I'm really getting nervous. I know I've made the right decision but its the after that I'm scared of. Every surgery I've had, thats what I was fearful of. Not the procedure itself, but after. When your home, hurting and your not sure what is normal and whats not.
So on my way home from the doctor I saw at Tulane I received a call from the St. Jude rep to answer any questions I had. He talked to me almost the entire way home. The doctor did some blood work to test for an infection in my bone (spine) He also recommended for me to see a doctor who in his opinion was the best in US. In LaCombe, what is the best doctor doing in LaCombe? So, if I like this doctor I guess I should follow through and see ONE more. I knew I'd rely a lot on what my husband thought about everything. By the time I got home I had to go to bed and get on ice and heat. I could hardly walk from the car ride. My leg was still hurting me and I was taking Lyrica for that. After resting a couple of hours I got on my computer to see what the sighs are if you have a bone infections. Of course I had plenty of them and convinced myself this was the answer. But of course I'd have to wait several days to hear back from the doctor. My husband thought I should call the doctor in Lacombe and see about an appointment even without the results bc it could take some time to get one.
I didn't hear back from them for a couple days because this particular doctor was only in the office a couple of days a week. They told me initially it would be a couple of weeks before they could get me in. Of course I was terribly disappointed. Patience, something I don't have much of when it comes to getting answers about my back. When they did call back he had talked to doctor at Tulane and he had discussed everything about my treatment with him. He asked the staff to get me in that week. Again, my husband drove me there so I could keep seat laid back. It was an hour away. I like this doctor also. Shocked by his age. Probably in his 80's. He just sat and talked with my husband and I like we were the only people there and he all the time in the world. Seriously. He discussed a detailed procedure with me that involved more surgery on the same area and I'd already been told that it would hard to reach my fusion area because of the type of hardware I had. He felt like I should have some bone taken and tested. So what happens if you find something wrong there. Well you'd need more surgery in that area. It wouldn't be easy. And who would do this surgery? The doctor I saw at Tulane. OMG, I'm so confused. But before any of that he wanted me to have a bone scan done. It's the only thing anyone has not done and I think its important. I wanted to cry. Another test. I don't thing I can do it. He also wanted just some simple x-rays done but in certain positions. Bending over and bent at side. He wrote some scripts for all of those and asked me to come back to see him when I had the results of everything. Ok, I've done everything else thats been asked, so I'll do this. Why, because I"M SICK OF HURTING! Does anyone get it? Btw, the blood work did not show any infection in my bone. Of course not, that would be to simple.
I start working on these appointments for the x-rays and bone scan appointments the next day. I remember the bone scan appointment for sure. It was the day after the 4th of July. My mom came to go with me. I had to go early in am and they put the dye in your veins and you go back 2 hours later for the test. I just didn't think it could do it alone. Between the pain I'd been dealing with and everything else in last few weeks I was weak. Like I said earlier, I was depressed but just didn't know it.
Meanwhile, my appointment arrived with the Psychologist. I was so nervous. First they had warned me it would most likely take around two hours for the text then instead of coming back on another day she managed to get me my consult with him an hour after testing. So that meant I'd be sitting in a chair for some time. Just the thought of that made me keep crying about the appointment. The day came and answering all the questions were complete torture. I didn't think I'd ever finish. Long story short he reviewed with me my results of tests. I was borderline depressed almost over the line for full blown depression but he said it was easily controlled. He made a change in the depression medicine I was on and added an anxiety medicine. So now I'm up to 5 or 6 RX's now. Pain med, hive med, antidepressant, and anxiety med. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. He was to busy to treat me so he referred me to a LCSW that I had no choice but to see because if I decided on the SCS I need the letter from him to be able to get approval from insurance co. Right now he said I was to anxious and depressed for it to work for me properly. He claimed that with treatment and medicine changes that my results of the trail would go a lot better. Sounds reasonable, what choice do I have?
It took 2 weeks to find a SW that took my insurance and could see me sometime that month. By this time it was time to go back to see OBGYN and see if the birth control pills worked. They did, but new ones had appeared. So another month of them and lets do this again. Sure, I love laying flat on my back on the table and having an vaginal ultra sound. Then I get to go sit and wait in your office for an hour or two. But no problem I should be used to staying in the doctors office these last months.
The Psychologist didn't talk to me at all about tapering of the Zoloft before starting the Cymbalta. I just stopped one and started another. While in the OBGYN office which was on day 2 of the Cymbalta I just started bawling uncontrollably. They brought me to back to talk to the nurse but I was so upset I couldn't even talk. It was so embarrassing. Never in my like have I felt so out of control. I could not control the crying and had no idea why. The nurse there after talking to me explained what she thought was going on. She said you should have slowly tapered off of Zoloft and started on super low dose of Cymbalta at same time until Zoloft was out of your system. I'd heard of meds you don't just quit taking but hey, I was following advise of my Psychologist. This went on for 3 days. I didn't leave the house and my poor husband was probably scared out of his wits. I'm sure he'd thought I'd lost my mind. So did I. Once the Cymbalta started working and the Zoloft was gone I started feeling better. At least emotionally. I was still scared to go back to see my OBGYN. I felt like everyone there would remember me for what happened. That was in July so I didn't go back til around November I think.
I started seeing the LCSW once a week. I went back to see the Specialist in Lacombe with all my reports he asked for. The bone scan was ok. The report showed "activity" at L4/L5 area. He said that meant inflammation. Yeah, I knew that. He had changed his plan of action when I went back and had talked to Tulane doctor again. Now he agreeded that a SCS or pain pump would be best for me. I still wasn't so sure. I had time though. The insurance wouldn't agree to anything until they received release letter from Psychologist. The Psychologist didn't want to see me again until LCSW felt I was better and was not so anxious about my entire health problem. I really liked them and was even thinking that if I did decided to do the stimulator I'd possible do the implant there. Or maybe the trial there.
Meanwhile I needed a refill on a medicine so I had appointment with my PM doctor here. I told him about the different doctors I'd seen. He seemed very understanding about me seeing another doctor for an opinion. He explained the difference between the stimulator he uses and why and what they use. So at the is point we had to all sit back and wait. I asked him about a recumbent bike and was that ok for me to be on. He was agreeable and would be good for me. We started shopping for one. I really thought it would help my frame of mind if I could get back to exercising and stretching.
All for tonight. I'm tired. We're getting close to finishing history and to surgery date. I'm glad I've read some other blogs and or reviews on what to expect. I hope there is no complications. A lot to do tomorrow. I want to push myself to have my house clean to start off. I know it won't last long. I have some shopping to do when I get my body working in the morning. So it will be a full day. I'll do what I can. On Tuesday I will be keeping baby C. I haven't seen her in two weeks. I bet she has changed. A perfect thing for me to be doing the day before. She'll keep me from thinking about it all day. I will miss seeing her.
No comments:
Post a Comment