wanted me to try another med to help me sleep. The last one she gave me kept me up all night. I hope this one doesn't.
Tomorrow I'm going to share with you a story of a fellow chronic pain patient. (She gave her permission) Our cases are both alike and quite different. The big difference is a year ago her normal life was taken from her by an accident. Since then her life has drastically changed and she deals with pain everyday. For me it's been going on for more than 10 years but just slowly progressed. It wasn't that bad in the beginning but I always knew in my heart where I was headed.
She commented on a previous post about her stimulator. Her surgery was 8 weeks ago. I replied back and gave her my email in case she wanted to ask or tell me anything that was personal or just to long to type on a comment. When she emailed me back I cried the entire time reading her story. Every thing she said was exactly how I feel and the way I think. We have so much in common. It really helps knowing someone understands and doesn't think your crazy. Knowing that I've reached some people lifts my spirits a little. That was my purpose, to journal and to hopefully answer questions for someone else considering or has a SCS.
Until tomorrow God Bless
Never giving up.....Theresa
The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.
4 comments:
I'm so glad you came back to your blog. I was beginning to worry. I pray for you everyday. You are doing great things in your life, even if it's spending a few minutes typing on this blog. You make me feel like I can do this and my life is not over. It does feel good to know you understand this bad predicament we are in, you are not alone and I look forward to your words to make it sometimes. Thank you
Oh and your grandbabies are adoreable!!
Thank you, they are my reason for fighting to not give up. Once when I said to my therapist that sometime I just feel like I can't push through the pain any longer she said she had learned enough about me to know I'm not one to give in to the bed. She's right. All I want is to be able to do normal things with my grand kids that grandmothers do.
How are you doing? Incisions healing ok? Where is your stimulator and what area did you need relief from?
I'm doing good. A bit let down that it isn't working like I remember but it is helping. The staples came out today and they are perfect, it was my first time out of the house so I'm exhausted but I will make it. The muscles he cut are still healing so I'm still tender. My pain is my lower back and more my right leg & hip than left. My stim battery is on my left backside. I have 2 discs that are leaking but my surgeon refuses to fuse saying fusion will make me worse, he doesn't want to take the chance of failure. I have fibro also. I have been tested for everything and my rhemy isn't sure if I have some form of MS or not since there is no real test. I could possibly get a definate diagnosis later...no hurry for me. I have enough to worry about. Keep in touch please, you're my inspiration (not to sound cheesy) you're like the bionic woman leader to me. ( I call myself the bionic woman now hehe).
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