Roller Coaster Ride!

Love it.....

That's me! Anxiety girl. Can't wait to show my therapist. I may paint and hang in my room. Lol. Thank you special person for making me laugh when I desperately needed to.

Monday night the mean ol hives decided I didn't need to sleep and started their appearance. They hung around all Tuesday to spoil my day. Thankfully they said goodbye late that night and Wednesday was a great day.

I started a fun ride up the coaster and had a long time friend come by for lunch and we picked up right where we left off months ago and caught up. Girls can do a lot of talking in 3 hours. She was even brave enough to come out onto the back patio and see the rock garden. I say brave because one of the fun memories I have of this friend is her fear of lizards. ( there are plenty on my patio ). No secret now who I'm talking about.  I'm glad I let you in, lol.  Wouldn't have wanted a lizard to get you :-)
She, by the way was the inspiration for my post title tonight.

After, I was still feeling ok, so I turned up the stimulation and went for a short drive to visit a special little family that has a piece of my heart. We have a special bond that can't be explained but our lives connected in perfect timing for each other. They think they need me, and I know I need them. I'm sure God put us in touch for a reason.  I was there for around 2 hours and returned home. Caught D up on my exciting day and he was thrilled at my smiles and enthusiasm of looking to the future. Something I've been so anxious about.

About an hour before bedtime I start feeling that sensation of the mean ol pests picking on me. It's been 3 years and I know for sure when it's coming on. Kind of like what people have described to me when they feel a cold sore starting. Sure enough during the night they start burning and itching keeping me awake. By 8 I'm up and letting it roll me down the coaster. Fun is over. Here comes the tears. Why? Idk, nothing new. Why do I let it get to me?  Mostly because I want an answer and there isn't one. That didn't stop me though. I put a call in the dermatologist nurse regarding med changes we made a couple of months back has not made a difference. I'm concerned that in the last three months at least once each month the flair up involved my lip or cheek swelling too. I've read it's more reason to be concerned when it is around your face tongue or throat.

My next call was down a list of Psychologists in Baton Rouge. Mine up and retired out of the blue. The week before surgery I got a letter from his office. I couldn't worry about it then. I was planning to just taper myself off of one of the meds he has me on and switching the other because I don't think it's helping any way. After discussing this with my therapist she did not like the idea at all of me stopping the anxiety medication. The other she'd let my PM and GP decide on. Darn, I was happy to be scratching a name off my list of doctors but I got some advise from another respected source (you know who you are) and I have to do this fun chore of calling down a list and waiting for return calls. The names are few and half do not take insurance. I finally find one that states she is not taking new patients for treatment ( sessions ) but she would get back with me regarding seeing me for medication purposes only. I had let her know I had a therapist I was happy with.

The next call on the list was to the rheumatologist. I've been calling every other day for two weeks not to get my appointment that is on July 3 moved sooner. "I'm sorry he doesn't have anything until first week of August so no cancellations". It seems if your an established patient and you have a need to see your doctor you shouldn't have to wait a month. Scratch on that one too.

More digging for information on hives. As many times as I've googled hives in different ways I still seem to come up with something new. Only a tiny bit of info sometime but anything helps. So it seems all the money I've wasted on topical creams makes no difference. They do not help. I know that, but thought I just hadn't found the right one. Not the reason, it's because their useless for the stinging, burning or swelling. It's all internal not external. I give up.

When they are bad like these last flare ups clothes only aggravates them. Any pressure makes them worse. I guess I will become Pentecostal since I need to stay in a dress. That's not why I'm seeing my rheumatologist but I'm adding to his list to discuss the hives again because I read about auto immune problems related to hives.

Two out of my three calls were returned. The dermatologist and the Psychologist office. I'm lucky she was willing to appoint me for an evaluation and med checks periodically after that. Only bad thing was nothing open until 3rd week in July :-(. Nothing I can do about that. I asked to be put on waiting list to move up. Hands folded 🙏.

On a good note my stimulator seems to be helping pretty well. Still only needing a low low dose of pain medicine. I start with it on low and as day goes on I increase intensity.  I  turn it back down to low when I lie down at night. It can only get better with time. Another plus is that this is the longest I've made it without loosing programs. I have 8 and can still use 2 effectively.  I will get with Mr. R next week for a tune up.  I'm trying to remain positive. Hopefully tomorrow will be a ride up the coaster again. I'll take what I can get.

A few of todays.  Don't look so bad, but believe me some can be painful.  Like the one on the left side.  There is always one in the bunch that hurts worst.

As another chronic pain blogger says, Gentle hugs!  That's what I have to have right now.